No Matter of Chance
by AmboDriver
Summary: "If/Then" story. Can Arizona and Callie break out of the ruts they've been in and finally lead the lives they may be destined to lead? Rated M for language, a little violence, and some adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

**No Matter of Chance**

**By AmboDriver**

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these characters that I adore.

A/N: Yes, I should be writing "Thin Line", but school is crazy and those chapters take time because of their size/emotions. This story's chapters will be much shorter (2 scenes, 1 from each point of view) so I can get it in between all the studying while still working on the longer stuff.

I'm a little late to the post-"If/Then" game. But I'm a bit of a fanatic for first time stories, and I also prefer to write within canon, so that's a bit tough with Calzona until this alternate storyline. So now I get to write a first time story and keep it kind of canon. Not to mention I get to play with slightly different and pretty flawed versions of Arizona and Callie. As Arizona would say, "Yay!"

I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think (I can even take some constructive criticism). Even with shorter chapters, school will keep me busy so don't expect more than a chapter a week at MOST.

Ratings and Content Warnings: This story will be violent in at least one part, so if you have triggers, beware. There may very well be some explicit moments later on (hence the M rating). And I'm sure there will be bad words. I'm a big fan of hot women with dirty mouths!

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><p>"<em>Destiny is no matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." –William Jennings Bryant<em>

Chapter 1

She'd been having the best dream. Or at least she had the impression she had been having a wonderful dream by the warm feeling suffusing her body. But she couldn't quite remember what it was about. Instead, she was now awake, at 3:17am, and the other side of the bed was empty. Like most nights, Callie assumed the motion of Owen rising and the soft snick of the door as it closed had woken her.

It was far earlier than Owen normally got up, his sleep so often disturbed by nightmares and his brain obviously going too fast to settle back down once awake. For the first few months, Callie would wake when the bed shifted as he rose to go to the basement and workout or Skype with his friends who were still in Iraq. She'd stay up, sometimes going to sit in one of the kids' rooms, sometimes just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. But she always worried about what her husband was going through down in his basement refuge. She was damned if she knew, because he refused to talk with her about it or about most anything for that matter. Instead, he ran from the demons on the treadmill or beat them into submission with the punching bag. But never did he share them with his wife, the same wife he swore just five years earlier to go through life with, through sickness and health and in good times and in bad. No, he was silent, and soon Callie learned to be silent, too.

But really she was good at silence. She'd been raised on it, taught to embrace silence and put up good appearances early on in life. So it felt familiar, even comfortable in some ways, to let it go on. And it hadn't taken long for her to easily roll over and fall back asleep whenever she felt the bed shift as Owen awoke in the middle of the night. Staying up was acknowledging the problem, allowing it to breathe in her life. But going back to sleep was her way of playing along. After all, people in perfect marriages slept soundly at night.

She had learned at the feet of masters. Her parents had made it look so easy when she was a child. Live the lie long enough and you might even forget it was a lie. The way her father looked at her sister sometimes, Callie could swear he'd forgotten. Only she and her parents knew the truth, after all, and if you were going to hide a lie that big, you had to be convincing. Too bad Owen wasn't quite as good an actor.

His lie about how he'd damaged his hand, when half the hospital knew about the smashed window, just proved he was no good at the game she had perfected as a child. But she played along and chose not to confront him. If there was one thing Callie was no good at, it was confrontation, at least outside the OR. That's why she chose the silence and veil of keeping up appearances. It was less painful and far safer. It also meant not having to face the truth of her life. From the outside, she looked like she had everything—the perfect marriage, beautiful kids, successful career. But as she rolled over and closed her eyes, determined to let it all go and ignore another night of Owen's pain, she knew the real truth. Besides her children, she had settled. She had let others make choices for her and now she felt like she had no choice but to continue on.

Sleep came too easily. Not that she minded. Maybe she'd find that illusive dream again. And maybe, just maybe, it would allow her to forget the lies for a short time, until she awoke and had to put on the mask and play the part again.

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><p>Arizona pushed the cereal around in her bowl, her eyes continuing to flicker up toward her bedroom door. She had heard the shower turn off a few minutes previously but still the door was closed. She sighed heavily and shoveled the soggy cereal into her mouth. <em>I've got to stop bringing them home. At least if I go to their place, I can slip out early. This awkward morning routine just sucks.<em>

The door finally opened and Shelley stepped out. Or was it Sheila? Arizona had been drinking the night before, although not quite drunk enough to blame her uncertainty on the alcohol. She preferred to blame it on the decibels in the bar that had made their initial meeting more an exercise in lip reading than an actual conversation. Or maybe it was the stunning auburn hair that had distracted Arizona enough so that she hadn't heard. It had certainly distracted her from seeing the rather plain features on the other woman's face or her bony and jagged physique.

It didn't really matter the reason. They had left the bar without Arizona not being sure what her night's lay was called and honestly she didn't care. And it wasn't like they'd talked much once they'd gotten to Arizona's place, so names weren't necessary. It was a good thing Arizona wasn't much of a screamer, though, because she might have been worried as things got started that she'd be found out. But even that would not have been a problem. The sex was far from scream-worthy anyway.

"Thanks for a nice evening," maybe-Shelley said. She seemed stiff and her smile was a little too pleasant.

"Do you want something to eat? I've only got cereal." There were some advantages to not cooking. Being able to only offer cereal the morning after was one. It rarely was enough of a draw to keep them around. When it did, she'd go into the bathroom and use her cellphone to send herself a page to the hospital. If there was one perk of being a surgeon, it was being able to use work as an excuse.

"No, I've got to get going," the redhead said. "I've got to get changed for work." She came over and gave Arizona an awkward hug and a quick peck on her cheek. "It's okay," she said quietly, "I won't expect a call."

Arizona just watched the woman collect her purse and leave the apartment. Only then did she sigh out heavily in relief. She dipped her spoon absently in the bowl of soggy cereal. "I've got to stop doing this," she said to herself, but she knew she wouldn't. Relationships were hard, especially at Seattle Grace. It was far safer to stick to the little lesbian bar on the other side of town, pick up a woman for a night, and then move on. One night stands didn't send you flowers at work or try to meet you there for a date.

One night stands also didn't violate the unwritten rule Chief Grey had laid out for her shortly after she started working there. _"Reputation is everything, Dr. Robbins. And unfortunately appearances are very important for our reputation. I expect my attendings to play a role in that. I don't care what you do in your private life, but keep it there. I'm not singling you out, mind you. I tell all my new attendings this. But seeing as how things went for you at Hopkins, I think you know what I'm trying to avoid."_

As if Arizona would ever make that mistake again, regardless of Ellis Grey's admonition. No, one night stands were better all around. She wasn't going to ever run the risks she did with Sandy. Not ever again. It had almost cost her chief resident. It had cost her any chance she had at a permanent position at Hopkins or anywhere within a thousand miles for that matter. And it had certainly cost her her heart.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**No Matter of Chance**

**By AmboDriver**

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these characters that I adore.

A/N: Thanks for all the feedback. I'm glad you guys are along for the ride and that there's interest for a few of the strings I put in to the first chapter. Would it be blowing my cover if I said I'm interested to find out what happened to Arizona at Hopkins, too, because to be honest I'm not really sure yet? We'll have to find out together!

And sorry this took so long. School and work are just keeping me incredibly busy. And also sorry that these scenes are a bit more of background and set up, but I needed to lay some groundwork to settle the characters a bit. They'll finally start interacting next chapter, I promise.

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><p>"<em>Destiny is no matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." –William Jennings Bryant<em>

Chapter 2

Callie sat at her desk and sighed. She'd looked over the numbers a few times and yet she felt so unsure about what her report to the Chief was going to say. Absorbing Seattle Presbyterian was going to be a far more difficult prospect for Callie than the takeover of Mercy West had been. At that point she was still an up and coming cardio surgeon, newly hired on as an attending. Now she had been named head of the department in the wake of Preston Burke's sudden departure. And this go around she had to contend with the prospect of Erica Hahn.

"The Chief has my back," she muttered to herself, still not quite feeling so sure of that fact. She wasn't so naïve that she didn't realize Ellis Grey's early interest in her had been based on more than her talent. Sure, she was an outstanding surgeon, likely one of the best, but the fact that the Chief of Seattle Grace had once been her mother's college roommate, not to mention the fact her father was one of the richest men in Florida and could offer the occasional million dollar grant to the hospital where his daughter worked, were certainly factors in the support and nurturing she had gotten early in her career. '_It's all about connections'_, she could still hear her mother say the day she left for her freshman year at Harvard, just another legacy kid among many. And while Callie was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, just once she would have liked to have been sure she'd gotten what she earned, and not what having Carlos and Lucia Torres as parents gave her. _If it comes down to Dr. Hahn wanting this job, I'll prove to everyone that I'm far better than she was at my age. It took her seven years as an attending before she got her first Harper-Avery short list. I'll have mine this year and it's only my first year post-fellowship. That artificial lung will be my ticket. It might even win me the damned thing. And I did that with three kids at home under the age of five. I'm a fucking rock star compared to Erica Hahn._

A knock at the door brought her out of her thoughts and she looked up to see Addison standing—well, okay, more like leaning under the weight of her pregnancy—in the doorway. "Can I come in?"

"Please. And sit down. Just looking at you reminds me of all the swollen ankles and back pain, especially from the twins." She leaned back, feeling a ghost of the discomfort that she had spent the last few weeks of that pregnancy enduring. "Don't even get me started on that childbirth. Take the epidural. Trust me on this one."

Addison's smile was forced as she sat. "I plan on it."

Callie's brow furrowed as she recognized the turmoil in her friend's blue eyes. "What's wrong?"

Addison rubbed at her forehead and swallowed hard. There were tears in her eyes as she looked down at her hands. "Derek and I are separating."

"What?" Callie was truly surprised by this sudden revelation. Sure, there were the occasional obvious tensions between the Shepherds, but every couple had those. Otherwise they seemed to be so perfect together.

Addison pinched at the bridge of her nose. "This needs to stay between us. But you're the closest thing I have to a good friend here and I need to talk to someone." She finally looked up and met Callie's gaze and she started to speak a few times before she finally got the words out. "The baby isn't his."

Only many years of schooling her features in public kept Callie from displaying her initial shocked reaction. She took a quick breath and counted to three, just like her mother had taught her as a child, and then finally spoke. "I don't know what to say." It was probably the most honest thing she could offer at that point. It was certainly better than the false platitudes that came more naturally to mind.

"Last summer I went back to New York for a while to visit family. While I was there, I ran into an old friend." She sighed quietly. "Things with Derek haven't been good for a long time. He's just been so distant, so depressed even. Sometimes I'd try real hard and other times I just kept up appearances, hoping that if I pretended hard enough, things would just start being that way."

_Story of my life._ Callie nodded and leaned forward a little over her desk. "Addison, we all make mistakes. Don't you think you should give Derek a chance? Maybe he can forgive this?"

Addison bit at her lip and shook her head, obviously barely holding back tears. "The friend I ran into was Mark Sloan. Mark and Derek practically grew up together. They were like brothers until just before we left New York." She wiped at her eyes quickly. "He was why we left. Last summer wasn't the first time."

"Addie, I'm sorry." She wanted to say more, to find out more, but she was unsure how anything other than being a sounding board would be received. Sure they were friends, but they were not super close. They were both products of their upbringings and, so, tended to keep others just a little at a distance. It was easier to hide the imperfections that way. And suddenly having Addison Montgomery-Shepherd admit to her imperfections in such a huge way made Callie uncomfortable and unsteady. "What are you going to do?"

Addison shook her head and frowned. "I don't know. I really don't and I need some time to think. I didn't think Mark wanted to be in the baby's life and now he does. So much has changed and I really just need a little time to think about it." She gave Callie a hesitant smile. "I'm sorry. I just needed to tell someone. But, really, there's not much more to say right now."

"That's okay," Callie offered as she picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. She needed the time to compose herself. She wasn't very good with situations like this, with personal revelations and supporting people in times of trouble. So, she did what she always did. As she lowered her cup, she put a smile on her face and said. "I'm here if you need me." It was what you were supposed to say in times like this. Callie was good at saying what she was supposed to say, even if she maybe didn't always feel the sentiments behind the words.

"Thanks. And I want you to know the offer is mutual. I heard what happened with Owen, so if you need someone to talk to."

"What? His hand?" She shook her head and waved dismissively. "It was just a junkie and he'll be fine. He won't be able to operate for a few…" She trailed off at the strange look on Addison's face. "What?"

"What did he say happened?"

Callie's heart pounded a little heavier at the implication of Addison's question. She didn't want to really believe the rumors she'd heard about the window, but she knew they were true. And the fact that Owen would lie to her and that she believed him at first, well, that was just more proof that things were falling apart around her. And she couldn't have that. "He said there was a fight in the ER and a junkie pushed him back into a tray of instruments."

"Oh," was all Addison said.

"Oh?" Callie balled her fists in her lap as she leaned forward toward Addison. "What happened? What really happened?" While she'd heard about the window, no one had said what might have caused her husband to punch it.

Addison let out a deep breath and pinched at her nose again. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Addison," Callie almost growled out.

"The rumor mill is that he and Yang were talking in the ER and something happened. He yelled at her and punched the window by Trauma 2." She bit at her lip before continuing. "I saw them replacing the glass this morning," she said in almost a whisper.

_Son of a bitch._ Callie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to quell the sudden burn of bile in her throat. She had hoped this was all behind him, she had hoped and prayed, and yet the specter of his PTSD kept wielding its ugly head. And worse was the fact that each time it boiled to the top and Owen exploded, Callie felt less and less sure of how safe it was for him to be around the kids. Even the most calm of parents sometimes lost their patience with their children, but to have a ticking time bomb around them was frightening. _No, he'd never hurt them. I know he wouldn't. He loves those kids too much._ She finally looked back up at Addison. "Does the Chief know?"

"I'm sure she does. He destroyed hospital property and there is a cost to replace the window." Addison's eyes softened in empathy. "Callie, I'm sorry. Is he getting therapy?"

"Yes, of course," Callie lied. She needed to save face, for both her and Owen, by making it seem like everything was going as it should. "He's working on it. I'm sure it was just a slip up. I must have misunderstood him when he told me what happened."

"Of course," Addison said as she started to stand. "I've got to go check on a patient. Thanks for listening. And if you need anything..."

"I know," Callie said, waving her hand dismissively as she turned her attention back to her laptop to avoid more platitudes. She didn't look up until she heard the door open and shut and even then she waited a few moments before she leaned back in her chair and let out a huge sigh. "Damn it!" She quickly shook her head. "No, it'll be okay. He'll be okay. We'll get him back into therapy and he'll be okay." It was the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world. She just wanted her life to be okay.

But it never was.

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><p>Arizona absently sipped at her coffee as she looked over the diner's breakfast menu. <em>Pancakes or waffles? Pancakes or waffles? <em>It was her age old breakfast struggle and she knew she'd make the choice on a whim when the waitress came to take the order.

"Thanks for meeting me on such short notice."

Arizona looked up over the top of the menu and was met by bright blue eyes. "You know anytime you need me, I'm here, Erica." Arizona truly meant that, because Erica was one of her closest friends in Seattle. Not that that meant much, since Arizona didn't exactly have any super close friends anywhere, but it was nice to have someone there who understood her. Even if their friendship had started off as just another one-night stand, it had quickly turned to friendship when they realized the next morning they were both surgeons. Sure it had been a little awkward at first, but once Arizona realized she could never just sleep with Erica Hahn and forget her, she had quickly warmed to the idea of becoming friends with her. It was an easy friendship, one that was more about exchanging hospital rumors or cruising for women together, but when either of them really needed the other, they were there. And when Erica had called her in almost a panic that morning and asked to meet up with her, she knew she was in for something big. "Let me guess. Word of the evil takeover schemes of one Ellis Grey has reached the tranquil halls of Seattle Pres and thrown you all into a whirlwind of terror?"

"Um, yeah, you could say that." Erica quickly motioned to the waitress to bring over a cup of coffee before looking back at Arizona. "Am I supposed to compete with the Chief's pet for head of cardio if this merger happens? How can you compete with someone who got their spot because the Chief had an affair with her father?"

"Is that the story you've heard?" Arizona was surprised by that version. She'd heard a few others, but none had mentioned an affair. They often mentioned Calliope's father buying her way into the Chief's good graces or her family knowing some dirt about the hospital. But Ellis Grey's sex life was not something anyone who wanted to keep their job gossiped about, so maybe there was some truth to the Chief having an affair, and no one was willing to come out and say it. "Trust me, Doctor Torres is excellent. She deserves her position."

"And she's hot. You've told me before that you thought she was hot. She's a bitch, but a hot one." Erica took a deep breath but it didn't seem to calm her down much. "Eye candy is not what I look for in a boss."

Arizona winced a little at the reminder of the times she and Erica had talked about their various colleagues and her not so generous appraisal of Calliope Torres. Sure, Riley's case had shed some new light on the head of cardio, and Arizona had a newfound respect for Doctor Torres, but she remembered all too well how often that smug attitude and the ass kissing Torres so often did around the Chief would rub her the wrong way. In fact, now that she took a moment to think about it, she was surprised at how fast her opinion of Torres had changed. And even more surprising was how quickly she found herself unconsciously jumping to her defense. "Yes, she is hot. But she's also an excellent surgeon. She's innovative and cares about her patients." Arizona took a quick sip from her coffee and shot Erica a sly smile. "She suffers from cardio-god syndrome, just like you do."

Erica's smile lit up her eyes playfully. "But I am a cardio-god. She's just a demi-god, a baby god. It takes time and experience and incredible outcomes to become a full-fledged cardio-god."

"Oh, I think she's probably a lot closer than you think." For some reason, she didn't want to tell Erica about their latest amazing case, because she wanted Erica to be surprised when she read about it in the medical journals. It was bound to be big once it got out and could be truly groundbreaking in treating pediatric cases like Riley's. And while Arizona did love Erica as a friend, she always enjoyed watching anyone who considered themselves that much of a surgery god be humbled once in a while. It was good for the soul. It had been a tough lesson to learn herself, and one she still had a hard time accepting, but she so enjoyed dishing it out to others whenever she could.

"Whatever," Erica said dismissively. "But, seriously, what am I going to do if this takeover happens?"

"Why don't you cross that bridge when you come to it?" Arizona didn't have an answer and so it was easier to brush her off.

"I suppose," Erica grumbled as the waitress came over and placed a mug of coffee before her. She looked up at the waitress. "I'll have a cup of oatmeal and half a grapefruit."

The waitress looked over at Arizona expectantly. "A Belgian waffle with extra whipped cream and strawberries. And a side of bacon."

As the waitress walked away, Erica chuckled. "You better hope Torres is a cardio god. If you keep ordering like that, you'll be needing her services before long."

Arizona laughed at the joke even as her mind turned toward deep brown eyes and full lips painted just the right shade of red. She shook her head, quickly chasing the image away, and then fixed her attention back on Erica, wanting to turn the tables and get back on safer ground. "So, how's Julia?"

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

**No Matter of Chance**

**By AmboDriver**

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these alternative versions of characters that I adore.

A/N: So sorry this took a while. Life's been one major suckfest after another and I've suffered some serious writer's block on top of that. On the plus side, I've totally reconsidered what I'm going to do with this story. I think it'll make the story a little more unpredictable and hopefully better (I should warn you that in my book better=more dramatic). I'm going to keep my big mouth shut beyond that since my original content disclaimer still generally covers the new idea. And I will promise that there will be lots of happiness in the end. It just will be a bit of a tough road on the way, but I can never write all ponies and rainbows. It's just not me.

Thanks for your comments, ladies and gents (are there any gents out there?). It really means a ton to me and keeps me coming back to writing even when life gets in the way for big swaths of time. You guys (or should I say gals) make it worth it.

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><p>"<em>Destiny is no matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." –William Jennings Bryant<em>

Chapter 3

Callie cursed under her breath as she jogged around the corner and grabbed at the door to the Chief's conference room. It figured the one time Ellis Grey decided to hold a staff meeting at a decent time, she'd end up getting sucked into crunching numbers for the merger and almost forgetting. She shook her head at her own stupidity and yanked the door open, hoping against hope that the chief wasn't there yet.

Surprisingly enough, the chair at the far end of the table was empty. However, that wasn't what really caused Callie to stop in mid stride. Every single surgeon around the table, with the exception of Richard Webber, was sitting in a different chair than they normally occupied. Owen had moved over to take Mandy's empty seat next to Webber. Derrick had taken Arizona's seat and was sitting with his eyes fixed firmly on his phone. Addison had moved into Callie's seat, quite obviously to be out of Derrick's line of sight. Arizona had moved to sit where Addison normally sat. And a new man, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and just the lightest shadow of facial hair was sitting in the chair down by the chief that usually remained empty. Callie blinked a few times as she took it all in, before moving to the only empty remaining chair, the one between Addison and Arizona. As she sat down she shot Addie a look and leaned in to whisper, "New guy?"

"Baby daddy,"

"Oh!" Callie looked down to see Derrick glance up just long enough to fix the father of his wife's child with a look that would wither most men. She started to look down the table to see the reaction when she met the blue eyes of the woman sitting to her right. "Um, hi," she said, her voice suddenly sounding a little strained to her ears.

"Good morning," Arizona replied with a bright smile. "Well, okay, almost afternoon," she added quickly. "After the meeting do you have a few minutes to check on Riley? I'd like to see about discharging him today or tomorrow and want your sign off."

"Yeah, sure," Callie answered before dropping her eyes to the pile of folders she had stacked under her hands. "I have a cabbage in an hour, but I can look in before then." She took a breath and looked up into blue eyes.

"Thanks," Arizona said quietly as the door leading to the Chief's office opened.

The entire room quieted as Ellis Grey came in. "Have you all had a chance to meet Mark Sloan? He'll be taking over our plastics department and hopefully starting up a new burn specialty unit." As she sat down at the table, she took a moment to look around at the surgeons gathered there, a slightly quizzical look coming to her eyes. She shook her head slightly and then added. "I would ask that you all do your best to help get Dr. Sloan acclimate to how things function around here." She then looked at Sloan. "Welcome."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey. I'm looking forward to working with all of you." He looked around the table, but Callie noticed he pointedly avoided looking at both Addison and Derek.

"Okay," Chief Grey said before anyone could really speak. "Let's go around and discuss what is going on today."

The meeting went generally as all the daily staff meetings went, with the possible exception of a thick cloud of tension settling around the table. The Shepherds wouldn't look at each other and neither would look at the new doctor. But worse was the tension Callie was personally experiencing. She could barely look at her husband after learning for sure from Addison that Owen had lied to her. She could feel the irritation, the anger, starting to boil in her, and she worried that she would not be able to properly focus for her surgery later in the day with all the emotions swirling in her.

She looked at Arizona out of the corner of her eye and felt a momentary calming. There really was something about her gentle demeanor that made Callie feel better. When Arizona had told her she was awesome after they realized Riley was improving, Callie had felt better about herself than she had in a long time. While Owen would often say kind words to her, Callie had to admit it had been years since those words really held any true meaning behind them. If Callie were truly being honest, she would have to even admit that maybe those words never had much meaning when he uttered them. She sighed heavily and leaned back in her chair.

"Calliope?"

Callie blinked when she heard her name from her right. She looked over to find Arizona staring at her with a mixture of humor and concern in her impossibly blue eyes. "What?"

"The meetings over and you were just staring off into space," Arizona said quietly as she leaned in toward Callie. "And then you sighed. Is everything alright?"

Callie's eyes drifted up to meet the blue eyes of her husband. He was watching her with the strangest mixture of questioning and a hint of sadness. She considered those eyes for a second, nothing that they still weren't as brilliantly blue as Arizona's, before she closed her own eyes and shook her head. She considered for a second what to say, feeling some strange desire to be honest with the pediatric surgeon, but she couldn't. Things with Owen might still be saved, if she could just talk to him and convince him to truly seek treatment. He was already in enough trouble because of the trauma room window, she didn't need to amp up the issues he might be facing. "Everything's fine." She pushed her chair out. "I'll see you at Riley's room in about fifteen minutes. I have a patient I want to look in on first."

She quickly stood up before Arizona could say anything and headed out the door. Just as she left the small conference room, the Chief caught up with her and grabbed her arm. "Doctor Torres, I'd like to speak with you after your surgery this afternoon. Please page me when you are available."

Callie did a double take at the cold stare Chief Grey was giving her. She was not giving anything away in her eyes, and it made Callie quite unnerved. "Of course. I'll page you as soon as I'm scrubbed out."

"Good," Ellis said with just the hint of a smile that did not come close to reaching her eyes. "I'll see you later then." She turned on her heal and called out. "Doctor Hunt, can I speak with you?"

Callie watched the Chief corner her husband and she could tell from his demeanor what they were discussing in hushed tones before she ferreted him into her office. "Fuck," she mumbled under her breath.

"I'm sorry," Arizona whispered as she came up to Callie's shoulder for a moment's pause before she walked off again down the hall toward the elevators.

Callie watched her go and then closed her eyes, feeling the tight ball of tension in her stomach. "Fuck," she muttered again before opening her eyes and taking a deep breath. "First thing's first," she said a little louder before starting to head off in the same direction as the pediatric surgeon only to stop after two steps and change direction toward the stairs.

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><p>Arizona dotted an i and crossed two t's before looking up to watch Calliope Torres continue her examination of Riley. She was leaning in, her stethoscope pressed to the young boy's back, with the most intense look of concentration on her face. <em>She really is beautiful.<em>

It was far from the first time she had thought that about the cardio surgeon. The only thing that had changed recently is she had begun to realize Callie was less of a bitch than she initially thought. It was strange to remember the way Arizona used to always feel rubbed the wrong way when it came to Doctor Torres. Sure, she had a little god complex, but what great surgeon didn't? Okay, maybe Arizona didn't have one, at least in her opinion, and maybe the cardio surgeon's quick rise to the top of her department also had something to do with Arizona's opinion, but she found herself now pleasantly surprised that Calliope Torres was more approachable than she had thought.

Not that she would really approach any of the senior staff in anything but the most professional of manners. It was much easier to keep her private life separate from work when she didn't form attachments with her colleagues. Sandy's wife Maggie had taught her that in spades and Ellis Grey had made sure she would never forget when she was first hired at Seattle Grace. Besides, it wasn't like she had much of a social life to share around the water cooler. Somehow she doubted the married senior attendings would want to hear about her string of one night stands anyway.

She sighed heavily as she turned her head back toward the clipboard. There was no sense worrying about it or dwelling about her lack of connections at the hospital. No, it didn't matter how hot Calliope Torres was, or even how nice she was turning out to be, they couldn't even become friends. But was there anything wrong with pining for her? Just a little?

Just the hint of a smile hit Arizona's lips at the thought. There was something incredibly alluring about unrequited attraction. She flashed her blue eyes up to watch Callie speak with Riley's mother. The two women laughed and Callie reached out to grab the other woman's elbow in a friendly show of support. It made Arizona smile. She couldn't believe how little she had liked this woman until they found success in Riley's case.

She must have drifted off into her thoughts because the next thing she knew Callie was standing next to her. "Doctor Robbins?"

Her blue eyes blinked rapidly before they met the deep brown eyes watching her with the slightest of questioning squints. "I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well last night." The lie fell easily from her lips.

"I was just saying he's good to go."

"Oh, okay." Arizona glanced down at the clipboard and only then remembered she was done writing in it, so she pushed it along the counter toward Callie. "Here you go."

Callie's gaze didn't move to the clipboard right away. Instead those incredibly warm eyes kept watching Arizona, which made her slightly nervous for some reason. Finally, the cardio surgeon laughed quietly and a hint of color came to her cheeks as she looked down at the chart. "Thanks."

Arizona watched her for a moment before she nodded. "I'll go get a resident to handle his discharge."

"Sure," Callie said as she clicked her pen on the chart.

Arizona hesitated for a moment. For some reason, she didn't want to leave. _Just move._ She was being an idiot, even if she was just going to revel in how beautiful and incredibly hot the cardio surgeon. _The very straight, very married, very mother-of-three-kids hot cardio surgeon,_ she reminded herself. She let out the softest of laughs, certainly not loud enough for even Callie to hear her, and turned to leave. _She's safe. Thank God, it's safe to look and enjoy. Very straight, very married, very mothery. Very safe._

"Arizona?"

She stopped in mid-step and turned back to Callie. "Yes?"

Callie just looked at her for a few too many seconds before she let out a long breath. "Did you want to get that drink? If you're free tonight, Owen can probably watch the kids."

The question threw her for a loop, both because she had basically forgotten about their agreement to go for drinks, albeit intentionally, but also because she suddenly realized that going to drinks would be pushing those boundaries she had so carefully put up around her at work. She had let her guard down when Callie had originally suggested it, and now she found herself panicking slightly at the thought. "Tonight?" Her voice was just slightly higher pitched than normal.

"If you have other plans—"

"No," Arizona quickly cut in, surprising herself that she had actually spoken. She didn't normally blurt things out before considering what she was going to say. But with Callie that seemed to be rather standard. She took a moment and let out a long breath to calm the pounding heart in her chest. "No, I can go tonight." _It's just one drink, maybe two. Two colleagues celebrating a great outcome and that's all. We'll have our drinks and then go back to being acquaintances and that's all._ "Why don't you check with your husband and let me know later. I should be able to leave at six, so any time after that is good."

The smile that came to Callie's face just made her eyes light up. "Okay, I'll let you know. We can just go to that bar across the street. You'll be home before long."

"Joe's?" Arizona laughed quietly as she quickly glanced along Callie's body, taking note of her impeccable clothing, but didn't say anything.

"What's wrong with it?"

Arizona again looked Callie up and down before her smile grew in amusement. "Tell me you have something more casual with you. I don't think anyone's ever gone into Joe's in Manolo Blanhiks before."

"What?" Her eyes shot down to her feet. "What's wrong with my shoes?"

Arizona shrugged. "Nothing, if you don't mind ruining a thousand dollar pair of shoes when someone either pukes or spills beer all over them."

"Oh," Callie said quietly before shaking her head. "I have time to go home and change before six. I'll come appropriately attired." She laughed a little. "I haven't been in a real bar in a few years so I guess I'm a little out of practice."

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you," Arizona said a little playfully before catching herself. She started to say something more but decided it was better to keep her mouth shut.

Callie also seemed to hesitate before saying anything and again a hint of color came to her caramel cheeks. Finally, she cleared her throat and bit at her lip. "I'll check with Owen and let you know. And I'll be sure to dress appropriately. So, hopefully, I'll see you later Doctor Robbins."

"Until then, Doctor Torres." Arizona didn't wait, afraid her mouth would open and something even more inappropriate would slide out. Instead, she turned on her heal and went in search of a resident to handle Riley's discharge. She resisted the urge to look back at Calliope as she went. _It's just a drink or two. That's all._ She tried really hard to ignore the part of her brain that whispered annoyingly in the background. _What a shame, Arizona. What a damned shame._

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

**No Matter of Chance**

**By AmboDriver**

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these alternative versions of characters that I adore.

A/N: Okay, now that Thin Line is done (and as an aside, I'm feeling prescient with regards to my own plane crash story), I'm back to this with a vengeance. The time away did me good, though, because I was able to really think about how I wanted to do this and even outline the whole story. I've changed a lot of my initial intentions, but my caveats in chapter 1 still hold. There will be some violence and there will be some sexy time, so it's still rated M. It's going to be a long ride, however (I think this will clock in around 60 chapters of 2 scenes each), so please be patient. Lots of ups and downs along the way, but I hope to post 2 times a week on average, so this won't take me all year to do.

Thanks for any and all reviews. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and respond to all reviews, so you'll get an extra bonus thanks from me if you leave a few words. Come on, you know you want to!

Just a reminder that this is an _If/Then_ story, so the characters are all a little different, both in temperament and in history. So, pretty much anything is possible!

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Callie poked her head into the chief's office and rapped lightly on the door. As she waited for Ellis Grey to get her head out of whatever she was working on, Callie tried hard to settle the pounding heart in her chest. It didn't matter how long she had worked for the chief or the number of times they had socialized outside of work whenever her parents were in town, Callie still lived in fear of Ellis Grey. It was why she did her best to follow what the chief wanted. She knew people thought she was a kiss ass, and maybe really she was, but she couldn't help but feel that she owed so much to the chief, more so than anyone else at the hospital. And as Mandy's recent firing had proved, it could all be taken from her in a moment. One slight, one misstep, and she could be out on her ass. Callie was determined to not have that happen to her. She would never be able to look herself in the mirror again, and worse, she'd never be able to look her mother or father in the eye either.

Finally, Chief Grey looked up and gave that smile that didn't quite seem to reach her eyes. She motioned toward the guest chairs across from her large desk. "Close the door, Torres. Please have a seat."

Callie gently shut the door and then silently folded herself into one of the seats. Whenever she found herself sitting across from Chief Grey, she flashed back to all the times she had been called to Sister Mary Louise's office for one transgression or another. If there was one thing that growing up in a Cuban household or attending an all girls' Catholic school drilled into you, it was feeling a sense of guilt in the face of authority, regardless if it was warranted or not. She also knew from all that experience as a child to sit quietly and wait for what was coming. Waiting was safer, but it was also torture. She was sure that Sister Mary Louise had known that. And it was quite clear that Ellis Grey knew it, also. Not only that, but she used it to good effect.

Finally, the chief nodded slightly and began to speak with just a hint of reproach in her voice, "Torres, I wanted to talk to you…" The chief paused as she leaned closer over her desk. "Callie," she continued, her voice softer and friendlier. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened in the ER yesterday." She sighed quietly. "I'm concerned about your husband. This isn't the first time something like this has happened at work. First the intern and now the trauma room window. He's a danger to others and he's a danger to this hospital. Is he seeing someone?"

Callie knew better than to tell the truth. The truth was that Owen had stopped seeing his therapist at Seattle Grace about three months before. At the time, he had claimed they hadn't really clicked, but Callie knew it was just hard for Owen to admit he had problems, that he was somehow broken. Owen was a military man and a trauma surgeon. He took charge, he found solutions to the impossible. And Callie knew that it killed him that no matter what he tried, there were no easy answers to his PTSD. And so he avoided it. Sadly, Callie wondered if he had picked up avoidance as his way to cope from her. She was a master at it, after all, and that mastery also meant she could see it coming a mile away. And Owen was definitely avoiding dealing, even if he wasn't very good at camouflaging it. "Yes," she said, the lie coming so easily to her lips. "I think this is a case of a few steps forward and one step back is all. He's working hard, but there's still progress to be made."

"Okay," Ellis said with a curt nod. "I supported him when he was called up to go over to Iraq and I'll support him in his recovery. For now. But he needs to keep working at it." There was a moment when her eyes seemed to lose focus before she peered again at Callie with that laser gaze that always had Callie shaking in her designer shoes. "Look, Torres, I am one of your biggest fans here. You know that. Sure, I took you under my wing at first because your mother and I are friends. But you proved to me very early on that you were an exceptional physician and a really promising surgeon and my belief in that has only grown. You are one of the best up and coming cardiothoracic surgeons in this country. No, actually I'd say you're one of the best up and coming surgeons period. You have a really bright future both as a surgeon and a teacher. I'd hate to lose you."

Callie's brow furrowed in confusion at the sudden mention of her leaving Seattle Grace, but it did not take her more than a few moments to realize the threat she was being given. "I'll do whatever I have to, whatever is needed. You've been an amazing mentor and I really love working here. I'm very fortunate and incredibly grateful."

Ellis leaned back in her chair and regarded Callie for a few long moments. "I'm glad we're in agreement. Things are undoubtedly going to be hectic around here with the upcoming merger attempt with Seattle Pres. I'd like to see you come out on top. I think you're better than Erica Hahn personally. She's not a teacher and from what I hear she's not much of an administrator either. I'd like to bring her on to our staff if this merger happens, but I don't want her running my cardio program. Don't give me a reason to make that choice."

"Of course not." Callie was both relieved that the chief wanted her to run the department and terrified at the implied threat. The chief didn't have to say that if Owen had another outburst, she'd share just as much of the blame as her husband. For better or for worse, she had promised almost five years ago, and this was one of those worse times. Sadly it had seemed that those times vastly outweighed the better times, especially since Owen last went to Iraq. And things were certainly not improving. "Is there anything else, Chief?"

"No, you can go," Ellis said, her attention already starting to drift to the paperwork on her desk.

Callie looked at her for a moment, letting out a quiet breath, before she quickly got to her feet and left the chief's office. She kept walking, all the way back to her own office, never even registering anyone else in the hallways along the way. It wasn't until she was safely behind her desk with the office door closed, blocking out the rest of the world, that she let out a tremulous breath. "Son of a bitch," she hissed to herself.

Her eyes drifted to the picture of her family that sat perched on the corner of her desk. All five of them had brilliant smiles, the perfect picture of a happy family. What a lie it all was. Callie's eyes drifted closed, but the image still burned in her brain. She had tried so hard, they both had, to make it work. But really their marriage was likely doomed from the beginning. They had gotten married for the wrong reasons, after all. _No, just one wrong reason._ But how could they have denied Allegra a mother and father to raise her? And for a while their love for their baby had been enough to turn a casual relationship into a relatively happy marriage. But in the end even that had not been enough. Having the twins hadn't helped either. And the separation of Owen's deployment to Iraq as part of the Reserves had certainly done them no good. Now the only thing holding them together was stubborn will, the hope that they were doing what was best for their small children, and downright fear of the consequences. At least that was what kept Callie around. Maybe if she and Owen talked, really talked, she'd know how he felt. "Fuck," she muttered to herself.

Her phone beeped and she looked down at the reminder she had made to confirm drinks with Arizona. "Shit," she said with a sigh of disappointment. She was going to have to cancel. She had to go home, had to find a way to speak with Owen. If he didn't see how he was not only destroying his life, but their entire family, she could probably kiss her career away. And Callie would be damned if she was going to let that happen. She hated to admit it, but if things didn't start changing, her marriage might not be able to be saved. And if that happened all she would have was her children and her career. While she loved the kids, after all what mother didn't, she needed her career. It was her identity, her sanity. She let out another sigh and looked back down to her cellphone with regret.

It only took her a few moments to send Arizona a reply message cancelling their evening but promising to reschedule. She so would have preferred to go to Joe's with the woman she was quickly starting to think of as a friend. But, no, she would go home, have dinner with her family, put the kids to bed, and then force Owen to sit down and talk. "Fuck," she repeated again as she opened her laptop, determined to get some work done before the evening from Hell. She needed that small measure of normalcy before the confrontations ahead.

* * *

><p>"So, Julia, how's that baseball player doing?" Arizona quirked her eyebrow at the redhead across the diner table. "Do you think he's going to keep his eye?"<p>

"Keep his eye yes, be able to see well enough to play again? I'm pretty skeptical."

"Damn shame," Erica said with a heavy sigh. "The Mariners were starting off so well this season, but without Harrison, they don't have shit for pitching."

The longer you were a surgeon, the less these types of cases seemed so, well, strange. And yet the talk of the town for the last day had been the broken bat splinter that went all the way to the pitcher's mound, impaling Seattle's ace pitcher and perhaps ending his career. With the surgeon responsible for saving that eye across the table from her, Arizona couldn't resist the urge to get a little insider information. "Well, it could have been worse, I guess," Arizona said as she took a sip from her glass of iced tea, feeling suddenly less enthused by this standard surgeon conversation. Normally the grosser the better, but tonight it just wasn't enough to truly distract her from the disappointment of finding out her evening of drinks with Calliope Torres had been cancelled, and by a terse text message no less. As much as she knew it was wiser to stay away from her, because of her standing rule to keep work and private life separate, she still couldn't help but be intrigued by the new facets she had seen in Callie. It was one thing when she thought Calliope Torres was a total bitch, but now that she had worked with her, had seen her more human side, she became nothing but intriguing. _Thank God she's straight or this could be really dangerous._

"Arizona?"

She blinked as she looked across the table, her eyes refocusing on her dinner companions. "Huh?"

Erica smirked at her in that way she had when she was amused and figured she had caught you at something. "You were spacing out."

Arizona hated that she had been caught. She sighed heavily. "Sorry, it's nothing."

Julia grabbed her purse and looked from her girlfriend to Arizona and back. "I'm going to go to the rest room. Talk amongst yourselves." She quickly got up from the booth and headed for the back of the diner.

Erica's chuckle was quiet. "Okay, so my bellwether just basically told me something is wrong with you. She knows I suck at reading people, but scurrying off to the bathroom is like putting it in big Broadway lights. So, what's up? And don't give me this it's nothing bullshit. You are so transparent, Robbins."

Arizona rolled her eyes at her friend. "Fine. I think I'm starting to pine for a straight girl and I'm upset that our little pseudo date got cancelled. Happy?" She closed her eyes and let out a breath. She hated to admit what she had just said even to herself and yet here she was putting it out there in front of Erica Hahn. _I'm just pathetic, really._

Erica's eyebrow nearly shot up into her hairline. "Straight girl, huh? Like really straight or like get your toaster for recruitment straight?"

"Like married with three children straight." Arizona let her head fall into her hands. "It's nothing. I'm just reacting to the fact that she's hot and not quite the bitch I thought she was. Besides I work with her and you know my rules for that."

Now Erica's eyes got incredibly wide. "Callie Torres? You have the hots for Torres?"

"I wouldn't call it the hots," Arizona said, a bit more aggravation coming out in her voice than she intended. "She's pretty and it turns out she's kind of nice. So, pretty, nice and straight plus works with me all equals a safe person to have a crush on. There, I'll call it a crush. A minor crush. Really very, very tiny." She held up her thumb and forefinger and showed how tiny it was by placing them only a few millimeters from one another. "Miniscule in fact."

Erica leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest while a sly, knowing smile came to her face. "So miniscule that you are trying to minimize it, almost deny it. Maybe it's not so miniscule after all?"

Arizona shook her head. "I'm just enjoying the view and maybe, just maybe, making a work friend. How long have you been hounding me to make some friends at work? You should be celebrating." Erica's constant bickering about the fact had been both annoying and yet slightly endearing. At least Arizona knew Erica cared about her wellbeing. As Erica all too often said, Arizona spent entirely too much time alone. A few more friends wouldn't hurt and where else was she going to make them? "And, besides, I'd think you'd want me to get to know Callie so you'd have some inside intel in case of a merger. She's your competition after all."

Erica took a sip of her water. "Well, okay, you've got me there. But, still, are you fourteen, Arizona? Crushes? Are you going to slip a note in her locker next? Why don't you just get over all your Hopkins shit and start dating, really dating. Not sleeping with half of Seattle one night at a time. Not forcing your feelings deep down so you don't get hurt again. You're fast approaching forty. It's time to grow up."

"Who's supposed to grow up?" Julia asked as she came back to the table and slid into the booth next to Erica.

"Me," Arizona admitted while pointing to herself. "Your girlfriend seems to think I need to stop being a whore and start getting into the U-Haul dyke drama scene."

"Well, Sandy was five years ago, Arizona," Julia said. "You're wasting your life being one bad lay away from a nasty venereal disease—"

"I use protection," Arizona countered, now feeling truly defensive. It was one thing to have Erica joke with her, but when they both piled on, it became obnoxious, insulting even. It was her life to lead, after all. Who were they to judge her? Just because they were seemingly in love and happy didn't mean they knew what was best for her.

Erica rolled her eyes before leaning forward a little and shrugging. "Okay, fine, but how long do you need to recover? I get it, you loved Sandy with all your little lesbian heart. She was the world to you and when her wife found out and blacklisted you from two-thirds of the surgical programs in the country as revenge, your beloved Sandy not only dumped you like a hot potato, but didn't even say goodbye when you left. I get that and it's super shitty." Erica took a long breath before she reached over to place a gentle hand on Arizona's balled up fist. "You know Sandy didn't really love you, she couldn't have if she treated you like that. She used you and she's still using you. She's nothing but a taker. And she's still taking from you, Arizona. Every day you go without being open to love is another day she's taken something from you. Don't let her win."

Arizona hated to admit Erica was right. It was something she tried to tell herself, on her better days, but then reality would always come crushing back in and she'd remember how much pain she had endured and how long she had been on automatic pilot just to get through life. Even now, there were days when she would have to put on a fake smile just to deal with her patients. Besides, did it really matter if she could get over it? She worked too much and relationships with non-surgeons just didn't work out most of the time anyway. And even if she could get over the fact that she'd been burned so badly by a co-worker, Ellis Grey had practically forbidden her from dating in the hospital. It wouldn't be good for PR, after all, if the head of pediatric surgery was seen kissing another woman in the hallways by the parents of a patient. There were still far too many people who wouldn't want a lesbian treating their child. No, while it would be nice to feel free enough to open herself to love, it just wasn't in the cards right then and it probably never would be. She could live with the hook ups. The sex was usually decent and she didn't have to invest in anyone. It was neater and the risks were less. "Look, can we just drop this? My love life or lack thereof is going to change when it's meant to change. I'm not saying I'll never fall in love again. I'm just not really in a position right now to do so, so I'm going to continue to avail myself of the beautiful ladies of Seattle, okay?"

Julia turned to Erica and put a hand on her arm, stopping Erica from launching into the rebuttal she was clearly about to spew. Erica shot Julia a sideways glance and then nodded. "It's your life; I'm just along as your ventee. And if you want to pine or crush or whatever on Callie Torres, then by all means, crush away. But when our hospitals merge and I eat her for breakfast so badly she goes whimpering off to some hospital in the far reaches of Mongolia, don't be mad at me that your eye candy is no longer there to give you happy little fantasies."

Arizona reacted to the challenge that Erica just seemed to throw down. "What makes you think you'll win? And besides, you do realize if you come to work for Ellis Grey all the little cutesy couple stuff that you two do will have to stay at least 100 meters away from the hospital property, right?"

"She's got a no-PDA radius?" Julia's voice was full of shock.

"Well it's more like a no gay PDA radius and, no, it's not official. It's just that Ellis Grey likes things to go her way and everything needs to fit in the perfect box. Gay attendings do not fit in her box. She might actually ask you both to keep it out of the hospital. Not in so many words of course. She's good at beating around the bush. But she did it to me, so I imagine she'll do it to you." It wasn't something Arizona liked, for sure, but it was just one more incentive to stay single. But, knowing Erica and Julia, there would certainly be issues if Chief Grey asked them to keep things in the closet.

"What century is she living in?" Julia blurted out loudly.

"Who knows." She didn't really believe Ellis Grey was personally that backwards. She understood that the chief was in a tough position trying to run the hospital. She didn't agree with her non-policy policy, but she understood the reasons behind it. And Arizona didn't exactly have many options to go elsewhere. As far as she knew, the blacklisting from Margaret Nelson-Klein, Chief of Staff of Maryland Shock Trauma and all around trauma god, was still alive and well. From everything Arizona had seen, Sandy's wife could hold a grudge like nobody's business and she had the power to back it up. She took a deep breath and let the aggravation this discussion had brought about dissipate. "Look, we better get going. That waitress looks like she's going to kill us if we sit here any longer. Besides, I have a date with my favorite bar stool at Sappho's." She could see Erica about to go off on her again. "Don't!"

"Fine, go get laid." Erica then looked at Julia and her face softened. "I know I'm going to tonight."

Arizona laughed quietly as she watched her friends banter with each other as they collected their coats and headed out with barely a wave goodbye. When they were gone, Arizona quickly finished her drink and then let out a long breath. Her mind's eye floated back to Callie and she shook her head, trying to chase the image out of her brain. _What the hell are you doing, Arizona? Just go find someone fun to spend the night with and forget all about her. Sex. Sex will do it._ She tossed a twenty on the table to cover her part of the tab and slid out of the booth, moving as fast as she could toward the door. Sappho's Last Stand, her favorite hunting ground for a night of fun, was only three blocks away. With any luck she'd be on her way to some hot girl's apartment in less than an hour. _Yes, sex will just have to do it. _She didn't really have anything else after all.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

**No Matter of Chance**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** Well, as I'm sitting here trying to prepare myself for the worst as the season finale looms in two days (I figure I'd rather be resigned to losing one of them and then be presently surprised if they both live), I'm enjoying the chance to play with these slightly alternate (and right now admittedly depressing) versions of Callie and Arizona. I promise, not only will they start spending more time together, but they'll get happier. Well, maybe not for a while (the girls have got some issues if you haven't noticed).

And, yes, Erica being buds with Arizona is a little strange, but she's a little different in this universe, too. And Arizona needs a confidante (since she's a little opposed to work buddies).

I'd really like to thank the few commenters out there (hint, hint readers…it's my only payment) who posted about the last chapter. I truly appreciate each and every one (and I know I owe some replies). As you can see, I'm doing a better job of updating, so help keep me enthused with a little "feed the bard", okay? The next chapter is well underway so hopefully I'll get it up this weekend if I'm not too overcome with Calzona grief (okay, fingers crossed really).

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Callie came down the stairs to find Owen sprawled on the couch, watching a baseball game. She sighed heavily and walked over to the living room, sitting down on the love seat and watching her husband for a moment. He didn't acknowledge her at first, instead staring overly hard at the TV. Finally, he sighed. "The Mariners are done without their star pitcher." She wasn't sure if he was speaking to her or not.

"Then you won't mind turning it off so we can talk."

Owen's eyes finally looked over to her and she saw trepidation storming through their blue depths. He swallowed hard and clicked the remote to turn the TV off before sitting up. "Okay, it's off."

Callie let out a long breath before speaking. "Ellis called me into her office today."

"Callie—"

"No, Owen, you don't get to explain. You lied to me. Luckily I knew that before I spoke to the chief so I wasn't taken off guard. Did you think you could hide something like that? That hospital is a rumor mill. I was bound to find out." She shook her head, feeling the sadness well up in her that her own husband felt he needed to lie to her. "You lied to me," she repeated, her voice breaking in emotion.

Owen's eyes were fixed on his hands, but she knew that guilty look a mile away. He wore it all too often these days. "I'm sorry," he finally said, his voice also cracking slightly.

"Don't be sorry, Owen. Do something about it." Callie's frustration at all of the silence, all of the denial, flared up in her. "The chief threatened my job, Owen. If you don't get help, I could be fired. This has gone on too long and I'm..." She wasn't really sure what she was feeling, to be honest.

Tears were now filling Owen's eyes. "Are you telling me you want a divorce?" The words were barely a whisper.

Callie deflated when she heard the fear in his voice. Part of her did want a divorce, it was hard to deny. She was sick of all the distance, all the secrets. But she had children to think of, children that adored their father and who would be better off growing up with both of them around as much as possible, not being shifted back and forth from one home to the other. There was some hope of saving this, as long as they could iron out the problems in their marriage. But if they couldn't, she wouldn't subject her children to years of this tension and pain. If they could, however, staying together was the most important thing they could do for their family. But only if they could. "I want us to fix this. We owe that to each other, but most importantly we owe that to our kids. But first, you need help. Tomorrow I want you to find a therapist and set up an appointment. Once you get going with that and when your therapist says you're ready, we'll go to marriage counseling. And from this moment on, there will be no more lies, okay?"

Owen nodded, his head falling in defeat. "No more lies. And I already made an appointment at the VA for tomorrow after work. I called the second I left the chief's office. You'll need to get the kids from daycare."

Callie sighed in relief. It was so new to feel like she wasn't pulling teeth to get Owen to take a step forward. Having Ellis Grey around to scare the crap out of him was probably a good thing when it came to motivating her stubborn and proud husband. "Yeah, no problem. Can you get them to daycare in the morning though? I don't have to be in until ten and I want to take care of a few things."

"Sure." He stood up and shifted on his feet awkwardly. "Um, I want to work out, so I'll be downstairs."

Callie nodded and watched him head for the basement. _Still fighting his demons and getting support from his buddies instead of me._ She sighed heavily at the thought of all the work ahead of them. But at the very least she had to understand how important that support from those who had been with him in Iraq was. They could understand what he was going through and she was grateful for them, even if she was a little envious of the bond he had with his war buddies. But if he could open up to them, there was a glimmer of hope that he would open up to her someday. She understood it was hard on him. But it was also hard when the one person you were supposed to lean on pushed you away. _It's not like I have a huge support system. It'd be nice to feel that support and love from him again._

She fished the phone out of her pocket and scrolled down the contacts in her phone list. She wanted someone on her side in all this, but who could she turn to? Addison was the mostly likely choice, but she had to focus on the crazy mess her life had plummeted into in the last few days. Mandy was busy scrambling to find a job at a hospital that was not likely to be gobbled up by the Ellis Grey juggernaut. Callie sighed as she realized how few choices she really had. She'd been in Seattle for eight years and had only made a few friends. It was really and truly sad.

She was about to give up and go climb into bed with this month's medical journals when her eyes fell on the newest addition to her contacts list. _Arizona Robbins._ She smiled as she silently read the name. _She was supportive of me, really supportive. Well once she got over that bullshit caution she's always touting. _Callie needed some support right now, needed someone to listen to her, truly listen, and not judge. She wasn't sure if Arizona would do the trick, but she certainly didn't have many other options. And besides, they owed one another an outing to celebrate Riley's recovery. _So what if it's not drinks. If we hit it off, we can do drinks later. As friends. If not, I'll get a meal out of it._ She started a text message, feeling just a hint of excitement at seeing the blonde soon. She needed a new friend and the more she thought about it, the more she felt that this could work. With a smile, she hit send and placed the phone back into her pocket, heading into the kitchen to clean up before bed.

* * *

><p>"Your usual?"<p>

Arizona nodded to Betsy, the weekday bartender at Sappho's. Not that it really mattered whether it was Betsy or her weekend counterpart, Dee. They both knew her all too well. Arizona seemed to be in here every night she didn't have to work. Maybe that was why, as she glanced around at the rather sparse crowd, she realized that she had slept with every available woman in the place. _And probably more than half of the unavailable ones, too._

When the vodka and cranberry was placed in front of her, she took a long sip from the straw and closed her eyes, savoring the gentle burn of the alcohol in her throat. She tried not to think too much about how many times she had been right here before, sitting on this same stool, drinking this same drink. It wasn't something she was proud of, in fact she hated herself for it, and yet she was drawn back here, over and over, trying to find something that would fill up the emptiness in her. And as much as she tried, she knew it never would. It didn't matter how hot the woman was or how amazing the sex turned out to be, it could never fill up that void. Sandy had dug her way deep inside Arizona while they were together. And when it was over, she had gutted Arizona so totally that void might never be filled.

Arizona shook her head, chasing away the memories of the one love in her life and the horrible soul-crushing pain that had followed in the wake of realizing it had all been a lie. Still, she had no idea how to fix this, fix herself, and if she were being truly honest with herself, she was afraid of what it would mean. Fixing herself would mean opening up to not only the possibility of love, but to the possibility of pain. She'd had her fair share of that in her life between her brother's death and Sandy. She just wasn't sure she could do it again. "You're weak," she whispered to herself, disappointed once again in her inability to commit to a plan to move forward or a decision that her life was just hunky dory the way it was. It was the inability to choose a path, to get out of this rut, that was the worst. _Dad would be so ashamed if he could see you sitting here, frozen in fear. Some Marine's daughter you turned out to be._

Arizona placed her drink down and turned on her barstool, once again scanning the crowd, trying to forget her self-recriminations. She smirked just a tad when the fantasy of finding Calliope in the crowd flashed through her brain. _As if. She wouldn't be caught dead here. She's just too perfect, and way too straight, to be here. Keep dreaming, Arizona._ Instead, her eyes focused on a woman that was just sitting down by herself at a small table over by the dance floor. She turned back to Betsy to get her attention. "That woman over by the DJ. Do you know her?"

Betsy studied the woman for a moment and then shrugged. "Never seen her before." Her lips then slid into a sly smile. "There you go, Robbins. Fresh meat for you to taste."

Arizona cringed at Betsy's words. It was bad enough that she wasn't proud of her own life, but to have others joking about her philandering ways was tough. It made her feel dirty, but really it was just the truth. _I'm a fucking world class surgeon. I shouldn't be prowling in a bar for dates. _And yet she was, day in and day out. She sighed as she drained her drink, determined to get up and walk out. It had been far too long and it was just time to make a change.

But then as she started to walk by the dance floor, the new woman looked up at her and smiled. She was far from the most beautiful woman in the place, but her dark eyes danced with amusement and her smile was sweet with just a hint of mischief to it. Arizona smiled back, feeling herself drawn to the attention this woman was giving her. _She's not as beautiful as Callie, but those eyes are almost the same._ The thought made Arizona stop in her tracks and shake her head, turning away from the woman and walking quickly from the bar.

Only when she was outside and the light refreshing mist of a warmer than normal winter evening touched her face did she allow herself to stop and breathe. She looked around at the women gathered under the canopy outside the bar, most smoking or obviously waiting on someone. One couple was playing tonsil hockey off to the side and another two women were coming back from the side alley, adjusting their clothes from an obvious quickie in the dark. It was the first time in a long time that she had just looked around at the women who frequented her only hangout. _God, most of them are so young._ She should have known, since she'd slept with a number of them, but it wasn't until that moment that she realized she was one of the older women there. _Where did the last five years go?_

_It's time to grow up, Arizona. _She needed to figure out how to do that, but she knew she needed to get over how she had been hurt and try to find something healthier. That was the only way to do this, but she was at a loss as to a plan of attack. She wasn't one for therapy, that was for sure. But maybe just taking it one day at a time would do the trick. She needed to try before another five, ten, or even twenty years flashed by her and she had nothing to look back on but regret.

"Hey, Arizona," a woman came up behind her, running a hand over her back as she walked around to face her. "You're looking good tonight."

Arizona couldn't help but smile at Rachel. They'd always been friendly, sharing some fun flirtations, even letting that lead to a night together once in a while. She was safe, she was fun, and she was very hot. "Hey, haven't seen you around lately."

"I was seeing someone. But we broke up last week." Rachel ran a finger up and down Arizona's arm. "I came tonight to see if you were here. I need some help."

"Help?" Arizona felt a lump tighten her throat and the familiar tickle in her stomach of desire.

Rachel bit at her lip playfully. "Come on, Arizona. I need to get Becca out of my head. You know, kind of wash her away."

"Rachel, I..." Arizona sighed as she looked at the other woman. She was just about to give in, new promises of a change be damned, when her phone vibrated in her pocket. "Excuse me," she said as she pulled it out. She looked at the screen and an unbidden smile came to her lips as she saw that it was a text message from Callie.

_It's not drinks, but how about breakfast tomorrow? _

Arizona's smile spread as she felt that tickle of desire change into a flock of excited butterflies flapping around in her stomach. She looked back up at Rachel. "I'm sorry, not tonight. I've got to be up early in the morning."

Arizona didn't wait for a response as she turned on her heel and started to walk back toward her car. As she did she sent back an answer. _Breakfast sounds wonderful. How about the Bellevue Diner? Is 8 okay?_

She hit send and found herself being impatient about the answer. It only took a moment before her phone vibrated in her hand and Callie's text popped up. _See you there :)_

Arizona's stomach stirred again with a nervous excitement that caused her to pause beside her car and sigh. _It's just a crush, Arizona. And maybe she turns out to be a friend. Just a crush, just an incredibly beautiful, stunning crush. S_he couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing Calliope Torres in the morning. It would certainly make the day start off right.

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

**No Matter of Chance**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** Well, while counting the hours to the finale, I figured I better finish this chapter before potentially being thrown into vast amounts of depression (just in case people read this before seeing the show I won't say how my feelings ended up going, but I figure most of you know one way or the other).

Here's the longest chapter yet with a very long Calzona scene that should hopefully get the ball rolling a little. It's got a long way to roll of course, but there's forward motion. Hope you enjoy it. It was fun to write.

And as always I do love the comments and reviews. Feel free to leave some, even if it's critical (I can take it) or drop me a private message. I'm not begging, mind you, but it's always nice to hear what people think.

With any luck I'll have another chapter up Sunday or Monday, but no super promises. Although I feel like I'm in a serious writing mood and it's coming rather easily when I have time, so might as well take advantage of it!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Arizona opened her apartment door to get the paper and found the new head of plastics standing in the hallway with a woman in a business suit. Arizona's brow furrowed and she shook her head. _What the hell? It's barely seven am. _

Dr. Sloan turned toward her and smiled. "Dr. Robbins, right?"

Arizona pulled the robe tighter around her, feeling somehow exposed by being caught in her pajamas. "Dr. Sloan," she greeted him noncommittally.

A rakish grin broke out on his perfectly chiseled face. "You live here, huh? I'm looking at this unit. The Archfield is already a little tiring."

Arizona felt a moment of panic hit at the thought of this barely known colleague moving in to the realm of her private life. How could she possible keep work and home separate when work lived right across the hall? "It's not bad," she said, her voice sounding strained to her ears, even as she tried to sound both unconcerned and slightly off-putting. "There are nicer places," she added quickly in an attempt to dissuade him.

Dr. Sloan turned to the woman in the suit. "Maryann, will you excuse us for a moment? I'll be right in." The woman nodded and opened the door to the unit before quickly disappearing inside. Once she was gone, Mark said, "Sorry if we surprised you. It wasn't easy to find a realtor who could work around my hours. Getting settled at work is taking up a lot of my time." He regarded her for a moment before asking, "So, it's a nice building?"

Arizona realized that putting down the building would just make it suspicious. "I wouldn't live here if it weren't. And of course you can't beat the location." She couldn't really believe she was standing here, selling the building to another surgeon, but then she realized there was something about him that drew her in and made her feel more comfortable than any of the male surgeons she'd worked with at Seattle Grace. "It's nice to be across the street when you're on call. It's less than ten minutes and you're at work."

"That is the big selling part," he added. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Since we might be neighbors, do you think we could use first names? I'd prefer if you called me Mark, at least outside of work."

"Okay, Mark, then feel free to call me Arizona. I don't go by Ari or Zona. And unless you're my rather charming but sometimes incredibly annoying childhood friend, you don't get to change the name to any town or state just for kicks." She hated nicknames. She had spent her entire childhood scrapping on the playground because of her name. Now she was rather proud of it and the legacy it harkened back to.

"Okay," he said slowly. "Arizona it is then." He leaned up against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "This is going to sound like I'm hitting on you, but trust me I totally am not doing that. I'm sort of involved, really. Well it's complicated, but I want to be involved and that's all that matters. So definitely not hitting on you as that would be rather counterproductive to the whole relationship pursuing business."

She had heard the rumors about Mark having a history with Addison. There was even talk that he might be her baby's father. But still until he told her, she would pretend she was clueless. If there was one thing Arizona was not much of a fan of, it was the Seattle Grace rumor mill. Admitting she had heard this particular rumor, even if she couldn't avoid it when the nurses in the OR nattered on about it, would be actively participating in it. "That's nice. Relationships are nice." _At least for other people._

Just a hint of a smile touched the corner of his lips. "Yes, well, they are. And that's what I was curious about, what with my non-hitting-on-you question. I notice you aren't wearing a ring, but I know that doesn't always mean anything. But you don't strike me as the married type. So, are you? Married that is or for that matter in a relationship?" He paused and then quickly held up his hand to stop her from answering. "I'm sorry, that's probably too personal."

"I'm not." She smirked at him. "But that doesn't mean things will always be quiet at my place, if that's why you're asking. So, if you aren't a fan of the occasional wild and crazy sex night across the hall, you might want to look someplace else. Did you check the unit on the second floor that's available?" Although there was something strangely likeable about Mark, she would really prefer him not to live right across the hall. _Although it would be another incentive to clean up my act, that's for sure._

Mark's laughter was light. "I can handle loud sex. Who knows, maybe you'll hear the same from me, that is assuming I move in here. I just wanted to know if by moving in here, again assuming that I do, I'd have a chance to maybe be your knight in shining armor. You know, hold your spare key for lockouts or unclog your sink."

"I keep a spare key at work and I'm a wiz with a pipe wrench." Arizona gave him another smirk.

"Okay, well then maybe I can at least loan you an egg or two when you need it."

"If I ever come to ask you for an egg, just call 911, because the building will be burning down in the next five minutes. But I might come asking for a beer or six at some point." She watched him for a minute and then finally nodded. "But I appreciate the sentiment. I don't need saving." She motioned toward the apartment he was considering. "You better get back to the apartment hunting."

"Yeah, you're right. Glad I ran into you this morning Arizona."

"You sure you're not flirting, because you're not really my type if you are." The words were out of her mouth before she could consider them.

Mark's laughter was louder this time. "I don't suppose I am." With another quick grin he rolled off the wall and walked into the apartment, leaving Arizona alone in the hall.

Arizona's brow furrowed and a slight moment of panic ran through her. _What the hell does that mean?_ Then she shook her head at such a stupid reaction. "Not like half the hospital doesn't know." The medical community was rather close knit and somewhat gossipy, especially among the upper echelon of hospitals. Anyone who was at Hopkins when she was blacklisted surely knew why and there was nothing stopping them from telling the story as they went to new hospitals. It shouldn't be surprising that a doctor coming from the East Coast might know she was gay since she was becoming more and more renowned in her field and Sandy's wife was still likely badmouthing her whenever she could. But still, if he was going to move in across the hall and try to be chummy, she was going to have to make sure he could keep discussions of her private life out of the hospital. "Not like he doesn't have his own open secrets to deal with," she whispered to herself before finally grabbing her paper and looking at her watch. "Shit, it's getting late." She was supposed to be at the Bellevue in 45 minutes. She didn't want to be late, after all. Just the thought of a chance to spend some time getting to know Calliope Torres got her motivated to move faster. She didn't want to keep her waiting.

* * *

><p>"Sorry, I'm late," Callie said as she approached the table where Arizona was sitting. "Allegra couldn't decide what she wanted to wear and Owen is hopeless with that." She slid into the booth across from the blonde and smiled broadly, grabbing for the coffee carafe that was already awaiting her and pouring dark black coffee into the mug that was at her place setting. "You didn't order without me, did you?"<p>

Arizona's smile in return was bright and brought out her dimples. "Just the hot chocolate," she said as she held up her mug. "I eat here a lot, so I know what I want." Her head nodded to Callie's mug. "I always see you with that travel mug, so I guessed you'd want some coffee."

Callie sighed as she took a sip of the deep rich roast. "That's good. Thank you. So, since this is your hangout, what's good?" Callie continued to watch Arizona, feeling lighter just by being in the other woman's presence. When Arizona smiled, like she was now, Callie felt there was someone who was seeing her, truly seeing her for the first time in a long time, and that the other woman liked the person that she saw. It was strange how often she had been in a meeting with the pediatric chief and had never seen this sunnier side. In those meetings it was all serious business, but then the artificial lung had worked for Riley and Arizona had broken out in that amazing smile and hugged her. It was like a switch had been flipped.

"I usually get pancakes or waffles, but Erica swears by the omelets."

Callie's eyebrow shut up at the name Arizona had so blithely dropped. "Erica?"

Arizona's eyes went wide in surprise. "Um, well, don't hold it against me, okay? But I'm kind of friends with Erica Hahn."

Callie felt herself close off from Arizona suddenly. If there was one person she was wary of right now it was Erica Hahn. She was the only person between Callie and the possibility of permanently leading the cardio department. "If you're spying on me, you're doing a shitty job of it."

Arizona's eyes went from surprise to hurt. "No. I'm so not spying on you. Erica and I have known each other for a few years now. She was one of the first friends I made in Seattle."

Callie shook her head, not wanting to believe Arizona. She started to get up from her seat. _I should have known she was too good to be true._ As she turned to collect her purse and coat, she looked over at Arizona. "You can tell Erica Hahn you didn't learn anything about me."

As she turned to leave, she heard Arizona stand behind her and then felt her hand on her shoulder. "Wait, please. I swear to you I'm not going to feed Erica any information."

Arizona lightly squeezed her shoulder and Callie felt a well of emotion pass through her. She suddenly wanted to believe her, wanted to trust the sincerity in Arizona's voice, but it was hard. Her whole career she'd had to worry about someone calling her bluff, even when there was no bluff to call. So many people whispered behind her back that she didn't deserve her position and she sometimes even doubted it herself. The whispers were hard to ignore but the self-doubt could be crushing. And, really, would it be much of a stretch to think Arizona was one of those people? After all, until Riley's case, Callie had gotten little but cold stares and the occasional eye roll from the pediatric surgeon. But now as Callie turned to look back at Arizona, seeing the concern and hurt in her impossibly blue eyes, Callie's resolve and questions melted away. How could she doubt someone who so obviously wanted to care? "I believe you," Callie whispered.

Arizona's hand remained on her shoulder as the blonde's smile grew and two perfect dimples appeared. "Thank you." When she finally did remove hand there was an obvious reluctance and a hint of color tinted her pale cheeks. "Um, well, shall we order?"

Callie nodded and then motioned to the waitress as she sat. They gave their orders—eggs benedict for Callie and pancakes with extra bacon for Arizona—before sitting quietly for a moment staring into their respective mugs. Callie felt awkward and she couldn't figure out why. She was normally good at small talk thanks to years of practice at her parents' social events, but now she was at a loss for words.

Finally, Arizona broke the silence. She held up her mug and regarded it. "It's not champagne, tequila, or even a really good microbrew, but shall we say a toast to a job well done?"

Callie's smile came easily to her lips now that she could follow Arizona's lead. Riley's case was something they could be proud of. Well, truly it was something Callie could be proud of since it was her treatment plan that got the young boy off the transplant list and back to a relatively normal life. But still the fact that they had worked together to better, and very likely downright save, Riley's life, and they had found a possible new treatment regimen for cases like his in the process, was truly a huge victory. "To Riley and his artificial lung. And to hopefully using this to help other kids in the future."

Arizona clunked her mug against Callie's before sipping from it. The smile in her eyes continued to peer over the edge. When she put the mug down she leaned back a little more in the booth and said, "Thanks again for pushing me on this. I hope this won't be the last time."

Callie chuckled. "That I push you?"

"And that we get to work together." Arizona's eyes dropped to the table for a moment before they rose again to pin Callie. "I'd like to think we've broken the ice somewhat, both professionally and personally."

Callie felt her stomach tighten momentarily. It had never been easy for her to make friends, but she needed them now more than ever. Still, trusting someone she barely knew was terrifying. But as she considered the sincere blue eyes watching her from across the table, she found herself willing to take that leap with Arizona. There was just something about her that was making Callie feel more and more comfortable as they spent more time together. "I'd like that very much. I could use a new friend." The words were out before Callie could consider if she was truly ready to open that door.

Arizona sat up straighter, her brow furrowing with concern. "I get that we barely know one another, but I'm a good listener. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have, I protect fiercely. And don't worry, I don't gossip either. So, if you want an ear, I'm available. And sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you barely know. You know, if you want to."

"Have you…" Callie stopped as the waitress brought over their food. She was glad for the chance to consider the question she was going to ask. It was hard to know what information was out there about her or her family, and part of her was terrified to ask. Then again, if she wanted to use Arizona as a sounding board—and she realized she really did—she needed to know what was being said and what Arizona knew, whether true or not. After the waitress left, she took a deep breath and asked, "Have you heard any rumors about me or Owen? I'm just curious what's going around about us."

Arizona didn't look up as she doused her pancakes in entirely too much syrup. "I don't gossip, but it's sometimes impossible to avoid hearing it." She picked up her fork and knife before looking up. Her blue eyes seemed softer somehow. "Do you really want to know?"

_Do I?_ Arizona's question hit her where her biggest insecurities hid. And if anyone had insecurities, Callie was well aware she was near the top of the list. _What rumors could there be? Surely Owen's two meltdowns and the whispers about why I am where I am, but could there be something else?_ Callie took a moment to really consider Arizona and she didn't notice any judgment or condemnation on her face. In fact, there was such a genuine empathy in her eyes—not the put-on empathy medical students learned early on, but a true from-the-heart empathy—that Callie felt immediately at ease. "I do."

Arizona nodded as she took a moment to slice off a piece of pancake and chew it thoughtfully. After she swallowed, she nodded slightly to herself as if deciding that she had found what to say. "Of course, the latest talk is your husband punching the window in the ER. I had one of my fourth years ask me if I can adjust her schedule so her ER rotations don't coincide with his work schedule, because she's afraid."

Callie's initial reaction was to make excuses, but since the whole hospital likely knew, there wasn't really a point. "And the intern last year probably doesn't help," Callie added before Arizona could mention it. "I don't blame her, but he's getting help. I think he'll continue to approve. The window incident really recommitted him to getting more help."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Callie took a deep breath. "Anything else?"

"You're really sure you want to know?"

Callie sighed, knowing that question meant there was more and it was likely about her. "Yes."

Arizona cringed slightly. "There are a few theories about why the chief took you under her wing and why you got picked to be cardio chief."

"Acting Chief," Callie added defensively.

"Acting Chief," Arizona conceded.

Callie took a breath. She knew there were theories and whispers, but she had never managed to get specifics out of anyone. Her imagination tripped off, worried about how nefarious the rumors were. But she wanted to act like it was no concern or old news, so she focused on cutting into her breakfast. "So, what are the theories nowadays?"

"That your father bought off the chief or that he has something on her." Arizona paused and Callie glanced up to see the other woman squirm in her seat. "I also just heard that some people think your father was having an affair with her."

Callie burst out in laughter at the thought of her father, who was probably the most genuinely moral person she had ever met, having an affair with Ellis Grey, whose morality was sometimes questionable but who would probably never risk having an affair and having someone find out. It took her a moment to get the laughter under control. "Sorry, but that last one is really ridiculous. The first two aren't correct either, but the thought of my father and the chief is just something that's beyond belief." She took a breath to really squelch the laughter. "The truth is much more boring. Chief Grey and my mother were roommates at Harvard. When I started medical school, my mother asked the chief to let me shadow her a few times during breaks. Then when I applied for residencies, I was accepted here and it's one of the top programs in the country. And it's certainly the top 5 program that's farthest from home. The chief swears she recused herself from voting on my packet. But she still looked out for me over the years. I'm not denying I got a leg up because of my family, but I think I've proven myself over the years, too. And granted I've been lucky with Burke leaving. See, it's just a boring story."

Arizona's smile was sweet. "And I know for a fact the chief asked a number of us who we thought should take over for Burke until a full search could be undertaken."

Callie couldn't help but smile back. "And what was your vote?"

"I voted for Rogers."

"Rogers? He's a horrible manager, hated by most of the residents, and he's only a competent surgeon."

Arizona shrugged. "You aren't even an ACS fellow, you had just finished your specialty boards, and quite frankly, you seemed like a spoiled, stuck up, cardio god bitch most of the time." Arizona snorted out a quick laugh that softened her assessment. "How was I to know that appearances could be deceiving?"

Callie wasn't sure if she should be offended or not. "And if you had to vote now?"

Arizona's smile spread broadly across her face. "I'd vote for you."

"Glad to hear it," Callie said, her own smile coming quickly to her lips. "Any other rumors I need to know?"

Arizona pursed her lips as she thought. "Nope."

"Good," Callie said with an overly dramatic sigh of relief. She then skewered another piece of her breakfast with her fork and popped it in her mouth, chewing around a smile she couldn't keep off her face.

They spent the next few minutes making small talk about surgeries they had coming up and some of their colleagues as they ate their food. Callie made a point of teasing Arizona about her horrific breakfast choice and even said she'd clear her schedule for a little artery cleaning later if Arizona was game. Arizona declined with that amazingly light laugh before asking Callie about her kids, which made Callie smile proudly as she prattled on about the lights of her life. All in all, it was a lovely discussion among burgeoning friends and Callie was both relieved and happy that there was an ease between them. She was sure that this was the beginning of a good friendship.

When they were finished and the waitress had cleared the table, Callie quickly grabbed the check before Arizona could get her hands on it. "I invited you, so it's my treat."

Arizona seemed like she was going to argue, but then she nodded. "I'll get the next one."

"That's a deal."

Callie placed her credit card on top the check and then looked back across the table at Arizona. She felt a slight nervousness in her stomach as she found those blue eyes just intently staring back at her. Suddenly, Callie had to drop her eyes and she played with the mug in front of her. She wasn't sure what to say at this point and it made her incredibly uncomfortable.

The silence stretched on until after the waitress picked up her credit card. Finally, Arizona cleared her throat and Callie's eyes rose out of reflex. "Um, so next one, right? Do you want to get drinks like we originally planned? I'm not sure of your schedule."

Callie frowned and shook her head. "I can't tonight. Owen has a therapy appointment and I have to get the kids." A thought struck her then. "We could meet for lunch if you have time."

Arizona smiled quickly. "I've got a slow schedule today, assuming nothing comes in. I don't have any surgeries until two, actually. Does that work?"

"It does. Maybe we could even skip the cafeteria and go someplace that's not likely to give us food poisoning." Callie's mood rose as she thought about having a nice lunch planned with Arizona and away from the hospital to look forward to for the remainder of the morning. "I can probably get away around noon."

"That sounds wonderful, really wonderful."

"Good," Callie said as the waitress came over to drop off the bill and her card. She took a second to calculate a generous tip and signed the slip of paper with a flourish. After safely tucking her platinum card back in her wallet she looked back at Arizona. "So, I guess we should get going then. I've got a few patients to check on."

There was a shadow of regret in Arizona's eyes. "Yeah, me too. But I'll see you at noon, then. We can just go over to the Trattoria or hit the sandwich shop down the street." There was the slightest of cringes as Arizona offered the second choice.

"I'm not such a big sandwich fan."

Arizona smiled with a slight breath of relief. "Me neither. So, Italian then?"

"Italian sounds wonderful. I'll meet you in the lobby." Callie hesitated because she really didn't want to get up and go to work. Not because she didn't want to go to work, per se, but she was just reluctant to leave this newfound friendship. If she could, she would suggest they just sit there and drink coffee and talk all morning. But they both had jobs and patients that needed attending to.

Arizona for her part also wasn't moving. They then both looked at each other and laughed as they both sprang into motion, gathering their things and standing. They got on their coats and then looked at each other. Arizona motioned with her hand for Callie to precede her through the diner.

They were barely two steps away from the table when Callie felt a hand in the small of her back, sending a bolt of heat up her spine. It only stayed there for a second and Callie looked back over her shoulder to find a blushing Arizona suddenly falling another step behind and looking down at the floor.

Callie thought about saying something, but then she remembered the moment she felt the hand on her back and she herself felt a slight flush to her own face. "I'll see you at lunch," Callie said before she quickened her step, making it out of the diner well before Arizona. She was in her T-Bird before Arizona had even left the diner. Callie quickly threw it into reverse, and drove out of the parking lot. It wasn't until she was at the first stoplight that she stopped to take a breath. "What the fuck?"

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** So, have we all processed the finale? Since I basically wrote the whole airplane crash story before Shonda did, I'm going to resist my urge to write a follow up to the finale since it would be way too similar to Thin Line. So, that means I can continue to focus on this story. See, aren't you all lucky?

Glad you guys liked their breakfast. This chapter covers their post-Callie-minor-freak-out lunch. But first a little hint at how Callie and Owen's relationship was before it went down the tubes, plus some Addison time. Hope you enjoy it. It sure is longer than I had planned. When I started this story I figured each chapter would be two relatively short scenes. But I just can't help writing long. Hope it's not too boring!

And, as always, thanks for the comments. They keep me motivated and put a much-needed smile on my face.

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Callie pinched at her nose and closed her eyes. After an hour of going over staffing and budget figures, she was starting to tire. She laughed dryly as she thought back to her discussion with Arizona that morning. "And she thought Rogers could handle this. That little man's head would explode from the weight of it all." She laughed a little more at the image.

But then her mind returned to breakfast and the strange feeling she'd had as they left the diner and felt Arizona's hand on the small of her back. Callie really wasn't used to touchy-feely people as friends. Sure, the occasional touch on a forearm to emphasize a point was one thing, maybe even a hug on a special occasion, but now her interactions with Arizona were moving beyond that general boundary. First when Arizona hugged her in Riley's room, and then at the diner. Both times Callie had been surprised, both by the intimate nature from someone she barely knew as well as the reaction it brought about.

Callie shook her head to try to chase away the thoughts. "She's a pediatric surgeon. That practically requires someone who's touchy-feely. I'll just have to get used to it." After all, she already knew she wanted to continue to get to know Arizona, and if that meant varying her normal personal distance preferences, then she'd have to adjust. Besides, the thought of keeping Arizona at an arm's distance just seemed so wrong. It would be like caging a beautiful wild animal just to keep it around. Callie then shrugged with a light smile. "Got to admit, it is a nice change of pace."

Just then the door to her office opened and Owen's head popped in. "Busy?"

She sat up straight, feeling a familiar tension that often intruded when dealing with her husband lately. She glanced at the time on her computer and nodded. "Sure. I'm almost done with my call schedule. I can give you a few minutes."

Owen smiled as he walked over to her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He then leaned up against her desk. "I need to leave a little before six for my therapy appointment. I'm not sure when I'll be home, so don't wait up. I might meet up with an old friend that lives over that way, but I haven't heard back from him for sure. If that's okay."

She nodded. "Yeah, sure." Since he wouldn't be home before the children went to bed even if he came straight home, she didn't really care if he stayed out until the wee hours. In fact, she was a little relieved to think she could have an evening of peace without the tension of walking on egg shells around him.

"Thanks. I gave my mother the head's up in case you can't get to daycare before it closes. Just let her know and she'll spring the kidlets from their horrible imprisonment of naps and playing."

Callie couldn't help but smile at their inside joke. Allegra had so hated daycare when she was in her terrible twos that they had started calling it prison as a joke. Unfortunately, their daughter had picked up the term and told Chief Grey that was where she was headed one morning as they passed her in the halls. Luckily the chief just laughed, which saved Callie from being mortified, but it had still been a little awkward. "No problem," she answered. "I doubt it'll run long. Well as long as Yang doesn't need to be put in a time out."

Owen sat up a little straighter and seemed strangely more interested in what they were talking about. "Yang is taking the lead?"

Callie looked at him for a second, trying to read his facial expression. _He was talking with her when he punched the window. Maybe he's mad at her about something or wants to stop by before the surgery to apologize._ She nodded then. "Yeah." She tapped the pile of medical journals sitting on her desk. "I have my reading materials ready."

When their eyes met for a moment, Callie would have sworn she saw some guilt in them, but then he shook his head and laughed. "Must be nice to have a brilliant fifth year you barely need to supervise."

"It's one of the perks of always getting the best and the brightest." She smiled up at him, relishing in their banter. It had been a long time since they had been able to enjoy one another like this.

"Yeah, yeah," he said by way of jokingly dismissing her bragging. "It's not just cardio that gets the top notch residents. I've had a few over the years."

"You have Kepner now," Callie replied with a lift of one eyebrow.

"Dr. Kepner is a fine surgeon." He then laughed and shook his head. "Okay, she's not Yang."

"No one is Yang," Callie added and watched as her husband seemed to sigh quietly. It was a strange reaction from him, but perhaps he was just admitting defeat in their playful resident rivalry.

Just the smallest hint of a smile came to the corner of his mouth before he shook his head and looked down at her. "Can I have your keys? You know swapping cars would be easier if you'd just give me a copy."

Callie laughed as she reached into the pocket of her lab coat and pulled out the keys. It was one of their oldest arguments, but she would be damned if she'd give him or anyone free rein to her car. Besides it wasn't like he didn't have his own dream car. What did he need the keys to her T-Bird when he had that and the SUV at the ready? Even if there were days like this one where they needed to swap cars in order to get the kids somewhere. She growled slightly, even if it was purely for fun. "You take care of her."

"Like I would dare do anything else. Sometimes I think you love that car more than you love me."

Callie laughed, although it felt a little forced. "Yeah, well, she does what I want and doesn't give me any shit."

"Yeah, well, who said marriage was supposed to be easy?" He smiled but then his expression became more serious. "Do you want to get some lunch today? I've got about an hour I can spare. It's been a while since we've had lunch."

Callie could tell that he was trying a little too hard, and she was touched by it, so much so that she was tempted to say yes, but then she thought about her lunch plans with Arizona and she shook her head. "I didn't get all my errands done this morning, so I need to finish up at lunch. I'd rather not drag the kids around this evening. Besides, they'll be hungry and cranky probably the second I get them in the car." The lie came easily enough since most of it was true, if you considered lunch with Arizona to be an errand, which of course it wasn't.

A moment of relief flashed across Owen's features before he schooled them back into his normal serious expression. "No problem." He leaned down to give her another kiss. "I'll see you later."

"See you later."

Callie sighed as he left. There was really something wrong with the fact she would rather have lunch with a woman she barely knew than with her husband. _Arizona is new and interesting. And Owen is always there to spend time with. That's all._

As she sat there it occurred to her that she couldn't risk meeting Arizona in the lobby as planned. If Owen saw or word got out that they left together, he would know she had lied. She quickly pulled out her phone to send off a text message suggesting they meet at the restaurant so she could handle something beforehand. Actually that wasn't a lie, because she could swing by the dry cleaners and pick up her latest order, since it was on the way.

Callie's phone buzzed in her hand and the reply text message from Arizona came through. _Not a problem. I'll see you at noon at the Trot. Let me know if plans change. Looking forward to it._ The reply brought a big smile to Callie's face.

She bit at her lip to stop the smile and get herself back into a work frame of mind as she turned off her phone and turned back toward the computer. Just as she finished the call schedule and submitted it to the hospital calendar application, there was a knock at her door. "Fucking Grand Central," she muttered with a quiet chuckle. She looked over at the door and called out, "Come in."

Addison opened the door and stood in the doorway. "You got a few minutes?"

Callie looked at the clock. She needed to leave in twenty minutes to meet Arizona on time. "I can give you ten."

"Perfect." Addison smiled albeit sadly as she walked over and eased herself into one of Callie's guest chairs. "You okay?" she asked with concern. "I heard you got called to the principal's office yesterday."

Callie chuckled at the image of Ellis Grey as a principal. "Yes, I got called in. Seems that if Owen doesn't shape up, we both will have to ship out."

"Really? That's so wrong."

"Yup, very." Callie shrugged. "Should I have expected anything else?"

"Sadly, no," Addison said with a nod of agreement. She then fell silent and picked at her skirt.

"What's going on with you? Have you had a chance to really talk to Derek?"

Addison's blue eyes looked up at her with sadness. "He contacted a lawyer to start the divorce process. He even offered to move out but he loves that place. He built it and I hate being that far out of town." She shook her head. "There's no way this can be saved and to be honest I don't want it to. In fact, I'm relieved."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Even if you are relieved, it's still really tragic when a marriage ends, whatever the reason. What about Sloan?"

Addison perked up slightly. "He's looking for an apartment and he really seems committed to being in this baby's life. And in mine. He even asked me to move in with him."

"Oh?" Callie found it strangely fascinating to watch this all play out. Pat of her understood that she was looking for a guinea pig, someone to pave the way from seemingly perfect marriage to admitting it just wasn't working and never really could. While she didn't want her marriage to fail—and as long as Owen continued to make progress she didn't see that happening—it was still a relief in some respects to have someone who was going through something similar. Just in case. "What did you say?"

"I haven't said anything. I need time to think before jumping in to something. Life is changing so fast. I need to slow down what I can." She smiled then. "He does want me to look at this apartment he found, so I have to give him props for including me. It sounds really perfect. It's across the street and we'd have a fellow surgeon as a neighbor. Dr. Robbins lives across the hall. Can't hurt to have a pediatric specialist nearby. In addition to me."

"Dr. Robbins lives there?" Callie's voice was way louder and more excited than it should have been.

Addie paused for a moment, an odd questioning rise coming to one of her perfectly arched eyebrows, before she nodded. "He ran into her this morning while checking it out. He told me she seemed like someone he could be friends with. I'm all for him finding friends here. Right now I'm all he has, since Derek isn't talking to him, and really I need some space."

Callie felt a flash of jealousy, before she scolded herself. _Friendship is not a competition. She can be friends with Sloan and also with me._ She focused again on Addison. "Sounds like something to consider. You'd at least be really close to the hospital. And you clearly need a place to live."

"Yeah, the Archfield is not ideal." She slid forward in her seat and glanced at her watch. "I need to get going and you probably need to get back to what you were working on. I'm glad we had a chance to touch base, though. And don't worry. This will work out with Owen and Ellis."

"And things will with Sloan, too."

"They will." Addison stood up stomach first before settling on her feet. "Well, I'll see you later."

"Ciao," Callie answered with a wave as Addison headed out of the office.

When she was alone again, Callie leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. _Addison and Sloan could be living across from Arizona. Interesting. Very interesting. _With a slight shake of her head, she grabbed her purse from the desk drawer and headed out of her office. She had to get going if she was going to make lunch on time. And she didn't want to be late. Not for Arizona.

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><p>Arizona was enjoying the surprise warm spell Seattle was experiencing by sitting on a bench outside the restaurant, her face upturned to drink in the rare February sun. She loved the feel of it on her face, even if she had to admit it was more likely she'd get a sunburn than any sort of tan from the exposure. <em>That's what happens when all your ancestors come from Northern Europe. Not everyone gets blessed with a genetic perma-tan.<em>

The thought of a certain someone who was so blessed brought a smile to her lips. _Yeah, Callie's pretty much got the perfect complexion—not too light, not too dark. It's the Goldilocks of complexions._ Her mind then went back to the previous summer, to the picnic Richard and the chief had hosted for all the department heads and their families. Callie hadn't yet been named acting chief, but she had been there with Owen and their kids. Arizona thought back to the sundress Callie had worn—it had been white with small multicolor flowers on it. The light fabric had just drawn attention to her amazingly perfect skin. And there was plenty to see, what with the low back and most importantly the neckline that was just this side of inappropriate for a family affair. That neckline had shown just the right amount of cleavage. _Damn, that woman has nice breasts._

Arizona groaned at the way her mind was wandering and lightly slapped her cheek. "Stop that," she said to herself in hopes of chasing away the rather inappropriate image.

"Stop what?"

Arizona jumped at the voice and blinked her eyes at the bright sunlight as she looked up to find Calliope standing over her. "You scared me," she said as she tried to calm her heart down. There was no hope of stopping the blush that she was sure had come to her cheeks.

Callie slid down onto the bench next to Arizona. "What's got you slapping yourself?" Her voice was a strange mixture of humor and concern.

"Oh that? I was starting to fall asleep. The warm sun and all got me tired. Must have not slept well last night." She was glad she came up with what seemed like a plausible excuse so quickly.

"You're not too tired for lunch are you?" Callie was definitely joking, if Arizona read her tone of voice properly.

_She knows I was lying but isn't calling me on it._ Obviously Arizona couldn't admit what she had been really thinking about. Better to just forget it for the time being. Arizona shook her head vigorously. "Nope, I'm full of vim and vigor and ready for some Italian."

Callie nodded with a light smile. "Okay, then. Shall we?"

They went inside and grabbed a table. There was a general silence between them as they looked over the menu. Arizona peaked over the menu and could have sworn Callie ducked her head quickly to hide she had been looking at Arizona. It was strange but then Arizona thought back to leaving the diner that morning. _I hope she's not uncomfortable after I did that. She doesn't really seem like the touchy-feely type. _Arizona was about to apologize for maybe going beyond Callie's personal boundaries when the waitress appeared to take their orders. Arizona ordered the lasagna with garlic bread while Callie ordered a chicken Caesar salad with the dressing on the side.

As the waitress left, Callie shook her head with a quiet laugh. "You either work out like crazy or you've got an amazing metabolism. How can you eat like that and have such a great figure?"

_Great figure?_ Arizona tried very hard to keep the smile off her lips. Instead she shrugged in self-deprecation. "Both, really. I do triathlons in the summer for fun and personal torture and that requires me to work out pretty much year round. But I also have a naturally high metabolism."

"Triathlons? Like those crazy long races they do in Hawaii?"

Arizona shrugged off the difficulty. "I've never done the one in Hawaii. You need to qualify or win a lottery and I'm not fast or lucky. But I've done a few races that were that length. Mostly I do shorter races."

"Still that's really impressive." Callie took a sip of water. "With the kids I don't get to work out much. I miss it. But since the twins learned to walk, I've been getting a workout just chasing them around the house. And Allegra can be a handful, too."

Arizona laughed at the vision of Callie trying to chase down three small kids, likely all heading in different directions. "I don't know how you do it. I can't imagine raising one child, let alone three."

"It can be trying." Callie fiddled with her silverware for a moment. "You don't want kids?"

"No. And yes I realize that I'm a pediatric surgeon, so it doesn't make much sense. Trust me, my mother has tried that logic a number of times, although she prefers the guilt trip of wanting grandkids." Arizona shrugged. "She means well, and I don't mean to sound like we have a bad relationship, because we don't. She's just sad she's missing out on having a grandchild to spoil."

"You're an only child?"

Arizona shook her head. "My brother was killed a few years ago in Afghanistan."

Callie's expression was sad. "I'm sorry to hear that." She shifted slightly, obviously a little uncomfortable. "So, no kids, huh? I guess you get enough of them at work and they're rarely at their best when you see them. I get how you wouldn't want one."

"Exactly." Arizona rarely found someone who understood why she didn't want children. Usually people, especially parents, were so enamored with the idea of having children they couldn't understand how any woman couldn't want one, like they were a great pair of shoes without responsibilities and downsides. And to be honest, she just rarely gave it much thought, especially lately. She might consent with the right partner, but she couldn't imagine herself at all as a single mother, and it had been a really long time since she'd had any hope of finding the love of her life. Or even the love of a few years.

"They can be a real pain in the ass. But only sometimes. And rumor has it they grow out of it in about fifty years." Callie laughed quietly. "But I love being a mother. I wasn't looking to become one when it happened, but I'm glad it did. If I had waited until I was ready and the time was right, I probably still wouldn't have kids."

Arizona took in Callie's words and filed the information away. Their friendship was still too new to ask about personal stuff that wasn't freely offered, but she found it interesting that Callie admitted her daughter was an accident. "Maybe that's the best way. I mean, I guess if I was in that situation, I'd learn to love it."

"Yeah, sometimes the best things happen when you least expect them or don't even want them."

"Exactly. And I guess if I met the person of my dreams and they had kids or wanted them, I might be persuaded." She looked down at the table, feeling a slight warmth in her cheeks. _Like say I wasn't completely broken and you suddenly decided to go gay and things really took off between us._ She shook her head slightly to chase away those thoughts. _Harmless crush, harmless crush, harmless crush._

Callie reached over and lightly touched Arizona's hand. "You okay?"

Arizona stared down at where Callie's hand lingered on her own. She had felt a quick bolt of heat at first contact, but now it had turned into a more gentle warmth. She had to fight to keep the smile off her face. She took another breath to savor the touch before she gently pulled her hand away, afraid her voice would give her reaction away if she spoke while they were still touching. "I'm fine. I just sometimes have wistful thoughts about relationships or the lack thereof in my life. It's been a while." _Of course it's your own damned fear that's the reason._ The chiding of her inner voice was familiar. Too bad it never told the fear that so often ate her up to get fucked. She forced a smile. "But that's a story for another time."

Callie's brow knitted and she looked like she might press the issue. But then she nodded. "Another time. We'll find an evening when the kids are at their grandmother's and Owen is working and have a good old girl's night with lots of wine."

"I'll bring the beer. I'm more of a beer girl. Although I never turn down a nice chardonnay."

"Really? You don't strike me as a beer swiller."

Arizona nodded. "I spent the last three years of high school in Germany. My father was stationed there. And since you can start drinking at 16 and the beer there is amazing. I developed a taste for it."

"Ah," Callie said with a simple nod. "I'm an equal opportunity drinker. Just don't tell my mother. She'd be mortified if she saw me drinking beer. In her mind, well-bred ladies don't drink beer." Callie paused for a second before her eyes went wide. "I hope that didn't make it sound like I'm an alcoholic or something. I'm not."

Arizona laughed. "No, not at all. And sorry to hear your mother is like that. My parents would both pass me the bottle opener and tell me to drink up, although my mother is more of a fruity drink type."

Callie smiled at that. "Sounds like they're fun."

"They can be."

Just then the waitress brought their food and talk turned to the hospital and their respective fifth years as they ate their lunches. With boards coming up in a few months, things were getting crazy in the race to get surgeries and they both had their share of funny stories to tell about the competition. All in all it was a fun meal and Arizona found herself really relaxing around Callie. There was little doubt in her mind that the two of them would become friends. As much as she liked the idea of keeping her private life out of the hospital, it was really starting to wear on her. And if she was going to make a change in her life and stop sleeping around as a way to fill the void, she might need a confidante or a shoulder to cry on. She would need to get to know Callie better before she would be sure the cardio surgeon would be the right fit, but there was definite promise there.

As they left the restaurant, they lingered outside. Arizona really didn't want to leave, but they both had surgeries to attend to. She also wasn't sure how to say goodbye. "Um, so, I guess we need to head back."

"Yeah," Callie said, although she seemed to be hesitant, too.

Arizona took a breath to calm the flare of nerves that had suddenly hit her. "Can I ask you something?"

Now Callie seemed hesitant more out of anxiety. "I guess."

"Well, um, this morning after breakfast," Arizona began and then paused when Callie sucked in a breath. "You know, never mind."

"No, it's okay," Callie said in a rush, as if she were trying to get the words out before she could think better of it. "You were going to ask why I bailed, right?" There was a hint of something—maybe regret or fear—in Callie's eyes that made her seem so lost somehow and it tugged at Arizona's heart.

"It's just that I can be a physical person sometimes," Arizona began in her typical rambling rush. "I do it without thinking, especially when I'm comfortable with a person. And I'm getting comfortable with you." Arizona looked down, unwilling to have Callie see the disappointment she was feeling at just the prospect that Callie wouldn't be open to her penchant for touching. She had far too few people in her life to be touchy-feely with.

"No, no, it's really okay and I'm sorry." She let out a quiet sigh. "I'm just not used to it. It surprised me and I' not sure why I reacted like that. But, cross my heart, it's okay."

Arizona lifted her eyes to meet the sincere eyes that were patiently watching her. Her breath caught at that expression and she felt the need to break the seriousness. "Are you really, really sure? Like super, duper positively sure?"

Callie laughed. "Yes."

"Okay, so then are you okay with hugs? Because I usually hug my friends hello and goodbye if they're okay with it. But if you're not a huggy person, that's okay, too. I get that some people don't like that and I know you just said the occasional touch is okay, but—"

Callie cut off her rambling by pulling her into a warm hug. "Hugs are good," she said quietly into Arizona's ear while their embrace continued.

Arizona melted into the hug slightly before catching herself. But being held in Callie's strong arms and being able to smell the fragrance of her shampoo—vanilla with just a hint of spice—made it difficult to restrain herself. _Oh this is bad. Hugging my crush is seriously dangerous. I probably shouldn't have suggested it. Dumb, Arizona, just dumb._ And as it continued well past a simple friendly hug, she sighed quietly. _My God, she is going to be the death of me._

When Callie finally released her and they both took a step back, Arizona noticed a light blush to Callie's cheeks. "See, hugs are good," Callie repeated.

Arizona bit her lip, hoping the pain would stop her from smiling like a smitten school girl. _You are starting to get it bad, Robbins. Maybe you shouldn't dismiss the one-nighters so quickly, because if you're going to crush on someone as hot and intoxicating as Calliope Torres, you're going to need some serious release on a regular basis._ Mentally shushing her inner voice, Arizona nodded, feeling a little heat coming to her own cheeks. "Yes, they are. Hugs are good."

"Yeah," Callie said as she looked at the sidewalk.

Another awkward silence followed as they both stood there for a few more moments. Finally, Arizona reluctantly spoke up. "So, um, I guess we both need to get back. I'm parked over there." She motioned over Callie's shoulder.

"And I'm over there," Callie said as she pointed in the opposite direction. "I do have to get back for a surgery." Callie shifted her weight a little self-consciously, before she said, "I have the kids tonight. Besides, I'm sure you're a little sick of me after two meals in one day. I don't want to wear out my welcome. But if you want, I can see if Owen can watch them some night this week so we can finally go for drinks."

"Yeah, that would be great. I'm on call Thursday, but otherwise I'm flexible." Arizona then unconsciously reached out and grabbed Callie's forearm gently. Her voice was softer as she said, "And you're not wearing out your welcome. I'm enjoying getting to know you."

Callie's eyes rose to meet hers. Her voice was also soft when she replied, "Me too."

Arizona held her arm for another second, enjoying the feel of soft skin under her fingers before she reluctantly let go. "All right, then. I'm sure I'll see you around work. Just let me know about drinks."

"Will do."

"Okay, well bye then."

"Bye."

They both stood there for just one more awkward moment before they passed each other to head to their cars. Arizona went a few feet and then looked back over her shoulder to watch Callie walk away. She bit at her lip again, but it couldn't stop the smile that broke through at the sight of Calliope Torres' ass in her perfectly tailored pencil skirt. "I'm so fucked," Arizona said before turning around and continuing to her car. "So so fucked."

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** Thanks for such wonderful comments. I'm glad some of you seem to be really enjoying this. I appreciate it even when I get behind on replies and forget who I replied to.

Arizona is definitely playing with fire by spending so much time with Callie. But how can she not? And Callie definitely has no idea that things are changing for her. Ignorance might just be bliss for now. But just for now.

This is a short, but pretty important chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. Things are starting to get complicated and interesting.

**Potential Mea Culpa: **Okay, I've never been to Seattle so I have no idea if there are even neighborhoods like the one I talk about in the first scene. But I figure most cities have to have at least a few small enclaves like it, even if they are gentrifying and modernizing like crazy. But if not, then just forgive me for my lack of Seattle knowledge.

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Callie looked in the rearview mirror and smiled at her daughter, who was sitting in the third row of the SUV. The twins had fallen asleep almost as soon as she had them strapped into their car seats, but Allegra had instantly put on her headphones and started watching some video on the TV that hung from the ceiling. _Thank God for those damned TVs. How did parents handle kids on car rides before?_

She was especially grateful since the ride home tonight was incredibly long. She had given in to the kids' request—perhaps whininess was a better term—for dinner at Chucky Chicken, their favorite restaurant in the whole wide world. If she hadn't gotten out of her surgery early, she would have said no, but they had a few hours before bedtime and she had to admit she wasn't in the mood to cook. Too bad the restaurant was on the far side of the city, not close to either the hospital or their house. And for some reason tonight, no matter what road she took, there was traffic or construction or even a police barricade making the going very slow. She had finally found one route where she was making some progress, but still, she was obviously going against the route the traffic engineers had envisioned, because she was hitting nearly every red light along the way.

As she sat at one light, she sighed and looked around at her surroundings. This wasn't an area of Seattle she had ever really explored, mostly because it was a little run down. _Blue collar is what polite company would call it._ There certainly weren't many of these areas, where neighborhood bars and car repair shops dotted the landscape, but this area was clearly embracing its identity. She looked over at the bar on the corner and laughed at the name of it—Handlebar Saloon. _Okay that's a little too obvious._

She shook her head and continued to look around when her eyes caught sight of something that made her start. "What the hell?" It was hard to tell in the glow of the streetlights, but the car parked just up the street from the saloon sure looked like her Thunderbird. She looked at the SUV's clock and noted it was only seven. Owen's appointment was at seven, so there was no way he could be here. _No, it's not him._ Still she found herself putting on her turn signal and driving down the road when she finally got the green.

As she approached the car, she slowed her speed even as she felt her heart begin to beat faster. The color sure looked right but she wasn't willing to believe until she saw the license plate: BLUBIRD. "Son of a bitch," she growled to herself as she whipped the SUV into the parking lot behind the bar. She parked in a space and took a few deep breaths to try to calm the anger that raged in her at the realization that Owen had lied to her, that he wasn't at therapy.

She turned off the ignition and was about to get out to go give him a piece of her mind, when Allegra spoke up. "Mommy where are we?"

_Shit, the kids. _Callie took a few deep breaths before she turned around in her seat. She was relieved to see that the boys were still both asleep, so she was able to focus just on Allegra. "I need to run a real quick errand, okay? Can you stay here and keep an eye on your brothers?" She hated the idea of leaving the kids in the car, but she would only be gone for a minute or two. She needed to see if he was in the bar and with whom. A bar was definitely not the place to confront him, especially not with the kids waiting in the car, but she needed to see him in there with her own two eyes. Then when he tried to deny it later, she would be able to say without a doubt that he was a liar.

Allegra nodded. "I can watch them."

"Good girl," Callie said. "I'm going to lock the car. Don't leave your seat, okay?" She waited for Allegra to nod before she got out and locked up the SUV, pulling on the door handle just to make double sure it was truly locked. She then took a deep breath and walked around the corner toward the saloon.

As she approached the door, she noticed that the windows on the side afforded her a pretty decent view of the bar, so she stopped to see if she could find Owen. It wasn't hard to find him. The bar wasn't exactly overflowing with patrons. He sat two seats from the end of the bar with no one on either side, drinking from a mug of beer. She watched as he held up two fingers to the bartender and Callie frowned slightly. _Who's he ordering for?_

She waited a few more seconds as she watched the barkeep deposit a beer and a short glass with an amber liquid in it on the bar. He placed the beer in front of Owen and the glass in front of the empty seat on Owen's right. Owen laughed at something the bartender said and then finished off the old mug of beer. It was only then that he turned toward the back of the bar and Callie followed his line of sight.

"What the hell?" She watched as an all-too familiar figure made her way through the bar. "Yang? He's drinking with Yang?" It made no sense. She had never seen them be more than minimally civil with one another. In fact, civil was the last word she'd use to describe Yang with anyone, but Owen was always at least polite to her. But then she thought back to what had happened in the ER when Owen punched the window. _He punched it because of her. That's what they all said. Is he buying her a drink as an apology?_

That still didn't explain why he was here and not at his therapy session. "Maybe his appointment got cancelled and he asked Yang for an apology drink because he knew I had the kids," she whispered to herself. She tried to force herself to believe this. Owen was an honorable man, an Army officer. Callie could honestly say Owen wasn't someone who often lied, unless lies of omission were counted, so surely that must be the case.

Callie nodded as she decided that she would wait until he came home, wait for him to tell her where he had been, before she convicted him of lying to her. But then, just as she was about to turn and go back to the car, she saw Yang smile—not the menacing smile that often made her look like some psycho murderer, but a sweet smile that made her look almost likable. And Owen laughed as he reached over to gently put a hand over Yang's arm. The touch went on and on as the two continued to talk, their eyes never leaving one another. As the seconds ticked by, Callie felt her heart breaking more and more. _My God, is he having an affair? And with Cristina Yang of all people? He can't be._ But even at this distance she could see the twinkle in his eye, the twinkle that she could still remember from the beginning of their relationship. It had made her feel so special when she looked into his eyes and saw it, knowing she was the one to put it there. She hadn't seen it in years, at least not directed at her, but there it was, visible from across the room and through the window, and she knew. _Son of a fucking bitch, he and Yang are having an affair._

She swiftly walked back away from the window but then stopped before reaching the corner of the building. She felt sick and tears were stinging at her eyes. She couldn't go back to the car, not just yet, not while she felt like her world was crumbling around her. So, she leaned back against the wall and took a few deep breaths, willing her tears to stop falling and forcing her stomach to still. "Who am I kidding? I've known it was over for a while. We were just too stubborn, too afraid to let it end. But, still, Yang?"

She took a few more seconds to calm her nerves and settle herself down before pulling her phone out. She quickly pulled up the number she was looking for and dialed it. When the phone was answered, she said, "Hi Marge. I need you to watch the kids tonight if you can. Owen's not home and I just got a call from the hospital."

Her mother-in-law's voice was sweet as usual. "Of course. Do you need me to come pick them up?"

"No, we were actually just on our way home from dinner. I can just drop them by on my way in. One of us will get them in the morning."

"Okay, I'll be here. See you soon."

Callie hung up her phone and took another deep breath. She was glad she had someone who could watch her kids. She didn't want them home for the conversation she was sure would happen tonight. It was bad enough she would probably be ending her marriage in a few hours, she didn't want her kids around when she did it. Telling them was something that needed to be delivered with a cooler head, with both of them there calmly explaining as much as they could to three young children. Tonight would undoubtedly be filled with yelling and tears and she would never knowingly subject her children to that. It was going to be hard enough on them as it was.

With a final deep breath, she headed back to the car, forcing a smile on her face and steeling herself for the night ahead.

* * *

><p>"I call," Erica said as she tossed a few chips onto the table.<p>

Arizona looked down at the cards in her hand and tried hard to school her face. Hold'em was her game and with the exception of Erica, no one at the table was a threat. Arizona had realized shortly after Erica started dating Julia, that the eye surgeon was a horrible card player. And the woman that they had invited over tonight, obviously as an attempt to set her up with Arizona, was also little more than clueless. She looked across the table at the woman and tried hard not to roll her eyes.

_Kitty. Who the hell seriously goes by Kitty? She sounds like she should be serving tea to her society lady friends on the Hamptons. She could go by Kate or Katherine or something more appropriate, but she chooses Kitty. How do you take a perfectly normal name and make it that ridiculous? _

"Arizona?"

"What?" She blinked as she looked over at Erica. "I'm sorry, was thinking about a surgery I have tomorrow."

"It's your turn."

"Oh, sorry." She looked around the table and figured she had the best hand, by far. She counted out a few chips and tossed them on the pile. "I'll raise."

Just then the phone in her pocket buzzed and she pulled it out. "Be right back," she said as she put her cards face down on the table and got up from her seat. Only then did she look at who was calling and a smile came to her lips. She put the phone to her ear. "Hello, Calliope."

There was a shuddering breath on the other end and then Callie's voice came over the phone, "Arizona?"

Arizona recognized tears in her new friend's voice. She looked back at the group at the table, noticing Erica watching her intently, so she turned to walk into the kitchen away from curious ears. "Callie, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry to call, but Addison is in surgery and I…" It sounded like Callie's voice caught and there was a pause. "I don't have anyone else right now."

"It's okay. Tell me what's wrong." Arizona felt her heart breaking at the pain in Callie's voice and she wanted nothing more than to find a way to help.

"Can you come over? I don't want to be alone right now."

"Yeah, sure, just text me your address after we hang up and I'll be right there." Arizona paced in the kitchen, feeling like a caged animal. She wanted to be on her way already, but she needed to make sure Callie would be okay. "I'll be there for you," she said softer.

There was a loud sigh of relief on the other side of the phone. "Thank you. But when you get here, if there's a blue Thunderbird in the driveway, don't come in, okay?"

"Um, okay," Arizona said hesitantly. She knew that was Callie's car, so she didn't understand why it would be important if her own car was in the driveway, but she wasn't about to question Callie. "I'll be right over, I promise. Just hold on."

"Okay."

Callie sounded like a lost little girl, and that spurred Arizona forward. She walked over toward the front door to grab her coat off the hook and started to shrug into it without taking the phone from her ear. "Okay, I'm putting my coat on now. So, go ahead and hang up and send me your address. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay," Callie said once again, still sounding so very lost, and then the phone went dead.

Arizona finished putting on her coat and was grabbing her purse off the floor when a voice came from behind her. "Calliope? No one calls her Calliope. That's one of the first things you learn about Torres."

Arizona whirled around to see Erica standing behind her with her arms crossed over her chest and a knowing smile on her face. Arizona just rolled her eyes. "I don't have time to talk about this right now. I have to go. She needs me." Her phone beeped to indicate she had received a text message and she glanced down at it to make sure it was from Callie. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Erica shook her head. "Being her knight in shining armor isn't going to make her love you. She's just going to break your heart. Straight girls always do."

Arizona narrowed her eyes at Erica and was about to say something, but she didn't have time. Callie needed her and that was all that mattered. "Fuck you, Erica," she said as she whirled on her heal and went out the door. She had far better places to be and far better friends to be with.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****: **Thanks so much for your reviews. I very much appreciate it, even if I'm back to being lousy with replies.

Grad school started up this week, so I'm not sure updates will be that often, but I'll try hard to get something up at least weekly. I'm actually halfway through chapter 10 already so there's hope for a relatively quick next chapter, but after that not so sure.

So, this is a pretty big chapter...a definite turning point. Hope you enjoy it.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Arizona jogged up the steps of Callie's front porch and then paused at the door, her hand halfway to the doorbell. Although she was anxious to find out what was wrong with Callie, she was also nervous about coming to her aid. _I'm getting sucked into her life way too quickly. This is dangerous, way too dangerous. I should probably distance myself a little or slow this down. But, damn I already committed to helping her tonight. Tomorrow I'll put the brakes on. Yeah, tomorrow._ She took a deep breath and then realized she shouldn't ring the bell because the children were likely asleep, so she knocked instead.

When Callie answered the door all concerns about the speed of their friendship were forgotten. Callie looked distraught and she'd obviously been crying. All Arizona really wanted to do was wrap her arms around her new friend and make whatever was causing her pain go away. But Arizona hesitated and instead just looked at Callie with a worried furrow to her brow. "What's wrong?"

"Take your coat off," Callie said with a nod toward the antique coat rack that stood just inside the front door. "Can I get you something to drink?" She turned and headed toward the back of the house.

Arizona frowned at the strange reaction. She quickly shed her coat and practically tossed it and her purse onto the coat rack, not waiting to make sure they stayed on the hook. She then scurried after Callie, catching up with her only as they turned through a doorway into the kitchen. "Hey, what's up with you? You've been crying. You didn't ask me here for drinks, so talk to me."

Arizona followed Callie into the kitchen and watched as the other woman opened the fridge. "We've got beer. Owen, he—" She stopped for a second and then her shoulders shook and Arizona heard a sob escape. Callie turned back around to look at Arizona, tears streaming down her face. "He's having an affair."

"What?" Arizona immediately closed the gap between them and wrapped Callie into a tight hug. She rubbed her hand up and down the other woman's back as renewed tears fell on her shoulder. "Oh, Callie, I'm so sorry," she whispered.

After a few more moments, Callie took a shuddering breath and stood up, wiping tears from her cheeks. She looked at Arizona, emotions swirling in the deep brown depths of her eyes. Finally she swallowed hard and shook her head. "How could I have been so stupid?"

Arizona shook her head as she closed the refrigerator door before taking Callie by the arm and leading her into the adjoining family room. "This isn't your fault. If Owen is cheating it is all on him." She gently maneuvered Callie to sit on the couch and then sat down next to her, taking one hand in between her own. "If he wasn't happy, there are far more mature ways to go about it. He never said anything to you?"

Callie shook her head and let out a dry snort of laughter. "We don't talk. For years now, even before his last tour and the PTSD really hit hard, we haven't really talked. We just get through each day and take care of the kids."

Arizona was confused. "You guys always look so happy at the hospital."

Callie wiped at her face to chase away more errant tears. "I guess we're good actors. I don't think either of us wanted to admit things have been falling apart. We're both the type of people who make a commitment and keep it, whether it's a good idea or not. When we got married I truly believed it was for life. Sure, we really only got married so Allegra wouldn't be born out of wedlock and so she would have both her parents together. And deep down I knew Owen and I weren't madly and deeply in love, although I hoped we'd get to that point. Owen's a good man so I thought I could come to truly love him. And then we stood in a church and had a priest marry us. It was a Catholic wedding—my parents insisted—and those are really supposed to be until death do us part." She let out another dry burst of laughter. "Guess he's not quite the good man I thought he was."

"How do you know he's having an affair? Did he tell you?"

"No, I saw him tonight in a bar, on the other side of town. He was supposed to be at a therapy appointment, something he promised me he'd do. Instead he was with her." She practically spat out the last word. "And the irony of the situation is that the woman he's having an affair with is my resident."

Arizona's eyes went wide at that. "He's having an affair with Webber? I thought she and Karev were really serious."

"No, Yang." Callie's voice was more strained at the admission.

"Yang?" Arizona stopped herself from saying anything else in case it came out as insensitive. _Who would date Yang? Well, okay, Burke did but rumor is she pretty much drove him insane and that's why he left. You'd think Hunt would know better._ She was afraid to voice that, to be critical of Callie's husband, even if he was a cheater, because she didn't want Callie to think she was implying something must be wrong with her for Hunt to choose Yang. So, instead she decided to get more information. It was the safer course of action and might help her decide how best to comfort her friend, not that it was likely anything she said would be of much comfort. "Are you sure it's Yang? And what did you see exactly? If you don't mind my asking that is."

Callie took another breath. "Like I said, he was supposed to be going to therapy tonight over at the VA hospital. Instead he was in some bar on the other side of town with Yang. I wasn't following him or anything. He had my car so I could get the kids and I noticed it parked on the street when I drove by. It was total chance, or maybe I was meant to see it, who knows. But I went and looked through the bar's window. I saw them in there, together, and he gave her that look that he has. It was what really attracted me to him in the first place. His eyes just twinkle so brightly, it's amazing when you're on the receiving end. And he gave Yang that look. It was so obvious I could see it probably thirty feet away. Cristina fucking Yang, the bitch of cardio." Callie's eyes fell and she voiced what Arizona was afraid she'd think. "What the hell is wrong with me that he would choose Yang of all people? That's just salt in the wound."

Arizona reached out and tilted Callie's chin up so their eyes met. "Nothing is wrong with you, okay? I barely know you and I can tell you that. You are smart and kind and funny and beautiful." She watched as Callie's lips tipped into the slightest smile at her compliment. _So, beautiful._ "The better question is what the hell is wrong with him?"

"Maybe it's his PTSD. He's so damaged and he can't talk to me. But I can't be there for him if he doesn't talk to me."

Arizona thought for a second. "Not to make light of this, but misery does love company. Maybe Yang's morose personality is what he needs. But remember this is about him, not you. It's not a reflection of you. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their partner. Anyone."

"Thanks," Callie said, a light blush coming to her cheeks even as a sad smile touched her lips.

They sat there for a moment quietly just looking at each other. Finally, Arizona asked, "So, what are you going to do about it?"

Callie shook her head, looking lost again. "I can't continue like this. I've put up with the silence for too long, because I thought it was best for the kids, but it's not. Maybe right now the distance and strain between us doesn't really impact them, but it will eventually. And what would I be teaching them, especially my daughter, if I stay in this marriage? I want them to follow their dreams, not settle and be miserable. And I'm pretty miserable. Maybe if he hadn't lied to me about therapy or if I hadn't found out about Yang this could somehow be saved, but not now. I've got to ask him for a divorce. We both need to move on and find someone who really loves us. That'd be what's best for the kids. I want them to see what happy parents are like, so they can be happy parents one day, too."

Arizona found it hard to find the appropriate reply. What do you say to someone you're just getting to know when they pour their heart out to you and tell you they're going to ask their spouse for a divorce? And worse when that friend is someone you are attracted to. It was seriously dangerous territory, so she decided to focus on the children. They were her specialty anyway. "You're probably right. Kids are incredibly resilient. They'll adjust, because you both clearly love them so much and I know they'll be your first priority." Arizona had seen so many kids in her career who had weathered much worse, after all. "It'll be hard at first, especially since they won't really understand at their age. But they'll probably be better off in the long run. And giving yourself a chance to find happiness is important, too." She squeezed the hand she still held. "You deserve to be happy."

"I know," Callie whispered. "And if I'm being honest, I know I never was with Owen. Not truly."

Just then headlights flashed through the windows. Arizona watched as Callie sat up straighter and reluctantly pulled her hand free from Arizona's grasp. Arizona sighed quietly and then said, "I guess that's my cue to leave. Call me if you need me, okay? Any time, even in the middle of the night."

Callie leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Arizona. "Thank you. You're turning out to be a wonderful friend."

Arizona smiled and held on tight. "I told you I'm a good friend. Good luck tonight and just remember that this is what's right for you and for your family. But even so, I'm sorry it's come to this."

Callie let go of the hug and sat back to look Arizona in the eyes. "Thank you. For everything."

Arizona got up with a final sympathetic smile. She quickly went to the front door and grabbed her coat from the rack. As she put it on, Owen came in the front door. "Hello, Dr. Hunt," she greeted him with a forced smile as she buttoned up her coat.

"Dr. Robbins." His greeting sounded almost like a question. He recovered from his obvious surprise at finding her there. "I wasn't aware you were here. You don't have to leave just because I came home. I can go downstairs."

_No, you can't. No more running away from this. _She shook her head. "That's okay, I was leaving anyway. It's getting late." She tugged her purse down from the hook and opened it to dig out her car keys.

Before he could say anything else, she moved past him and left the house. She swiftly trotted down the porch steps and almost ran to get into her Jeep. Once there, she sat behind the wheel and took a breath before looking up at the house. "God Callie, I wish you didn't have to go through this." She really hated the thought of Callie in pain. And the thought that she had been living in a bad marriage for a while now just made it that much more sad. "But at least you'll have your chance at happiness now. Some guy will be very lucky to have you." She let out a loud sigh. "Too bad it can't be me."

* * *

><p>Callie wiped her sweaty palms on her slacks as she stood when Owen walked into the room. "So, how was your appointment?" She hoped he would at least be honest about not going.<p>

Owen walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. "It was okay."

And with those three simple words, any last hope that this was all a misunderstanding and her marriage could somehow be saved vanished. In a way, Callie was relieved. All the years of trying to hold on and make this work, all the stress, all the worry about the future were gone now. It was incredibly simple really. It wouldn't be without its own brand of pain and sadness—because as much as she was not in love with Owen, she loved him dearly as a friend and as the father of her children—but now that the decision was made, the hard part seemed to be behind her. "I want a divorce."

Owen stopped, the bottle halfway to his mouth. "What?"

"You just lied to me, Owen. You didn't go to therapy tonight. How could you lie to me about that? My job is on the line, my whole fucking career." She was shouting by the end.

Owen walked over to her and said in a harsh whisper, "Keep it down. The children—"

"Are at your mother's house. I'm not stupid enough to have this discussion with them around." She stared at him coldly. "Are you going to answer me? Why did you just lie to me?" _And what else have you lied to me about?_

Owen's eyes fell and he sat down heavily on the couch. She watched him for a moment before she moved to sit on the loveseat. Finally, he looked up, his pale blue eyes filled with pain. "I didn't want to admit to you that I failed you, that I failed us. But I just can't go to therapy. I'm not ready to talk about what happened over there. I'm not ready to be fixed." His eyes dropped to his hands. "I don't deserve to be fixed."

Callie's breath caught as she heard the devastation in his voice. "What do you mean you don't deserve to be fixed? Owen, everyone deserves that. You have children who need you to be healthy. You have patients that need you. "

"But not you it would seem," he added quickly.

Callie moved over to sit next to him. She took the beer bottle from his hands, afraid if he blew up he might use it as a weapon. She then took his hands into her own. "We both know this marriage has been over for a while, if it ever wasn't. There's no fixing it. Our whole marriage is based on our kids. It was never really about us. I at least hoped we'd learn to truly love one another when we got married, but it just never happened. Owen, I love you, but it's always been just as a dear friend. I can't say I was ever actually in love with you."

He finally looked up at her. "Our marriage was real for me. I was so in love with you and I wanted to marry you, to spend my life with you. I thought those feelings were mutual, but I figured out a long time ago they weren't. You've always had a wall around you that I could never pull down. After a while, I stopped trying. That's why I took that last tour. I needed a break."

Callie was shocked that he would say that. She had tried so hard to make it work and she had always felt like it was Owen who was the most distant and that was why she could never really be in love with him. But maybe it was really all her fault. Maybe he was just protecting himself from the pain she was causing him, so he stayed distant. If he was telling the truth, and really she doubted he'd just say it to hurt her, then she had been the one who had made the mistake. She had gotten married because it was what was expected of her, just as she had done so many things in her life. And she had hurt Owen in the process. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Finally, Owen asked, "How did you know I didn't go to therapy?"

"Crazy luck, I guess. I was on the wrong side of town and saw my car parked on the street. I saw you in the bar."

"You saw?" He looked up at her and must have seen something in her face. "I'm not cheating. I wouldn't do that to you. Cristina and I are just friends."

Callie searched his face, looking for any sign that he was lying, but she didn't think that was the case. "But you have feelings for her." She wasn't asking. It had been obvious when he had said her name.

He sighed quietly. "I can't explain it, but there's something there, some strange connection that I've never felt with anyone before. She gets the dark side of me, the parts that are damaged. And there are so many parts that are. Maybe something could come of it, but I don't know."

She nodded, understanding so much more about Owen in just these short few minutes than she probably had ever known. He was broken by so much more than what happened in Iraq and her heart ached for the pain he'd been through. "You need the chance to find out. You're my friend, you're the father of my children, and I want you to be happy. I can't be the one to make you happy. So, I want you to find that perfect person for you." She couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh. "Even if that person is Yang."

"I want that for you, too." He sighed quietly and when he spoke again his voice was steadier. "I obviously won't contest this. I hope we'll both do our best to remain friends through this divorce, both for us and for the children."

"I want that, too," she said as tears sprang to her eyes now that this was really it, they were agreeing to end their marriage. "We'll work everything out, split things as equitably as possible and find the best way to share custody. I want you to spend as much time as possible with the kids. They need their dad."

Owen picked up his beer and took a sip. "I'll go stay with my mother starting tomorrow. You keep the house. Our kids need this house and you love it. I'll find a place as soon as possible."

"I'll help you look if you want. Anything you need, I'll help with." She wanted to make this as easy on him as possible. She obviously hadn't made the marriage easy for him, it was the least she could do to let him go free and support him through it.

"Thanks." He stared off at the fireplace for a moment. "It takes at least three months to get a divorce in Washington. I'll call our lawyer tomorrow and get a recommendation for a divorce lawyer so there's no more delay than necessary." He took another sip. "I won't cheat on you in that time, until it's official I mean. I promise you that. We took vows."

"Owen…" Her voice trailed off sadly.

"No, I'm serious. Until the papers are signed, we're still married. I may be a liar right now, but I'm not a cheater."

"I appreciate that. But please, don't let this pass you by waiting for a court date. You can…" She stopped to consider what those vows really meant to her. It wasn't likely she'd have to worry about where to draw the line herself, since there were no prospects even on the remote horizon, but she knew if she were in his shoes, not pursuing this budding relationship would be hard. And Yang didn't seem like the patient type to wait three months for things to get going between them. "Just don't sleep with her. That's all I ask."

"Okay," Owen said after a moment's pause. He then took a long drink from his beer, finishing it. "I'll go change for bed and sleep downstairs. It's been a long day. We can talk more in the morning." He stood up and went upstairs to their bedroom, not waiting for her to say anything else.

Callie fell back onto the couch and covered her face with her hands. She was overcome with a mixture of relief and sadness. Realizing for the first time that Owen had really been in love with her at one point when she had never truly been able to reciprocate had hurt. She wished he had just told her sooner. But now she knew she had made a bad decision five years prior when she had accepted his proposal. She had done what was expected, not what was right—she could see now that Allegra would have been just as well off if they hadn't gotten married—and she had maybe cost them both chances at happiness. Maybe the right guy for her or the right woman for Owen had been missed because they were marking time in their marriage. _Or maybe it's all as it was supposed to be and we both needed this to learn about ourselves so we'll be ready when the right person shows up. Besides, how can I regret this? Max and Ethan wouldn't have ever been born. I can never regret them. Never. _The thought of her boys buoyed her spirit and put her self-recriminations to rest. If anything was proof that the last five years had not been a waste, it was her perfect little men.

She heard Owen come down the stairs, but couldn't look up to face him. She waited until he was safely in the basement before turning out the light and going upstairs. She stood in the middle of their bedroom—no, her bedroom now—and looked around, knowing this room would never be the same, just as her life would never be the same.

She walked over to the full-length mirror to look at herself. It seemed like she stood a little taller, likely because a weight was now off her shoulders. "This was the right thing to do at the right time," she told herself and it felt good to believe that. "Everything happens for a reason. There's a reason this all played out like this." She smiled at her reflection. "This is a new beginning. For both of us."

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****: **Thanks for the comments and the reads everyone. I'm hoping you guys like this one, too, even if poor Arizona is in her own form of purgatory right now. I'm really loving writing this and can't wait to get to a number of scenes that are coming up. I wish I could write faster so I can get to the meat of the story, but things need to happen when they happen (I did cut out a few scenes in my outline to get them together a little faster). But things are going to start really moving in the next few chapters, I promise. Just a little more patience and I'll have the groundwork done and then it's on to getting them together and then the aftermath. It'll be good, I promise.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

Callie sat on the edge of her bed and stared at her left hand. _When do I take them off? Do I wait for the divorce or do I do it now?_ A thought occurred to her and she went to Owen's dresser, opening the box he used to hold his cufflinks and tie tacks. There, sitting on top, was his wedding ring. "Guess that answers that question."

She picked up his ring and looked at it for a moment, running her fingers along the smooth platinum. She then turned it so that she could read the inscription. _Now and forever._ She laughed dryly and shook her head before placing it back in the box. "Not now or forever," she whispered to herself before closing the box lid. "He may have lied about some things lately, but I lied about the most important thing. I lied about my feelings."

She then walked over to her own dresser and opened the top drawer of her jewelry box. She had a number of rings in there, each nestled in its own slot. She rearranged a few so that there were two spaces in the middle row before returning her gaze to her left hand. She fiddled with the rings for a moment, twisting them as she so often did when she was nervous or distracted. She then pulled on them, grimacing as she often did at the slight tug on her skin that always happened when she removed them. Once they were off her finger, she quickly slid each ring into the newly empty slots and roughly closed the drawer. She then looked down at the pale line on her finger where they had been. It wasn't like she didn't take them off all the time for work, but still, knowing this was forever hurt. It was a reminder of all the failures in her life.

With a sigh she left the bedroom and went downstairs. Owen was sitting at the table in the breakfast nook, typing onto his laptop with one hand while sipping coffee from the mug in the other. He looked up as she walked into the kitchen. "There's coffee." He then typed a few more words. "I couldn't sleep last night as usual so I made sure all the financial info was in one place and ready for the lawyer. I think we'll be able to split this all easily, especially since your trust fund is covered by the prenup."

Callie winced at the reminder of the prenuptial agreement her father had practically forced them to sign. She had argued that it was unnecessary, but Owen had happily signed his name, saying he wasn't marrying her for her money. But now as she began thinking of their joint assets, she felt bad that he had signed it. Maybe it would have assuaged her guilt some for him to get some of her wealth. It would have been a penance that she could have paid and maybe felt better for it. She poured a cup of coffee and looked over at him with sad eyes. "I want to make sure you're okay through all this."

Owen let out a dry laugh. "I make plenty of money. Maybe it's not cardio surgeon money and it's certainly not heiress to a hotel fortune money, but you know I'm not exactly poor in my own right."

Callie sat down at the table across from him. "That's not what I'm talking about. I mean, sure, our joint assets need to be split up and I want to make sure you get half of everything, but I want to make sure you don't feel cheated out of anything either."

"I'm long past feeling cheated out of this marriage," he said acerbically.

Callie's eyes flew open at the attack. "Well, I guess I deserved that."

He hung his head. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just tired and a little upset. Can you blame me?"

"Of course not. I'm not exactly jumping for joy myself."

He nodded sadly and looked back down at his laptop. He then shut the top and sat up straighter, a new resolve coming over his face. "Look, this is all really unpleasant, and of course I'm not happy that it's come to this, but I agree with you that it's best for both of us. In the long run, it's going to be best for the kids, too. I just want us to try to stay friends through all of this. I know somewhere along the way the friendship part of our relationship got lost in all the tension. Can we get back to that? I think we can if we both work at it and I hope we can for our kids. We're always going to be in each other's lives and I'd like that fact to be a good one."

Callie's eyes fell as she thought about how much their relationship had been strained of late and how much she missed the easy friendship they'd had early on. "I want that, too." She raised her eyes and looked into his. There was pain swirling in their pale depths, but also a measure of caring. "I've missed my friend. I want us to be friends again."

"Good," he said as he got up from the table. "I'm going to pack a bag and then get over to my mom's house. I'll get the kids to daycare, but I took the day off to get a handle on things. What's your schedule like today?"

"I have to go in. Michaels is on his honeymoon and Peterson is still on maternity leave. We've got too many surgeries scheduled today, not to mention any emergencies that might come up. Plus I want to see if Ar—" She cut herself off. "I want to see if Doctor Robbins has any suggestions on how to tell the kids or if she has any pediatric shrink friends that we can contact. We should probably tell them soon, tonight even if we're ready. If that's okay with you."

"Call me later and we'll see where things stand. Maybe we can even meet up for a quick lunch if your schedule works out. I don't want to wait too long, so if we have a plan of attack then tonight is fine. But I think we need to really talk about it first. We'll also need to work out a schedule."

"Okay, I'll call you later once I have a better handle on today's schedule. And we can work on a custody schedule tonight, at least for the next few days until we get to talk to the lawyer and maybe work out something more formal."

"I'm going to call our lawyer this morning after I get the kids settled at daycare." He walked over to her chair and reached out toward her like he was going to touch her cheek, but then his eyes clouded as he dropped his hand. "I'll only be a few minutes getting some things. I'll pack more later."

She could only nod and watch him walk out of the kitchen. She felt tears spring to her eyes but she blinked them away, refusing to give in to emotion. Instead she pulled out her phone and found Arizona's text message stream. She quickly typed in a new message. _When do you get in to work?_

There was only a brief pause before a reply came through. _I'm here already actually. You okay?_

She sighed, wanting nothing more than to call Arizona right then and hear her voice. She was the only person who knew what she was going through and she really needed support right then. But she resisted the urge. She knew Owen would be back down soon and she didn't want him to hear her pouring her heart out to Arizona. So instead she typed a reply. _I will be. He agreed to the divorce. No major fight. Want to talk to you today about how to tell the kids. I'll fill you in on the rest then. You free around ten?_

_I'll find you. So sorry you're going through this. _

Callie smiled then, feeling a comforting warmth fill her. She had to blink away a few more tears, although these were brought on by the feeling of having someone there for her who truly seemed to care. _Thank you. See you at work. Have a good morning._

_You too._

Callie turned off her phone and placed it on the table with a sigh. She had never had a friend who seemed so caring, never let anyone get that close to her before, but Arizona had suddenly become someone she really cared about and who seemed to care in return. And this had all happened in only a few days. It was strange, but she knew from experience that the surprises in life could turn out to be the best things that ever happened to you. She was quickly beginning to think that Arizona could be just such a surprise. A bright smile came to her lips at that thought.

Just then Owen came back down the stairs, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. He had a garment bag slung over his shoulder. "Forgot my laptop." He grabbed the computer and then paused for a moment to look at her. "I'll, um, I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah," was all she could say as she watched him leave the room. A few seconds later she heard the front door open and close.

The sudden silence was almost deafening. She looked around the empty kitchen and family room and realized this was to be a huge part of her life now. There were going to be days—many days in fact—when Owen would have the kids and she was going to be in this big house all alone. She thought it would make her sad to realize that, but instead there was something freeing in it. Not that she ever wanted to spend time without her kids, but now there was also a chance for her to build her own life. She had lived her whole life for other people—her parents, the chief, her husband. Now it was time for her to focus on getting her own life in order and figuring out what the next phase would entail. She rubbed at her left ring finger, at the smooth skin where her rings had been. "If I'm happy and fulfilled, I can be a better doctor, a better friend, and most importantly a better mother." It really was a new beginning.

* * *

><p>Arizona paused outside Callie's office and took a deep breath. She was having a hard time finding the fine line between supporting Callie and getting too sucked in. <em>Just help her figure out how to tell the kids and be there for her, but keep the hugs and touches to a minimum. You can be her friend without crossing that line.<em> She took another deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Callie's voice sounded strained through the door.

"It's Arizona."

There was a rather long pause before Callie said, "Come in."

Arizona edged into the office to find Callie sitting on the leather couch that took up one wall. She was staring dejectedly at the cellphone in her hand. She took a breath and raised red-rimmed eyes, but at first she didn't seem to really focus. She looked so lost in that one moment and Arizona quickly forgot all her pleas for distance. She suddenly found herself sitting down next to Callie, taking the phone from her hands. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing that I didn't expect, but it still hurts. I just told my parents about the divorce." She sniffled quietly and shook her head. "They're pretty old school Catholic."

"Ah," Arizona said quietly as she imagined the recriminations they had leveled at Callie. It made her feel protective, like she wanted to redial the last number and give Callie's parents a piece of her mind, but of course she didn't. Instead, she put the phone down and then took Callie's hands in her own, her resolve from earlier quickly forgotten. "I'm so sorry."

Callie took a deep breath and sat up straighter, sliding her hands out of Arizona's grip as she did. "You know what? I'm not. I'm not sorry that for once I'm living my life for me. I'm 36. It's time I do what I think is right, not what my parents think or Ellis Grey or Owen or whoever." She finished with a smile that seemed just the slightest bit unsure, but still lit up her face.

In that moment Arizona fell even harder for Callie and she knew it was hopeless to resist. There was just something about seeing someone take charge of their life that was empowering and awfully sexy. Add to that the smile that Arizona couldn't help but return and she knew she was a goner. "Wow," she said, hoping her voice didn't give away any deeper emotion. "That's great that you're seeing this as an opportunity. Good for you."

"Thanks. And as bad as it was to tell them, it's another huge weight off my shoulders. Now to just figure out how to help the kids through this. I hope you have some ideas."

"Well," Arizona said as she fished out the paper she had stuffed in her pocket earlier in the day. She flipped it open and then handed it to Callie. "There's a child psychiatrist in private practice here in Seattle that is excellent with helping young children through major life changes. I've worked with her a number of times and she's great with both the kids and their parents. I called her and she said if you can call around 2, she should be available."

Callie took the paper and looked down at it. "My schedule is a little tight, but I should be able to swing that. Thanks." She then looked back up at Arizona. "What about you? Any advice?"

Arizona thought back to her determination to distance herself from Callie. There was real danger in becoming Callie's go-to through this big transition in her life and Arizona was worried she'd be unable to pull away if she got much deeper. Still, it was hard to say no or disappoint the brunette. There was such vulnerability in her deep brown eyes that made Arizona feel like she'd be kicking a puppy if she were too resolute in her distance. "Um, well, kids that age are hard to really judge. The boys obviously won't really understand why you guys don't live together any more. They'll just know Daddy isn't around and that will be hard for them. But Allegra will understand a little bit, even if she won't understand why. But, really, talk to Ronnie." She pointed down at the paper that Callie still held in her hand. "She's excellent and can help you out both before and after you tell them. She'll probably suggest bringing the kids in to see her and maybe even some family therapy. That's probably a good idea."

Callie nodded. "Yeah that probably will be good, although I'm not usually someone who likes therapy and obviously Owen isn't a fan. But, still, for the kids I think we can both do what needs to be done. As for telling them, I guess it's really all common sense, right? Just be supportive and be there for them. I was hoping we could tell them tonight. We're going to need to talk about this before we do that, though, so we're on the same page."

"And he was really pretty okay about this? I mean as okay as can be expected."

Callie shrugged, her face once again taking on a measure of sadness. "Well neither of us is happy about this, but then again neither of us has been happy for a while." She sighed heavily. "He did tell me he used to be in love with me. I wish I could have felt that for him."

Arizona's brow furrowed at her revelation. "You weren't in love with him?"

Callie shook her head. "I loved him. I still do and probably always will. And I was attracted to him. I mean he's handsome and smart and kind. Who wouldn't be attracted to that?"

_Me._ Arizona tried not to laugh at her silent answer to Callie's rhetorical question. "But you weren't in love with him."

"No." Callie's voice was barely a whisper. She let out the quietest laugh. "To be honest, I'm not sure what it feels like to be in love. I don't think I ever have been. I think I was more in love with the idea of being in love with Owen. And once I got pregnant even that didn't really matter." She laughed and some color came to her cheeks. "I sound pretty pathetic, huh? Fast approaching forty and never been in love."

Arizona found herself ducking her head to meet Callie's eyes. "That's not pathetic. I think that's just really honest." _And probably better than falling in love with someone who not only didn't love you back but was just using you. At least you're being supportive of Owen through this. I didn't even get a goodbye._ She tilted her head, wanting to deflect the conversation away from this sensitive area. "So, do you think you two can stay friends?"

"I hope so. He said he wants that and I do, too. After all, we're kind of stuck with each other anyway, and I know we both want to do what's best for the kids. Besides, it's not like we hate one another. Well at least I don't hate him. But I'm pretty sure that even though he's hurt right now, he doesn't hate me."

"I doubt he does," Arizona said as she smiled. "He doesn't seem like the type." Arizona then looked down at her watch, knowing she had to get going soon. "Well, I have a surgery scheduled in half an hour, so I need to go change and get scrubbed in. But I'm glad things are going about as well as can be expected. And don't forget to call Ronnie. She's really great." She stood up and looked down at Callie, who just sat there watching her. It made her a little uncomfortable to be watched by those deep brown eyes. They seemed like they could see inside her emotional barriers somehow, and that was just terrifying. "Good luck with the kids," she said before turning to leave.

"Wait."

Arizona stopped and hesitantly turned around. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You seem a little distracted." There was concern in her voice and in her eyes.

It was that concern that made Arizona shake her head quickly. "Nope, I'm fine. See ya." She then rushed from the office, not looking back, and practically ran until she was safely behind her own office door.

Only once her back was to the thick oak did she breathe a deep sigh of relief. "This whole crush thing sucks. It just really sucks."

TBC…


	11. Chapter 11

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** I almost had this entire chapter written and then decided that I didn't need the two scenes I had written because they were scenes with Arizona/Mark (I cut that down and used bits of it in here instead) and Callie/Owen (telling the kids about the divorce) and that information could be gotten in other ways, so this way we get to some forward movement (or maybe backward depending on how you look at it). Thanks for sticking with me through the set up. Now it's on to getting the two of them together. Fun, fun, fun.

Thanks for your comments (and for the few hundred of you that don't comment, please do…I don't bite…hard). It really makes my day.

I'll hopefully get a chapter up this week, but I have extra school work to do plus I'm going out of town for the stomach-churning wedding of my super-religious cousin (family sucks sometimes), so not sure I'll get time to write much since I'll be with my mother for the 3 day trip. And she's needy. But I'll try.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

There was a strange tension in that morning's staff meeting. Arizona looked around the table and shook her head slightly. _All these relationships breaking apart._ It was sad, really, and once again Arizona was happy to be hopelessly single. She couldn't imagine being in any of their shoes. Having your domestic problems follow you to work would be hard, let alone having to sit at the same table or operate on the same patient. _But I guess when it works, it can really be worthwhile. The chief and Richard always seem relatively happy and supportive of one another. But is the risk worth it?_

Until recently she had known the answer without a doubt. But as she began to question her lack of relationships, she was starting to really wonder. But regardless of whether she continued her regular sampling of Seattle's lesbian population or finally ended up trying to find someone to truly date, she doubted she would ever want to date someone she worked with. That bug had bitten her in the ass once. She wasn't going to fall into that trap again.

"Alright people," Ellis proclaimed from the end of the table, "good work. I'll expect your final merger numbers by the end of the day."

Callie leaned over then and whispered, "Your place or mine?"

Arizona did a double take as she looked at her new friend in astonishment. "What?"

Callie laughed quietly, obviously finding her reaction quite amusing. "Our meeting about writing up Riley's case. Your office or mine?"

"Um," Arizona stammered as she momentarily got lost in Callie's dark eyes. They literally twinkled in amusement and Arizona was hopeless to resist staring at them. She finally managed to get her brain in gear and answered, "Mine is good." She would have more control in her office and could ensure her very large oak desk could sit between them while they worked.

"Okay," Callie said with a bright smile, "then shall we?"

She started to stand when Mark came over to them. "Doctor Robbins, can I talk to you for a second?"

She was about to blow him off when he arched his eyebrow at her and she knew it was somehow important, so she simply nodded. She turned to Callie, "Can you wait for me?"

Callie looked between the two but didn't question their interaction. "I'll just be outside." She gathered her things from the table.

Arizona watched Callie leave, appreciating the way her tailored pants hugged her curves in just the right way. An unbidden smile came to her lips as Callie left the room, leaving only Mark and Arizona behind.

"Do you want everyone to know you have the hots for her?"

Mark's question made her jump. "What?"

"If you keep looking at her like that the whole hospital, including not only the object of your affection but her husband, will know you've got a thing for her." He shrugged. "I'm just saying what anyone with two eyes and half a brain can see."

"Well, I'm glad you've got at least half a brain," she shot back at him. She was about to deny his observation, but she knew it was useless. "Is it really that obvious?"

Mark sat down on the edge of the conference table and seemed to think for a few long moments. "Well, since I happened to already know you're gay, it's not a big stretch for me to see it. But I suppose that many people see only what they want to see or expect to see, so you might be safe. For a while at least. But why tempt fate? I've heard Doctor Hunt can have quite the temper."

"Okay, first off, how exactly do you happen to know I'm gay? And secondly, I'm not worried about Owen Hunt, so you can keep that concern to yourself." She didn't feel like she could divulge that Owen and Callie were divorcing to a man she barely knew, so she chose to keep the reason behind her apparent bravado to herself.

"Well, I know, because a former colleague of yours from Hopkins also happens to be Derek's little sister and a good friend of mine. Do you remember Amelia Shepherd? Last summer when Addison was back in New York, the three of us got together. Addie was talking about a case she was working on with you and one topic led to another. Amy is a bit of a gossip I'm afraid to say." He paused and looked at her for a second before adding. "I know you're not exactly Ms. Gay Pride around the hospital, so my lips are sealed and I know Addie's are, too. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried," she replied, trying to sound a little more confident than she felt. But this definitely made Mark's comment from their meeting in her apartment building hallway clearer. "My private life stays outside this hospital as much as possible and I want to keep it that way." She fixed him with her best death glare so that he would realize how serious she was.

"Will do." She could tell by the seriousness with which he answered that he would not be gossiping about her, which was good if he was going to end up living across the hall from her. Because then he'd likely have all kinds of potential gossip material before long.

Arizona relaxed a little and said quietly. "And thanks for the head's up. I'll be more careful with my appreciations."

She started to walk out when he quickly added, "If it's any consolation, she gives you the same look."

This made Arizona stop dead in her tracks and turn to stare at him as if he had two heads. "She's straight, Mark," was all she could find to say.

"And there's never been a woman who's figured out she likes women a little later in life?"

Arizona's first reaction was to argue, to keep everything and everyone in their neat little boxes. Because if Callie wasn't married and she wasn't straight, then this crush was far from safe. In fact, it was a ticking time bomb. She shook her head and laughed. "I think you're imagining things." She didn't wait for him to reply before quickly leaving the suddenly claustrophobic room.

Of course the only problem with that escape was that it sent her right into the fire of Callie's presence. The cardiac surgeon was sitting on the row of chairs outside the door, looking up at her with those damned soulful eyes of hers, a hesitant smile on her lips. But then she frowned. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Arizona glanced back at the door, praying that Mark wouldn't emerge from the conference room just then. "Come on," she said and started off toward her office leaving Callie to practically run in her designer heels to catch up.

"Hey, where's the fire?"

_Apparently in our glances at one another._ But of course she couldn't say that out loud. "Sorry, I just want to make sure we have enough time to work on this before my surgery."

There was a thick silence that hung between them as they walked the rest of the way to Arizona's office. Along the way, Arizona tried to catch whether Callie was giving her any looks, but there was nothing at all suspicious about her behavior. _Mark's just got a straight man's obsession with lesbians. He's probably letting his fantasies color his perception._ By the time they got to her office, Arizona was sure that Mark was just plain crazy.

Arizona sighed in relief when she was seated behind her desk with Callie safely on the other side. She finally let her head clear of all the thoughts that had been swirling around and smiled over at Callie. "I meant to ask you. Did you get a chance to talk to Ronnie?"

"Yes. She had some good advice. And I guess telling the kids went about as well as it could." She sighed and suddenly looked very tired. "The boys didn't understand at all. Allegra gets that Daddy isn't living at home anymore, but she's too young to understand why. She's already had a few sobfests."

"That's got to be rough," Arizona said. "It'll get better over time I'm sure. Kids are really resilient."

"Hopefully." Callie paused and picked at something on her slacks. She finally looked up and there was something in her eyes that seemed confused, afraid even. "Are you free tonight?"

Arizona swallowed hard as Mark's words rang through her head again. If he was right, spending any more time with Callie than she had to could be dangerous. Really dangerous. But it was also so hard to resist, too. _I'm a fucking moth and she's the flame. _"Um," she said quietly as she turned to her computer to buy herself some time to decide on an answer. "Let me check my schedule."

"I just thought if you were free, we could go get those drinks we planned. I could really use a night out and some adult time with someone I'm not divorcing. This has been a rough week." Callie looked like she was close to tears.

Arizona's first inclination to decline disintegrated at the look of the tears pooling in her eyes. Without really thinking about it, she found herself saying, "Drinks would be fun." And when Callie's face lit up in a bright smile, Arizona couldn't help but return it, even as she cursed herself for letting herself fall into this situation. "Did you bring appropriate attire?"

"I have casual clothes in the car." Callie's smile continued, although it was now somewhat subdued. "You know, I'm always going to be in Riley's debt. We're going to get a great article out of his case and I found a good friend, too." Callie's face reddened slightly and her eyes fell bashfully. "I'm glad we're becoming such good friends," she added quietly.

Just as Arizona was taking a breath to reply, Callie looked up and their eyes met. The breath stuck in her throat as this incredible energy seemed to crackle between them. It only lasted a split second, but it was enough for Arizona to know that Mark wasn't wrong. There was little doubt Callie was attracted to her, although Arizona was reasonably sure the brunette wasn't really aware of it. And if Arizona had anything to say about it, she never would. _But first I need to know for sure what's going on inside that gorgeous head of hers. Then I can figure out how to douse the flames. Tonight will be a fact finding mission. Nothing more and nothing less._ "I'm glad, too," she finally answered feebly. "Um, shall we get to work?"

Callie's beaming smile returned as she nodded. "Sure thing."

_Oh crap, I'm not sure there's enough water in the world to douse that. What the hell am I going to do?_

* * *

><p>"What can I get you ladies?" Joe asked as he walked up to their table.<p>

Arizona laughed quietly. "You're taking orders? You must really be shorthanded."

He sighed. "Yeah, Barbie called in sick at the last minute. So, what can I get you?"

Callie thought for a moment, not wanting to seem too much like a lush, but dying to relax a little. Her eye drifted over to the bottles on display behind the bar and she smiled. "I'll have a Grey Goose martini, straight up, extra olives."

Arizona looked at her with an appreciative lift of her eyebrow. "A woman who knows her vodka. Impressive." She then turned back to Joe and ordered something that sounded German.

"What's that?" Callie asked after Joe left.

"A German wheat beer. Joe's the only bartender in Seattle that I've found who both carries it and knows how to serve it properly. And even better that I live just down the street."

"Oh, sounds complicated for beer."

"No, it just takes a little knowledge of temperature, pouring techniques and the right glass. And it's so worth it." She laughed quietly. "What can I say? I'm a beer snob."

Callie laughed along with her. "You're really a lot more complicated than you first appear."

Arizona's smile seemed amused now as she leaned back in her chair. "Some people would take that as a backhanded compliment, Callie."

There was a bit of a challenge in Arizona's tone and it made Callie self-conscious. "Um, well, I didn't mean it like that of course. I just meant…" She trailed off, chastising herself for beginning to stammer and being unsure of how to explain herself. She normally was very confident, but for some reason around Arizona that confidence often quickly dissipated. She shook her head slightly and let out a breath of tension that had built in her. "I just mean you're a peds surgeon. I would tend to think peds surgeons drink fruity drinks or don't drink alcohol at all. I mean, not that you can't be badass or hardcore or—" She stopped herself, realizing she was stammering again and now she had the added problem of sounding like more of an idiot. She felt heat come to her cheeks and was glad the bar was dimly lit so perhaps Arizona wouldn't notice her blush. "Don't mind me."

For her part, Arizona looked like she was having a hard time not bursting into laughter, but that only lasted a few seconds because she finally couldn't hold it in. She let out a light laugh that somehow made her face light up even more. "Oh don't you worry," she finally said with an amused shake of her head. "I'm badass alright. Peds is way more hardcore than cardio. Try one of your surgeries on a heart that is a tenth the size of an adult's and tell me who's hardcore or badass Calliope."

That challenge coming from anyone else, especially with the addition of her full first name would have normally angered Callie, but instead she found herself laughing along with Arizona. "Okay, okay, so I need to adjust my stereotypes. You've really taught me that I need to stop making judgments about people before getting to know them better."

Arizona then became suddenly serious and her eyes seemed to lock intently with Callie's. Even in the dimmed light, they were an amazing shade of blue—darker than in the bright light, surely, but still full of such depth and emotion it made Callie's breath hitch. It was like Arizona could read her inside and out with those eyes of hers. She had never met anyone who seemed to have that power with her. Owen had never seemed to get her, had never even seemed to make an effort. But Arizona's eyes—those same eyes that until about a week ago had only ever seemed to look at her with annoyance or disdain—now held so many more emotions, more than Callie could ever hope to name. And yet in that moment that was all she wanted to do. She wanted to figure out what made Arizona tick, what caused her to laugh uncontrollably, and what brought about the shadows of pain that would sometimes pass over her face.

"Did you hear me?"

Callie blinked and focused on Arizona waving her hand as if trying to break her out of a trance. "Sorry, what?"

"Nevermind. It wasn't important." There was almost a smug amusement in her gaze.

Callie was about to press her when Joe brought over their drinks. "That's a lot of beer," Callie said as Arizona's drink was placed on the table. The glass was almost a foot tall and the beer inside was a golden yet cloudy color.

Arizona's grin was broad as she maneuvered the beer to her right side. "That's a half liter of deliciousness right there." She picked up the glass and held it out toward Callie. "Cheers."

Callie lifted her own glass and clanked it against Arizona's before taking a sip. The burn of the alcohol helped her refocus her mind. _No more getting lost in thought. Keep your focus on the conversation._ "Okay, so really, what did you say before?"

Arizona tilted her head and seemed to be thinking hard about something. She then focused back on Callie again, her eyes holding her with a penetrating gaze. "I said that in the last week I've had to reevaluate you, too. You're obviously more than just a beautiful yet arrogant cardio god."

Callie felt a sudden warmth flow through her and her stomach flipped at the compliment. _She thinks I'm beautiful._ She bit hard at her lip to keep her smile from growing exponentially. It took her a few seconds to pull her mind away and consider how to answer. _Do I return the compliment? I mean she is very beautiful, but does that make it sound hollow? Or do I just deflect it with laughter? I could humbly accept it or deny it. Damn, what do I say?_ Finally, she lowered her eyes for a moment and then looked up again into those incredibly blue eyes. "And you're more than a cantankerous and rigid peds surgeon with ridiculously blue eyes and killer dimples."

At the mention of her dimples, Arizona smiled and they made an appearance. But Arizona didn't lower her eyes or blush. Instead she casually reached for her beer and lifted it to drink, pausing shortly before it met her lips. That was when she said, "Well, Calliope Torres, there are many things about me you'll be pleasantly surprised to find out." She then took a long drink from her beer and placed the glass on the table.

But Callie wasn't watching the glass. Instead she was trying hard not to laugh at the froth that clung to the trip of Arizona's nose. She tried, but she couldn't and so she let out a belly laugh as she reached across the small table to wipe the white foam from Arizona's face. As she did, her fingers grazed against the smooth skin of her cheek. Callie's mouth went dry and her heartbeat quickened at the contact, causing her to pull her hand back as if burned. She swallowed hard and laughed to cover her reaction. "Froth. Sorry, it's the mother in me." She still felt incredibly uncomfortable at her reaction and tried to force it from her mind, not wanting or able to understand it. But the look in Arizona's eyes made it difficult. There was something swirling there that Callie couldn't place, but this time it didn't fascinate her, it made her want to run. And yet she found herself stuck, unable to move from her seat, her brain flying so fast she couldn't grasp on to any single thought.

There was a long pause where they both just watched each other. And then Arizona was standing up and fishing a ten dollar bill out of her pocket. "I've got an early surgery tomorrow so I better get going." She turned to grab her coat.

_She can't leave._ Callie stood up and moved around the table, grabbing Arizona's arm to stop her. "I'm sorry if I did something wrong."

Arizona looked up at Callie and for a brief moment there was a flash of fear in her eyes and then they fell and a shadow of sadness came over her face. "It's not anything you did," she said so quietly that Callie had to strain to hear.

"Are you sure?" Callie was confused and felt a sense of panic about Arizona leaving.

Arizona then smiled, although it seemed a little forced. "I promise. I really do have to be up early." She placed the money on the table and grabbed her jacket. "I'll see you tomorrow." She then brushed past Callie without any further word.

Callie just stood and watched her wend her way through the tables and toward the door. When Arizona disappeared outside, she sat back heavily in her chair, still feeling a bit of shock at what happened. It reminded her of her own quick escape from the diner only two days ago. But what was even more haunting was how much she had wanted to flee yet again, but hadn't. _It's like she has some strange power over me or something. I guess I'm just so desperate for someone to pay attention to me right now is all. I so need to start standing on my own and not be so needy. _She took a long drink from her martini and then shook her head with a laugh. "And those damned blue eyes don't help."

TBC…


	12. Chapter 12

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** Oh things are starting to move. Glad you all liked the last chapter. That bar scene was fun to write. Now for a little fallout and set up for what's to come. It won't be long now before the shit really starts hitting the fan.

As always thank you so much for your wonderful reviews. I love receiving them and they are wonderful payment for the work I put into this story.

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Callie stared at the surgical board and sighed. Arizona hadn't lied about having a surgery that morning, but she definitely stretched the truth some, since she certainly wouldn't consider a 9am surgery particularly early. It made her think back to the night before and Arizona's hasty exit from Joe's. She was clearly uncomfortable and it hurt Callie to think that she had been the cause of that. _No wonder. She probably thinks I was coming on to her._ She let out a mirthless snort of laughter. _I'm sure she thinks I'm sowing my wild oats after my failed marriage or something. I'll just have to reassure her by being very platonic. No touching that she doesn't initiate. And quit staring into those damned blue eyes of hers. We're just friends, after all, and I don't want her to think that I want more when I don't._

She shook her head and checked her watch. She had two hours until her first surgery and she had little to do since Meredith Webber would be taking lead on it. So, with time to kill and unable to shake Arizona from her mind, she did the first thing she thought of. She went to the observation gallery above Arizona's OR.

She wasn't surprised to find the gallery almost empty. Arizona's surgery, while time consuming, wasn't exactly groundbreaking. What she was surprised by was to find the new head of plastics sitting in the front row, leaning forward in his seat and watching the proceedings below as if it were the last thirty seconds of the Super Bowl. But of course he was sitting smack dab in the middle seat, so if Callie wanted a good view, she would have to sit nearby. With a sigh she went and sat with only one chair between them. "Good morning, Dr. Sloan," she said by way of greeting.

His eyes never moved but the slightest smile came to his lips. "Good morning, Dr. Torres. What brings you here?"

"I have a little time to kill and I want to start expanding my repertoire a little by getting more into pediatric surgery."

"Oh I bet you do," Mark said quietly. He then leaned back in his seat and looked at her. "I doubt there's anyone in this hospital who could be a better teacher than Dr. Robbins. She really seems to be a master of her craft."

Callie was taken slightly aback by his comments, but decided to let it go. She didn't know him well enough to judge his tone and it wasn't worth pushing. "Is that why you're here?"

"I was going to pitch a focus on pediatric plastic surgery. Fixing cleft palates and kids who've had their faces ripped off by Fido is great PR for the hospital. I wanted to make sure Arizona has the chops so I'm observing a few surgeries. So far, so good."

His use of Arizona's first name irritated her, but she again let it pass. She wasn't really in the mood to get into a discussion with Mark Sloan. Instead she just nodded and then focused her attention on what was happening below, or rather on one person below. Arizona was intent on her surgery and giving directions to her resident with an ease born of both experience and raw talent. Callie always loved watching a confident surgeon lead an OR. It was like watching an orchestra conductor at the symphony only far more complicated and way more intense. But it was always a sight to behold and none more than Arizona Robbins. It was downright exhilarating to experience even from this distance.

Callie was lost in thought as she watched, her mind dancing around how their friendship had grown in just a week. It felt like so much longer, like they had been friends for years. _Well except for the fact that I hardly know anything about her. She hasn't talked about her family, her loves, even much about medical school or residency. She's right. I have so much more to learn about her._ She was fascinating and Callie could hardly wait to find out more.

She blinked when she heard Dr. Sloan's voice, not really making out his words. She turned to him and took in his smile and the amused twinkle in his eyes. "What?"

"I said you'd think it was your husband working down there, what with how intensely you're watching her." He stood up before she could respond and said as he walked by her. "I'll leave you to it then." Before she could think of a retort, he was gone.

She laughed quietly and shook her head as she returned her attention to the OR. "What the hell is he talking about?" Mark Sloan seemed to talk in riddles. It just irritated her and she couldn't help but hope he and Addison didn't move in across from Arizona. It was bad enough she'd have to see him socially since he was the father of Addie's baby, but she didn't want to run into him if she were visiting Arizona.

She shook her head once again to chase the thoughts of him from her head and realized that a pair of piercing blue eyes were looking up at her. Arizona had obviously finished her portion of the operation and her resident was closing the incision. Their eyes locked and Callie saw the surprise and maybe just a hint of something more negative in Arizona's expression. She'd gotten good at reading eyes after eight years of being in an OR, but at this distance it was just too difficult to understand exactly what was going on. She'd have to find Arizona later to talk if she wanted any answers about the previous night. And she knew that if she didn't find out why Arizona bailed, she'd be worried their friendship was somehow ruined. And if there was one thing Callie was sure of, it was that she didn't want to lose Arizona's friendship. She wasn't sure she could handle that.

Arizona watched her for another minute or so before returning her focus to the activities in the OR. Callie used the distraction to make a hasty retreat. It wasn't until she was in the hallway that she let out a sigh of relief. It was strange, of course, but Callie felt like Arizona had caught her, like she was some sort of Peeping Tom. It was a stupid reaction, really, since it wasn't like Callie hadn't often glanced up during her own surgeries during a lull to see who might be watching. But still it felt like she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't have. She fell back against the wall and let herself deflate slightly. _This is getting kind of ridiculous. Why am I even this drawn to her? Until last week she could barely say two civil words to me. And now I can barely get her off my mind. This is stupid, just stupid. She's a friend, barely more than an acquaintance really. Get over the newness and attention she's offering you and get on with life. Like the surgery you have in thirty minutes. Get your shit together._

But as she walked down the hall toward the stairs, she couldn't help but have her mind go back to Arizona and how much she wanted to make sure she was alright.

* * *

><p>Arizona approached Callie's office but stopped short and just looked at the door. Her heart was pounding at the thought of apologizing for her reaction at Joe's. She hadn't really come up with a good lie and she was sure Callie had seen through her flimsy excuse. It was a pretty standard one they all used at times and all doctors realized it was rarely legitimate. But how could she explain that when Callie touched her cheek, she had had a physical and emotional reaction like none she had ever felt before from such a simple innocent touch? And unless she was mistaken, Callie had felt it, too. <em>If she's figured this out, what do I do? Damn it. I can't face this right now. <em>Especially because every time she tried, she remembered the way the tips of Callie's fingers had brushed her skin ever so lightly and she was lost all over again.

She let out a loud sigh and turned to leave, pushing off this inevitable discussion hopefully for days and days, maybe weeks and weeks. _I can avoid her that long, right?_ She knew it was hopeless, but still she needed a little more time before facing the woman who now haunted her dreams at night and clearly overwhelmed her thoughts all day. But as she turned to leave, she literally crashed into Callie, sending the taller woman sprawling to the floor. "Oh my God," Arizona called out as she knelt down next to her. "I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz. Are you okay?"

Callie laughed as she looked over at Arizona. "Yeah, don't worry my ass absorbed the fall. Help me up, would you?"

Arizona stood up and offered Callie her hand to help her get up. Once she was standing, Arizona felt a blush come to her cheeks and she was sure it was obvious, which only made it worse. "I'm really sorry. I should look where I'm going."

Callie smiled and started to reach out to her but then stopped awkwardly. She looked a little fearful and just slightly disappointed as she dropped her arm back to her side. "I was the one coming up behind you. Really, it's okay." Her brown eyes fell for a moment before looking back up at Arizona. "Were you coming to see me?"

Arizona felt a renewed panic similar to the one she had felt in the bar. She had no idea what she was going to say to Callie and now she was stuck. "Um, yeah, well I saw you this morning in the gallery and, well, I was wondering, well, why you were there?" _That's good. That might get us on a safer topic._

"Why don't we go in my office? I wanted to talk to you about something anyway."

_Oh, shit._ Arizona looked around, hoping to will someone to show up and need her. _There has to be a kid dying somewhere in this hospital, right?_ But no rescue appeared to be in the cards. "Okay," she finally meekly agreed.

They went into Callie's office and, after being motioned toward the couch, Arizona sat down and perched on the edge. She looked up at Callie, who started pacing nervously back and forth. Finally she stopped and looked down at Arizona. "I wasn't coming on to you."

Arizona blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Last night, when I wiped the foam off your nose and mentioned your eyes and dimples. I wasn't coming on to you. I mean, I'm not gay or anything. I was married, so obviously I'm not. And I like you. I want us to become good friends assuming that's what you want. Because I think we could be good for one another. I clearly need support right now and I think you could probably use someone in your corner, too. I don't want to assume anything, of course, but who couldn't use support, right? And I don't think you really have anyone like that right now. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. And so I don't want there to be any misunderstandings so I just wanted to say I wasn't coming on to you." She stopped suddenly and took a deep breath after her long rambling speech. Her eyes were filled with a little worry, maybe even some fear, as she watched Arizona. "Okay?" she finally added softly.

Arizona watched her and tried to school her emotions. _You probably were, but thank God you have no clue. Now to just keep it that way._ Callie was right, of course. Arizona had to admit that the few casual friends she had weren't really enough. Deep down she knew she was sick of not having companionship, even relatively close friendship. She had spent far too many years with walls built up high around her and she was tired of it, but the fear of breaking them down was almost overwhelming. And she needed someone she cared about to help her with that and she hoped that Callie could be that person. But that would only work if the cardio surgeon either never figured out her true feelings or was unwilling to pursue them. _Or if I'm unavailable. Now there's a possibility that might work. I could start dating. That might even get my mind off this damned crush and let me concentrate on being Callie's friend. It's really about time, after all._

Callie now looked like she was about to cry. "Arizona?"

"Oh, sorry, no I wasn't avoiding answering you." She shook her head. "I didn't think you were hitting on me, don't worry. And I do want to be friends. You're right. I think we can both use a better support system and I'd like to be that for you."

Callie let out a huge sigh of relief and sat down on the couch. "I'm glad. I was so worried last night I could barely sleep. But if it wasn't that, why did you leave?"

_Damn, I was hoping we wouldn't get to that. Well I'm already lying through my teeth about so many things. And for good reason. A little more won't hurt I guess. _She looked down at her hands, hoping that Callie wouldn't see any hint of her falsehood. "I shouldn't have said I could go out last night, but you looked like you really needed to get out, so I couldn't say no." She looked up, wanting to see Callie's reaction when she added, "Actually, I had a date."

Callie's eyes went wide and then there was a definite flash of disappointment that came to her face before she said, "It would have been okay. Don't ever feel like you have to babysit me."

"But I wanted to." _And that is no lie._

Callie smiled at that. "That's sweet. So, you're seeing someone? I thought you said at lunch the other day that it had been a while since you dated someone."

"Well, actually last night was our first date." Her lie was now becoming clearer. "I'm not sure it'll work out, but we'll see. We've got plans this weekend so we'll just have to see where it all leads." _There we go. Keep it open to the possibilities without making it too big of a deal._

"Oh, well, I hope it does. Lead somewhere that is. You deserve to be happy." Her voice didn't sound as enthusiastic as her words.

"Thanks. I feel bad I bailed like that, though. I should have told you why. Can I make it up to you? We could go out tonight if you're free." Arizona was now reasonably sure enough dampers had been put up so that it would be safe.

Callie frowned. "I have the kids tonight and Owen is on call. Besides I really want to spend some time with them." She then suddenly smiled. "Why don't you come over for dinner? Well, assuming you don't mind dinner with my kids that is. It might be good to have you there as a bit of a distraction. It's still so new for Owen to not be there. Having you there might keep them from going into temper tantrums."

Arizona thought about it and realized the kids would be a good buffer and help keep everything safe. Of course, once the kids went to bed it could get dangerous. She'd likely have to talk about who she was dating, which meant coming out to Callie. Not that she was worried Callie would have a problem; it was just one of her least favorite things to do, because it was such a stupid conversation to have. _It's not like anyone comes out as being straight, after all._ But it was about time she made sure she knew, because that was what friends did. "I probably won't be able to stay real late, but that sounds like fun. I have a kid with a neuroblastoma that's pretty invasive. We're operating tomorrow morning and I'm not sure I'm going to get much prep time in today, so I might have a little homework tonight. But I can certainly swing dinner."

Callie's smile now beamed. "I won't keep you late, I promise. How about six?"

"That works for me. Can I bring something? Wine? Dessert?"

"You'll actually drink wine?"

Arizona laughed. "Yes, I will drink wine. I don't always have to swill beer you know."

Callie laughed along with her. "Okay, if you can get a bottle of red that would be great. Don't worry about dessert. I try not to give the kids sugar before bed or it's a nightmare. And Allegra has sugar radar, so if you tried to smuggle it in just for us, she'd find it within the first five minutes."

"Ah, I think she and I will be buddies then."

"No doubt," Callie said with an amused shake of her head. "Okay, then I'll see you tonight."

"Right. At six." She stood up and felt the normal awkwardness that normally accompanied their partings. She thought about hugging Callie, but decided not to push things. Instead she simple said, "Goodbye," and then walked out of the office.

She took a deep breath once outside and instantly felt the weight of the lies she had just told. It felt horrible to lie to Callie, but she really didn't have any choice. There was no way she could stay away from her, especially since they saw each other almost daily at work. And really she didn't want to. As hard as it was to be around her, to be so near and yet so far from the woman she was hopelessly attracted to, the thought of not being able to look into those eyes or find a way to make Callie's amazing smile beam forth just made her heart ache. _And it's only a temporary lie. I'll find a real girlfriend before long. How many of my one-nighters wanted to stick around, after all? I could give one of them a second chance._ But in the meantime she needed someone to play the part, just in case.

As she walked down the hall, she fished her cellphone out of her lab coat and found the number she was looking for. When she was safely in her own office, she dialed and was relieved when it was answered. "Hey, Rachel. Can I ask you a favor?" Arizona could only hope that she would be willing. "How would you like to be my girlfriend?"

TBC…


	13. Chapter 13

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** Uh oh, chapter 13. Is that bad luck?

I know Arizona's fake girlfriend idea wasn't popular (I'd say deep down it's not popular with Arizona either). But she's getting a little (okay seriously) desperate. What she thought was an innocent little crush is really starting to threaten the walls she's built up to protect herself and that's scary. But she's going to have to start really facing those fears soon. Or run like hell. Or maybe a little bit of both!

And poor Callie is going to start figuring things out over the next few chapters. I promise, things are moving toward one of them accepting their feelings and making a move. And then things really start to move!

Thanks for your reviews, even when you aren't happy with something I've thrown in there. In fact especially when you let me know what you don't really love. Constructive criticism rocks. And I figure at least you're having feelings about the story, right? That's all good!

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Arizona scraped the bottom of her plate and put the last piece of chicken piccata in her mouth with a sigh of contentment. "Who knew that real nutritious food could taste so good?" She smiled across the table at Callie. "That was really amazing, Calliope."

A hint of color came to Callie's cheeks as she smiled. "Thanks. I like to cook."

"And I hate it. I guess I need you in my corner just to feed me."

That made Callie laugh. "I'm still surprised you haven't died of malnutrition."

Arizona shrugged. "Dumb luck I guess."

"Mommy, I ate all my chicken piñata!" Allegra said proudly.

Both women giggled at Allegra's misspoken word. "It's piccata, baby," Callie corrected. "A piñata is one of those papier-mâché covered things you bash with a stick to break open."

Allegra turned to Arizona as recognition came over her face. "I had one that looked like Barney for my birthday."

Arizona thought about the annoying purple dinosaur and his even more annoying song. How many little kids had sung that song to her over the years? It made her almost shudder at the thought. "You beat up on Barney?"

Allegra laughed loudly. "I did!"

Ethan, or at least Arizona was reasonably sure it was Ethan although she still wasn't entirely sure how to tell them apart, pouted and said, "Barney breaked."

Callie reached over to ruffle the boy's blonde hair. "Yeah, Barney was broken. But there were all kinds of goodies inside, right?" His pout still remained though. Callie looked over at Arizona. "We had no idea how much the boys loved Barney until the older kids started whacking at it. They both cried."

"Aw," Arizona said as she leaned over toward the kids. "Is Barney your favorite?"

Ethan shook his head. "Buppy Guppies." Arizona smiled as she knew he was trying to say Bubble Guppies.

Allegra had to chime in. "Dora!"

The other boy was quiet though. Arizona looked over at Callie uncertainly and watched as the other woman mouthed 'Max'. _She can read me so well._ "Hey, Max, what's your favorite cartoon?"

The toddler just shook his head and looked away from Arizona. Arizona looked over at Callie who shook her head. Arizona only smiled. "That's okay, Max, you can tell me later."

Callie then got up from the table to get a wet towel to clean the kids off. As she did, she said to Allegra, "I'm going to put the boys to bed. Do you think you could keep Arizona company for me while I do that?"

Allegra bounced in her seat. "I can!"

Arizona smiled at the little girl's enthusiasm. "We can clean up the dishes for you while you're upstairs."

"No, you're my guest."

"I'm your friend and friends help clean up. Now get these adorable little guys to bed, okay?"

The look of intense gratitude that Callie gave her made the whole evening and the occasional awkwardness that came with it worth it. It was also great to see Callie with her kids. She really was obviously a great mother, which was a good thing because being a single mother to three young children while still being the acting chief of cardio surgery was really going to test her. As she thought of that, it really struck her how strong—or perhaps crazy—Callie had to be to strike out on her own at this point in her life. Arizona was sure she could never face such responsibility on her own. The thought made Arizona very proud of her new friend. And it made her hope that Callie wasn't alone for long. _She deserves to find someone who can love her and help her get through life. And since I'm too broken to be that for her, I can at least help her find it. I just want her to be happy._

After Callie wrangled the boys out of the dining room. Arizona began clearing the table with Allegra's help. As they did they chatted about different things—daycare, her love of the color green, and how annoying her brothers could be. Arizona peppered their conversation with questions to keep her engaged and she found herself really enjoying the talk.

Finally, Allegra started asking Arizona questions about her family and what she did at the hospital. Arizona was quite good at explaining things to kids in Allegra's age group, so she spent some time talking about being a pediatric surgeon and talking about living all over the world as a child. Then Allegra stopped and looked up at her. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

The shift in conversation didn't faze Arizona in and of itself, because kids very often went off on tangents, but discussion of her love life was something she was naturally cautious of. And she realized that what she told Allegra would undoubtedly get back to Callie. "Nope, no boyfriend."

There was a short pause and then Allegra asked, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Now Arizona startled. "Um, how do you know to ask that?"

Allegra smiled. "Girls can have girlfriends and boys can have boyfriends. Timmy at daycare has two daddies. Mommy says it's normal but doesn't happen as much as having a mommy and daddy. But that's okay. Timmy says it makes his family special."

Arizona smiled at her matter of fact explanation and even more at the fact that Callie had already told her young daughter that being gay was okay. It drew her to Callie all that much more. "I'm sure his family is very special and his daddies love him a lot. But your family is special, too." She was hoping Allegra would take the bait and follow the new line of discussion about her family.

"Oh course it is," Allegra said as if it was so obvious.

"Well, duh," Arizona played along. She then finished loading the dishwasher and closed the door. "So, should we go watch some TV until your mommy comes down?"

Allegra put her hands on her hips and looked up at Arizona. "You never answered my question."

_Fuck._ "Um, well, it's kind of complicated." She shifted a little uncomfortably but by Allegra's determined expression, she knew she was going to have to answer. "I'm dating someone, but I don't think I can call her my girlfriend."

Now Allegra frowned slightly. "Why not?"

Arizona took a deep breath and sighed. While she was good at talking with children, answering questions that really were so adult and intensely personal was something she really wasn't adept at. "Um, well, we just started dating. A girlfriend is a little more serious." _Not to mention she doesn't exactly exist. But I can't tell her I have an imaginary girlfriend. Well, okay, I probably could, but I can't risk Callie hearing that from her._

Allegra's frown didn't go away, it only deepened. "But my friend Megan says when you kiss a boy he is your boyfriend. You don't kiss her?"

_Oh God, at this rate I'll be telling her about the birds and the bees before long. Callie, where the hell are you? _She looked toward the hall where the stairs were, but Callie was nowhere to be found. "Well, yeah, but for adults it takes more than a kiss to be a girlfriend or boyfriend. It's just complicated adult stuff."

"Oh, okay," she said with a little disappointment in her voice. It was pretty obvious that she had heard the excuse that something was too adult before.

"Hey, so how about that TV? Maybe we can find some Dora?" Arizona said a silent prayer to whatever god may be out there that the lure of Dora would be enough to distract Allegra from the current topic.

That made her smile broadly. "We have Dora on the Tivo!"

_Oh thank God! _"Dora it is then!"

* * *

><p>Callie came down the steps and let out a sigh of relief. The boys had fought going to bed more than usual and it was obvious that it was their way of acting out. She imagined that there would be many more evenings like this until they got more used to the fact that their father wouldn't be there to tuck them in or be there when they woke up. It was probably the mildest form of acting out she would experience in the near future and all she could do was be understanding and loving with them until they began to accept this new reality in their young lives. It would be tough but she had faith that with enough hard work from both her and Owen, they would be better for it in the long run.<p>

She walked into the living room and smiled as she saw Allegra snuggled up next to Arizona on the couch. Her daughter was chatting about the episode of Dora they were watching. It was so adorable to see how Arizona had her arm wrapped around Allegra and how she would occasionally ask Allegra questions to make the little girl feel smart when she could easily answer. It was no wonder that Arizona had such an ease with children, but after hearing that the pediatric surgeon didn't want to have children of her own, Callie realized that was truly a shame. Arizona would be an amazing mother, without a doubt, and the fact that she seemed to have no interest in having children of her own seemed almost a crime. As she stood there, the episode they were watching came to an end and Callie called out, "Okay, I think it's time for my baby girl to get to bed."

"Mommy just one more. Please!" Allegra was already using the DVR remote to navigate through to the next episode and Callie cursed herself for the afternoon she spent teaching her daughter how the damned thing worked.

"No, sweetie, it's time for bed. In fact, it's past time for bed."

Allegra frowned and turned off the TV. "Oh, alright," she huffed as she walked over to Callie. Then she smiled broadly. "Mommy, did you know Arizona is dating a girl, but she's not her girlfriend?"

Callie just looked down at Allegra in surprise as her brain slowly dissected what her daughter had said. _She's dating a woman? And she didn't tell me?_ And then her thoughts snapped to earlier that day when she was trying to explain to Arizona what had happened the night before, or more correctly what hadn't happened. _Oh my God. I kept telling her I'm not gay. _Her eyes then shot up unbidden to meet Arizona's gaze, which was guarded at best. _Does she think I think that's wrong or something? She can't think that, right?_ Callie's heart was pounding as she dropped her eyes to the floor, unable to keep looking at Arizona. _She's dating a woman,_ she repeated to herself as she felt a wave of emotion hit her at that. For some reason in that moment all she wanted to do was meet this woman and talk her out of it, scare her away even, because she was sure that there was no way she was good enough for the peds surgeon. "Um, yeah," she finally stammered to her daughter, "I knew she was dating."

"Mommy, Arizona said they kiss but she's still not her girlfriend. I'm confused."

And now Callie's brain was filled with images of Arizona and this nameless, faceless woman kissing and her stomach screwed up in knots even as her heart ached for some unknown reason. She was experiencing such a whirl of emotions that it made her feel dizzy and Callie had to take several deep breaths to calm herself down, using the time to will the images out of her head and focus back on her daughter. "I'll explain it tomorrow," she said quietly.

"Callie," Arizona began to say.

Callie raised her hand to stop her but did not look up. She kept her focus on Allegra. "Sweetie, can you run upstairs and get ready for bed? Brush your teeth and put your pajamas on, okay? And make sure you put your dirty clothes in the hamper. I'll be up in a few minutes to tuck you in."

Allegra pouted slightly before turning to look back toward Arizona. "Good night," she almost huffed as she stomped out of the living room, obviously unhappy at being dismissed.

"Good night, Allegra," Arizona called out after the little girl.

After Allegra left, there was a long silence between the two women. It took Callie a few more long breaths before she cautiously looked up at Arizona, expecting to see anger or pain in her eyes, but there was only worry. "Today, what I said—"

"Callie, I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I was going to tell you tonight actually." She walked around the couch until she was standing in front of Callie. "I'm not a big fan of the whole coming out talk," she began, her words picking up speed into one of her rambling monologues. "I mean, really, you don't have to tell people you're straight, so the fact that I have to tell people I'm gay just seems so stupid. So, I usually don't. I just let it come up in conversation and it's more natural that way. And so I should have said something today when I told you I had a date last night. That was the right time to do it. And I don't know why I didn't, because I usually am pretty comfortable telling people that. But I'm sorry I didn't."

"But I had just gone on and on about how I wasn't coming on to you because I'm not gay." Callie's voice was quiet. She felt so embarrassed that she had said all that earlier in her office. It sounded so truly idiotic now.

"No, that's not it." Arizona shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "I'm not sure why I didn't," she added in almost a whisper.

"I'm okay with it," Callie began before realizing she still sounded somewhat idiotic. "I mean…" She let out a huge breath and then laughed quietly.

"It's okay. I know you're not anti-gay," Arizona said quickly. "Allegra first asked me if I had a boyfriend and when I said no she then asked if I had a girlfriend. The fact you've taught your daughter that and made sure she knows it is okay before she's even started kindergarten tells me a lot."

"Really?"

Arizona rolled her eyes and laughed quietly. "Yes, really."

Callie's smile was a little shy. "Thanks. Although I do feel like I put my foot in my mouth a little today."

"Stop it, okay? Just forget it."

Callie nodded and then fell silent. She wasn't sure what to say now. And the longer the silence stretched, the more her mind wandered back to that vision of Arizona kissing the faceless woman. There was this strange mix of interest and anger that bubbled deep in Callie and it made her more and more uncomfortable, to the point where she had to lower her eyes and look at the floor for fear that Arizona would be able to read those emotions on her face. Finally, she realized she needed to be out of the room. She just didn't know how to react to Arizona right then, because she couldn't narrow down what she was feeling. Her brain was just spinning way too fast to handle this right then. "Um, I should go tuck Allegra in."

"You know, it's getting late. I should probably just head home," Arizona said in response.

Part of Callie wanted Arizona to stay, just because she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. But that part of her that was confused and emotional and unsure of herself was larger right then and she knew that this was her chance to have some time to process all of this. Because if there was one thing Callie knew, it was that she needed time to think and let this new information sink in. "Yeah, you have to prepare for your surgery. I'll, um, well I guess I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, of course so."

Callie finally looked up at Arizona and saw this mixture of fear and pain in her blue eyes and knew she was at least partially to blame. This wishy-washy reaction she was giving had to be disconcerting, but she wasn't able to school her emotions enough to react any other way. "So, I'll see you then," she finally said.

"See you then," Arizona said as she walked past Callie and swiftly headed for the front door.

It took Callie a moment to react and by the time her feet finally followed her brain's command to go after Arizona and see her out, the pediatric surgeon was out the front door. All Callie could do was look out the side window and watch her almost run down the front steps of the porch out to her jeep in the driveway. When the vehicle pulled out and then disappeared into the darkness Callie let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "Holy fucking shit," she mumbled as her head fell against the window glass. "After she left last night she went on a date with a woman. She probably even slept with her." Her stomach clenched again and she felt her heart start to pound again.

"Why the hell am I so worked up about this?" It made no sense really. She had a number of gay friends over the year. Her favorite uncle, Umberto, was gay after all. And she'd never had this sort of reaction to finding out. Normally it didn't even faze her. But with Arizona it was like a bolt of lightning had hit her and her world had been flipped upside down. And that reaction worried her more than anything.

But instead of facing it, instead of trying to decode what she was feeling and thinking, she pushed it aside as best she could. She needed to get Allegra in bed and then turn in herself. Sleep would help her clear her mind so she could put this whole crazy day behind her and she could get on with her life and her budding friendship with Arizona. _It's not a problem and it won't ever be a problem. If Arizona finds a woman she loves then that is just fantastic and I'll be happy for her. She deserves to be happy. She needs to have those shadows chased from her face. Nothing would make me happier really._ But just at the edge of her mind there were a few doubts that nibbled at her confidence as much as she tried to pretend they didn't even exist.

TBC…


	14. Chapter 14

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** Thanks for the wonderful comments after the last chapter. I'm glad so many of you are enjoying the slow pacing. I'm loving torturing you all, of course, but will let you out of your misery at some point not so far in the future. Well it'll be a few chapters at least. I've got some things to do first of course!

*****Violence Warning***:** Okay, so there's some violence coming up in a future chapter. It's kinda violent and might be disturbing to some (I promise no sexual violence though). But part of the impact of it is that it's a little out of nowhere so I don't want to put a warning on the specific chapter because I think it will lessen the impact. I do realize that some people have triggers and such and wouldn't want to read something violent, so if you are one of those people, please PM me and I promise to give you a warning before I post it and a quick summary of what happens in the scene so you can either be prepared or skip it all together. If you don't allow PMs on your account here, be sure to send me an email address where you can be reached.

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

"Hey," Arizona said as she walked up to where Callie was writing in a chart. When she didn't get a response, she bumped her lightly with her hip. "Hey," she repeated.

"Hey," Callie replied without looking up and it was obvious from the expression on her face that she was trying hard to play her off.

Arizona sighed quietly as she thought back to their conversation the previous evening. It wasn't surprising for Callie to be caught off guard and Arizona truly understood that she might feel uncomfortable after she had emphatically—and Arizona had to admit rather adorably—rambled the previous day about how she wasn't gay only to find out that Arizona was later that day. But Arizona had been hoping that by this morning she'd be over it and they could get back to their friendship. "I thought you weren't scheduled for today."

"I swapped so now I'm off tomorrow," she replied, again without looking up.

"Oh, well, in that case, do you want to get some lunch?"

"I, um," Callie started but then paused and closed her eyes. Finally she looked up and just watched Arizona for a few long moments as if trying to decide something. Finally, she shook her head. "I can't. I have plans."

"Oh, okay," Arizona said, trying to bury her disappointment in nonchalance. "Maybe tomorrow? I only have one surgery tomorrow morning. We could meet up somewhere after that."

Callie's eyes dropped and Arizona had a sneaking suspicion she was about to be lied to. "I'm going to be busy tomorrow. Why don't you see if the per—" She stopped and then cautiously looked up at Arizona and there was pain swirling in her brown eyes. "Why don't you see if the woman you're dating is free?"

There was just a hint of bite to her words, but it was enough to tell Arizona so much. _She's jealous. But does she know she is? God I hope not._ Now that she saw the pain on Callie's face, she was having serious second thoughts about her plans to put the kibosh on Callie's attraction. _No, it's what is best for her. She needs to find someone who can truly love her and I can't be that person, even if she figures this out. No, it's just better this way. It might hurt her a little, but in the long run, it'll be best for her._ Arizona took a deep breath and said, "Her name is Rachel."

"Fine, have lunch with Rachel." Callie must have realized her words came out far more harshly than she meant, because she seemed to deflate and when she spoke again her voice was softer. "Sorry. I… Just sorry."

"No, it's okay. I get that our friendship has kind of gone from 0 to 60 in a few seconds and that's on top of your separation from Owen. It's a lot of new in your life all of a sudden." From the look in Callie's eyes, Arizona felt like she must be hitting the nail on the head. "If you need space, I'll give you that. And I'll be here when you want or need me to be. Does that sound good?"

Callie finally smiled, although there was a shadow of something sad or painful to it. "Thank you. Owen and I have a lot to iron out in the very near future, so I really need to concentrate on that."

"Oh, of course," Arizona said. She was relieved to find out that some of Callie's distance really was due to outside factors. That still didn't account for her obvious jealousy, of course, but it made it more likely that she just didn't have the time or energy to really figure out her feelings at the moment. _Maybe this will work._

"Okay, well I'll see you later then," Callie said as she closed the chart she had been annotating. She gave Arizona a weak smile and then left with the chart tucked under her arm.

Arizona watched her leave and then sighed quietly. _I have no idea what I'll do if this doesn't work. I'll hurt her far more if it doesn't._

"Please don't hurt her."

Arizona jumped at the male voice that echoed her thoughts. Owen was standing behind her, his pale eyes trained on her with such a look of sadness and regret that it tore at Arizona's heart. "What?"

"You two are obviously getting close. I've hurt her so much lately and want to make sure she has someone who can really be there for her." His eyes fell and he took a deep breath. "Callie doesn't let many people all the way in, but I can see you're getting there and quickly. And that means you'll really be able to hurt her. Please don't."

Arizona couldn't figure out if Owen realized that there was more to their relationship than simple friendship. _He can't see it can he? _ But even if he did, it didn't seem like he was angry about it, so that was a relief. It wasn't like anything was ever going to happen between her and Callie, but the idea that the man who recently punched an ER window could think there was and be angry about it terrified her. Luckily, instead it seemed like he was encouraging her to get closer to his soon-to-be ex-wife. "I'll try my hardest."

"Good," he said with a curt nod before turning and walking away.

She shook her head at the improbability of that conversation and then sighed. _ I need to get control back. My life is just off the rails right now and that will not do. Tonight it's time for Operation Find-a-Girlfriend and then I'll be able to focus my energy there while still being friends with Callie. It'll help. It has to or I am just fucked._

* * *

><p>Callie took a large gulp of the coffee she was carrying. She was drinking it black and strong, because she needed the extra jolt. She was even considering getting a Red Bull chaser. She was going to need the energy, because it would seem that finding out your new good friend is gay is reason enough to toss and turn all night with images of her dancing in your head.<p>

And for all the sleeplessness and the twenty or so things she'd bought while watching various shopping channels in the wee hours of the morning, she still had little to show for it. She had finally convinced herself that she was having what was akin to a schoolgirl crush, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Did adult women—adult straight women—get crushes on other women? If all her searches on the internet were to be believed, it would seem so, but she still was anxious about the answer. After all, everyone was always saying not to believe everything you read on the internet. And so she was going to have to resort to reaching out to the one person in the hospital, in her life in fact, that she could trust to be a discrete sounding board.

She knocked on Addison's office door and waited to be called inside. When she entered, she found her very pregnant friend sitting in one of the arm chairs she had on the far side of her spacious office. She had her shoes off and her feet propped up on the coffee table. She looked tired, but who wouldn't be with everything going on in her life? "Sorry, I was napping. I've become suddenly exhausted the last few days."

"I guess the baby is sucking up tons of energy while he still can."

"Maybe. So what's up? You don't look so perky yourself."

Callie sighed as she basically collapsed into the other armchair. "I didn't sleep a wink last night."

"Problem with the kids or divorce stress?" Addison sat up and took her feet off the table.

"I wish it was either of those. Can I ask you a slightly personal question?" She held up her hand to stop Addison from answering too quickly. "You can say no once I ask and I won't be hurt or mad."

Addie's eyebrow rose inquisitively. "Okay, now I'm both curious and afraid. But go ahead and ask."

Callie thought for a moment about how to phrase her question, but finally decided to go for the direct approach. "Have you ever had a crush on a woman? I mean, like since puberty, not when you were in first grade and crushing on your teacher. But like a full-fledged adult crush where you can't get her off your mind. So, um, have you?"

"Well since I'm now dying to know who you have a crush on, I'll answer. And let's just state the obvious that this is just between us, right?"

"Oh, of course. I know I can trust you not to gossip or I wouldn't be here. And I hope you know you can trust me." Callie really did believe Addison would keep her confidences and she would need it.

"Yes, I have. Sophomore year in college I developed a huge crush on my resident assistant, Megan. Megan and I became really close friends and somewhere along the way I realized my heart would pound hard when she came in the room and I was thinking about her all the time. She was dating this guy who lived upstairs and I hated him so much for it. I have to admit when she came to me in tears when they broke up I was relieved."

Callie's heart started to beat faster as she recognized so much from Addie's story as being familiar. "Did you ever do anything about it?"

Addie nodded. "About two weeks before finals that spring, she and I went to a party, got pretty drunk, and came back to the dorm. We went to her room, one thing led to another and next thing you know we were making out."

Callie's eyes went wide as she leaned forward, totally enthralled by the story. "What happened?"

Addison laughed. "Can I get you some popcorn?"

Callie realized how rapt she must appear and laughed even as a blush rose to her cheeks. "Sorry."

"No worries," Addison added with a brief smile. "Not much else happened that night. As I sobered up, I realized it wasn't really doing it for me. I mean, it was nice, but I wasn't getting really as turned on as I would have if I'd been with a guy I was attracted to. I went back to my room and cried, because I figured I'd screwed up our friendship. And I had."

"That's so sad," Callie said as she immediately thought about Arizona and how important their friendship was becoming. That was the most important thing for her, far more important than any crush or feelings she may or may not be having.

"Yeah, things were awkward and then suddenly the year was over and she graduated and left. We never talked after that." Addie sighed heavily. "In retrospect, I think she might have been that person who is your true best friend, the one that just gets you. And we blew it by confusing our feelings of friendship for more. I blew it really, since I was the one who kissed her first. I don't think she ever would have started something between us, so it was my fault."

"I'm so sorry," Callie said, feeling such empathy for what Addison must have gone through. _It's so similar it's almost eerie._

"Thanks," Addie said quietly before the hint of a smile turned up one corner of her mouth. "Sound familiar at all? Come on, who is it?" She paused for a second and then her eyes went wide. "It's Arizona, isn't it?"

Callie let her head fall into her hands. "Yes," she practically whined.

"Well she is really attractive. She's got those eyes and the dimples. And she's nice and smart." It almost sounded like she was encouraging this.

Callie sighed heavily. "I'm really not sure what I'm feeling, but a few times we've touched and it's been like being shocked, but in a good way. But even that didn't clue me in. Then last night I found out she's dating a woman and I got jealous. Really jealous. At least that's the conclusion I came to around 4am. I already knew she was dating someone and that didn't bother me, but as soon as I found out that someone was a woman…" She trailed off, unable to really articulate what was churning through her. "I just saw her a few minutes ago and practically bit her head off. I mean what do I do?"

"You need to figure out what you're really feeling."

Callie felt the frustration rising in her and she just wanted to scream. "This just doesn't make any sense to me. I'm 36 and I've never been attracted to a woman. Never. Men are my thing. I'm straight. How does a straight woman develop a huge crush on a woman?"

"Maybe you're bisexual? You know sexuality isn't that cut and dry." Addison reached over and put a gentle hand on Callie's arm. "Would it be so bad to realize something new about yourself? I like to think of that as growth personally."

"I don't know." She groaned in frustration. "I don't like not knowing what's going on with me. I mean this is probably just an emotional crush. I'm vulnerable right now, she's been there for me, and she's all new and shiny. She's probably just meant to be, you know, my person. Like Megan was supposed to be for you. She's just an emotional crush. That's all." When she laid it all out like that it sort of made sense.

"If you say so," Addie said, but she didn't sound so convinced.

Callie stood up abruptly. "I'm straight, Addison. I like men. I like how they are strong and can yet have this tenderness about them. Well some of them anyway. I like how safe I feel when I'm wrapped up in a guy's arms. And, dammit, I like penis-vagina sex!"

"There are always strap-ons."

"Addison!"

"I'm just saying." Addison looked up at Callie and frowned. "You just said a lot, but you know what you didn't say? You didn't say you love any of those things."

"Okay, I love men. I love Owen for instance." As soon as she said that, she knew she was setting herself up.

"Because he's your friend. Because he's the father of your children." Addison gave her the 'no bullshitting allowed' look. "Were you ever truly in love with him? Or with anyone for that matter?"

Callie's shoulders slumped. "No, not really. I guess if I hadn't gotten pregnant we probably wouldn't have lasted that much longer." Callie groaned loudly and wiped at her face in frustration. "Okay, so maybe I've never really been head over heels in love with someone. Man or woman. Maybe I'm not capable of it."

"Or maybe you haven't met the right person, the right woman, yet."

Callie shook her head as she struggled to put her thoughts and feelings together. It was frustrating because it all felt so foreign, so unlike herself to be experiencing these emotions and not be able to nail this down. And then to have Addison continuing to egg her on was not helping. "You and your devil's advocate are so annoying," she said with just enough humor to take the sting from her words. "I appreciate you listening and offering advice, I really do. And it's helped some, but I need to just figure this out on my own I guess."

"Okay, well I'm here and so is my devil's advocate if you need us. And whatever you decide, I'll support you all the way." She got up from her chair and walked over to give Callie a rather uncharacteristic hug. "We soon-to-be divorcees need to stick together."

Callie hugged her back. "Thanks. You know, I kind of like the new us—all talking about what's really going on and not sweeping it under the rug and stuff. It's a nice change."

Addison took a step back and smiled. "Who knew how freeing it would be?"

Callie just shook her head with a chuckle. "Well, thanks again but I better go. Go back to napping." She waved goodbye and left Addison's office. However, once outside she took a deep breath and frowned. _What the hell am I going to do?_ She yawned then and shook her head to try to chase away the desire to just sleep. _One thing I'm going to do is get some sleep. Maybe drink myself into a stupor and just pass out. I just want a night without thoughts and worries. No Arizona, no divorce, no work. Just sleep. Glorious sleep._

She turned to head toward her office only to see Arizona walk down the cross hall. She felt her stomach clench and her heart start to beat harder. Once she had passed by, Callie let out a huge sigh of relief. Having to talk to Arizona right then was the last thing she wanted to do. She glanced at her watch and winced, knowing it would be a few hours until she could reach the relative safety outside the hospital. _Three hours. I just need to hide for three hours. And then I've got a date with Jose Cuervo. _

TBC…

_A/N: On the off chance you don't know, Jose Cuervo is a brand of tequila._


	15. Chapter 15

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** I'm sorry for the delay. I've been struggling with some seriously sucky-ness in my life and I find it really hard to write about characters that are heading toward happiness when I'm far from it. But I don't want to let this down time last too long, so here's an update. And I promise to get the next chapter up soon, since I'm pretty sure most of you won't like this one much. It's already written out on paper, so I just need to find the time and motivation to type it up. Hopefully in a few days. And the chapter after that is about 2/3rds written out, too, so with any luck I'll get three chapters up this week.

All the comments have been great so far. I really do appreciate it and it helps perk my crappy mood up. Okay, so that's really why I'm positing today. I need some comments folks!

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><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

Arizona stood outside Sappho's and looked down at her phone. She so wanted to call Callie and check on her. _But you told her you'd give her space._ Calling seemed like not giving space, but a text might be okay. _Then she can answer when she has time. That's definitely space._

She thought for a moment before typing out the message. _Hey. Just wanted to say hi while still keeping the space thing in place. I hope you're doing okay. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you._

She sent it off without any pause, because she was afraid she might second guess herself if she did. She then waited, hoping to get a return message, but her phone remained silent. She tapped her foot impatiently as minutes went by and yet nothing. _Well I did want to give her space._

Just as she was about to give up waiting, her phone rang and she sighed when she looked at the caller ID. "Hi, Erica," she said very unenthusiastically as she answered the call.

"Good to hear from you, too," Erica replied with a quiet laugh.

"Sorry, I was hoping you were someone else."

"Callie Torres, perhaps?" Erica's laughter was louder now. "You've got it bad for her, don't you?"

"Erica," Arizona warned.

"Okay, I get that you don't like that I'm bothering you about this, but seriously, shit or get off the pot. Pining for her is not becoming."

Arizona sighed loudly. "I'm working on it."

"Oh? Are you going to go to her place and kiss her like she's never been kissed and profess your undying love?"

Arizona closed her eyes and let that vision fill her mind. If only she could. "No."

Erica groaned loudly. "And why not? Give me three good reasons. Just three. You do that and I'll leave you alone."

Arizona sighed loudly. "I'm going to hold you to that. Okay, so the first is she's straight."

"Why don't you let her decide that?"

"She's straight," Arizona reiterated. "Two, she has kids and is still technically married."

"She's getting a divorce and you love kids," Erica countered. "I mean you've built your fucking career on kids."

"Other people's kids that I operate on and then hopefully never see again." Arizona shook her head and wondered why she was playing this game with Erica. She'd find a reason to knock down any argument Arizona could throw up, after all. "I don't want to be a step mother."

"For the right woman, you would do it and you know it. Okay, got a third half-assed reason?"

"I don't do commitment. And she's a commitment kind of girl. I might be able to date short term, but Sandy stole my commitment from me."

"You give that bitch too much power."

Arizona stomped her foot in frustration. "I loved her and trusted her. We were going to make a life together. How can I believe that another woman—a woman who would be in a relationship with a woman for the first time mind you—won't freak and run for the hills? Or that something won't come up and she'd have to understandably choose her kids over me?" She felt tears well in her eyes and her voice trembled when she added, "I can't go through that again, okay?"

There was a pause on the other end. "You can tell me to fuck off again, but it needs to be said. You are a coward, Arizona Robbins. You're miserable and alone and the only way that will change is if you take a risk. You'll be one of those bitter old cat ladies if you don't change."

"I'm allergic to cats."

"Fine, dog lady or chickens or pigs or something. Arizona, take a chance for once."

Arizona closed her eyes and let out a quiet sigh. She wanted to, but it just wasn't that easy. And as much as she wanted to take it out on Erica, she knew she was right. But she just couldn't risk it with Callie. She couldn't be Arizona's experiment to see if she could trust again. "I'm at Sappho's looking for someone I could actually date, okay? So, is that acceptable?"

"Really? Like more than one night in the sack dating?"

"I believe that's the definition." Arizona was losing her patience with this game and was about to stop giving Erica the benefit of the doubt.

"Yes, that's acceptable. I hope you find someone that will help you get over Torres. For both of our sakes."

_Me too._ She looked at the bar, noting a steady stream of women going in. "Okay, well, I'll tell you how it goes. Bye, Erica."

"Bye."

She hung up and glanced down at her phone to make sure she hadn't missed a call or text from Callie, but she hadn't. With a quick shake of her head at how ridiculous she was being, she shoved the phone in her pocket and went into the bar.

It was relatively busy for a weeknight, which meant there was a better chance of having multiple options on her quest to find a real girlfriend. She wandered over to the bar and nodded to the bartender. "Hey, Betsy, what's the scoop tonight?"

Betsey smiled as she mixed up Arizona's cranberry and vodka. "Mostly the usual, but I did notice a pretty brunette that I haven't seen before. She's dancing with Ali right now."

Arizona took the drink when it was offered and turned to survey the dance floor as she sipped from the tiny straw. There were only a few women out there this early so it was easy to spot Alison, one of the other weekday regulars at the bar, dancing overly close with the brunette, who looked uncomfortable at best. The woman was definitely attractive, with long wavy brown hair, dark eyes, and just the right amount of curves. _And she's clearly got decent taste by the look on her face. Ali sure wouldn't be my first choice of dance partners in this place. Probably not even my last._

She waited for the song to end and then went over to the two of them, intent on extracting the new woman from Alison. "Hey, how have you been?" she asked the brunette, trying to act like they were old friends.

To her credit, it only took the woman a few seconds to join in the ploy. "Good. Wow, it's been a while, huh?"

Alison looked at Arizona and let out an exasperated breath before leaving without a word.

"You looked like you weren't having a good time," Arizona explained.

"You were right. And thank you." The woman smiled and Arizona was surprised to see how her entire face lit up. "I'm Heather, by the way."

"Arizona."

"That's an interesting name."

Arizona motioned toward a nearby table. "Have a drink with me and I'll be happy to tell you all about it."

They sat and talked for a few minutes with Arizona first explaining how she was named after a battleship and then a little about their jobs. Arizona was relieved to find out Heather was a lawyer, because if this woman was going to be potential girlfriend material, it would be easier to date someone with a similar financial and educational background. Not that she would dismiss someone out of hand because of their job, but it was certainly one less area of potential conflict.

After they each finished their drinks, they got up to dance. They were having a good time, laughing and bouncing along to the beat, when Heather suddenly stopped and her eyes went wide. "Oh, shit."

Arizona looked over her shoulder in the direction Heather was staring and saw an extremely tall and muscular blonde walking toward them. "Heather, where have you been?" the woman asked when she got closer.

"What are you doing here?" Heather asked heatedly.

The woman brushed past Arizona like she wasn't even there and stood in front of Heather. "You haven't answered the phone or my emails. You're never home when I come by. Or is it that you just don't answer the door? I just want to talk, to try to make things right."

"Jordan, there's nothing to say. We broke up. It's over. Now can you just leave me alone?"

Heather turned to walk away, but Jordan grabbed her arm. "Wait."

Arizona stepped around Jordan and got between the two of them, which was a little ridiculous, since she was at least three inches shorter than either of them. "Let her go," she warned, puffing out her chest and putting on her best playground fighter face.

Jordan looked down at Arizona. "Who the fuck are you?"

Heather shook free of Jordan's grasp and then took Arizona's hand. "Just leave us be, Jordan. We have nothing to say to you. Come on, Arizona, let's get out of here."

Jordan's green eyes were daggers as they looked down at Arizona for a few seconds before she turned her back and stalked off toward the bar. Arizona let out a sigh of relief and turned to Heather. "Your ex is a real charmer."

"Yeah, well, let's get out of here before she comes back to charm us some more."

They collected their coats and ducked out the front door. Arizona led Heather around the corner in the direction of her car. "Where are you parked?" she asked when they were safely out of sight of the front door.

"I took a cab."

"Oh, well, then we can go in my car if you want."

When there were both seated in the Jeep, Arizona waited to see if Heather would say anything, but she remained silent so Arizona finally asked, "Do you want me to take you home?"

"Could we go somewhere else, maybe? I'm afraid she'll show up at my place if I go home." There was tension in her voice and on her face.

"Did she hurt you at all? Is that why you're afraid?" Arizona had seen enough domestic violence in her line of work to be sensitive to even the hint of it.

"No, Jordan's not violent. Not at all. She's just a little, I don't know, controlling I guess. She's a cop, so she's used to being the one in charge. I was a little too independent for her. And as you can see, she's tenacious. She doesn't like to lose."

Arizona rolled her eyes. "I'd say that's an understatement." She looked at Heather, trying to determine what to do next. She seemed like a decent person—smart, funny, nice, and definitely beautiful—probably exactly the sort of woman she would risk dating. And Arizona had to admit she was interested in her. She couldn't help but smile at Heather. Sure, she wasn't Callie—nobody was—but she had the potential to be a close substitute, and that was enough, probably more than that. "Maybe this is a little forward and feel free to tell me if it is, but would you like to go to my place? We could have a drink and just talk."

Heather bit at her lip and then a small smile edged on to her lips. "I'd like that."

"Okay, then," Arizona said as her own smile grew. She turned the key in the ignition and looked out of the front windshield, catching sight of Jordan standing on the street corner looking around, obviously trying to track down Heather. "Let's go," she said and quickly turned the car in the opposite direction.

* * *

><p>Callie swirled the amber liquid in her shot glass before tossing it back in one gulp. It was her second shot and she was starting to feel the effects. She was glad she had decided to get a room at the Archfield and drink in the hotel bar. She had made a point of letting the bartender know her room number so that he could get make sure she got back in one piece if she got too drunk. And she fully intended to get too drunk. "I'll have another, Diego," she said to the bartender.<p>

"You can charge that to my room. And bring me one, too."

The man's voice to Callie's left shoulder was deep and when she turned to look at him, she found a handsome man who strangely reminded her of a slightly older Avery, with longer hair and a mischievous glint to his green eyes. "I guess a thank you is in order."

"My pleasure." He lifted his shot glass when it was placed in front of him and held it out for a toast. "To chance encounters."

Callie felt a shiver go through her as she recognized the look in his eyes. She'd seen it enough in her life before she started sporting the large wedding ring she'd worn for almost five years. Now as she rubbed her naked ring finger, she missed the security it had brought her. While there was something alluring in the desire that played in the man's green eyes, there was also something dangerous there, too. She'd forgotten how to play this cat and mouse game of flirtation with a stranger, and had to admit she'd never been all that comfortable with it in the first place. But finally she decided to throw caution to the wind. _There's nothing wrong with flirting. He's attractive. And I like guys. I definitely like guys. Actually, he's downright hot even. Might as well enjoy this. It'll be good practice for after the divorce when I want to start dating again. Yeah, just look at this as practice._ She lifted her own glass and tapped his. "I'll drink to that." She drained the shot glass and placed it gently back on the bar. "So, do you have a name, chance encounter?"

He smiled and his eyes crinkled in merriment. "Brian. You?"

"Callie." She took a moment to take him in a little more carefully, noticing his neat suit and the obviously fit physique that filled it out just right. He was a few inches taller than she, which she always considered to be the perfect height for a man. And he had those incredible eyes, too. "What brings you to the Archfield, Brian?"

"Business," he answered as he waved to the bartender for refills. "I'm the owner of a small computer consulting firm. I'm here for some meetings with various clients." He tilted his head slightly and smiled. "You?"

Callie ran her finger around the edge of the new shot glass full of tequila that had appeared. "I'm here to drink."

"You're just here to drink? So you're from Seattle, then?"

Callie realized she was playing with fire here. _Dammit, what are you doing, Callie?_ But then she thought about her discussion with Addison earlier. _I need answers. Lots and lots of answers._ She shrugged and kept playing along. "Yeah, but I'm a big fan of the bar here for some reason. You tend to meet all kinds of interesting people that are passing through." She had to admit she was out of practice when it came to flirting, so she wasn't sure if that came out as suggestive or not. Part of her hoped it did, but another part didn't.

Brian's eyebrow rose and he moved in a little closer, giving her the answer. "I like to think I'm interesting."

"Oh you do, huh?" she laughed quietly. _Certainly not as interesting as…_ She stopped herself from finishing that thought, not wanting to think of beautiful blue eyes or adorable dimples or silky blonde locks. _Stop it. Just stop it._ She cursed at herself for letting her mind go there and took a deep breath to get the image out of her head.

"We could go back to my room and I could prove it to you." His voice was low as his eyes held hers unwaveringly.

And that was where she had to decide whether to follow through or run. She could walk away, go up to her room, and hopefully pass out, perhaps with some help from the mini-bar. That would give her a night's reprieve from the questions and doubts that constantly peppered her mind like some insane Greek chorus. Tomorrow would come, though, and those voices would return along with the doubts and fears. Or she could take this chance that maybe, just maybe, Brian could help her answer whether she like—no loved—men, or at the very least sex with men. _I don't really have any other option, do I? It's not like I can call Owen up for a booty call and, besides, there is too much history there even if he agreed. This would be clean, without baggage, but wouldn't it also be wrong? My God, it would be so wrong. I asked Owen not to sleep with Cristina after all, and even without that, it'd still be cheating. Doing this would make me a hypocrite. Right?_

But hypocrite or no, she needed answers and so her brain did what it so often did, aided no doubt by all the alcohol. It rationalized. _Owen cares for Cristina. That would be emotional cheating as well as physical. And what is worse, emotionally cheating on someone you swore a vow to before God, or having meaningless sex with a stranger? This is just a fact finding mission. It doesn't mean anything. And if I don't find some answers soon, I'm going to go crazy, and then I won't be able to be a good mother, a good doctor. No, I need these answers and I need them now._ Just the smallest part of her brain screamed out that this was all bullshit, but she slammed down the last shot of tequila sitting in front of her in the hopes of drowning out the voice in her head and smiled at Brian. "That sounds like a great idea."

Brian smiled and offered his arm to her. She stood, wobbling for a moment thanks to all the tequila before regaining her balance. Without a further word, she let him lead her to the elevator.

_Time to get some answers._

* * *

><p>TBC…<p>

A/N: I promise the story picks up in the morning. I'm not writing Callie having sex with a stranger or Arizona "talking" with Heather (cause you know that isn't all they did). And, with morning, there will be answers, and decisions, and progress being made (and one monster of a hangover). Tomorrow in their world will be quite eventful. I promise!


	16. Chapter 16

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore.

**A/N****:** Well, okay, so I had my story time off in my last author's note. The good stuff starts today (aka the morning after all their sex with strangers), but the rest of it actually happens tomorrow. Still doesn't matter that much because things are starting to move forward…really and truly. I promise!

And, yes, I know Arizona is kind of going in circles. But then again, there are those of us who live in a constant pity party so I figure some of you might just get it. And it won't last THAT long!

And thanks for all the comments and positive words (yeah, I don't think it will get better soon, but glad total strangers are being positive!). My mood is mildly better because of it!

And chapter 17 will be up by this weekend. It's already written, just needs some editing and to be typed up.

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

Arizona pounded on Mark's door and impatiently waited. When he finally opened the door, damp from the shower and wearing only a towel around his waist, she brushed past him and went into his living room. Once collapsed on his couch she said to him, "I'm done with women."

"If you're asking if I'm available, sadly no." He laughed as she perched on the arm of the couch. "That hot brunette you brought home last night ruined you, huh?"

"Spying on me?"

"Um, no, you were both louder than I'm sure you intended—both in the hallway and in your bed. Or was it the couch, the kitchen, the—"

"Stop, Mark," Arizona said with a groan. "She was great, actually, well above average. Smart, funny, interesting. All the things I'd look for in someone to date. But…"

"But, she's not Torres." He stated it with such certainty.

"She's not Callie," Arizona conceded.

"So, when are you going to tell her?"

Arizona shook her head. "I'm not. Callie deserves to be loved. She needs someone she can build a life with. She's got kids to worry about. The last thing she needs is to take a chance on her first relationship with a woman, with me of all people. I'm a time bomb of fear and insecurity just waiting to go off. I care about her too much to put her through that."

"Wow," Mark said with a shake of his head and a quiet laugh. "Are you sure you're not my long lost twin or something?"

"What?"

"It's just you sound like I did only a few weeks ago. I swore I was the last thing Addie and our baby needed because I'm not someone who commits to anything or anyone. I thought I was thinking of them when I told her I didn't want to be in their lives, but really I was only thinking of myself." He slid down on to the couch next to her and mimicked her position by leaning his elbows on his knees. "But then I realized that she's carrying my son. And as long as I try, that's all I can do. I might end up hurting them. I might not. But I won't know unless I try, right?"

"It's not that simple, Mark. Callie isn't pregnant with my kid. I can still be there for her, be her friend, care about her. But I can't be what she needs in a relationship." She shook her head resolutely.

"Damn, for someone with such shitty self-esteem, you sure are confident in your ability to read her mind." He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "Let her decide what she wants and needs."

Hot tears stung her eyes. Part of her wanted to, but she still was so afraid. What if she told Callie how she felt and she rejected Arizona? Or what would happen if they tried and failed? Arizona had gone so long toiling through life mostly on her own and now she had finally found a friend she felt she could lean on. The thought of risking that on the off chance a relationship with a woman who may or may not be discovering a new part of her sexuality just seemed like too big of a chance. She wasn't sure she could survive it if things didn't work out, let alone if she were rejected. How could she go to work each day, sit through staff meetings or team with her for surgeries knowing the one good friendship she had had in years was blown because of rolling the dice on something that was likely doomed from the start?

And it wasn't like she had many options for other jobs. She still heard the rumblings from colleagues that her blacklisting was not truly over. Top pediatric jobs were hard enough to find, but when the majority of the best hospitals in the country wouldn't even give her the time of day, she would be doomed if she tried. And working in Anchorage or bum-fuck Idaho wasn't exactly her idea of career advancement. No, she had no other choice. If she wanted to keep Callie as a friend and a colleague, that was all she could ever be. "What about what I want and need? I need her in my life, Mark. I need her friendship and her support. I need her love for me as a friend far more than I need her desire for me as a lover. It's just not worth the risk."

Mark shook his head. "You really don't understand relationships at all, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

He let out a quiet sigh. "Did you and Sandy have a real relationship or was it just a long standing sexual tryst? Did you talk? Could you eat a meal in silence, just content to be in each other's company? Could you trust that the other person would love you no matter your faults?"

Arizona was getting frustrated and not the least bit defensive with his accusations. "I know what a relationship is, Mark."

"Do you? Because it sounds to me like you think it's just a friendship with a recurring booty call. You won't get the same emotional relationship out of Callie just by not sleeping with her. What about the intimacy you'll miss out on? And I'm not just talking about knowing where all her moles are or where to touch her to get her to call out your name. I'm talking about emotional intimacy." He looked at her as if he felt sorry for her. "Friends are great, they're wonderful, but they aren't the same as a romantic relationship, a true partnership." He raised an eyebrow in challenge to her.

"Maybe I've had too much intimacy lately and it's lost its impact. Maybe not your emotional intimacy, but sexual at least. I think I just need a break." She nodded her head as she decided that was the right thing to do. "No one-nighters, no sex, no trying to find a girlfriend just to help forget Callie. Cold turkey. I need a break to get some clarity."

Mark started to laugh. "Do you really think your resolve to bury your Torres feelings is going to be helped by being horny all the time?"

"I can take care of that myself, Mark."

Mark's eyes went wide and a grin creased his face. "Now there's an enticing image."

"Mark!" She slapped his arm hard, but couldn't help but smile at antics.

"Hey, I'm a guy and you're a hot lesbian. You can only expect me to resist my nature for so long."

She worked to hide her smile and rolled her eyes, before finally laughing. "You are really such a guy!"

"Guilty as charged," he said as he laughed along with her. "So, celibacy, huh? Well, good luck with that." He took a breath and then shook his head. "No, not good luck. Do you realize how completely illogical this all is? You're grasping at straws, doing everything you can to avoid your feelings for her. And the longer you fight this, the more it's going to hurt you. And her. Quit being such a damned martyr. It's not your job to decide what is good for Torres. She's an adult. Let her decide. And start looking out for yourself while you're at it. Being miserable, alone, and celibate isn't going to save you any pain. It'll just hurting you every single day."

"Are you done?" She didn't want to hear this, not now when she'd made up her mind on a new course of action.

"Yes."

"Okay, good. I'm an adult, too, and I'll make my own decisions about my life. If I want to be alone, I'll be alone. And if I want to date, I'll date."

"Now you're just being obstinate."

She stood up. "No, I'm not."

Mark stood up too and got into her face. "You are. And, fine, make your own damned decisions, but don't come over here looking for a sounding board or approval. You want to be alone? You want to be miserable? Then do it alone!"

Arizona's mouth dropped open in surprise at Mark's harsh rebuke. It was the last thing she had expected from her new friend. And she was far from ready to counter the argument so she shook her head and then just stormed out of his apartment, slamming the door shut behind her.

It wasn't until she was in her own bedroom, stuffing a change of clothes into her bag for after work that she stopped and took a breath. "He can't understand," she muttered to herself. "No one can." And then the voice inside her head, the one that tried to reason with her baser instincts to run and hide from the pain in her life, whispered, _How can he when even you won't try to understand?_ She shook her head to chase away the voice and slid her feet into her pumps. The quicker she got to work, the quicker she could distract herself from all the confusion in her life. And if she was going to try this celibacy strategy to clear her head and get herself to a place where she could maybe start from scratch, she was going to need a whole heap of distraction.

* * *

><p>Callie's head pounded in time with her heart as she struggled to focus on the text message on her phone. She blinked a few times before looking up to confirm she was standing in front of the right room. She knocked lightly, but even that amount of noise seemed to compound the pain in her skull. <em>That's the last time I drink like that. I can't believe I did that. But even worse what I did afterward.<em> She had no idea whether her nausea was a result of the hangover or her conscience reacting to sex with a stranger. _Drunken sex no less._

Addison opened the door, dressed in a hotel-monogrammed robe, and concern lacing her brow. "You look like shit."

"Not so loud," Callie groaned as she trudged past Addie and crawled onto the bed. "I fucked up."

"Oh, do tell," Addie said as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I came here last night to drink. I figured if I could just get a little alcohol—okay a lot of alcohol—on board, I could just crash and forget it all. I even got a room here for the night so I wouldn't have to worry about driving or a cab. So I was downstairs drinking and I met this guy. I can't even remember his name."

"Oh Callie, you didn't."

"I did," Callie answered with a whining sigh.

Addison was silent for a few moments and then she asked, "Did you get any answers?"

"Huh?"

"Well," she drew out, "I assume you didn't have sex with a total stranger because you thought it would be fun. I think I know you a little better than that."

"Of course not. I shouldn't have done it at all. I made Owen promise he wouldn't have sex with Cristina until after our divorce is final and then here I go and break our vows with a total stranger. Even though we're separated, those vows are still valid." Callie felt sick all over again as she put words to her guilt.

"Okay, first off, Cristina? That has got to be pretty much the oddest pairing possible. But second, if he and Cristina are dating then there's emotion involved. You just had fact-finding sex. It didn't mean anything. So it's different."

"Fact-finding sex? What the hell are you talking about?" Her brain was not firing on all cylinders and she needed Addison to be more specific.

Addie sighed quietly and looked a little exasperated. "You mean to tell me, deep down, you didn't sleep with him so you could figure out if you're really attracted to guys? Or try to convince yourself you're not attracted to Arizona?"

Callie closed her eyes and tried to push Addie's words away, even though she vaguely remembered thinking the same thing the night before when she was deciding whether to go with the guy to his room. "You're right," she finally admitted quietly.

"And?"

Callie thought back to the encounter—at least to what she could remember—and groaned as the memories gave her the answer. "The man had serious skills, probably better than any man I've been with and yet…" It was hard to admit that she had all these new insights into herself and how scary that was.

"Just say it," Addison gently prodded.

"I couldn't stop thinking about her—how much softer she'd be, how I'm sure she'd know exactly how to touch me, how much…" She swallowed hard and then finally barely whispered, "How much I wanted to be touching her and not him." She put her hands over her face. "Oh, God, does that make me gay?"

"Or bi or whatever. Are labels really all that important? Especially at the beginning?"

Callie peeked out from between her fingers and looked up at Addison. "I guess not." She finally sat up gingerly and waited for the pounding in her head to subside. "What am I going to do?"

"Well, first I think you need to come to terms with this. Learn to accept this new part of yourself." She smiled. "You know, become one with your new woman-loving self."

Callie couldn't help but laugh, even though it made her head hurt. "That's very Zen of you."

"Well," Addie said with a shrug, "it must be the Buddha belly." She rubbed her very pregnant stomach.

Callie's laughter continued for a moment, but then she became more serious. "Okay, I can do this. I can be okay with this. I mean, sure my family will be less than thrilled and Owen will probably think I want the divorce because I'm now a lesbian—"

"He won't think that," Addie cut in. "He's way more enlightened than that. Besides, it's not like you don't have plenty of good reasons to want a divorce without the whole Arizona thing."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She took a deep breath before letting out a sigh. "Arizona is dating someone. I can't just tell her I'm suddenly attracted to her and expect her to fall for me. She's probably not even attracted to me."

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Addie's eyebrow went up in challenge. "Okay, maybe not today," she added quickly with a laugh. "But on most days? You're gorgeous. And I'm saying that purely as a straight woman. I can't imagine any lesbian in her right mind would pass you up."

"Attraction is way more than looks. And she doesn't want kids, which granted is odd for a peds surgeon, but still I've got three of them. Toddlers no less. And I don't know anything about dating women. She probably wants someone who's experienced. Hell, I don't even know who pays on a date or who asks who out or anything like that. This is hopeless," Callie said while thrown her arms up in exasperation.

"You won't know if you don't ask." Addison put a steadying hand on Callie's arm. "Look, just take it easy at first, okay? Get used to this, spend time with her, feel her out a little. You could try flirting with her and see how she reacts. Maybe she isn't attracted to you, in which case she's an idiot not worthy of you anyway. Or maybe she is and this could be the most amazing relationship you've ever had. Don't put up roadblocks before you even start down the road, okay?"

Callie knew Addie was right. It was just that his was all so new and scary. She didn't like to feel out of control and right now that was how she felt in spades. She just needed a little time to stop running away from this and start walking toward it. "You're right. Thanks for talking sense to me."

Addie laughed quietly. "The Buddha knows all."

Callie joined in the laughter as she patted Addie's stomach affectionately. "Thanks, Buddha." Her laughter increased but then brought a renewed pounding to her head. "Ow!"

Addison got more serious. "Go sleep it off."

Callie stood and took a moment before she felt steady on her feet. "Sounds like a plan." She started for the door.

"Callie?"

She turned back. "Yeah?"

Her friend smiled brightly. "I'm really excited for you and this new chapter in your life."

Callie thought about it for a moment before returning the smile. "Me too."

TBC…


	17. Chapter 17

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** So glad you guys like the progress we're starting to make. Sure, Arizona is being stubborn (and idiotic), but I can't make this too easy, right? And, yes, I'm actually a Mark fan (I know, call me crazy), so getting to make him a little less man-whore and a little more wise in this story is fun. And I adore Addie, too, so I love getting to have the two of them being the sounding boards.

So, a little more progress in this chapter! Hope you like it. I don't have chapter 18 written out yet (and it's a BIGGIE) so it might be a few days or even a week until it's up, but it'll be worth the wait. I promise.

Thanks as always for all the wonderful comments.

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

Callie arrived to an empty conference room and at first thought she had the time for the morning staff meeting wrong. After all, she had been a little distracted of late, between the divorce and working through all these new and—she had to admit—wonderful feelings for Arizona. She glanced up at the wall clock and realized that she had simply gotten there a little earlier than normal. Not that she really minded, because she had some paperwork she could look over in the meantime. It was amazing how having just one day off could lead to a backlog. And it wasn't even a day well spent, since most of it had seen her nursing her hangover and the lingering guilt of sleeping with a stranger. While the hangover was gone, the guilt remained. _And the worst part is I feel like I not only betrayed Owen, but Arizona, too._

As if her thoughts had any power, the door opened and her husband entered followed by the woman who was haunting her every thought. There was a moment as she entered when their eyes met and Callie felt her heart skip a beat. And then Arizona gave her a hesitant smile that instantly brought a more genuine one to Callie's lips. That smile seemed to allay Arizona's reserve, because she confidently walked over to take her seat next to Callie. "Good morning," she offered in greeting.

"Hi there," Callie answered as she turned to Arizona, only to be interrupted by Owen's voice as he sat in his chair.

"Ethan's got a stomach bug, so he's at home with my mom."

Callie's concern for her son brought her full focus to Owen. "Is he running a fever?"

"Just a slight one. But I was up with him most of the night. He vomited a few times and you know how much he hates that."

"Oh, poor baby. I'll stop by after work to check on him and thank your mother for dealing with a pukey toddler." She felt so bad that the kids were spending the week with Owen. Whatever value they had decided would be gained by having the kids spend as much time as possible with their father seemed so minimal when she thought about one of them being sick and she couldn't be there for him. "If you want, I could take them tonight so you can get some rest."

"No, it's okay. Besides, by the time your days roll around, they'll probably all have it." His smile was full of mischief.

_Great. I get them for two days and they'll be miserable. _Still, she couldn't help but laugh. "Lovely."

She started to turn her attention back to Arizona, but the rest of the staff scurried in, with the chief following close behind. Instead, she shared a brief knowing look with Addison, who bit at her lip as she pointedly looked over at Arizona. Callie gave a slight shake of her head before looking up toward Ellis.

The meeting was thankfully short, because Callie was having a hard time concentrating on it with Arizona just inside her peripheral vision. She often found herself taking in Arizona's profile—the slope of her cheek, the hint of a dimple, the sparkle in her blue eyes. Her mind really started to wander as she thought about how soft her skin must be, and how much she wanted to know what it was like to kiss her, but then she heard her name. She responded as if on automatic pilot to the query of her daily plans even as her heart thumped heavily in her chest from the earlier thoughts.

Then she went back to surreptitiously watching Arizona out of the corner of her eye. _She really is beautiful. Why didn't I notice this before?_ Now that she was aware of her attraction and feelings it seemed so obvious. And she couldn't help but smile as she realized she was okay with this newfound aspect to her identity. _But how do I get her to admit if she's attracted to me? I don't want to come off as some crazy woman by telling her, only to have her turn me down because she's not interested. I mean I think she's interested. There was that strange reaction at Joe's and those touches at the diner. But, still, I want to be sure. I guess I can try flirting with her. Do women flirt the same way with one another? God, Callie, quit making this so complicated. Just do what comes naturally._

"Alright people, let's innovate and generate," Ellis said as she gathered her things and stood from the conference table.

Callie turned to Arizona, intent on inviting her to lunch, when she saw the blonde frowning at her pager. "Crap," Arizona muttered under her breath as she grabbed her tablet computer and quickly rose. She was about to brush by Callie when she stopped and smiled down at her, those adorable dimples making an appearance. "I hope you're good, Calliope. I've got a 911, but…" She trailed off and shook her head. "I'll see you later," she said and rushed off.

Callie turned to try to stop her, if only for a moment, but she was gone before Callie found her voice. _Damn, now she's got me all tongue-tied, too._

Addison sat down in Arizona's empty seat and leaned in to whisper quietly, "Put your tongue back in your mouth."

"What?" Callie looked around the room, a blush coming to her cheeks as she first noticed Sloan and then Owen looking at her. "Shit," she muttered under breath as she smiled weakly at both men. Sloan then went over to Owen and engaged him in conversation as he led her husband out of the conference room, leaving only Callie and Addie behind. "Was I being that obvious?" she asked as she looked over at her friend.

"Well, I have the sneaking feeling that Mark's got you figured out. He asked me if you had mentioned Arizona to me."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Addie answered as she patted Callie's hand.

Callie let out a long breath of relief. But then she thought back to the expression on Owen's face. He seemed confused and yet oddly amused. "What about Owen?"

"No clue what he knows."

"God I hope he hasn't figured it out. I'd rather tell him myself. Well, assuming anything ever comes of this." She felt so unsure of herself. "Please tell me this will work out."

Addison let out a quiet chuckle. "You are asking the wrong person. I have no idea what the hell is going to happen in my own relationship, if you can call it that. But I do know this. It won't work out if you don't make an effort."

"Yeah, yeah, be one with the change," Callie said with a laugh. "Thanks for the pep talk. I think I'll ask her to dinner, just the two of us, so I can feel her out a bit. But I may need another pep talk again to get over my terror."

"It'll be fine. Take your time and get the info you need. Unless you want me to ask her flat out?"

"No!" The thought of Addison doing that truly scared her. "No, I'll just work on us getting close again. Right now she's giving me space because I was all freaking out, although I told her it was divorce stress. Once I get her to stop doing that, I can get a better feel for what she's thinking and feeling." She let out a sigh. "I hope."

"You'll be great," Addison stood and patted Callie on her shoulders as she walked by

Callie watched her friend leave and then couldn't help but laugh. "I can't believe I'm 36 and feeling like I'm 14 trying to find out if Mike Williams likes me. Maybe I should leave a note in her locker. It worked back then." The thought and memory made her laugh all the more.

* * *

><p>Arizona speared a cucumber from her salad and looked at the vegetable but really had no desire to eat it or anything for that matter. It had been a horrible morning. Twin girls and their father had been brought into the ER after a car crash. The 8 year olds hadn't stood much of a chance, but she had tried so hard to save them. Only one had even lived long enough to make it to the OR, but had bled out in the first ten minutes of surgery. Having to tell their mother had been so hard, especially when Owen came down to say her husband had also died. The woman had lost her entire family before noon. And yet life had to go on, as ridiculous as it seemed.<p>

"Hey, mind if I join you?"

Arizona blinked as she looked up and couldn't help but smile. Callie was standing there holding her tray with a raised eyebrow and a nod to the other chair at her small table. Arizona was thankful for the interruption to her thoughts and even more thankful that it was Callie seeking her out. "Have a seat," she said with a bright smile.

Callie settled herself into the empty chair and then frowned. "You look like you're having a rough day."

Arizona's first reaction was to deflect, to not give Callie anything negative to weigh her down more, but she so wanted to share her burden with someone. "I lost two girls today, 8 year old twins, to a horrific car accident. Their father died, too. The poor mother had taken the day off for a little relaxation so their father was driving them to school. That poor woman's whole family is gone. I don't know how she'll survive." She felt a tear trickle out of her eye and hastily wiped it away.

Callie obviously struggled to keep her composure and Arizona suspected she had to be thinking how it would affect her if she were that woman. Arizona was reminded yet again why she couldn't see herself as a parent. She had seen far too many weather unimaginable losses.

Callie cleared her throat and blinked a few times as her eyes filled with tears. "That would be beyond devastating."

"Sorry, didn't mean to be such a bummer. How's your day been?" Arizona forced a smile, which was made easier when Callie answered with one of her own.

"That's okay. If you can't share the bad times with friends, are they really your friends?" She smiled one of those brilliant smiles that always made Arizona's stomach flip. "My day's been pretty good. And now I get to have lunch with a good friend, so it's just looking up." She looked down at her plate and picked up a carrot, but didn't eat it. "Um, you know that whole giving me space thing? I'm over it. The divorce stuff is mostly settled and I'd rather spend time with you. If you're okay with that, of course."

"Okay with it?" Arizona shifted in her seat as her heart started pounding. _Crap. Why are you making this whole friendship thing so hard, Callie?_ She tried to read Callie's expression, but it was just too complicated to determine if the glint in her eye was intentional or not. _Have you figured this out or not? Damn, I can't just keep running away because I think she might know she's attracted to me. She's bound to figure it out sooner or later anyway. If it comes up, I'll just tell her nothing is going to happen between us. It's as simple as that. Face this and quit being a coward, Arizona._ She smiled then as she resolved to put their friendship first. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Great," Callie said as she snapped off a piece of the carrot and chewed it for a few moments. "Like I said, the divorce stuff is mostly settled. Owen and I met with the lawyer and hammered out the details. And we've got our court date set. We got lucky and got it exactly 90 days after we filed. That's the bare minimum. Owen's going to have the kids on every night that isn't my back-to-back days off. We want them to not feel like Daddy has left them. So, I'm going to need my friend—my friends—to help me adjust to time without them. It's strange how quickly I forgot how to be alone." Her voice cracked just a little.

"Well, not everyone is meant to be alone." Arizona took a deep breath. _You aren't like me, Calliope. You shouldn't be alone. I hope you find someone soon who can be what you need. But in the meantime, I'll do what I can to help you through this._ She then smiled. "You'll find someone soon. I mean, you've got so much going for you that once you put yourself out there, you'll find someone in no time."

Callie bit at her lip, which seemed like a very shy reaction from the normally confident cardio surgeon. "Do you think so?"

"Sure," Arizona said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You'll have guys beating down your door. You're smart, nice—okay, when you're not playing cardio god—funny, beautiful…"

Callie's smile grew but there was a hint of a blush to her cheeks. "Thanks." Her eyes fell for a moment before she looked back up at Arizona. "Is that really how you see me? I mean, I know you said that at Joe's the other night, but you could just be sugarcoating it to make me feel better."

Arizona felt a wave of panic strike her as she thought about how much she had given away, but the words had been said so now she needed to mitigate their meaning. "I wouldn't do that. Of course I think that. Anyone who knows you would say the same. Well, after you let them see the you behind the cardio surgeon façade."

Callie shrugged slightly. "That's an easy front to show people. It's harder to let them in."

"We all wear masks sometimes," Arizona said, feeling like such a phony herself. How could she expect anyone to follow her advice when she constantly ignored what others told her, and worse, what her own conscience screamed at her? And yet she found herself constantly trying to fix others. _It's easier, isn't it? And it's a great way to avoid fixing yourself. 'Doctor heal thyself' is practically a curse in most of our books, after all. _She smiled warmly at Callie. "There's nothing wrong with being selective as to who you let in."

"I guess you're right," Callie answered quietly. Her face was shadowed for a moment before she gave Arizona a hesitant smile. "I'm glad I've selected you as a friend. I know I can trust you."

"Thanks," Arizona replied as she felt a light heat on her cheeks. "The feeling's mutual you know."

"So, um", Callie began, but she was definitely having trouble getting her words out. She finally laughed quietly and shook her head. "Are you busy tonight?"

Arizona thought back to her early morning conversation with Heather and how she had tried to seem so non-committal without cutting her off completely. While she was going to give the celibacy thing a go, she didn't necessarily want to burn her bridges. She genuinely liked Heather, after all. But still, that meant she had no plans for the evening. And there were already so many lies between them that she couldn't make something up. But now the prospect of spending time with Callie that evening was equal parts exciting and terrifying. The latter part practically screamed that she should call Heather and ask her out to give herself an excuse, but the excited part managed to get the words out first. "Nope, totally free." _Damn._

Callie's smile was so bright, it was almost blinding. "Great! Want to get some dinner? There's this fantastic sushi place downtown. Well, assuming you like sushi. We could meet at my place and drive down together. I'm kind of on the way."

Arizona felt butterflies scamper around her stomach, but also a great deal of worry. _Why do I keep doing this to myself? But damn, how can I be her friend if I can't go out to a simple dinner with her without feeling like I am going to explode? Tonight just focus on that, on being her platonic friend. Remember you're trying to clear your head and staying away from women. You're going to need her support to get your life back in order, so get to it. _Arizona finally smiled as she nodded. "Sounds great. I'm actually done with surgeries today and was going to do some research so just name the time. I'm flexible."

"How about six? I need to check on the kids but I should be home and ready by then. The sushi place is really casual, so jeans are fine."

An image of Callie in tight jeans flashed through Arizona's mind and she had to swallow hard to gain control again. "Sounds perfect."

"Great," Callie answered with another one of her blinding smiles. She then looked at her watch. "Oh shit, I'll be late if I don't get going." She stood and grabbed her tray, pausing awkwardly for a moment before saying, "See you at my house at six. I can't wait."

"Me neither," Arizona replied with a slightly forced smile. She watched Callie leave and then closed her eyes. _I wonder where I can get a chastity belt for my brain by six._

TBC…


	18. Chapter 18

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Y'all are awesome with your comments (and knowing there are about 3000 of you reading this and not commenting is also cool, although, please come out and play). The next few chapters are going to be a real ride. There will be angst, violence, happiness, sadness, steps forward, steps back. Yeah, it'll be all kinds of good drama. So, I hope you'll enjoy, starting with this little offering!

And luckily this didn't take as long as I thought. Granted it helps a lot that I've given the second scene a ton of thought. The next chapter might be a few days at least. It's probably going to be long and emotional. And I have a lot going on this week. But I'll try to get it up as soon as possible. Promise.

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

"Oh damn, that was delicious," Arizona said as she leaned back in her chair and put her hand on her overstuffed stomach. "Maybe I should have worn my fat jeans, though."

"Please, like you have fat jeans," Callie said with a laugh and a wave of her hand. "You told me you eat horribly and still stay thin, remember?"

"Okay, well true. Maybe I should have worn sweat pants then." She took a sip of her drink. "But seriously, this place is great. I think you've just introduced me to my new favorite restaurant."

Callie nodded. "I know. We'll have to start a list of places we like. Owen's not much on going out so we mostly ate at home and I miss eating out and trying new places." She shrugged. "I guess there are a few silver linings to my marriage ending."

Arizona wasn't sure how to respond to that. She had too many conflicting feelings but knew better than to cheer on the breakup of a marriage, even if it meant she got to spend more time—more platonic time, she reminded herself—with Callie. So, she simply shrugged slightly. "I guess."

A silence fell over them, one of their awkward silences that Arizona despised, but she wasn't sure what they should talk about. They'd spent dinner telling each other about their families, their childhoods, school, and residency. While they had covered most of their lives, they'd definitely both stayed away from any mention of past relationships other than Callie's marriage. Well, at least Arizona had consciously done that. She still wasn't sure she was ready to open up about Sandy, to explain how badly her life had been messed up by that relationship and its outcome. And so they sat fiddling with utensils and sipping at their drinks. It was becoming unbearable and Arizona was desperate for it to come to an end. "So, how did you and Owen meet? Well I suppose it was at the hospital, right? But what got you two together?"

Callie tilted her head like she was thinking before she shook her head slightly. "I know everyone thinks I'm a kiss ass. And to be honest, when I was a resident, I was. So, I was spending as much time in the ER as possible, pulling extra shifts, to make sure Ellis saw me. I wanted to stay at Seattle Grace after residency and I needed to be the best. Sure, I have family pull, but I wanted to know I was earning it on my own. And Owen was newly hired and practically living in the ER. We hit it off and he asked me out. He was fun back then, not so damaged like he is now. And then I got pregnant and you know the rest."

Arizona considered Callie for a moment. "I guess it all worked out since you got your kids, but it's still a shame he didn't end up being the one for you."

Callie's eyes seemed to pierce her for a moment and then they fell to the table. "I tend to think things happen for a reason. I needed my time with Owen to get my kids and maybe I needed it to end when it did. Maybe the one for me is out there somewhere and now it's time to find them."

Arizona swallowed hard. _Oh God, did she just go gender neutral? Straight people don't do that, do they? _She bit at her lip and thought hard how to follow that up. She wanted to keep the attention off herself. "Like I said earlier, you'll find someone when you're ready." _But it won't be me. It can't be me._

There was another short silence and then Callie cleared her throat. "So, what about you? Any great loves?"

Arizona's heart started to pound as she quickly thought about whether to open up about Sandy. She had often thought about how much to tell Callie, but she had never come to a conclusion. _Just do it. You have to tell her sooner or later. But just the highlights. This isn't the place to get into the details._ She nodded. "My final year of residency, I was in a relationship that I thought was perfect. But long story short, she had a wife and the wife found out and that was the end of it."

"Ouch," Callie said as she cringed. She then seemed to think for a moment and then leaned closer to Arizona. "So you were the mistress?"

Arizona laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I was. But in my defense they were separated when we started the relationship. Sandy—that was the woman I was in love with—wasn't the one who had originally wanted the breakup; it was her wife Maggie that had split them up. But then Maggie came back and that was the end of it. In hindsight, it's pretty obvious that Sandy didn't feel as strongly about me as I did about her." She shrugged. "And since then I haven't meant Miss Right."

"Okay, so who's Miss Right? What are her qualities?"

Arizona's eyebrow rose but she didn't answer. _How do I answer this without basically saying 'You'? _"I'm pretty open to the possibilities I guess."

"Come on, give me something." Callie's smile turned a little playful. "How am I supposed to find you the right woman if I don't know what you like?"

"Okay," Arizona said with an overly dramatic yet playful sigh. "If you insist." She then really thought about it for a moment. "She has to be smart, preferably pretty well educated and traveled. I want someone I can have real discussions with. Hopefully she makes a good living. I'm not into handouts." She was going to leave it there, but the raise of Callie's eyebrow made it quite obvious she needed to give her more. "Well of course she has to be pretty. I prefer feminine but not too high maintenance. And she definitely has to be funny." _Okay that's generic enough._

"Blonde, brunette? Eye color? Body type?"

_Oh God, stop!_ She wanted so much to just run away and hide, to avoid the questions, but she was stuck. They hadn't even paid for their meal yet, so she couldn't bail. Still, she was afraid to say the answers that first came to her mind. After all 'brunette, brown, deliciously curvy' pretty much screamed Callie. "To be really honest, I'm not that picky," she said, trying to sound sincere. "Just really not blonde with blue eyes. I don't want to almost look in the mirror all the time."

"Okay, so no Arizona clones." Callie's laugh was light and it made Arizona smile.

Arizona leaned back in her chair and took a quick sip from her drink. _So, let's do a little fact finding. _She placed her drink down and then tilted her head inquisitively. "And you?"

"Me?" Callie's voice almost squeaked.

"Yeah, you. You want to find someone in the not too distant future, so give me some clues. There are plenty of eligible bachelors at the hospital, but if you can help me narrow it down, that would be great." She made sure to hold Callie's vision and watched as her face showed a flash of different emotions—first fear, then nervousness, and finally a confidence that was almost unnerving.

Callie leaned forward, giving Arizona an enticing view of cleavage from the low cut shirt she was wearing. Arizona couldn't help but let her eyes flash down to the enticing vision before quickly forcing herself to meet Callie's eyes. "You really want to know?" Callie's voice was lower than normal, almost a purr.

_Oh shit. _Arizona's mouth went dry and she tried to get her mouth to work, to provide an answer, but it was hopeless. She was speechless. So, she had to resort to just nodding as an answer.

Callie held her gaze for a moment and it was almost like she could see the wheels turning in Callie's head. Then she looked down at where she was running her fingers around the top of her water glass. "I guess I agree with you," she said, her voice now lacking the confidence of just moments before. "So, definitely lighter hair and eyes. Smart, funny, walks on the beach," she said with laughter finally creeping in at the last item. She then looked up at Arizona and shrugged, "I guess most people want that stuff, huh? Deep down I just want someone who's kind, thoughtful, and wants to work together to build a life. The rest of it is more about just clicking and chemistry I guess."

Arizona tried to keep Callie's gaze, but she couldn't. Instead she looked up and motioned to the waiter, not taking her eyes off him until he was at their table. "We'll take the check."

"Certainly," the man said as he pulled the leather check holder out of his front apron and placed it on the table. "No hurry," he added quickly as he left to go to another table.

Arizona reached out to grab the check when Callie's hand landed on hers, pining her fingers. Arizona took in a quick breath and looked up at Callie, meeting brown eyes that were peering at her inquisitively. They looked at each other for a moment, before Arizona broke the gaze and pulled her hand back suddenly. The whole thing reminded her of the moment when she fled at Joe's after Callie touched her cheek. She was determined this time not to run out, so instead she laughed quietly to cover her reaction and looked back up at Callie. "I'll get it."

Callie was looking at her intently and it took her a moment to respond. "No, I asked you. I'll pay. You can get the next one."

Arizona's brain was barely working at that moment so she had no chance of arguing. "Sounds good."

Callie placed a credit card in the holder and handed it to the waiter as he walked by. "I've got this amazing apple pie back at my place. I bought it at the farmer's market. And there's ice cream. Can I invite you back for a slice?" Callie chuckled. "I know how you like your junk food."

Arizona laughed at the comment and put on a mock indignant tone. "What? That's fruit, dairy, and grain. That's like three food groups right there."

Callie's laughter got a little louder. "I suppose it is." She took the check from the waiter when he dropped it off, added the tip, and then signed it. "So, shall we?"

It was only then that Arizona realized she had basically agreed to go back to Callie's, to go inside her house, and sit down to dessert. With Callie, alone. _Shit. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. But shit, I'm screwed._ She forced a smile, trying hard to make it seem genuine. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

><p>Callie finished chewing the last bite of pie and placed the plate on her coffee table. "Now I'm the one who needs the fat jeans, and trust me I have a few pair."<p>

Arizona waved dismissively. "You've got a great figure and you would with even a few more pounds." She looked down at her coffee mug suddenly and then slowly placed it on the coffee table. "I should probably get going." She rose to leave.

Callie felt a wave of desperation come over her and she reached out to grab Arizona's arm. "No, wait."

Arizona looked down at her and swallowed hard. Her eyes held something akin to fear in them and it was apparent she was breathing hard. "I should go," she whispered.

_No, you can't. We can't go on like this. I just need to say it._ Callie took a deep breath to steady her nerves and then offered a small smile. "Please, stay. I need to talk to you about something."

Arizona ran her hand through her hair and looked at the hallway, obviously wishing she was heading down it on her way out of the house. Finally she let her head fall as if giving in and sat down. "Okay, talk," she said gently.

Now Callie's heart started pounding. She was certain Arizona felt similarly to the way she felt, so really this should just be a matter of letting her know it was okay. After all, Arizona would always assume she wasn't interested unless she said something, right? But still, putting herself out there was scary, terrifying even, because this was a whole new adventure and she wasn't sure what was around each bend. But, if there was anyone she'd want to walk this path with, it was Arizona. Callie knew she'd be understanding and kind. _Just tell her. _

Her decision made, she first looked down at Arizona's hands and considered taking them, but thought that might be too much. Instead, she inched a little closer on the couch and looked up into those amazingly blue eyes. She took a deep breath and said, "I've realized something very recently, like in the last two or three days really. And this isn't because I'm lonely or getting a divorce or anything like that. It's just how I feel. So, okay, here goes," she said and then stopped to swallow hard, trying to will her heart to stop pounding so loudly in her ears. "I'm attracted to you. Like romantically, physically attracted to you. And I'm pretty sure you feel the same and have just been holding back because you figured I was straight and couldn't be interested, but maybe I'm not so straight, or whatever, but that doesn't matter right now. What matters is I can't deny what I'm feeling and I hope you can't either."

Arizona's eyes fell and her whole body seemed to deflate. She took a few deep breaths before saying, "I don't know what to say."

"Say yes," Callie offered, but it didn't seem like Arizona was willing to do that, at least not yet. There was confusion on her face when she raised her eyes tentatively to look at Callie, like she was warring with herself on how to respond. Callie searched for a way to convince her, to push her over the edge. She doubted words would work, but action might.

And so she kissed Arizona.

As her hands went up to Arizona's cheeks, all Callie could think was how incredibly soft and warm and so perfect it all was. At first Arizona wasn't kissing her back, but Callie didn't care. She simply tried to pour all her newfound feelings into the kiss, willing Arizona to respond. And it wasn't long until she did, returning the kiss with a desperation that left Callie breathless.

Callie wanted this. She wanted this for today and for every day of her life. It was like she was coming home and she couldn't comprehend it not working out. In order to get that, she knew she needed to push Arizona to accept this. It was one of the hardest things she ever did, but she pulled away from Arizona, leaving only her hands on her cheeks. When Arizona's eyes fluttered open and looked up cautiously into Callie's eyes, Callie whispered, "Please, just say yes."

Arizona's eyes fell. "Callie, I can't."

"Why not?" Callie tried to duck her head to get within Arizona's line of sight. "I can do this, Arizona. It scares me, but I want this. Tell me that you don't." Arizona sucked in a quick breath and Callie realized she had struck a chord. "Okay, if you can't say yes, then say no. Tell me no, Arizona. Tell me you don't have feelings for me. Tell me you didn't just kiss me back like your life depended on it. Tell me no."

Arizona's eyes lifted and she just looked at Callie for a few seconds. Then she shook her head and whispered, "I'm sorry." She rose suddenly, brushing past Callie, and rushed out of the living room.

Callie stood and turned to watch her leave. "Arizona, don't go!" She quickly followed her out into the hallway leading to the front door.

Arizona had grabbed her jacket and purse from the coat rack and had her hand on the doorknob, but she seemed frozen with her back to Callie. She was breathing heavily with her head bowed but otherwise she wasn't moving. It took her a few moments before she raised her head, still not looking back. "Good night, Calliope," she said, her voice shaking, before she turned the doorknob and left.

Callie just stood there, rooted to the spot, as the door shut behind Arizona. It was so quiet she could hear the rapid pounding of Arizona's feet down the front steps and then, moments later, the sound of her Jeep starting and driving away. She stood there for who knows how long, just breathing, feeling confused and devastated at Arizona's reaction. It made no sense. She had been so sure Arizona was attracted to her. There was no other explanation other than that there was some other reason for Arizona to run away.

"There's something else going on here," she said quietly to herself as she tried to work it out. "You're afraid of something, aren't you? Well, I'm not going to give up." She touched her lips, thinking back to those few moments when they were both lost in the kiss, and she smiled. "You're not getting off that easily, Arizona Robbins. Not if I have anything to say about it."

TBC…


	19. Chapter 19

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Those were some incredibly awesome comments folks. They really made my week. I'm glad you've all stuck with this through the slow build and now that things are starting to come to a major head, it's going to be a crazy ride.

This chapter was a tough one to write. I hope I did it all justice.

Next chapter will hopefully be up by early next week. It's a busy weekend, sorry! But I know you're impatient so I'll do my best.

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

Callie had to admit she was mad, even bordering on furious. She had had the night to think it over—and since she got exactly no sleep, she'd had plenty of time as she tossed and turned to think about it—and she just couldn't understand how a person like Arizona could walk away. It was so clear Arizona was attracted to her—no one kisses you like that if they aren't—and yet she had just walked out. _That relationship at Hopkins must have hurt her more than she let on. What a bitch that woman Sandy must have been._ She had never been so mad at someone she had never met before.

But Arizona just had her frustrated. How was she going to get through to her, make her understand that Callie would be patient and understanding if only Arizona would try? The only thing she could think of was to keep pushing her and letting her know she was serious about this. And that was what brought Callie to practically stalk Arizona, waiting for an opportunity to get her alone.

Finally, Callie saw Arizona leave OR1, still dressed in her scrubs, and head toward her office. Callie followed, trying to stay back far enough so she wouldn't be too easily noticed and only closing the gap as Arizona went into her office. Callie reached the door just as it was closing and stopped it with her hand, pushing it back open and entering to find Arizona removing her scrub cap and letting her hair down with her back to the door.

"We need to talk about this."

Arizona jumped in surprise and turned around, her hand held to her chest. "Jesus, don't scare me like that." She took a few quick breaths and then shook her head. "There's nothing to talk about. This won't work."

"How the hell do you know that?"

Arizona walked to the door and pulled it open. "Just go."

Callie felt her frustration only grow at all of Arizona's stonewalling. She took a deep breath and walked over to stand close to Arizona, forcing the door shut and then stepping forward to back Arizona into the door. She then placed both hands on either side of Arizona's head and pressed her body forward until they were almost touching. "No more running."

"I'm not running."

"You are. What are you afraid of? Whatever it is, just tell me. We can work through it together." She leaned in just a little closer until she could feel Arizona's rapid breaths tickling her skin. "Please," she pleaded softly.

"Let me out," Arizona said, her voice almost a growl.

"No. Not until you tell me."

Arizona swallowed hard and her eyes were wide with fear. There was a moment when it seemed like she might give in but then she shook her head. "How many times do I have to tell you I can't?"

"You can't or you won't?"

Arizona sighed heavily. "What's the difference?"

"Everything. Arizona, we can do this. Just give it a shot." When Arizona's face took on an icy determination, she realized words weren't working, so she went with what almost worked the night before. She closed the distance between them and kissed Arizona forcefully, trying to will her to feel something, anything that would change her mind. Like last time, it took Arizona a few moments to react, but when Callie pressed the length of her body up against Arizona, the peds surgeon let out a whimper and then her hands went on Callie's hips, pulling her desperately closer. The kiss quickly turned even more heated as lips and tongues tangled frantically and Callie pressed even more into Arizona, wanting to feel every last inch of her.

Finally, when the need to breathe became overwhelming, Callie pulled back out of the kiss just far enough to look into her blue eyes. She had to take a few seconds to catch her breath before she could speak. "You can't deny that, Arizona."

Arizona's head fell back onto the door and her eyes went to the ceiling. She was still breathing hard from the kiss and she seemed to take a few moments to gather herself before she dropped her hands from Callie's hips and then looked in her eyes. "No."

"See, you can't deny this—"

"That's not what I mean. Last night you told me to tell you no. I'm telling you. No, I don't want this."

Callie backed up, completely surprised by that reaction. "Arizona, why?"

Arizona stepped away from the door and walked back toward her desk, her back still turned to Callie. "I told you I can't."

"You're a coward," Callie bit back, noting the slump of Arizona's shoulders at her words. "Are you afraid of being hurt again or are you afraid this just might work? That's it, right? You're afraid of opening yourself up, of taking off that carefully constructed mask you wear." She felt tears burning her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "You could trust me, you know, with that fragile heart of yours. I'd do my damndest to protect it. But it's up to you. I'll wait for a while for you to change your mind, but I won't wait forever."

"Please go," Arizona whispered.

Callie wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath. "Above all, you're my friend, Arizona, and that won't change. I care about you. A lot." She shook her head sadly and quickly left the office.

Her haste didn't end there. Afraid she would lose it, she ran like she was being paged 911 until she was safely behind her office door. That was where she slid to the floor and cried. For how long, she didn't know. Finally, she took a few steadying breaths, wiped her face free of tears, and stood up. She smoothed out her clothing and nodded. "You're quite the runner, aren't you? But unless you're Forrest Gump, you've got to stop some time."

* * *

><p>Arizona poked at the elevator button over and over, just wanting it to arrive so she could get upstairs to her apartment.<p>

"Woah, where's the fire? And if there's a fire, you probably shouldn't be going up." Mark came to a stop next to her and calmly waited for the elevator.

Arizona just shook her head, not really wanting to deal with him right then. She started to head toward the stairs when the elevator arrived. _It's faster even if I have to ride with him._

Once they were inside and the elevator started ascending, Mark turned to her. "So, what was up with the lover's quarrel today?"

"What?"

"You and the woman you swear you won't date. I saw her practically sprint from your office and she looked on the verge of tears. What did you do?" He crossed his arms over his chest and peered at her in challenge.

"I thought we weren't talking about this, remember?"

"Now it's getting interesting."

Arizona sighed. "She told me last night she has feelings for me. I said I couldn't be in a relationship with her. Today she tried to talk me into it again and I told her flat out no."

"You're an idiot."

"Haven't we established that already?" She focused on the numbers slowly lighting up, willing them to reach five. "It's my life, Mark."

"And hers," he said quietly.

She didn't answer. Finally, the elevator reached the fifth floor and Arizona pushed past Mark to make a beeline for her apartment. _Thank God, I'm home._

"I could always tell her, you know," Mark said from behind her.

She whirled around and spat out, "Don't you dare!"

"It would be for your own good."

"Aren't you the one who's always preaching that I shouldn't decide what's good for other people?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Kettle, black."

Mark threw up his hands in exasperation. "Fine. Just don't ask for my help. I've got my own family to take care of." He whipped around, jamming his key in the lock, and disappeared behind his front door.

"I never asked for it anyway," she muttered as her temper flared. She quickly entered her apartment, throwing the deadbolt shut angrily and shedding her coat and purse on the floor. All she wanted now was a drink and so she went into the kitchen, turning on the light and opening the fridge to retrieve what was sure to be the first of many beers.

She heard the glass breaking before she felt the searing pain to the back of her head. She stumbled forward, practically falling into the fridge, before being yanked back violently by a hand grabbing her hair. "Hi, bitch," a woman's voice sneered as Arizona was thrown across the kitchen to slam into the far wall.

Arizona shook her head, trying to clear it and concentrate on her attacker. She was tall and very muscular and looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place her. "Who are you?"

"You stole Heather from me, you bitch. No one steals my girlfriend from me."

_Jordan, that's her name._ Arizona put out her hands to try to ward her off and tried to remain calm. "I didn't steal her from you. You two broke up, remember?"

That seemed to anger her more, because Jordan was suddenly stalking toward her. Arizona spun, trying to get to the front door. "Help! Someone help me!" She reached out as she neared the door, desperate to get the deadbolt open so she could escape.

Jordan grabbed her left wrist and pulled her back hard, sending a shot of sharp pain through Arizona's shoulder. The force of it sent Arizona sprawling to the floor halfway into the living room. Jordan was approaching her again, absolute hatred pouring from her eyes. "You can't have her."

"I don't want her," Arizona said as she scrambled to her feet. She looked around in panic, trying to find something to use as a weapon. Her eyes fell on the fireplace poker as she gained her feet and she managed to get over to grab it and turn around to point at Jordan before the other woman could close the gap.

"Arizona? Are you okay?" Mark's voice carried over the sound of her breathing and pounding heart. She could hear him pulling frantically on the door.

"Mark, help, I'm being attacked. Call the police!"

"I am the police," Jordan sneered as she lunged at Arizona.

Arizona swung the poker and hit her left flank, but there was something solid under her shirt and the poker simply bounced off it. _Holy shit, she's got body armor on._ Jordan then was in closer to her, grabbing at her right wrist and digging her thumbnail into a pressure point that made Arizona release her grip. "Mark, please hurry!"

Jordan sent a sharp roundhouse punch to the left side of Arizona's face, sending a sharp pain through her head that left her thoughts cloudy at best. Then suddenly Jordan had a hand wrapped around her neck, pressing her into the wall. It became hard to breathe and even harder to struggle. _She's going to kill me,_ Arizona realized.

Arizona tried desperately to free herself, but Jordan was too strong. Her mind was going a mile a minute, trying to remember what you were supposed to do when attacked. As she felt her air supply cutting off, Arizona reached up with her right hand and scratched at Jordan's left eye.

Jordan's grip released and she backed away in pain. Arizona took in a quick ragged breath and then pushed Jordan out of the way, sending her into an end table and sending a lamp crashing to the floor. Arizona's legs felt like jello, but she knew she had to run. She stumbled toward the door, past where Jordan was trying to extract herself from the table, but her legs weren't moving fast enough.

"Arizona?" The voice was a woman's just outside the door. "Mark went to get the super so we can get in. Just hold on. The police are on their way."

_Addison. That's Addison._ "Hurry!" she cried out, wanting to make sure her rescuers knew she was still alive.

"Oh, no you don't," Jordan said as she grabbed Arizona around the waist and drove her down onto the floor.

Her head rang as it slammed into the hardwood floor. It took her probably only a few moments to get her bearings back, but by then Jordan was on top of her, pinning her torso and legs under her so she couldn't struggle. "Please, I'm sorry," Arizona said, her voice shaking. "I promise, I'll never talk to her or see her again. I made a mistake."

Jordan's fury seemed to stop for a moment as she listened to Arizona beg. But then she shook her head. "I asked around after you left that night. You're quite the whore, you know. Everyone's got a story about you. You clearly can't be trusted."

"Help!" Arizona screamed once more as the murderous intent returned to Jordan's eyes. Then before she could say anything else, Jordan's strong hands were wrapped around her neck, squeezing her windpipe shut and cutting off her air supply. Arizona instantly panicked, her brain only understanding that it needed air. She grasped at the hands, trying to pull them away, but Jordan was too strong. Then she just started clawing at whatever flesh she could find—hers or Jordan's it didn't matter—as her vision started to go grey.

_I'm going to die!_ She tied to fight harder, not wanting to die then with so much left to do with her life. She needed to have time to fix all that was wrong. But as the seconds ticked by and her vision grew dimmer, she lost strength fast, until there was no fight left in her.

And then everything went black

…

…

…

Her throat was on fire with each ragged breath and everything seemed to hurt, but especially her head and neck. As she flickered open her eyes, she started to cough and bile burned her already ravaged throat.

"Arizona, it's okay. We got here in time."

As her vision cleared, she blinked up at the face above her, recognizing Addison smiling down at her. "Is she gone?" Arizona's voice was hoarse and almost unusable.

"Mark and the super got her off of you. They have her pinned down and the police and medics are on their way. We'll get you to Seattle Grace and get you checked out soon."

Arizona turned her head, feeling her neck muscles cry out as she did, to find Mark and Mr. Petrovich basically sitting on Jordan in her living room. Arizona let out a sigh of relief and looked up at Addie. "How long?"

Addison shrugged. "I'm not sure. Time is funny when you're panicked. But it couldn't have been more than a minute since you last screamed help and they got back with the key. They tackled her off of you. It only took you a few seconds to start to come around."

Arizona nodded, feeling strangely numb as she took it all in. _I should be dead. If they hadn't been here, she would have killed me._ She shuddered at the thought. How much of her life had she wasted, how many of the limited days she had had passed her by without her making the changes she needed? But this was a wakeup call, a way for the universe to slap her upside the head and give her some sense. And she knew this time she would have to listen.

Just then the cops arrived, calling out from the doorway to announce their arrival. Mark called back that it was all clear and then two cops entered, guns drawn. Arizona had a hard time following the commotion as her head kept pounding, so she looked back up at Addison. "How bad?"

Addison looked her over from head to toe. "The back of your head is bleeding and you have a small laceration on your left cheek. I wouldn't be surprised if you had a concussion. And your throat of course. You'll be pretty bruised up. I can't see anything else, but we'll make sure everything is good when we get you in the ER."

Arizona could only nod wearily. She was suddenly so tired. "Okay," she finally croaked out.

Then Mark was leaning over her, a bright smile on his face. "Glad you're okay. And glad you asked for my help after all. Well screamed for it, really." His eyes twinkled with amusement.

She barely had the strength to roll her eyes. "Yeah, yeah." She then swallowed painfully. "Thanks."

Mark leaned down next to her ear and whispered. "Now don't waste your second chance."

_I won't._

* * *

><p>AN: Just be glad I didn't end this on the cliffhanger of her losing consciousness!

Okay I would like to apologize for hurting AZ two stories in a row. I promise to go after Callie in my next story. Although sometimes being the one doing the comforting is just as hard, if not harder.

Okay, now you can go ahead and yell. I can take it.

TBC…


	20. Chapter 20

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Well I guess since I've already got the first (short) scene of chapter 21 done, I might as well post this one. This one is really short but is an important set up chapter. Just a little more patience, folks, and we'll start the relationship in full force!

I'm so glad the last chapter was well received. It's never easy to hurt a character you love so much, but I think it will be really important to the story. I had contemplated having Owen go PTSD on Callie and then Arizona comforting her, but that seemed to be what all the other "If/Then" stories were doing (and some doing it really well) so I wanted to be a little different.

Oh and these scenes basically happen simultaneously.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

"Okay, you only needed three stitches," Owen said as he walked around to the side of the bed Arizona was lying on from where he had been suturing the laceration to the crown of her head. "Normal wound care and so forth. I'm going to see where ortho is for your shoulder and if your room is ready." He walked out of the exam room, leaving only Arizona and Mark.

"He makes it sound like a hotel," Mark said as he concentrated on the fine sutures he was placing in her left cheek.

"Well not like I can go home tonight," she said, glad her voice had improved from sounding horribly rough and strangely like Harvey Fierstein to a little more husky and Lauren Bacall-like. "Not sure I'll ever feel safe there again."

Mark stopped his work and looked at her with empathy in his blue eyes. "It won't be easy, but you can't always run away from things, Robbins."

Arizona sighed heavily. "I know. I am going to try to fight harder for things. I've let fear run my life for a while now and look where it got me."

"Good. So should we call Torres, then?"

"Not yet. I need a little time to think about what I'm going to say. And besides, I don't want to tell her in the ER. Maybe tomorrow when she comes into work." That seemed like sufficient time and it would give her a chance to really get her thoughts together.

"She's actually still here, so you could tell her tonight," Mark offered.

"How do you know that?"

Mark finished his work and removed his gloves. "Okay, well don't get mad, but Addie texted her to see where she was while the medics were packing you up. And then when we got here, she went up to Callie's office to tell her what happened."

"She what?" Arizona's anger flared and she sat up, intending to get up off the bed and give Addison a piece of her mind.

"Whoa, slow up and think," Mark ordered as he put a hand up to stop her from rising. "Torres is in the hospital. You don't think word that the head of peds was brought into the ER after an assault isn't at least halfway around this place by now? Did you want her to hear it from a friend or the night shift janitor? And Addie said she'd make sure Torres doesn't come see you until you're ready, so that's another bonus."

Arizona took a deep breath and nodded. "You have a good point."

"Of course I do."

Arizona had to smile at Mark. It felt good after all the trauma of the last hour or so—hell after all the emotions of the last 24 hours. She could hardly believe how many twists and turns she'd undertaken in such a short time. And there were still more to come, although she really hoped these would be better. "Thank you, Mark, for everything. You're becoming a really good friend. And I owe you my life."

Mark waived his hand dismissively. "It's not like I broke down the door or anything. I just got the super and his master key."

"No, but you got her off me. She could have had a weapon and yet you did it anyway."

"Very true. You may refer to me as Super Mark from now on." He pumped up his chest and put his hands on his hips. He really did look slightly like Superman minus the tights and cape.

Arizona laughed this time. "Okay, Super Mark." Again the joking helped distract her, if only for a few moments, from everything going on and it really gave her just a little hope that things were looking up.

Just then Dr. Chang, the head of ortho, came in to the room, staring at an x-ray and carrying a sling. "Hello, Dr. Robbins," he said in his normal monotone.

"Hello, Dr. Chang," she replied back, suddenly feeling more like the woman who had been pummeled just an hour ago. "So, what's the damage?"

"Oh, only a sprain. You got lucky. We'll put it in a sling and see you in a week to check on it. Make sure you do some range of motion exercises daily and cold compresses and it'll be back to normal in no time." He started applying the sling to her left shoulder.

"See? Back to normal," Mark repeated.

_I'm not sure what normal is supposed to be, but after this I doubt I'll ever be the same. I'll always be looking over my shoulder, afraid for my safety. It was in my apartment, my home. How can I ever feel safe again?_ She felt hot tears and wiped them away quickly.

"How's that feel?" Dr. Change asked, obviously oblivious to the emotions she was feeling.

Arizona shifted her arm and nodded. "Fine," she barely got out over the lump in her throat.

"Good. So, make an appointment to see me in a week and call if there are issues."

Arizona opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't, so she just nodded.

"She will," Mark quickly jumped in. "Thanks, Dr. Chang."

The older man looked between the two of them, shrugged, and then left the exam room.

Mark swiftly got on the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her. It reminded her instantly of her brother and how he would hold her whenever the kids at school were cruel to her about her name or any other number of things. She missed him so terribly, especially at times like this when she needed his calming and steady presence in her life. And yet, if she closed her eyes and imagined Timothy was somehow using Mark to hold her, it helped ease the fear and pain just a little, enough at least for it to be bearable.

They were still sitting like that when Owen returned. "I'm sorry if I'm disturbing," he said as he stopped short.

"No, it's okay," Arizona said as she swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "I'm a little better now."

Mark released her and stood up. "Is her room ready?"

"Yeah. Room 412. I'll get someone to wheel you up there."

Mark waved his hand. "I'll do it. Let me go get a wheelchair." He gave her a reassuring smile and left the room.

Owen then stepped closer. "I'll order a light sedative for you tonight to help you sleep. I know it won't be that easy otherwise."

If there was one doctor who probably understood the emotional aftermath of trauma, it was Owen Hunt, and Arizona was thankful that he had been the one to take her case. "No, I don't think sleep will come easily," she admitted. The nightmares of Jordan attacking her and squeezing the life out of her were sure to haunt her tonight and for many, many nights afterward. "Thanks."

"No problem. If there are no complications tonight, we'll discharge you in the morning. A cop came by to talk to you, but I asked if he could come back tomorrow, so he said he'd be back at 8am. He wanted me to tell you that you won't be allowed to stay in your apartment tomorrow night because of the investigation, but you can swing by tomorrow to pick up a few things if you want."

Arizona shook her head sadly. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stay there again, but thanks for the info. I'll at least want a change of clothes."

The door opened then and Mark backed in with a wheelchair. As he pulled it up beside the bed, he smiled. "Your chariot."

"Thanks." As she moved into the wheelchair, every muscle in her body seemed to scream out at her. _I wasn't this sore after my last Ironman triathlon. God, it's like I'm 100._ But still, she would take bumps, bruises, cuts, and sore muscles over the alternative. The fact she was alive was amazing when by all rights she should be lying dead in her apartment right now waiting for someone to finally miss her and come looking. It was such a sad thought to realize it could have easily been a day or more before she was missed since she originally was not scheduled to come into work tomorrow. _That's going to change. And I'm going to start with Callie._

"Ready?" Mark asked as she finally settled into the chair.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>Callie pinched at her nose and closed her eyes. She was tired, bone tired, but she needed to finish this paperwork before she could go home. But it was so hard when her thoughts continued to return to Arizona, to the two electric kisses they'd shared, and the frustration of her saying no earlier in the day. Still, the work had to get done, so she picked up her pen to continue writing, but then someone knocked on her door. "Come in."<p>

Addison walked in with a serious expression on her face. "Hi. I need to tell you something."

Callie dropped her pen as her heart started to pound. "Did something happen to my kids?"

"No," Addison said with a quick shake of her head. "Come sit on the couch." Addison sat down on the leather couch and patted the seat next to her. "Please."

Callie's legs barely carried her as she moved over to Addie. "What is it? What's wrong? You're scaring me." She practically fell down onto the sofa and grabbed Addie's hand. "Tell me."

"Promise me you won't go running out of here until you hear me out."

"I promise." She'd say anything right then to get Addison to tell her what was going on. "Please, Addie, what is it?"

"It's Arizona."

Callie's stomach dropped and she felt her heartbeat accelerate even more. "What happened?"

"She was assaulted. Not sexually, but physically. She's going to be okay," Addison quickly added. "Really, her injuries are pretty minor, all things considered. But she's in the ER and I imagine they'll keep her overnight for observation."

"Oh God." Callie felt sick as hot tears filled her eyes. Every fiber of her wanted to run downstairs and see for herself that Arizona was okay. "I have to see her."

"No," Addie said rather harshly.

"What?"

"She doesn't want to see you. Mark and I both tried to talk her into it. She's going to need loads of emotional support. But she said no." Addison put a gentle hand on Callie's knee. "She's still mostly in shock. Give her a little time. I'm sure she'll come around."

Callie took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down, even though her emotions were swirling as she tried to come to terms with the fact Arizona wouldn't see her. "She's really going to be okay?"

"Yes. I promise."

Callie let out a sigh of relief and wiped the tears pooling in her brown eyes. "What happened? Do you know?"

Addison nodded and began to recount everything that had happened. Callie felt more and more like she would vomit with each passing second. "The cops took that despicable woman into custody," Addie finally finished, "and we got her over here. Mark and Owen are treating her."

"Strangled?" Callie felt so helpless. "She could have died, Addison. Thank God you guys were there."

"I know."

"What do I do?" Callie just wanted to go offer Arizona her support, her friendship. If only she hadn't opened her big mouth last night. Now how would she be able to convince Arizona that she could put aside her attraction and be there or her as just a friend? "I told her how I feel yesterday, Addie. And she ran. She said no to me. No wonder she doesn't want to see me."

Addison grabbed both of Callie's biceps and turned her so they were looking each other in the eye. "You're right. She's been running like hell. She and Mark have become friends and he told me all about it while the medics were looking her over. Maybe this was her wake up call. Maybe now she'll know that what's really scary is hate, not love." She smiled slightly. "Just let her know you're here for her. Send her a text or something. When she's ready, she'll reach out to you. I know sooner or later this will work out for the best." She laughed and rubbed her stomach. "Buddha belly knows all."

Callie laughed through her tears. "Thanks. You've really been a good friend through all this and I know your life is out of control right now, too."

Addie shrugged. "Not really. I'm moving in with Mark. All of this talk with you and Arizona has made us both realize it's worth the risk."

"Good. I'm glad our tribulations are helping someone." She leaned over to give Addison a hug.

"Now I better go. I need some sleep." Addie struggled to get up and Callie rose to help her. "I'll check on Arizona for you before I leave."

"Thanks."

Once Addison was gone, Callie began pacing, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, she sat down at her desk and started an email to Arizona. She thought hard how to phrase what she wanted to say before typing it in and sending it. She then pulled out her phone and sent Arizona a text.

_I heard what happened from Addie. I'm so incredibly sorry. I'm here if you need me. Please check your email._

She leaned back in her office chair and closed her eyes. _Please respond Arizona. I need to see you with my own two eyes to know you're okay. Please._

* * *

><p>AN: We'll see the email in the next chapter when Arizona reads it.

TBC….


	21. Chapter 21

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Okay, so my homework has been neglected so I could write this. I just couldn't wait. I've been thinking about the last scene for months now and I hope it doesn't disappoint. It actually turned out a bit differently than I planned, but I'm proud of it.

Enjoy! And let me know what you think, please.

Oh and updates from now on will not continue to come so quickly. I have a paper due in 2 weeks (15-20 pages on web application security!) so that needs to be a priority, but I'll try to get something up every few days.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

Arizona pulled out her phone and looked up at Mark. "I'm going to text her now. Do you want to stand and watch or go home to your baby mama and celebrate a job well done?"

Mark crossed his arms over his chest. "Actually, I don't want to leave you alone. I can stay the night if you want."

Arizona pointed to her room's open door. "I'm not alone. There's a whole hospital full of colleagues out there. As soon as I send this, I'll take the sedative and probably sleep until morning. And that's when I'll talk to Callie. So, really, it'll be okay."

At first he seemed like he wanted to argue, but then he just nodded. He walked over next to her hospital bed and put his hand gently on her shoulder. "You call if you need anything. I'm right across the street. Really, anything, anytime, I'll be here."

"I will."

She waited until he was gone before she closed her eyes and let the tears flow. She had really brought this all on herself—unintentionally of course—but it still was really her because of her own actions. Somewhere along the way she had lost herself to pain and fear and, like a Greek tragedy, it had all come back to haunt her. Obviously avoiding connections, especially love, had almost ended her life. And that needed to change.

It took her a few minutes to get her tears under control. She then turned on her phone to send Callie a text message, but she found a message waiting for her from Callie instead. "An email, huh?" She opened her email app and scrolled through the unread messages until she found Callie's. She opened it and began to read.

_Arizona,_

_First, I'm incredibly sorry this happened to you and I hope you are getting through this as best you can. Addison said your injuries weren't too severe, but make sure they give you the good drugs if you need them._

_Can we just forget what's going on between us for now? I know things are tense for us, but I want to be here for you, so can we go back to just being friends? When things are better with you, we can worry about what we're feeling and what we're going to do about it. But right now, it's far more important that I help you. Okay? _

_I'm going to stay at the hospital until I hear from you, so please just at least let me know how you are and whether I can come see you. I really want to come see with my own eyes that you're okay._

_Your friend,_

_Callie_

Arizona couldn't help but smile. It meant a lot that Callie was willing to put her feelings aside in order to be there for her. But it was even better that she wouldn't have to. Arizona felt butterflies in her stomach as she thought about telling Callie that she was going to stop running. It was scary, terrifying even, to open herself up, but something told her that if she could ever learn to truly trust anyone again, it would have to be with Callie.

While she had originally planned to wait until morning, she suddenly didn't want to wait. She opened a text message to her and typed in a quick message. _I want to see you. I'm in room 412._ She only paused for a second before hitting send. She then put her phone away and waited. It wouldn't be long now before she could start putting her life back together.

* * *

><p>Callie approached Arizona's room but stopped before she got to the door. Her heart was pounding in her chest, but she wanted to make sure she was as calm as possible when she entered. Arizona would likely need her to be strong, so she needed to have control of her emotions. And she also needed to be mentally prepared to see Arizona's injuries. To think that beautiful face was marred by some evil woman was just sickening and all she wanted to do was scream about it, but instead she needed to put her own emotions aside and be there for her friend.<p>

With a final deep breath, Callie walked up to the door and knocked on the door as she peered in. "Hi," she said quietly as Arizona's eyes rose to meet hers. She swallowed hard as she took in her condition. The first thing Callie noticed was her swollen left cheek with the small line of sutures right over her cheekbone. And then there was the bruising that circled her neck, reminding Callie of the real life-threatening damage that could have been done to Arizona. Finally, her left arm hung in a sling and Callie could just see the hint of a bandage on the top of her head. "You okay?" She took one step into the room, but held back, unsure of herself.

A small smile came to Arizona's face. "I'm okay. It helps that you're here."

Her voice was deeper than normal, husky even, and Callie had the momentary thought that it was quite sexy. _You can't think like that. Not right now._ "I'll always be here for you," she said quietly.

"Can you shut the door? I want a chance to talk to you in peace."

Callie did as she was asked and stepped a little further into the room, but still stayed at a distance from Arizona's bed. "I can't believe this happened to you, Arizona. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, I admit it pretty much sucked," Arizona said as she lowered her eyes to her right hand, which was picking at the blanket absently.

Callie took one more step toward Arizona. "So, we're okay for now? We can just put that behind us while we get you through this?"

Arizona's eyes flashed up to catch Callie's gaze. "I don't think we can."

"Arizona—"

Arizona held up her hand to stop her. "Wait, let me explain." She patted the bed beside her. "Would you come sit down first, please?"

Callie hesitated for a moment, confused by Arizona's reaction, but then went over. "On the bed?" she asked to make sure she understood Arizona correctly. When she got a simple nod, she lowered the bed railing and then sat on the edge of the bed, her hip just lightly touching Arizona's thigh. "Okay," she said, still feeling very uncertain.

Arizona took a deep breath and then nodded, as if deciding something. "I've really lived a screwed up life lately, for the last five years really. I lost my brother and then Sandy broke my heart and after that I was just so afraid to get close to anyone. It just seemed safer to keep people at a distance. They can't hurt you when they leave if they aren't important to you."

"You were hurt," Callie said, feeling so much empathy for Arizona. "I think most people would do something similar."

"Maybe, but not for so long. It got comfortable, easy." She swallowed hard. "But tonight changed that. It's not easy anymore. I've lived my life in fear of being hurt by opening up and instead I was hurt by closing myself off. And I know I hurt you, too."

Callie's heart rate jumped and she instantly felt butterflies dancing in her stomach. She was hoping Arizona's words meant she was reconsidering her answer from earlier today, but she didn't want to get her hopes up too high either. "Okay," she drew out, trying to edge Arizona on to explain what she meant.

Arizona smiled a bit shyly. "Sorry, I'm not being too clear. So, what I'm saying is that I'm still terrified about a lot of this and you're going to need to maybe handle me with kid gloves sometimes, but I want to change my answer." She reached out and took Callie's hand in her own. "I'm saying yes."

Callie could barely believe it. She broke out into a broad smile, though, as the butterflies picked up their dance through her stomach. "You're really saying yes?"

Arizona nodded with her own bright smile. "I am."

Callie let out a huge sigh of relief. "That makes me so happy. And I will be as supportive as you need. I'm scared too, you know." She laughed a little self-consciously. "I mean you're the first woman I've ever kissed."

"How about you don't talk about that in the past tense and kiss me now?"

Callie reached up and traced her fingers over Arizona's unmarred right cheek. "I won't hurt you?" As much as she was dying to feel Arizona's lips on her own, she would never want to hurt her.

Arizona leaned into the touch. "My lips are fine," she said with a broad smile.

Callie's fingers went down to run over Arizona's dimple before moving up to cup her cheek. Her entire body felt like she was going to explode as she leaned down to close the distance between them. She paused for just a moment to look into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen, and then she brushed her lips along Arizona's and she was lost forever.

This time, Arizona instantly responded and they spent long moments just slowly exploring each other's lips. There was no need to rush this time, to feel a sense of desperation, because Callie knew this was just the first of any number of kisses down the line. And so she savored it, amazed once again at how soft Arizona's lips were and how many emotions were already swirling around in her for this amazing woman.

When they finally separated, Callie only pulled back a little way, still focusing her attention on Arizona's eyes. "You're amazing."

"Me?" Arizona shook her head slightly. "You're the one who took the huge risk. God was that just yesterday?" She laughed lightly before sobering. "How are you doing with all this?"

"You mean dealing with how frustrating you've been or suddenly falling for a woman?" She leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Arizona's lips before sitting up straighter so they could talk.

Arizona chuckled. "I was thinking the latter."

Callie took a moment to think about it. She had really been distracted in the last day with simply focusing first on chasing Arizona and then on her attack, so she hadn't given it much thought since they had first kissed. "I admit it's a little strange for me. I mean I don't think I've ever been attracted to a woman before. So you just must be really special." She laughed when Arizona rolled her eyes. "But, seriously, I'm a little scared. It's a huge change in how I think about myself and I don't really know how it will affect my life or my family." A slight shadow came over Arizona's features and Callie quickly added, "But I'm all in on this, really. I've never felt so comfortable with someone so quickly and, my God, those kisses. I've never felt that much just from a kiss. So, yeah, I'm scared of the unknown, but I'm also really excited about it, too."

Arizona nodded as she reached out to take Callie's hand in her own again. "We'll take this slow, okay? I think we both need that. And I promise I won't ever push you, or at least not intentionally. Just promise me you'll always be honest, okay? If I am pushing you, let me know."

"I will," Callie said quietly as she looked down to where their fingers were tangling with one another. She then looked back up at Arizona. "You too, okay? I don't want to push you either."

"Deal."

Callie looked a little more closely at the bruising around Arizona's neck. "So, what exactly are your injuries? I guess Addie left before you were checked out because she didn't have all the information."

"Yeah, she didn't exactly wait around. I didn't even know she had gone up to talk to you until Mark spilled the beans." She took a deep breath. "So, three stitches to my head. I'm not sure how many sutures Mark put into my cheek, but he said he did his best work so hopefully any scar will be really light. My shoulder is sprained, but not badly. And then all the bruising and stuff on my neck. I haven't looked in the mirror yet. How bad is it?"

Callie braced herself before taking a closer look. She tried to detach herself, to pull the cloak of surgeon over her, but it was so hard knowing that the bruises in the shapes of fingers and the scratches there from where Arizona obviously tried to fight her off were on the body of the woman she cared so much about. "Well, the bruising is going to be pretty bad for a while." She swallowed hard. "I can make out where her hands were and you've got some nasty scratches, too," she said, but her voice became very tight. She sat up, looking into the pain in Arizona's eyes and noticing the fine red dots of broken capillaries in the whites. "You've got some petechiae in your eyes, too."

Arizona nodded and took a deep breath. "Maybe I should go look. I've got to use the bathroom anyway." She started to sit up and groaned. "God, I feel like I got run over by a truck." She laughed dryly. "Well, she was kind of built like a truck. I guess it's only to be expected to be this sore after being tossed around like a ragdoll."

Callie had no idea what to say, so instead she stood up and held out her hand to help pull Arizona up. "Let me help you." When she finally had Arizona on her feet, she started to pull Arizona into a hug, but was met by arms pushing her away. "What?"

Arizona shook her head. "If you hug me right now, I'll lose it. And I really have to pee."

Callie couldn't help but laugh as she stepped back. "Okay. Can you walk or do you need help?"

Arizona took a step and groaned again. "I can, but it sucks. Now I know what it'll feel like when I'm old, really old."

Callie offered her arm for Arizona to hold on to, afraid that if she wrapped her arm around Arizona like she wanted that would be too close to a hug. Arizona grabbed it and slowly shuffled across the room toward the bathroom, her steps getting a little quicker as she went. Movement was usually good for stiff and achy muscles and Callie put a little reminder in her head to make sure she got Arizona up and walking in the morning before her muscles could seize up too badly.

When they reached the bathroom, Arizona looked over at her. "Can you wait right here? I might need you."

"Not moving from this spot," Callie answered as she moved off to the side of the door. When Arizona disappeared inside the bathroom and the door shut behind her, Callie let her head fall and she had to fight hard so tears didn't fall. She took a few quick breaths as she pulled her emotions back under control. _God what an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I'm ecstatic that she said yes and the next my heart is breaking for all the pain she's been through. I'll do anything I can to get her through that pain so we can work on being happy. She deserves to be happy. We both do._

Callie heard the toilet flush and then the water turn on in the sink. The water kept flowing for what seemed an incredibly long time and Callie figured Arizona could be using it to cover the sound of her crying. "Arizona? You okay?"

There was a pause and then the water turned off. "Not really," came the pained reply.

"Do you want me to come in?"

Another short pause followed before the door opened. Callie barely had a moment to see Arizona's tear-swollen eyes before she fell into Callie's arms, shaking under a wave of sobs. Callie's own tears finally fell as she held her tight. They stood there for quite a while, the only sounds in the room being Arizona's slowly quieting sobs and the encouraging words Callie whispered into her ear.

Finally, Arizona's sobs turned to sniffles and then she finally drew a deep breath and stepped back out of Callie's embrace. She wiped at her face, wincing obviously as her hand brushed her swollen left cheek, and then looked up at Callie. "Why?"

"I wish I knew, Arizona." Callie reached out and gently rubbed Arizona's good arm. "I don't understand how anyone can attack another human being, but she obviously had issues. And she'll pay for it, okay? They'll lock her up for a long time and hopefully she'll get the help she needs."

Arizona nodded sadly as she turned to head back to her bed. Callie quickly moved to the side of her, this time placing a gentle hand on the small of her back, and rubbing gently as they slowly moved back across the room. When Arizona was finally settled back onto the bed, she sighed heavily. "I'm exhausted."

"You should probably get some sleep."

"Yeah. Owen gave me a sedative. I got the feeling he knew I'd have nightmares." There was just the hint of a question in her voice.

Callie nodded. "Yeah, he knows a lot about nightmares." She went over to the side table and poured a cup of water from the pitcher and then brought that and the paper cup that held the pill over to Arizona. "Bottom's up."

Arizona took the pill and drank the entire cup of water. "You should go home and get some sleep, too."

Callie shook her head. "No, I'll stay here with you tonight." She motioned with her head toward the loveseat in the room. "Since you got one of the lucky rooms with the couch, I can just curl up there."

"Callie, that won't be comfortable. You're far too tall to sleep there."

"I've slept in worse places."

"Callie, please. At least go find an on-call room or that couch in your office. That's longer." Arizona reached out and took Callie's hand. "Please?"

Callie sat back on the side of Arizona's bed, noting how her blue eyes had started to droop just a little. "Can I stay until you fall asleep?"

"As long as you promise me you'll find someplace decent to sleep."

Callie nodded. "I promise. I'll find someplace decent to sleep."

Arizona yawned then, causing Callie to yawn in response. "See, you're tired," Arizona said with a small laugh.

"No, yawns are just contagious," Callie answered with a grin. She then reached over and brushed a few blonde locks off Arizona's forehead before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Now close your eyes and get some sleep."

Arizona pouted. "I don't get a real good night kiss?"

"Of course." Callie kissed Arizona sweetly, taking a few seconds to just enjoy the kiss, but not wanting to drag it on. Arizona was clearly exhausted and it wouldn't be long before the sedative took effect, although Callie suspected that just the weariness of all that Arizona had been through would be enough to drag her down into sleep. "Good night, Arizona. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Calliope." She closed her eyes and then a small smile touched her lips. "I'm glad I said yes."

Callie smiled broadly. "I'm glad you did, too."

It only took a few moments before Arizona's breathing evened out and she was lost to sleep. Callie didn't move, however. She just wanted to spend a few moments enjoying this. Even with all her injuries, Arizona looked so beautiful as she slept, so peaceful, that it just made Callie's heart swell with affection. _This is just the beginning of a long path for us, though, I bet. Somehow I don't think it'll be easy, but I hope we'll make it. You're obviously a fighter and I'm stubborn as hell. I think that bodes well._

She placed one last kiss on Arizona's forehead before getting up and going to sit on the couch. "You know, really, this is a pretty decent place to sleep after all. And that's what I promised." She took her lab coat off and folded it up to use as a pillow before lying down on the loveseat. It was a tight fit, but not too uncomfortable. And from there she could see Arizona sleeping so she would be able to quickly react if there were any problems. "Good night, Arizona," she whispered before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

TBC…


	22. Chapter 22

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** This took quite a bit longer than it should have because I tried to write the first scene from Callie's POV twice and it just wasn't working. Then I realized I hadn't had an Arizona POV when they kissed plus the stuff they needed to talk about was more AZ-focused, so I swapped and it worked (and boy did it…this is long!). Whew!

Hopefully going to write my paper this weekend and then I can get some more of this written. So hopefully there will be more around next mid-week, but no promises.

Thanks a ton for your comments. They are always more than welcome. You guys are awesome!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

Arizona felt like shit, absolute shit. As she woke up all she noticed was the pain in head, her neck, hell pretty much throughout her body. _I think my left pinky toe might not hurt._ She wiggled it and a pain shot up her leg. _Nope, that hurts, too. Shit._ She opened her eyes and blinked at the dim light in the room. "Being tossed around by a lunatic Amazon just really sucks," she whispered to herself.

She blinked a few times to clear the sleep from her eyes and then looked around until her eyes fell on the loveseat. Callie was literally curled up there, her head propped on her lab coat and one arm, sleeping rather soundly. "Busted," Arizona said quietly as she smiled. A warm feeling suffused her at the thought that Callie had wanted to stay the night with her, to keep a watch on her. It had been so long since she'd had anyone who was this in her corner. _I can really see myself falling in love with her sooner or later._ As Callie shifted slightly in her sleep and let out the lightest of snores, Arizona's smile grew even wider. _Probably sooner. Definitely sooner._

Arizona tried to reach over the bed's railing to release it, but she couldn't quite manage with only one arm, so she resorted to slowly—and painfully—scooting toward the foot of the bed until she could maneuver around the obstacle. She slowly shuffled over to stand next to the couch and look down at Callie. _My God is she gorgeous. I mean, really just stunning. And those lips…_ She tried hard not to imagine those lips on parts of her body other than her lips, but it didn't work. How crazy it was to be both in pain and turned on at the same time, and yet she was as those images flashed through her mind. Very much turned on in fact.

Luckily Callie started to stir and Arizona's rather dirty thoughts were pushed away in favor of the present. She put her right hand on her hip and tried to affect the look she had seen so often from her parents as a child when she and Tim had been caught doing something wrong. But it was hard to keep the smile off her face as Callie wiped at her face and groaned something almost incomprehensible about a blanket. _She's downright adorable right now._

Callie's eyes flickered open and she must have seen Arizona's legs, because her eyes slowly tracked upward until she was looking up at Arizona's face. "What?" she almost whined. "This was decent." She sat up, her back audibly cracking as she did.

"Sure it is," Arizona responded, sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

"You know I couldn't leave you alone." Callie slid over to one side and patted the cushion next to her. "How are you feeling?"

Arizona glanced at the door, which was still closed, and then at the clock. It was already after 7am. Someone would surely be by soon to check on her, not to mention the chief could always stop by so she would seem like she cared. And in less than an hour the cops would likely be showing up to question her. With all the chances for intrusions—and Arizona's inability to move fast enough—it was probably a bad idea to sit down in the small confines of the loveseat. They needed to keep this, whatever this was, behind very closed doors while at the hospital. _We don't want a repeat of Hopkins, s_he could hear Ellis Grey say in her head. "I feel pretty good, just sore really. But still, I think I'll just get back into bed. Thanks."

She went over to the bed and started fiddling with the rail release when Callie's hand suddenly covered her own. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?"

"The cold shoulder. Do you…are you having second thoughts?"

Arizona turned her head up and kissed Callie sweetly, yet briefly, on the lips. "Absolutely not."

"Then what?"

"Help me get back into bed and I'll explain."

Callie frowned but pulled the bed rail down and gave Arizona a hand getting back into the bed. Once she was settled, Callie crossed her arms and lifted a challenging eyebrow. "So?"

Arizona sighed. She hated this, that she was going to have to admit to a few things for which she was less than proud. She also hated having to introduce Callie to some of the less happy sides of gay life so early. She suspected the cardio surgeon hadn't considered the hatred she would occasionally have to endure if she wanted a relationship with a woman. "Okay, so we have to keep this, us, on the serious down low at work. Like behind closed doors and I'm not talking on call rooms either. We need to project our relationship as friends at most while here."

"What? Why? I mean, sure, I want to make sure I'm the one to tell Owen and I should probably tell my parents before Ellis finds out and spills the beans to my mother, but then who cares?" She sat down on the edge of the bed and took Arizona's hand. "I know I'm still coming to terms with this whole lesbian thing, but I'm not ashamed of it or you. You don't need to protect me."

"I'm not doing this to protect you, although I might need to at some point down the line. There are some people out there who will just hate you because you have feelings for a woman. But that's not what this is. I'm protecting me. I'm protecting my job." Her eyes lowered, unable to keep Callie's gaze. She absolutely hated that she had to compromise her integrity to keep her job, but she had no other choice. Seattle Grace had been her only option coming out of her fellowship and she couldn't be certain that would change. Besides, now she finally had a reason to stay in Seattle and she just instinctively knew she'd give up her pride to have a shot with Callie.

"What are you talking about? Half this hospital is sleeping with the other half and more than a few of them are gay and very out. You won't lose your job."

"Those people aren't the head of peds surgery and those people didn't have a torrid affair with their attending during residency that ended up with almost a total blacklisting at every major hospital thanks to that attending's wife."

Callie's eyes practically bugged out of her head. "Sandy was your attending?"

Arizona nodded, feeling that mix of emotions she always felt when she thought of her. "And the head of the department no less. Her wife is Margaret Nelson-Klein."

The instant recognition was clear as Callie sat up straighter and her mouth fell open slightly. "Maryland Shock Trauma Nelson-Klein? I've heard she's a real witch."

"You could say that. I was a few weeks away from my boards when the scandal broke. Before that I had pretty much every major peds program fighting over me and courting me like you wouldn't believe. Suddenly every one of them decided to go with someone else. I had to scramble to find a fellowship. Luckily the chief at LA Children's hates the witch and he offered me a spot I think almost to spite her. Then when I went looking for a permanent position, Seattle Grace was the only offer I got from a top hospital. But Chief Grey made it very clear she didn't want a repeat of the drama and that I needed to keep my private life out of the hospital. That was one of the reasons I ran from you. You are very much in this hospital. And so is your husband. That could mean serious drama."

"Wow, that's just…I'm sorry that happened to you. No wonder you ran. And I promise, I'll do everything I can to keep that kind of thing from happening. Owen's an incredibly good man. I think once he gets over the shock, he'll be okay. He certainly would never do what Sandy's wife did." She stopped and then tilted her head slightly. "So, what changed your mind? About the running."

Arizona couldn't help but smile as she reached out to squeeze Callie's thigh affectionately. "You. Almost dying. I figure as long as we're professional at work we should be okay. And if anyone in this place is professional, it's you, so I'm really not too worried."

Callie rolled her eyes. "I guess." She then frowned. "You said it was also because you're a department head. Why's that? Do I have something to worry about? I mean I might have Erica Hahn breathing down my neck for my job, I don't want to be blindsided by something I don't know about."

Arizona laughed quietly. "Well, you don't have to worry about Erica in that respect really. She's gay so you'd be pretty even there." Arizona then got serious. She really hated this, and it really was the only way she could truly justify staying in the closet at work. When it came to saving the tiny humans, she'd do almost anything. "It's not just any department head. It's the head of a pediatric department. There are a lot of people who wouldn't let a gay surgeon work on their kid. They think we're pedophiles or that we'll try to recruit little Johnny or Mary to a sinful lifestyle. Sometimes I think they assume we all have special magic gay cooties we can infect their little cherubs with instead of it just being the luck of the draw whether you're gay or you're straight." She sighed heavily. "There are kids out there that I can help, and I'm not going to risk some kid's life because his bigoted parents took him to a second-rate hospital to avoid the lesbian surgeon."

Callie sighed quietly. "I can see that I guess, but how would they know? It's not like it'd be plastered all over the hospital webpage."

"Parents spend all their time in the hospital with their kids. They get to know the staff, they hear the hospital gossip. They'd find out pretty soon. It might never happen, but I just don't want to risk it. It's a small price to pay if it means I can save one kid's life."

"Okay," Callie said as she nodded. She reached out and took Arizona's hand, running her thumb along the back of it. "Good thing we both have private offices, huh?"

Arizona laughed and leaned forward to get closer to her. "I'm starting to think I'm really lucky you figured out you like me."

"I more than like you." She stopped, her eyes popping open in shock. "I mean, well, I don't mean, I guess I mean," she started to stammer as color came to her cheeks. She stopped and let out a deep breath. "You are so amazing and I'm so drawn to you. I'm hoping this turns into something special and long term. So, I can make a few small sacrifices, too."

"Thank you," Arizona said as she let out the smallest sigh of relief. "And I hope this turns into something special and long term, too." She then leaned a little closer and reached up her good hand to grab at Callie's lapel and pull her toward her until their lips met. This kiss started slow but quickly became just a little heated as Arizona tentatively deepened the kiss until not only lips but tongues were tangling together, leaving her heart pounding.

They finally had to stop, both breathing heavily from the lack of air and the power of the kiss. "Um, wow," Callie finally said as she looked up at Arizona a little sheepishly. "That was quite the good morning kiss."

Arizona laughed at that and then leaned forward to give her a quick peck on the lips. "Yeah, it was." She then fell back on the bed, feeling just a little exhausted from the emotions and the whole incredible kiss mixed with her entire body trying to heal from the assault. "You wore me out," she said with a louder laugh.

Callie reached up and cupped Arizona's cheek tenderly. "I guess after all you've been through you can be excused, but we'll have to work on getting you better so you have more stamina."

Arizona had a hard time keeping the smirk off her face. "Oh, don't you worry, when I'm not all beat up, I have quite a bit of stamina. I'm a triathlete after all."

Callie started to lean down to kiss her again when there was a knock on the door. "Shit," she muttered as she shook her head. She then looked over at the door and back at Arizona before standing up. "Behind closed doors," she said as she smoothed her pants with her hands.

"Thanks," Arizona whispered. "Come in!"

The door opened and Owen poked his head in. He stopped short when his eyes landed on Callie. "You're here early."

Callie just short of shrugged and walked over to sit on the couch.

Owen shook his head slightly before walking over to look down at Arizona. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck," she replied.

"Well, if that's it, then you can go home after the cops talk to you. They're waiting outside. I'll get your discharge papers ready while you talk to them. I'll include a prescription for a sedative just in case. But otherwise, you know what you need to do."

"Yeah, thanks."

Owen seemed to pause for a moment, before turning and heading to the door and then stopping and turning back. "Should I send the officers in?"

Arizona dreaded this, knowing that it would force her to remember details of the night before, details that she would rather forget, but it was probably better to get it over with. "Sure. No time like the present I guess."

"Okay," he said before leaving the room.

Callie stood and put her shoes on. She then walked over to Arizona. "I suppose they'll want to talk to you by yourself. Are you hungry? I can run down to the cafeteria and get something. At least some coffee. I'll even go to the coffee cart for the good stuff."

"Oh, yes, please. Can you get me a mocha latte? And a muffin of some sort."

Callie nodded and then laughed a little. "Let me guess, the more sugary, the better."

"See, you're getting to know me well already," Arizona answered.

There was a knock at the door and an officer poked his head in. "Ma'am can I come in?"

Arizona waved him in but her eyes never left Callie. She was suddenly scared and would have loved nothing better than to have Callie stay with her and give her strength, but she knew she had to do this by herself. "You'll be back soon?"

"Probably before you're done. You'll be okay," Callie added as she put her hand on Arizona's shoulder and squeezed. "She can't hurt you anymore. Don't forget that."

"Thanks." Arizona watched as Callie nodded to her once more and then left the room, leaving her alone with the police officer. She finally looked at him and took a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this."

* * *

><p>"Really, it's okay." Callie crossed her arms over her chest and looked from the elevator door over to Arizona. "You need a place to stay and I'm not letting you stay in a hotel. Owen is fine keeping the kids the next few days. Sloan said he'd come spend a few hours with you tomorrow so I can go spoil them, so I'll still get to see them. And I'll be able to keep my eye on you." She smiled just a little, hoping it came out with just a hint of flirtation. <em>I'm so out of practice.<em>

"Fine. But, I still hate that you're missing your weekend with the kids," Arizona said with dramatic resignation to her voice.

"They'll get over it." Callie smiled. Even though she wasn't thrilled to miss the weekend with her kids, Arizona needed her right now. And besides, having Arizona stay in her guest room for a few days would be a great way for them to get to know one another a little better. The elevator finally dinged and the doors slid open. She looked over to find Arizona looking rather apprehensive. "I can always go get some stuff for you while you wait here. Just let me know where everything is and you won't have to go in there right now."

Arizona took a deep breath and shook her head. "No, I can do this." She then looked over at Callie. "Besides, it's too early in our relationship for you to be rooting through my dresser."

Callie hit the door open button so they had time to exit. "What, you don't want me fondling your underwear?"

Arizona got a playful twinkle in her eyes. "That and other things." She winked.

Callie felt her pulse quicken as her mind went to the possibilities—sexy lingerie, adult toys, who knew what else. It made her mouth go dry and she had to swallow hard to regain control. "Well, on that note…"

Arizona laughed and it was music to Callie's ears. "Thanks. I needed that little flirting before we do this." She stretched up and kissed Callie on the cheek. But then she got serious. "Okay, I guess it's time to get this over with."

Callie followed Arizona out of the elevator and around the corner. At this end of the hall there were only two doors, but it was obvious which one was Arizona's from the police tape across the open doorway. They approached to find two people, a man and a woman dressed in business attire, standing just inside talking. Callie cleared her throat to get their attention. "Hi, we came to get some of her stuff."

The woman looked between Callie and Arizona before approaching them. "Hello, Ms. Robbins. I'm Detective Anderson. I'm leading the investigation into how the alleged assailant gained entry to your apartment."

"It's Dr. Robbins and I wouldn't call her alleged. I have the bruises around my neck to prove it." Arizona's voice was tight and a little understandably harsh.

"My apologies, Dr. Robbins. I've been expecting you." She lifted the tape and stepped back so they could enter. "We're done going over your bedrooms and bathrooms, so you can take anything you need from there. If you need something from the living area or kitchen, please let me know so we can make sure we don't need it for our investigation."

Arizona nodded without saying anything and then walked toward the rear of the apartment. Callie followed, trying to take in her surroundings as she did. The apartment was a strange mixture of modern loft and homey décor, but it worked in a strange way. Everything seemed relatively neat, with the only thing noticeably out of place being the remains of a lamp in the living room. Callie noticed that Arizona didn't look at it or at anything for that matter. She kept her eyes straight ahead until they passed into the bedroom. Callie closed the door behind them. "You okay?"

Arizona stood with her back to Callie obviously taking deep gulps of air. Three, four, then five breaths went by before she turned and Callie could see the tears in her eyes. "Been better," she finally choked out.

Callie instantly stepped closer. "Would a hug help or hurt?" She was cautious after the previous evening, when Arizona had avoided the hug so she wouldn't break down.

Arizona didn't answer. Instead, she practically fell into Callie's arms and started shaking with tears. Callie just held her tight. There was nothing she could say that Arizona didn't already know in her head. Arizona was smart; she knew Jordan was behind bars and no longer a threat. But it was getting her heart and her psyche to understand that would take time and patience. Reason wouldn't help, but support might. And Callie could give her that in spades.

When Arizona's tears subsided and she started swiping at the moisture on her face, Callie looked down into those watery blue eyes and forced a smile. "A little better now?"

Arizona nodded. "A little."

Callie placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and stepped back. "Let's get what you need and get out of here, okay?"

"Sounds wonderful. Can you get the small suitcase out of that closet for me? I'll go get my toiletries together."

After doing that, Callie took a minute to look around the bedroom while Arizona was in the master bath. It was the same mixture of modern with hints of colors and softer touches throughout. The furniture was a warm walnut and the bedding was just the right shade of blue to remind Callie of Arizona's eyes. There were a few pictures and knickknacks on the dresser that drew her. One picture was of Arizona in full academic regalia surrounded by what must have been her parents and her brother. The resemblance between the younger man and Arizona was really uncanny.

There was another picture of the two siblings with a darker-haired man about the same age, all sitting on the railing of a deck with the ocean behind them. Callie looked at the joy that was so plain on Arizona's face and it made her heart break. _She was so innocent then, back before he died and Sandy hurt her. She must have been so blindingly radiant back then. I want to meet that person. She's still got to be inside her somewhere. I'll just have to find her and pull her out of the darkness that seems to be eating at her so often. _She tried not to consider how hard that would be or that her own demons and darkness might be obstacles. No, she had a goal, a mission, and if there was one thing a stubborn, type-A Latina could do, it was fight like hell when her mind was set.

Arizona appeared at her shoulder. "That was a month before Tim shipped out the last time. Our friend Nick was back from another crazy trip abroad, Tim had just been promoted to Captain, and I was about to start my fourth year of residency. We went to this little island in North Carolina where we used to go on family vacations and rented a house for the week, just the three of us. We were all on our way to living these amazing lives, doing exactly what we loved. We had it all back then. It was probably the best week of my life."

Callie snaked her arm around Arizona's waist. "I'm glad you have those memories. Where's your friend now?"

"Nick? Last I heard he was in Turkey. He's a photojournalist. But I haven't heard from him in a few months. That's just how we operate, really, so it's not strange. He'll pop up eventually." She sighed as her eyes went back to the photo. "That feels like a lifetime ago."

Callie didn't have an answer so she just tightened her grip.

"Well, let's stop dawdling," Arizona finally said as she pulled open a drawer. Callie's eyes caught a glimpse of red satin and lace and she swallowed hard as she stepped back to give Arizona room. _It's just lingerie which is just material until it's put on, right? God I bet she looks amazing in it though._ She took a deep breath and tried to get the image of Arizona in a red negligée out of her mind. It didn't work.

"What are you smirking about?"

Callie blinked and found Arizona watching her with an amused grin. "Nothing."

"Uh huh," Arizona said as she tossed her toiletry bag on top of the clothes that had somehow appeared in the suitcase while Callie's mind was elsewhere. She walked up to Callie and ran her finger lightly along Callie's collarbone. "Yes, I do look good in lingerie."

Callie's mouth went dry as she looked down into eyes that seemed darker somehow. "Um, what? No I wasn't thinking…" She stopped as the lie died on her lips and swallowed hard. "Okay, I was thinking about that."

Arizona got a sly grin on her face. "Glad to hear that. And you'll see it someday, but we're taking this slow, remember?" She placed a gentle kiss on the corner of Callie's mouth and then stepped back. "It'll be worth the wait, I promise."

Callie felt the warmth of a blush come to her cheeks as she nodded and let her head fall to Arizona's shoulder as she let out a long breath. She hadn't really let herself think about sex with Arizona in too much detail. It was just too overwhelming at this point and too far down the road. But just this hint of what it would mean was so overwhelming right now that Callie could barely believe it. She finally stood up, her composure back just a little and nodded. "Okay," she drew out and then laughed. "I swear I feel like a fifteen year old nervous about her first boyfriend."

"Well, I know we're not going steady yet," Arizona said with a bright smile, "but I'll hopefully end up being your first girlfriend, so it's understandable." She bit at her lip and then laughed lightly herself. "And it's ridiculously adorable."

"I usually try to go for hot and sexy, not adorable."

"Ah, well," Arizona said, a little color now coming to her cheeks, "you've got the hot and sexy down pretty naturally. The adorable is special, though, because it's not how I envision you. I like it."

"I'll remember that." Callie cleared her throat. "So, while I'm enjoying this, we should probably get going and get you settled before your body remembers it's still healing and you crash."

"True. Okay, I want to get my laptop so I can get some work done while I'm on medical leave. It's in the living room so I guess I have to ask if I can have it."

Callie nodded absently, still slightly distracted by all the flirting banter they'd just shared, and went over to grab the suitcase. "I guess sitting around all day isn't as attractive an idea when you're forced to do it."

Arizona nodded. "Seriously." She then left the bedroom, leaving the door open so Callie could follow.

Callie went back out into the living room and waited while Arizona spoke to the detective. She wasn't really listening to what they were saying, but couldn't help but smile as she just watched Arizona. She was still so in awe of this woman and these feelings she was discovering. It was new and shiny, that was for sure. It was also still pretty terrifying, but Callie chose to forget her fears in that minute and just watch Arizona as she talked and then retrieved her laptop. Callie didn't even really notice the injuries at this point; she just saw one of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen.

"Ready?" Arizona asked as she came up to her.

"Yup," Callie said with a broad smile.

They left the apartment, ducking under the police tape and then heading to the elevator. Neither said a word until they were inside. That was when Arizona let out a huge sigh of relief and fell back against the elevator wall. "Glad that's over."

"You did great. Think of that as step one of coming to terms with this and eventually putting it behind you."

"Leaving it in the past sounds like a good idea." She smiled just a little as she reached out and took Callie's hand. "Especially now that I have you in my present and hopefully in my future."

Callie closed the distance between them and placed her left hand gently on Callie's uninjured cheek. "I hope so. I want that."

Arizona pushed herself up on her toes to meet Callie's height and give her a sweet kiss. "Then let's make that happen."

The elevator dinged and the door opened on the building's lobby. "Let's," Callie said with a broad smile as she gently pulled on Arizona's hand to lead her out of the elevator. _It's going to be a long road, but we've already taken the hardest step, right? Now we just need to chip away at it, step by step._

TBC…


	23. Chapter 23

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Yeah, I got nothing other than heartfelt thanks for the comments. They are always welcome and appreciated. They encourage me to write faster (and procrastinate my paper). Hint, hint!

Still in paper-writing hell, which will be followed next week by final-writing hell and then a weekend of de-cluttering/packing (I'm moving in October and want to de-clutter before I head out for vacation). So, I may get an update in the next 10 days or so, but won't promise it. But since I'll be on vacation the last week of August/first week of September, I'll try to make up for it then!

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><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

Callie opened the door to her guest room and walked in, followed by Arizona. "So, this is it."

Arizona looked around and smiled. "This is nice. Most people cram their guest rooms with storage crap."

Callie smiled proudly. She kept a pretty neat house—helped immeasurably by the cleaning service that came by twice a week—but still she prided herself on keeping down on as much clutter as a house with two busy surgeons—okay now only one—and three toddlers could have. But the neatness had been drilled into her as a child. After all, as her mother would so often say, you never knew when someone important would stop by. And if there was an important person in her life right now, it was certainly Arizona. "I try to be ready when I can. My parents tend to come out here for business a lot with little notice."

"Ah," Arizona said as she put her laptop on the dresser top. "Well, I still can't thank you enough for this."

"It's not a problem." Callie's stomach flipped as the thought came back to her that while they were here together, safe in the privacy of her house, they wouldn't have to hide. She placed the suitcase on the foot of the bed and walked over to Arizona, smiling at her. "Besides, now I have you as a captive audience."

Arizona raised an eyebrow playfully. "Captive, huh?" She took half a step closer until their bodies were only an inch or so apart.

Callie swallowed hard as her heart pounded. She looked down into Arizona's eyes and then laughed nervously. "Okay, I'm so out of flirting practice."

"It's refreshing," Arizona said with an understanding smile. "But you're welcome to practice whenever you want. Well, not at work, but anywhere else."

"You know what I'd rather practice?" Callie put her hands on Arizona's hips and pulled their bodies together. "I think I need to practice kissing a girl."

"Yeah?" Arizona ran the fingers of her right hand lightly up Callie's arm.

"Most definitely," Callie breathed out as she brought her lips to Arizona's. This kiss quickly passed over sweet as Arizona wrapped her hand in Callie's hair and pulled them together. As their tongues began to explore each other's mouths, Arizona pressed her body forward, forcing Callie to back up toward the wall until she was pressed against it. As Arizona leaned into her, Callie moaned into her mouth.

She tried to concentrate, to learn the feel of Arizona against her, but it was so overwhelming. It was different and even a little strange to feel the curves against her, especially where their breasts mashed together, but while it was new, it was also incredibly tantalizing. So much so that Callie wanted more; she tried to pull Arizona even closer, but of course that was impossible. Instead she just kissed her more frantically, feeling herself become more and more turned on by this intimate kiss. But then her mind seemed to catch up to her hormones and she realized how far this had gone. She turned her head suddenly and pushed at Arizona. "Stop."

Arizona's eyes went wide as she took a huge step back. "What? What's wrong?"

Callie shook her head, still trying to catch her breath. "No, no it's okay." She resisted her natural urge to just ramble and waited for her heart rate to drop a little and for her breathing to ease. "I'm just not ready to go that fast."

Arizona seemed to deflate and she took a hesitant step forward but stopped short. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you."

"No, you didn't." Callie reached out and gently pulled on Arizona's hand to get her to move closer. She then pulled Arizona into a hug. "You didn't push me at all. I think I just got a little weirded out is all."

"What bothered you? Talk to me." Arizona's voice was muffled from where her face was buried against Callie's shoulder.

"Let's go sit down," Callie said. Part of her felt so stupid for all these confused feelings and uncertainties and she could only hope that Arizona would understand. But she needed to make sure they were on the same page, especially since they would undoubtedly be spending an incredible amount of alone time with one another in the next few days. When they were sitting next to one another on the bed, Callie took Arizona's hand. She didn't ever want her to think she didn't want this, whatever this ended up being. "You have to remember that I've got a ton going on in my head right now. I just asked Owen for a divorce first of all, so I want to make sure I do this right with you. I know my marriage really never had a chance. We got married for the wrong reasons. But right now I'm hoping I have a chance to have a healthy relationship and so I really want to build this slowly, okay?"

"I get that," Arizona said quietly as she squeezed Callie's hand.

"Thanks," Callie said as she smiled weakly at Arizona. She then sighed. "And I know I've been trying to project as much confidence as I can, what with the whole kissing you all the time trying to get you to say yes, but really deep down, I'm still so uncertain of this." She took a breath and saw a worried crease come to Arizona's forehead. "No, not of my attraction to you. Definitely not." It was hard to explain, though, without her sounding like she doubted it all. She sighed when she couldn't find the right words.

"It's okay. Just explain it to me. I can't understand what I don't know, right?"

Those words reminded her of what originally drew her to Arizona. She could still remember the feeling she had when Arizona had celebrated with her at Riley's recovery and when Arizona had said she was amazing, it was like she had been walking through the desert for so long without water and finally found a lake. It wasn't just that Arizona was hot, although Callie now realized that she was also physically attracted to her, it was that feeling Arizona gave her that she was seen, truly seen. "Have you ever been attracted to a man?"

"No. I mean I can find men attractive from a purely aesthetic point of view and I generally love guys as far as being friends, but I've never been actually attracted to a guy." She paused and took a deep breath. "I'm not saying it could never, ever happen. I hope I'm not that closed minded, but I just don't think it would. Men really are the opposite of everything I'm attracted to in women."

Callie laughed dryly. "I would have said the same thing about women just a few weeks ago."

"I'm still not following you. If you are sure you're attracted to me, then what's the uncertainty about?"

Callie took a deep breath to speak when the doorbell rang. "Crap. Not saved by the bell."

Arizona patted her knee. "It's okay. Why don't we finish this talk later, okay? I want to take a shower and then grab a nap anyway. I'm really tired."

"Okay." Callie leaned over and gave Arizona a quick kiss. "Really, no doubts about you, okay?"

Arizona nodded, but Callie felt a little unease from her. "Go answer the door."

Callie rose to leave. "Towels are in the linen closet next to the bathroom. Yell if you need anything."

"Will do."

Callie walked out of the guest room and sighed heavily. She wasn't even really sure how to explain that she could be so certain how she felt about Arizona and yet still feel so much uncertainty about dating a woman and what that meant. _It's just new and so I'm nervous that's all._ The doorbell rang again and she let out an exasperated sigh as she quickened her steps.

As she turned the corner into the entranceway, she saw Owen standing at the front door. She motioned with her hand for him to come in and he did, with a slight smile on his face. "Hi. I came by to get a few things from the basement. I didn't just want to walk in since Arizona is here."

"Thanks. Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" She glanced upward as she heard the shower turn on. She had to tell him sooner or later, and maybe if she did, then she would feel just that much more certain. And she truly believed Owen was still a good friend and someone she could ask for advice, so the sooner he was in her corner the better. She had a feeling she might need someone other than Addison to run things by when it came to Arizona.

"Sure."

"How about we go sit on the porch? It's a pretty nice day."

When they were both settled on the rocking chairs on the porch, Owen tilted his head. "Okay, shoot."

Now that they were sitting there, she felt her mouth go dry and her heart pound. But still she wanted to tell him. "Um, well, I need to tell you something and I hope you can understand this. I don't want you to think this has anything to do with us or the end of our marriage, either, because it doesn't."

Owen got a small smile on his face, like he was in on some joke she had no idea about. "Okay, lay it on me."

"What? You've got that cat that ate the canary look on your face."

He got more serious and looked down at his hands. He finally looked back up at her and smiled. "I know what you're going to say."

"Um, no you don't." There was no way he could know. Well, unless someone told him, but so few people knew. "Did you talk to Sloan?"

"No, but I know you." He leaned forward in the chair and fixed those pale eyes on her. "I realize you were never truly head over heels in love with me, but I've seen that look on your face a time or two, the one you get when you are infatuated with someone. And you've been giving Dr. Robbins that look a lot lately when you think no one is watching."

In a way she was relieved that Owen had figured it out and more importantly that he didn't seem overly upset. This at least meant they could talk about it without her having to ambush him with this new facet of her life. She nodded with just the slightest smile. "Um, yeah, I guess I've sort of fallen for her."

"Have you told her or are you going to torture yourself by having her stay with you a few days without her knowing?"

Callie couldn't help but laugh as she remembered how she told her. "Yes, I most certainly told her. At first, she kept saying no, but then after the attack she changed her mind. Almost dying made her realize she wanted to try things with me I guess."

"So, you and Robbins, huh?" He seemed to get lost in a moment of thought and then he leaned back in the rocking chair and sent her a curious look. "Is she the first woman you've ever fallen for or whatever you want to call it?"

"Yes," she answered quickly, but then she thought about it for a moment. "I mean I guess. I don't know. I've been a little too busy coming to terms with these feelings. I haven't had time to do a hindsight retrospective." She let out a breath of relief at how he seemed to be relaxing. "So, you're okay with this?"

"I wasn't aware I had a right to not be anymore." He must have realized his words came out a tad harsh, because he shook his head and said, "Sorry. No, I don't have a problem with this. I mean, sure, it's a little weird for me, but I think I can wrap my mind around it and I know you aren't leaving me for her. We'd have broken up regardless. And even if we're getting a divorce, we're stuck with each other for life. To be honest, I'm happy about that, because I think that even after everything, we're still pretty good friends. I know things are strange now between us, but I want you to know that I want us to stay friends. And as your friend, I want you to be happy."

Callie couldn't help but smile broadly at him. She knew she was incredibly lucky that he was taking all these changes in their lives so well. She'd always known he was an incredibly good man, but it was good to see that assessment backed up by his actions at a time when he had every right to be mad or hurt. "Thank you. And I agree about us being friends. It's good to hear it from you, though."

He shrugged. "Well, you did give me and Cristina your begrudging blessing, so I guess it's only fair to do the same."

"How's that going, by the way?"

"Not bad. Slow. But that's probably good. She's not like she seems around the hospital, at least not totally. It's strangely easy." He took a deep breath and then let it out.

"Slow is good. We made that mistake, you and I, going too fast." She let out a dry laugh. "I'm going to take this real slow with Arizona, get to really know her, get comfortable. It's time we both find that person we're meant to be with and I have a good feeling with her. I hope Cristina is that person for you." She really did want Owen to be happy, not only because she wanted her kids to have happy parents, but because he was truly a good guy, and a good friend, and he deserved it. They both did.

"Me, too," he said with just the hint of wistfulness in his smile. "Well, now that we've had this little heart to heart, I should grab my stuff and get going. I need to get back to the hospital and finish some paperwork." Owen stood up and put his hands in his pockets. He paused, like he was going to say something else, but then just turned and went into the house.

Callie watched him go and then looked out over the woods that stretched out past her front lawn. "Well, at least that went okay." She let out a little laugh that was laced with just enough of the nerves that seemed relatively permanent these days, and went back into the house to get started on some housework before Arizona woke up from her nap.

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><p><em>She was running like she'd never run before. Her heart pounding, mouth dry, she ran and ran and yet the door never seemed to get any closer. The heavy breathing from behind her seemed to be getting closer and closer though, so close that she could practically feel the hot breath on her back. And then she was being pulled back roughly, slamming into the ground, being pinned by so much weight she couldn't even struggle. Her attacker was faceless, but the hands that were suddenly around her neck were so strong that it didn't matter. All that mattered was she needed to draw a breath, a single sweet inhale of oxygen, but she couldn't. <em>

_And then the person, the woman, leaned down so that she could see her face. Sandy was leaning in to her, a hideous smile on her lips. "You don't get to have your life back," she hissed. "It's mine. It's always been mine. And I'm going to take it right now."_

_No, no, it's my life, it's mine. Her mind screamed it over and over as she clawed at Sandy's face, trying desperately to fight back._

"_Mine."_

"No!" she screamed as she sat up in the bed, her heart pounding and gasping for air. She looked around, totally disoriented and not recognizing her surroundings. And then she heard footsteps pounding in her direction and she panicked, frantically looking around for a way to escape.

"Arizona?" Callie was suddenly there, running into the room, her eyes wide in fear. "Arizona, what's wrong?"

Arizona heard the now familiar voice and looked up to find her slowly approaching the bed, a hand extended like she was approaching a wounded animal. "Callie?" Arizona's brain was still not engaging; she couldn't remember where she was or why she was in this strange place. "Calliope?" she whispered desperately.

Callie sat down on the edge of the bed, still seeming overly cautious. "It's okay, Arizona. You're safe. I'm here and I won't let anyone hurt you, okay? You're safe."

It all flooded back then, as her breathing evened and her heart rate dropped. She remembered the attack, the hospital, coming to Callie's house to recover. And most of all, she remembered Callie and how wonderful she'd been. Tears sprang to her eyes. "It was Sandy. She was the one strangling me, telling me it was her life and she was going to take it from me. She was going to kill me so she could keep control."

Callie moved closer then and pulled Arizona into her strong arms. "It's okay, it was just a nightmare. It's your life, Arizona. It's all yours to live how you want. Sandy doesn't have anything over you anymore, okay? It's your life."

The tears fell then, came out in waves of sobs, as she clung to Callie. She wanted to believe that, wanted to think that Sandy was in her past and couldn't control her anymore, but it was so hard. She'd given that power up five years before and she wasn't sure she could find it again, had actually never wanted to find it again before now. But with Callie in her life, she wanted it for the first time. She just wasn't sure how to find the confidence to trust in her. It was just so hard to open up. It still terrified her and yet she wanted to try like she hadn't since Sandy. As her breathing quieted and her sobs turned to just tears, she finally whispered, "Thank you."

"No thanks needed. We're starting something here between us and part of that is being here for you." Callie sat up straighter so they could look at one another. She offered a sad smile and then reached up to wipe the tears from Arizona's face, being gentle as she wiped along her injured cheek. "We'd both be naïve if we didn't think you were going to have some nightmares and tough times, right? But I'm going to do my best to be here when you need someone and tell you it's going to be alright."

"You will?" She knew she sounded like a lost little girl, and that's how she felt, but she needed that reassurance now more than ever.

"Of course I will." Callie pulled Arizona back into her embrace, tucking the blonde head under her chin and rubbing her back absently. "Even if we were nothing more than friends I'd be here for you."

"But we are going to be more," Arizona whispered to herself.

"I think we already are," Callie whispered in her ear.

Arizona chuckled quietly as she wiped at her face and sat up straight, extracting herself from Callie's embrace. "Yeah, I guess so. I don't know what to label it, but it's more."

Callie waved her hand as she also laughed. "Who needs labels? I mean, I'm not labeling my sexuality yet so why should I name what you are to me? I kind of prefer the whole namelessness of it all. Makes it more mysterious and interesting that way."

"Mysterious?"

"Yeah, there needs to be a little mystery, right?" Callie shook her head with an amused smile. "But you'll never guess what's not mysterious."

Arizona raised one eyebrow. "I don't know, what?"

"How Owen is going to react to word that I'm suddenly taking batting practice with the other team."

Arizona couldn't help but laugh. "Batting practice? Is that what you're calling this?"

Callie shrugged with a small smile. "Well, I'm still figuring things out, so I figure batting practice is like trying it out, you know?"

Arizona sucked in a breath of air. _What if I'm just some early midlife crisis experiment? What if she's not serious about this? What if she leads me on and then dumps me for some guy?_

Callie frowned and ducked her head to catch Arizona's eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Arizona blinked and forced a smile to her lips. She wasn't ready to confront this, not yet, especially when she was basically committed to spending the next few days with Callie. And she knew Callie was still feeling uncertain, but that wasn't going to mean she would choose to go back to guys. Callie seemed inclined to try so that should be enough for now. She needed to take chances if she wanted to get back to who she was before Sandy broke her heart after all. "Nothing. Really. So what was that about Owen?"

For a moment it looked like Callie was going to press her, but then she gave the smallest of shakes to her head and smiled. "He stopped by to get a few things while you were in the shower. So, I figured I better tell him. But he already knew."

"He knew?"

"Well, okay, he figured it out. I guess he saw some of the looks I was giving you and he knows me pretty well after five years of marriage." Callie shrugged. "He didn't know we were going to give this a go, but he knew I was into you."

"And?"

"Oh, he's okay with it I think. He said he was and that he wants me to be happy."

Arizona thought back to the strange conversation she'd had with Owen, if you could call it that. "You know what's weird? Back when things were a little tense between us, Owen came up to me and told me not to hurt you. I wonder if he knew then."

Callie got a thoughtful look on her face and then shrugged. "I don't know and I guess it's not really important. What's important is that he'll support us, if we work out."

Arizona noticed Callie's uncertainty yet again and it made her stomach sink. It was kind of stupid, really, to want her to be confident of something that wasn't even 24-hours old yet, but Arizona needed this to work. She was just so terrified of what would happen if it didn't. And here was Callie suddenly seeming doubtful and Arizona worried yet again that maybe she was making a mistake. She couldn't take it if Callie chose to leave, not now that her hopes had been raised and she was taking one of the biggest risks of her life.

Callie must have noticed something, because she scooted a little closer on the bed and frowned. "Talk to me, okay? There's something wrong."

"I…" Arizona took a deep breath and decided to let it out. "I'm afraid you're going to decide this isn't for you. That being in a relationship with a woman isn't what you want or you can't do it or whatever. I'm afraid I'll get my hopes up and you'll walk away." She dropped her eyes and whispered, "Like Sandy."

Callie sighed quietly and her eyes fell to Arizona's hand. She reached out and took it, running her thumb along the skin on the back of her hand. "I can't really promise anything, Arizona, other than I won't ever lie to you, not about my feelings, okay?" Her dark eyes rose tentatively. "Every time I look at you, I get butterflies in my stomach and I want nothing more than to reach out and touch you. And when I look into your eyes, I want to know what's going on in your head, because you fascinate me. I've never been so turned on just by a kiss before in my life, Arizona. That's all I know right now. That and that I don't ever want to hurt you. Is that enough for now? Can you give me time to figure this out?"

_Can I be okay with that right now?_ She wished it could be different, that Callie could be certain of everything. She had to remember back to her own teen years as she was coming to terms with her own attractions and she remembered the fear and uncertainty as she faced a future that was different than what she had assumed, what she had been told by the world she should be. She had never doubted that she was a lesbian and yet it had still been hard to come to terms with it in some ways, although a lot of that was the uncertainty of youth, of trying to find her place in the world. The least she could do was give Callie the time to come to terms with this herself. Arizona took a deep breath as she nodded. "I can give you that time. Just please, always be straight with me." She laughed at her unintentional pun. "Okay, maybe not straight, but you know what I mean."

Callie joined in the laughter. "Yeah, not exactly what we're going for here, huh?" When they both stopped laughing, Callie reached up and gently touched Arizona's face. "I will keep you up to date on the play by play, okay?" She then leaned forward and gave Arizona a sweet kiss.

"Sounds like a plan," Arizona said against her lips before kissing her again, still keeping it sweet. She didn't want a repeat of their heated kiss and Callie's slight freak out from earlier. Besides, there was something amazing about these almost innocent kisses that gave Arizona a sense of promise, of things to come, that she was really beginning to love.

"So," Callie said when they broke apart, "you think you can get a little more sleep? You were only out for like twenty minutes and you need your rest. I can stay here with you if you think that will help."

Arizona was afraid to go back to sleep. She didn't want to have that nightmare again, or any other nightmare for that matter. But she couldn't very well not sleep and she wanted to avoid taking any sedatives if she could, especially during the day. Maybe with Callie there she could get some rest. It was worth a try. "That might help."

Callie then seemed hesitant, nervous even. "Um, do you want me to just sit in the chair, or, well, I could…" She giggled nervously then and Arizona had to smile at her reaction.

"Go on, say it. I won't bite," Arizona said.

"Um, do you want me to hold you?" Callie said, cringing almost like she expected to have her head bit off. "I know things are still new and stuff," she suddenly started to say in a rush. "And I don't know if you are someone who likes that sort of thing or would be comfortable with it or whatever, but I know that when I've had a nightmare or am feeling bad, having someone there to hold me makes me feel safer and it always seems to help. But maybe that's just me. I can be a little strange sometimes."

"It's not strange," Arizona said as she flipped the blanket back in invitation. "And I would really love that. You make me feel safe."

Callie's smile was radiant as she kicked her shoes off and climbed under the blankets on Arizona's left side. They settled down against the pillows and spent a few moments awkwardly trying to find a comfortable position, each laughing as they tried to organize limbs. Arizona tried to find a way to get settled but her heart was pounding and she felt butterflies in her stomach as Callie finally settled behind her, one arm lying under the crook of Arizona's neck while her other arm was wrapped around her waist. "Is this okay?" Callie asked, her breath tickling the back of Arizona's neck.

Arizona wrapped her good arm around her so that it was lying on Callie's warm forearm. "Well, once my heart rate returns to normal, I think this will be perfect."

Callie's laughter was light in her ear. "I know what you mean. Just close your eyes. You'll fall asleep."

Arizona took a deep breath and did as Callie suggested. It really was soothing to be wrapped in strong arms, to feel enveloped in the warmth of this woman who had quickly come to mean so much to her. Arizona pushed her worries and doubts from her mind and just tried to relish this for the moment. If this was all they ever ended up being, she might be able to live with that, but in Callie's arms she had hope that things would work out. And as she drifted off to sleep she couldn't help but smile.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** First off, thanks so much for the reviews. They are generally wonderful and I truly appreciate them all. So, more are always welcome! And to the guest who thinks this is dragging, well this story is going to be slow. I have a lot I want to do and I intend on taking my time to do it. That's the story I want to write for me and I don't pretend that everyone will like what I'm doing. Different strokes for different folks and all that.

And speaking of dragging, sorry this chapter took so long. I had my paper and then my final due plus I'm moving in October so I've started tossing 13 years of junk and packing what's left. Oh, yeah, and I'm also cheating on this story by writing another one that I probably won't publish until it's done or damn well close to it (it's another Calzona angst-fest and sort of a sequel to Thin Line). But on the bright side, I'll be leaving for a 2-week vacation next weekend and will have lots of free time to write while I'm lounging around on the deck and avoiding dealing with my family! So hopefully I'll get out a few chapters done at the beach.

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><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>

Callie started to wake up and wondered what was tickling her nose. She took a deep breath full of vanilla and jasmine and opened her eyes to find blond hair draped over her face. She couldn't help but smile even as she reached up to push the hair out of her face, although not before she took a moment to run her fingers through the soft strands.

Arizona was still sleeping and had rolled over on her back at some point. Callie's arm was still pinned under her neck, holding her in place, so Callie figured she might as well put the time of her confinement to good use.

Her heart broke as she looked at Arizona's face, taking in the line of sutures and the deepening bruises along her cheekbone. The bruising around her neck was lighter than that on her cheek, but it was way more painful for Callie to look at. She just couldn't believe all that Arizona had been through, how terrified she must have been to come home from work only to have someone ambush her in her own apartment. She had literally had to fight for her life and would have lost if not for Mark and Addison being there to stop it from happening. _She would have died. And for what? For some crazy woman's deluded fantasies of her ex and Arizona? _

It just made Callie realize how truly fickle life could be and she didn't want to just sit in the stream of it and let it take her where it would. _No, I'm going to finally do what's right for me. I don't care what my parents think, what Owen thinks, what Ellis thinks. _She sighed quietly as she looked back at Arizona again, this time not really seeing the damage to her flesh, but instead seeing the amazing woman lying next to her. _I do care what you think, though. But I also have the feeling you'd want me to do what I think is right, not what you'd want me to do. At least I hope so. _

Arizona wrinkled her nose in her sleep and Callie couldn't help but smile broadly. _Okay, that was just too cute._ She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at how adorable it really was. _God, you really are beautiful. I could just lie here and look at you forever I think._ Her eyes went to Arizona's lips, those lips that had already won her over and ignited something in her that she had never felt before. _I really don't doubt this attraction, not at all. But I'm incredibly nervous about what's to come. The thought of touching you, being touched by you, God I'm so scared of that and yet I know I want it. Not yet, not for a while. I won't be ready for a while, but I do want it. I want to share that with you._

She only then realized that her heart was beating faster than normal and she had to swallow another laugh at how crazy this all was. She wasn't sure she had even been this nervous about starting a relationship with her first boyfriend, probably because she had been too naïve back then. But this time around she understood what it all meant, especially the pressure she felt not to hurt Arizona, and it was just a little overwhelming. She finally sighed, trying to push the negative thoughts out of her mind.

"You're watching me," Arizona whispered with her eyes still closed.

Callie's laughter finally bubbled up at being caught. "Do you blame me? You're really pretty adorable when you sleep."

Arizona wiped at her mouth. "I wasn't drooling or snoring was I?" Her eyes popped open. "I didn't talk in my sleep I hope."

"No, no, and no." She smiled as blue eyes turned to her and blinked a few times as they obviously focused. "You talk in your sleep?"

Arizona shook her head with a light laugh as she moved to sit up. "Not usually." She stretched and extended her good arm. "I feel much better now. How long did I sleep?"

Callie looked at her watch as she too moved to a seated position. "We both slept about two hours. That's not too bad."

"And how long were you watching me?" Arizona smiled at her with amusement in her eyes.

Callie felt a flush come to her cheeks at having been caught. "Only a few minutes."

Arizona looked at her for a few moments. "And what were you thinking about?"

Callie thought about how to answer that. Should she lie or tell the truth or something in between? She bit at her lip and couldn't hold Arizona's gaze right then, so she looked down at her hands for a moment before drawing in a reassuring breath and looking back up into those impossibly blue eyes. "I was thinking that you're beautiful." That earned her just the smallest of smiles. "And I was thinking how I'm going to finally do what I want to do and not try to live the life others think I should live. It's a bit scary, but it's time."

Arizona drew in a sharp breath and then let it out. "I think maybe that's something we both need to do, huh?"

Callie nodded as she reached out and took Arizona's hand. "So does that mean you're going to go tell Ellis Grey to stuff herself when you get back to work?" Callie laughed lightly as she shook her head. "I know you really can't, but it would be nice, huh?"

Arizona's eyes dropped to look at their joined hands. "It would be. Maybe someday, when I know for sure I have something to fight for, I'll be strong enough to do that. But baby steps until then, okay?"

"For both of us," Callie said with a slightly sad smile. A silence fell between them then, and Callie hated the heaviness of it all. They needed to stop all this introspection, at least for now, and just enjoy what they were starting. So, she leaned forward and gave Arizona a light kiss. "You want some lunch?"

"Are you going to make me eat green things?"

Callie laughed at the mock panic in Arizona's eyes. "How about some greasy grilled cheese and soup? That's about the only unhealthy thing I can offer for now. But for dinner, I'm going to start you eating better."

Arizona sighed heavily, but it was definitely more for effect than any amount of seriousness. "If I have to. And grilled cheese sounds great. That's about the only kind of sandwich I like."

"Not a sandwich person. Check." Callie stood up and offered her hand to help pull Arizona up to stand beside her. "That's good, I'm not such a fan myself."

"Too many carbs?"

Callie shook her head. "No, just don't like them. I'm more of a pizza person myself."

"Why, Dr. Torres, that's so unhealthy of you. Think about all that artery clogging cheese, not to mention what any meat toppings can do to you."

Callie laughed loudly at Arizona's playful chiding. "Everything in moderation, Dr. Robbins. Now, let's go get you fed. Your body needs fuel to heal." She pulled on Arizona's good hand so that Arizona practically fell into Callie. "But first, I want a quick kiss."

"Oh, you do, huh?"

"Don't you?"

Arizona's smile brought out her dimples and lit up her deep blue eyes. "Very much so."

Callie fought the smile that tried to come to her lips, but it was impossible, and so she let it shine as she lowered her head to Arizona and brushed her lips against the softest lips she'd ever known. It was obvious that Arizona was letting Callie set the pace, and the brunette realized that it came from a certain fear that Callie would freak out again if things went too fast. While Callie wanted to reassure Arizona, she also knew she needed this care that Arizona was showing and she needed to keep things simple and slow. And so she just spent long moments first enjoying just the simple touch of Arizona's lips and then the easy exploration of each other's mouths as they gently deepened the kiss. It never became frantic or intense and Callie felt like it was one of the most perfect kisses she had ever experienced.

When they finally pulled apart, she smiled down at Arizona. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for kissing you, Callie. It's not like I don't really, really like doing it." There was a playful twinkle to Arizona's eyes.

"No, thank you for caring enough to not push me." She reached up and lightly traced her fingers along Arizona's forehead and then down to her cheek. "It means so much to me. And it's kind of sexy, too."

"Sexy? Really?"

"Yup. I've never really had someone be gentle with me before. I wouldn't have thought I needed it, but I obviously do. And it's not just because of my fears that I need that. It really shows me that you care, even this early on. And that's just plain sexy in my book." She placed a simple kiss on Arizona's forehead. "I just want you to know that I see that."

Arizona smiled as a light blush came to her face, but she didn't say anything. Instead she motioned with a tilt of her head toward the door. "Grilled cheese?"

Callie rolled her eyes with an amused smile. "Yeah, come on."

* * *

><p>"You make one hell of a grilled cheese, Callie." Arizona smiled as she popped the last gooey, buttery morsel into her mouth. "I was afraid you'd use low cal cheese and some sort of fake butter spray all in the name of healthy eating."<p>

Callie's eyes rolled as she looked across the table at Arizona. "Some things should never be messed with. And Rita's grilled cheese recipe is one of them."

"Who's Rita?"

Callie's eyes went just a tad wide and a sheen of color tinted her cheeks. "Um, well, she was my nanny when I was little."

"You had a nanny? I guess that could explain a lot."

"Yes and what does it explain?" There was a hint of defensive bite to her voice.

"Hey, it's okay," Arizona said as she raised her hand to try to calm her down. "It's just I guess that means you grew up relatively well off, which might explain why you present yourself the way you do at work. You know, all super put together and, well, to be blunt, a little aloof. Sort of how I tend to think rich people act. Now I know that's not who you are, but before we became friends, I thought you had a perpetual stick up your ass." She smiled at that to take any sting out of her words.

"Okay, so I grew up with money. What's your excuse?" Callie's smile was playful.

"I never act like I have a stick up my ass," Arizona retorted.

"Oh, really?"

"I grew up in a Marine household so it's a matter of me exemplifying the can-do seriousness of the Marine Corps. Semper Fi, Do or Die and all that."

"A military brat, huh?"

Arizona nodded. "My dad's a retired Colonel. So, that means I lived in six different states and two countries before heading to college. One of the hardest things about going to college was realizing I'd be in the same place for four years." She shrugged. "I learned early on how to get to know new people, so that was good I guess. But it was also hard to make attachments. I really just had my brother and then our friend Nick. His father was in the same infantry battalion and he and my father rose through the ranks together, so we were often stationed at the same place. But otherwise, it was a new school every few years, new friends, new unwritten rules. I guess it made me flexible in some ways, but distant in others."

Callie got a thoughtful look on her face before she reached over to grab Arizona's empty plate along with her own and moving toward the kitchen. "Do you think that adds to your whole trust issue?"

Arizona piled the two soup bowls together and picked them up in her good hand before following along behind Callie. "First off, let me wash up. And secondly, maybe."

"You've got one arm, Arizona. I'll just rinse these off and toss them in the dishwasher. It's no problem. Go sit down."

Arizona frowned but relented. She didn't like being served and she liked it even less that she was almost an invalid. It made her feel weak and needy, two things she never wanted to be, at least never again. With a quiet sigh, she went over and plopped down on the couch in the living room. "So, what exactly do your parents do? Or is it family money?"

Callie closed the dishwasher door and turned the knob to start it before coming over to sit on the couch next to Arizona but leaving a reasonable distance. "Don't think I'm letting you off the hook about your childhood and your problems with trusting people, but we can get back to that later. To answer your question, it's both. My mother's side of the family is wealthy. They come from family money that stretches all the way back to Spain and their ties to the aristocracy in the 1700s. Her family was part of the ruling class of Cuba before all the coups that happened early in the 20th century. They had to leave when there was a revolution back in 1933. So, they came to Miami and luckily they had enough assets off the island that they were able to do quite well for themselves. My mother was born 15 years after her parents and grandparents immigrated and by then they were again one of the leading families in Miami. My father, on the other hand, was born in Cuba to working class parents and was sent over on a plane in 1961 when he was 12 along with a few thousand other children. The Catholic Church ran something called Operation Pedro Pan to get kids out of Cuba so they wouldn't be indoctrinated under Castro. My father's aunt and uncle had fled earlier and were already in Miami so he went to live with them. He never saw his parents again. They died trying to get out when their boat sank."

"Wow, that's amazing and so sad," Arizona said as she thought about how it must have been for a 12-year old to leave his home and his parents to go to a strange country only to never see them again. It just seemed entirely daunting to her.

"Yeah, it really made him pretty resilient. He came over and studied hard, had to learn the language and catch up on school, but by the time he was a senior in high school, he'd gotten a full ride to Harvard. That was incredibly rare in the late 60s for a Cuban kid to get that kind of support. My mother went to Radcliffe, and so they met each other in Cambridge. There were very few Latinos there, and even fewer Cubans, so that drew them together. Their families lived about 2 miles apart in Miami and yet they had to go to Massachusetts to meet. After undergrad, my mother went off to law school and my father got his business degree. They went back to Miami and I was born a year later. My mom is now a senior partner in one of the biggest law firms in Miami. And my father is CEO of Bayshore Hotels and Resorts."

"Really? I went to a women's week at the Bayshore in Cancun last year. It was amazing." Arizona smiled at the memory. "The women were pretty hot, too."

Callie laughed. "Were these all gay women?"

"If they weren't when they arrived, they were when they left," Arizona said with a playful wink.

Callie's laughter was light before she got a thoughtful look on her face. "I wonder if my father knows his company is hosting events for lesbians." She shook her head and let out a quiet sigh. "Let's just say I don't expect either of my parents to be jumping for joy when they find out I'm seeing a woman. They're very old school Catholic."

"Ah," Arizona said quietly. That was certainly something else to be concerned about, because while Callie was making a show of being her own person, there would likely come a time when she would have to face the hard reality of her parents' disapproval, and Arizona knew how strong even the fear of that could be. And that just made her even more worried about whatever this was between them. She still didn't know Callie well enough to determine if she was the kind of person who would lose her determination when the chips were down or fight to get what she wanted no matter what. _You'll only know if you take the time to find out_, she reminded herself, trying to force herself to stay positive about where things were going with Callie. So, instead she decided to try to lighten the discussion a little. "So, we're seeing each other, huh? Is that what you're calling this, Calliope?"

Callie slid a little closer on the couch and tilted her head thoughtfully. "Yes, we're seeing each other. Or dating or whatever you want to call it. Don't you agree?"

Arizona also slid closer so they were almost touching. She then lightly ran the fingers of her right hand around Callie's left knee. "Of course I agree. I was just teasing a little."

Callie took a deep breath, her eyes watching Arizona's fingers circle around her knee. "Arizona, um…" Her voice dropped off and yet her eyes stayed riveted on the fingers tracing her patella.

Arizona stopped the motion of her fingers as she worried that she was again crossing a line. "I'm sorry, is that too much?"

"No, no," Callie said, her eyes shooting up to meet Arizona's gaze. "No, I like it when you touch me like that. It's not too much at all." She let out a long breath. "It's just, well, I want to make sure we're on the same page, you know? I don't want you to be walking on egg shells around me or be afraid to touch me or kiss me, because I do really like that. But I really need to take this slow, okay?"

"I know. I need slow, too. I told you that."

Callie just looked at her for a moment before she blurted out, "I made Owen promise me he wouldn't sleep with Cristina until after the divorce was final." Callie winced slightly, but she didn't look away.

"Ah," Arizona said as she nodded slowly. "So, you want to wait that long, too." She didn't need to ask, obviously.

"Would you be okay with that?" Before Arizona could answer, Callie jumped in and started rambling. "I mean, I don't want you to think I'm not interested in that, in sleeping with you, because I am. Sure, it scares me, really scares me in fact, but I do want it. I'm just not ready yet, and probably wouldn't be for a while anyway, but I did make vows before God when I married him. And I just feel like I don't want those vows standing between us. I feel like we've got a real chance here, Arizona. I'm hoping this really works out into something permanent, but if I break those vows, then what does that say about my dedication to anyone, right? What would that mean for our future?"

Arizona couldn't help but smile at her words. She had an incredibly good point about the importance of those promises she made to Owen when she married him, but it still meant waiting three months. And when she thought about that, really it dampened the sentiment. She wasn't sure she could wait that long. After all, it had probably been ten years since she'd gone more than a month without sex, and now Callie was asking her to go without for far longer than that.

She felt so unsure of everything with Callie and she couldn't be sure of the truth of anything she said. Was this just Callie's way of saying she was afraid of sex with a woman? Maybe she didn't really want it, maybe all she could ever give Arizona was stolen kisses and spooning in bed. She was straight, after all, wasn't she? Arizona's eyes fell and she let out a quiet sigh. "Callie, you keep talking about us as if we've been together for months, years even, and we've got this whole relationship thing figured out. We don't know if this will last a week, let alone a lifetime. I'm not so sure I can worry about whether breaking your vows with Owen means you would ever betray me. We're so far from being there."

"Oh," Callie said as she sat up straighter. She swallowed hard and her eyes fell to where her fingers clenched into tight fists. She let out a deep breath and spoke without raising her eyes. "I'm not saying that I know this will work. I'm not that naïve. But I'm not getting involved with you just to have a tryst or to experiment with a woman. I'm looking for something long term and serious. I have a family and I know what I need for them and for myself. I'm not looking for something casual, so if you are, then this isn't right for me. But if you want to take the chance, and maybe, just maybe, this will work, then I'm willing to take that chance with you. That's all I'm saying."

Arizona instantly felt horrible for what she had said. She knew it was just fear eating at her. She was good at running, at hiding, and sex had been her favorite hiding place for years. It was comfortable; it was easy. What Callie was asking of her was hard and scary, terrifying even. She was asking her to get to know her, to develop something that could very well turn into something deep and long term. And, really, the only way they were going to develop that was to focus on them without the complications of sex. Arizona wasn't sure she could do that. She'd have to reveal so much of herself and leave herself open to being hurt. But, really, wasn't that what she was hoping to learn to do? "I know," she finally whispered as she reached out to take Callie's chin and tilt her face up so that she could look into those deep brown eyes. "I'm sorry. I'd be lying if I didn't say this scares me. You're asking me to put myself out there in a way I never have before. I've always had sex to hide behind. I'm not sure how to get close to someone without it."

"Isn't that why we should take it slow? We both have so much to learn and get used to. Let's just take the pressure of sex out of the equation for a while and get used to us, just the two of us and how we live our lives building a relationship. That's what I want. Is it what you want?" Her voice trembled and there were just a hint of tears in her eyes.

"Yes," Arizona answered without taking the time to think about it. It was instinctual and the moment the word was out of her mouth, she knew it was the right answer. She smiled then, relieved at having admitted it. "I do what us to build something. And I do hope this is the relationship we both want and it works out for us and all that. I do want that, so maybe you are right. Maybe waiting is the right thing to do." She let out a laugh that was slightly nervous. "I mean, sure, I'd prefer not to wait that long. I can't remember the last time I went three months without sex, so it will definitely be new for me." She reached out and took Callie's hand in her own. "So, where does the line get drawn then? I mean, I assume kissing is okay, but anything else? I just don't want to push you beyond what you're comfortable with or break any rules."

"Why don't we just say we'll keep our clothes on and I'll let you know if things are going too far." She leaned a little closer and her eyes dropped to Arizona's lips. "But kissing is definitely okay. Very, very okay."

"Oh it is, huh?" Arizona said as she dropped her voice and leaned a little closer herself.

"Very," Callie whispered as she closed the distance between them and lightly brushed their lips together. "So soft," she barely breathed out as she again kissed Arizona, this time letting the kiss deepen slowly.

Arizona took her time, trying hard not to push Callie, and if she were being truly honest, not wanting to push herself either. And while the kiss was far from heated, there was a surprising vulnerability that came out of it, and a passion that burned slow and steady. Frantic and heated kisses were, in a way, masks to hide behind, but this easy exploration did not allow Arizona to hide behind a rush of lust and hormones. This was pure emotion and she felt her heart swell with affection for this amazing woman who was quickly worming her way into her heart. "You're amazing," she muttered against Callie's lips as they parted just slightly, their foreheads resting against one another.

"Me?" Callie laughed quietly. "You're the one taking a chance on the straight girl. Don't think I don't know that."

"Well, I have to admit, I could use a new toaster," she said with a mischievous grin.

"A new toaster?" Callie pulled back and looked at her with a questioning lift of one eyebrow.

Arizona bubbled over with laughter. "I'm sorry. It's a bad lesbian joke about getting a toaster if you recruit a straight girl."

"Ah," Callie said as she smiled with a twinkle in her eye. "So all you get out of it is a toaster?"

Arizona shook her head as she reached up and ran the tip of her finger down Callie's cheek and to her lips. "No, I get you. And that's far better than a toaster."

Callie smiled against Arizona's finger before kissing the digit. "I would hope so."

Arizona leaned in and replaced her finger with her lips. Between a series of light kisses, she whispered, "I know so."

TBC…


	25. Chapter 25

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thanks for all the comments (yes, even you, draggy guest). I'm glad most of you seem to really be enjoying the slow build. And I promise it won't be 110 chapters…not even half that many (although very close). This is my one and only chance to write a first time story for Calzona since I only write canon-based stories, so I'm going to enjoy it for all it's worth.

Here's a bit of a short one, which is why it was posted so quickly. My goal for the next few weeks is to get something out every 2-3 days, although no promises. But I think I can generally do that as long as I don't hit writer's block. We'll see...

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

Arizona sat in the prosecutor's office and regretted telling Callie she could do this alone. It had only been three days since the attack, after all. But being buoyed by the safety of having Callie there in her life had perhaps made her more confident than she really was outside of those strong arms and reassuring whispers. And now that she sat here with just the lawyer she had just hired and the prosecutor, she wished she had told Callie to come with her instead of running into work to check on some patients.

"So, Dr. Robbins, are you ready to begin?" The prosecutor, Kurt Matthews, seemed like a nice man, but there was something in the way he played with his pen that unnerved Arizona.

She swallowed hard and looked over at the lawyer next to her. Rachel Young had come highly recommended by Callie's own lawyer. While it was still strange to think that Callie had the money to actually have a lawyer on retainer, she was glad to know that she had someone to help her through the craziness that was sure to come, and if she happened to have money and connections, then all the better. Rachel smiled over at Arizona and gave her the slightest of nods, which helped settle the gnawing worry in her gut. "I guess so," Arizona answered as she turned back to Matthews.

"Okay, well I just wanted to bring you in here and let you know where we stand." He opened the file sitting on his desk and scanned over it. "Jordan McDaniels is the defendant. From what I have heard, she's stating that she came to your apartment to speak with you and an argument ensued. Then she claims you pushed her into the end table and you started fighting."

Arizona barked out a spat of laughter. "Really? She's claiming that I started it? She hit me over the head with a bottle. She strangled me until I passed out. How the hell does that happen if we were having a little girl fight?" Arizona rolled her eyes and looked over to her lawyer. "Is she for real?"

Rachel shrugged. "She really has no defense unless she makes something up."

"And she's going to bank on the fact that she's a police officer," the prosecutor added. He sighed quietly. "I hate to say it, but if her lawyer does a good job and gets a jury that is more likely to think that cops are good people, there's a chance this could work. The real problem for us is that the cops couldn't find how she got into your apartment. There was no evidence of a break in. So, the fact she was lying in wait is going to be hard to prove because it's your word against hers."

Now Arizona was angry, furious even. "So, the word of a world class surgeon isn't worth anything? There have got to be people who can testify that she's a nut job. Just because she's a cop doesn't mean she's mentally stable. Anyone can break."

He looked down at his hands before meeting her eyes with just the hint of hesitation. "She's saying the same thing about you. She's claiming that you went nuts when she came over to warn you about the woman you were seeing, Heather Williams. That's going to be her defense." He took a deep breath and then said, "So far I think it might be working."

"What do you mean?"

"She made bail. She walked out of jail this morning."

Arizona's heart instantly started to pound and she broke out into a cold sweat. "She's out? Oh, God, what the hell am I going to do?"

"We're going to get a restraining order the second we leave here," Rachel said as she gently put her hand on Arizona's arm.

"And what the hell will that do? Do you know how many times we see women in the ER who had restraining orders against their boyfriend or husband and yet he didn't care? It's not a bulletproof vest; it's a piece of paper." Arizona felt like she just wanted to get up and run, run far away and never look back.

"It's okay," Rachel said as she reached out with both hands to grab Arizona's biceps. Her steel grey eyes were intent and they helped calm Arizona down. "Her whole defense depends on pretending she's innocent, right? If she comes after you, especially when you have a restraining order, she won't have a leg to stand on. I've worked on a number of cases like this and trust me, if she's lucid enough to come up with a defense like this, then she's lucid enough to realize what a colossally bad idea it would be to come after you."

Arizona nodded, but couldn't trust herself to say anything in return. While it logically made sense, still the fear of having Jordan pop up at any time, in any place, was so real it made her heart continue to pound. She was having a hard time thinking and following what was going on around her in the meeting, because she kept remembering the feel of Jordan's fingers around her throat, squeezing tighter and tighter. Finally, Arizona looked up and took a deep breath. "Can we take a break? I need to use the rest room."

"Sure," Matthews said, as he sat back in his chair. "It's just down the hall on the left."

She grabbed her purse and hurried out into the hallway. Once out there, she looked around at the various people wandering up and down the hallway, and she realized she was vulnerable. Jordan could be anywhere, just waiting to get her. In fact, the rest room seemed all too dangerous, what with the stalls for her to hide in, so Arizona instead moved down toward the lobby, where there were a number of people and more importantly, the guards that checked all visitors were nearby. Once there in the safety of all those strangers, she reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, hitting the quick dial for Callie's office phone as she did.

"Dr. Torres," said the familiar voice on the other side.

"Callie, I need you," Arizona said quietly.

"Arizona, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Please, can you just come down here? I…" She took a deep breath as she felt the tears burning in her eyes. "They gave her bail, Callie. She's out there somewhere."

"Okay, I'm on my way, baby," Callie said a little breathlessly as she was obviously quickly scrambling around to get her stuff together. "I'll be there in twenty minutes tops."

"Okay," Arizona answered, her voice quavering. "If I don't text you, we're in Kurt Matthews' office. It's on the second floor. Just ask at the information desk."

"Okay, I've got my keys and I'm leaving right now," Callie said and Arizona could hear a door shut in the background. "You go back to his office and stay with your lawyer, okay? They'll make sure you're safe."

"Thank you," Arizona whispered into the phone as she let out a huge sigh of relief. Having Callie there would make everything much better. "See you in a few."

"Okay, see you then," Callie said before the line went dead.

Arizona took another deep breath and looked around at everyone milling around the lobby area. They all seemed to so normal, so calm, and Arizona had a hard time just then remembering what that was like. _Just hold on til she gets here. She'll make sure you're okay._ Just the thought of Callie being there for her really helped calm her down and she smiled at the thought of having those strong arms around her, making her forget all the scary thoughts of Jordan. "Okay, just go back upstairs and get this over with," she told herself quietly as she felt some control come back. "You can do this."

With a final deep breath she went back upstairs to finish the meeting with the prosecutor and her lawyer. She was only a few steps from the door when she stopped and a goofy grin suddenly shot onto her lips. "She called me baby." She bit at her lip as the butterflies raged through her stomach and she just stood and enjoyed the flush of warmth the thought brought to her. She was enveloped in that warmth and it was like she had put on a Teflon shield that kept everything else at bay, even Jordan and her insanity. Callie had called her baby and right then, right there that was all that mattered.

* * *

><p>Callie walked up to the information desk and waited impatiently for the woman to look up at her. "I'm looking for Kurt Matthews. Can you tell me where his office is?"<p>

Just as the receptionist was about to answer, she saw a flash of blonde hair up on the second floor landing and looked up. Arizona was walking along with another woman with red hair. Arizona had her head down and she was obviously doing something with her phone. As if on cue, Callie's phone beeped with a text message. "Never mind," she said to the woman as she quickly jogged off to the stairs that would take her to the second floor while grabbing for her phone.

_We're headed to Judge Esteban's chambers for the restraining order. Meet me there. You'll have to ask for the room number._

Callie smiled as her feet rapidly flew up the steps, not wanting to give Arizona a chance to disappear out of sight before she could get to her. She was almost out of breath by the time she practically sprinted to the top of the steps and scurried down the hallway, her eyes constantly seeking out the blonde hair as it appeared and disappeared among the throngs of people in the hallway. "Arizona," she called out when she was close and she smiled broadly when the blonde turned around to her.

"Calliope," Arizona called back as she quickly moved through the people until she was falling into Callie's arms. "Thank you for coming," she said quietly as Callie pulled her in tightly and wrapped her hand into the soft hair so that she could hold her against her shoulder.

"I'll always come for you, okay?" She placed a kiss on her forehead and then released her grip so that Arizona could stand up straight. "You okay?"

"Now that you're here." Arizona smiled gently and Callie could practically see the tension dissolving off her face. "We were just headed to get the restraining order filed."

"Then I got here just in time." She reached down and took Arizona's hand, noticing the slightly raised eyebrow that got her. "What?"

Arizona's lips turned into a smile and there was a hint of color to her cheeks that wasn't there before. "First you call me baby on the phone and now you're holding my hand in public. I'm just feeling good right now is all. I needed that."

The world disappeared for Callie in that moment and she forgot they were standing in the hallway of the municipal building with strangers and Arizona's lawyer around them. Instead she just smiled at Arizona and enjoyed the fact that she could make Arizona feel good in the middle of all the shit in her life with just a simple word and touch. She couldn't help herself as she leaned down to place a quick kiss on her lips and then laugh lightly. "I didn't even realize I called you that."

Arizona's eyes were wide after the kiss. "And now a kiss in public."

Callie looked up at the lawyer quickly. "Do we have a minute?"

The woman nodded. "Sure, our appointment with the judge isn't for ten minutes and it's just down the hall."

"Then we'll be right back," Callie said as she took Arizona's hand and dragged her toward the nearest handicapped rest room. She opened the door and was relieved that it was a single bathroom and it was empty. "Come in here for a second."

"What if someone needs it?" Arizona's voice was ever so slightly amused.

"We need it. Come in here," she repeated as she tugged on Arizona's hand and pulled her into the bathroom, turning the light on with her other hand as she did. When the door shut, she locked it and then turned to look at Arizona. "Did you really think I wouldn't hold your hand or kiss you in public?"

"Well," Arizona began as she looked down at the floor. "I mean, this is all new to you." She looked up then, a hesitation playing in her blue eyes. "You don't have to do that to prove anything to me, you know."

"Prove anything to you? I'm not trying to prove anything to you." She let out an exasperated sigh. "That's just me, Arizona. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. Outside of work, I'm pretty naturally affectionate with the people I want to be affectionate with. Sure, at work, we all have to play Ellis' game and conform to the image she wants us all to portray. And when I'm unsure of things, I can be cautious and maybe seem reserved or cold. But once I'm sure, I'm sure. And, okay I'm still a little confused and scared, but I'm sure. I know that might not make total sense, but I am."

Arizona's lips turned up just a little in an amused smile. "Are you sure you're sure?"

"Yes," Callie answered with a melodramatic huff. "Let me prove it to you." She took Arizona's good hand and whirled her around so that her back was to the door. Without giving her a chance to move, Callie instantly pressed herself against her, pinning her to the door with her hips and placing both arms on either side of Arizona's head. "I'm sure," she whispered before smashing her lips against Arizona's.

This kiss reminded Callie of the one in Arizona's office, when Callie was trying desperately to convince the peds surgeon that they could work. Only this time, Arizona was instantly an active participant and there was no chance she was going to push Callie away and say no. Instead Arizona grabbed at Callie's waist, pulling their bodies tightly together, before her hand went up under the back of Callie's shirt and began lightly stroking the skin at the small of her back. The touch made Callie jump in a mixture of surprise and excitement as Arizona's hand traced a line of fire across her skin.

When she finally needed air, Callie pulled back just enough to gasp in pants for oxygen. "Believe me now?" she managed to get out through breaths.

Arizona's hand continued to run her fingers in light circles along Callie's spine. "I'm still not really sure," she said with a mischievous smile.

Callie's eyes went from Arizona's lips to her blue irises and back to her lips. She wanted nothing more than to continue this, but she knew they didn't have the time and this was definitely not the place, so she let her head fall to Arizona's shoulder and she swallowed. "We need to get this restraining order done, but I promise you after we do that and go get your shoulder checked on, we'll go home and continue this, okay?"

"And if I need a lot of reassurance?" Arizona whispered into Callie's ear.

"I'll make sure you're reassured." She tilted her head and kissed her lightly under the edge of her jaw. "Even if it takes all night."

She could hear Arizona swallow hard at that. "Oh, it'll take all night, I think."

Callie lifted her head and looked Arizona in the eyes. "You think?"

Arizona moved her hand from Callie's back up to the side of her face before sliding it around to pull her in for one final searing kiss. "I know," she said breathlessly when she let Callie go.

Callie backpedalled two steps to give them some space so she could catch her breath and hope that the pounding of her heart would slow. "Okay, so I guess we've got plans this evening then, huh?" She laughed as she pulled her shirt down and smoothed it over her skirt.

Arizona stood up from the wall and seemed just a little unsteady for a moment before she took a deep breath and ran her hand through her blonde locks. "I would say so," she said with a slightly nervous laugh.

"Well, then the faster we get this restraining order, the faster we can go see Chang and the faster we can get home."

Arizona went over and unlocked the bathroom door, her hand on the handle as she looked back over her shoulder. "Not fast enough," she said as she opened the door and went through.

Callie swallowed hard. "Definitely not fast enough," she said as she quickly followed Arizona.

TBC…


	26. Chapter 26

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Sorry this took a little longer than I wanted. Long story. But hope this chapter makes up for the delay. And definitely hope you guys enjoy the "reassurances" that Callie gives Arizona. I think I might win some sort of award for longest description of a make out session, because it kind of goes on and on, but I figure most of you won't mind, right?

Thanks for all your comments. They are the cherry on the top of my sundae, the whipped cream on my strawberry shake, and the butter on my bread. Or some other strange food metaphors! Basically I'm saying you guys are awesome.

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><p><strong>Chapter 26<strong>

Arizona put her cellphone down on the table and let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, so they'll be there later today." She rolled her shoulders, feeling the tension that had settled there release just a little. It certainly helped that she no longer had to wear the sling for her shoulder. "I need to go over to make sure they get it all installed properly and so they can show me how the alarm panel and the cameras work." Callie had suggested she put in a security system to help her feel safer at her apartment and she had luckily been able to get them to come out that day.

Callie bit at her lip as she looked up from her seat on the couch. "Really don't take this as me kicking you out, because I'm not, but when do you think you'll want to go back there?"

Arizona took a deep breath as she plopped down heavily next to Callie and leaned into her. She smiled as Callie wrapped her arm around her and pulled Arizona into her side, so they were both lying on the couch, arms wrapped around one another. It was the safest place Arizona could think of and she hated the idea of not having this all the time, but she needed to get back to having her own life. They would never know if this relationship would last if they stayed in this little pink bubble they'd enjoyed the last few days. _Besides, sleeping down the hall from her is kind of torturous since we've still got 82 days and 19 hours, give or take an hour, until the divorce is final. _"Going back scares e, even with the security system and my Glock."

"Your Glock?" Arizona could feel Callie tense against her.

"Um, yeah, didn't I mention I have a handgun? I use it mostly for target practice, but it's in my nightstand for defense, too." She turned her head up so she could look at Callie. "I used to shoot competitively in high school and college. In fact, I almost put off medical school to train for the Olympics. I was good enough that I would have had a shot at making the team." She chuckled quietly. "Sorry, bad shooting pun."

"You don't strike me as the NRA type," Callie said with just the slightest smile on her face.

"I'm not. My father taught Tim and I how to shoot as soon as we were old enough, but we never went hunting or lived at gun shows or anything like that. And I certainly don't think people should be able to have as many assault rifles as they want. I'm all for serious gun control laws and required training. I mean you have to prove you can drive before they let you alone behind the wheel of a car, they should do the same for guns." She shrugged. "I enjoy shooting and I do feel safer having it, but mostly because I know that I'm extremely well trained and comfortable with it."

Callie's eyes fell as her teeth worried at the corner of her mouth. "I guess I just hate guns. I've taken too many bullets out of people over the years."

"I know. The number of kids who've found a gun and gotten hurt or died just totally tears at me." Arizona took Callie's hand as she saw just a slight flash of recognition in Callie's eyes. "I want you to know, if we ever get to the point in our relationship where your kids would be in my apartment or anywhere near my gun, that I have the most childproof gun lock that exists on it at all times and I'd be sure to lock it in my safe. There would be no way they could get a hold of it and get hurt. I promise you, and you know I wouldn't lie about the safety of your children."

Callie nodded and then let out a long breath of relief. "Guns really terrify me. I won't even let the boys play with toy guns. When I was a second year, I had to tell a mother that her child was dead because her older son found his father's gun and shot his two year old brother. I seriously thought about quitting surgery that night and never looking back."

"What changed your mind?"

There were tears pooling in Callie's eyes. "I told my parents and I guess my mother told the chief what I was thinking, even though I told her not to. But Ellis sat me down in her office and talked me out of leaving. She knew all the right buttons to push, too. That was the day I decided on cardio as a specialty, because she spent about an hour telling me how brilliant I would be at it and how many lives I would save. She pointed out that there would be other kids and there would be some we could save and some we couldn't, but if we weren't there to save them, they'd all be lost."

Arizona closed her eyes and nodded as she remembered some of the faces of kids she'd lost along the way. Knowing that she could save some of them that would have died without her help was the only thing that kept the nightmares of the tiny coffins those losses ended up in bearable. "That's what keeps me going." She took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of vanilla and spice that she was quickly learning to associate with Callie, and snuggled tighter into Callie's embrace. "And to answer your original question, I was thinking there's no time like tonight."

"Tonight?" There was a little regret in her voice.

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you'd come and spend the night. Work is right across the street after all." Arizona made the suggestion before even thinking about it. She then smiled as she remembered their original plans. "We can still work on you reassuring me there. In fact, I might need even more reassurance, so I could understand if you don't want to work that hard." She smiled innocently up at Callie for effect.

Callie let out a loud belly laugh and then leaned down to kiss Arizona on the forehead. "I think that's a wonderful idea. I would love to spend the evening with you, reassuring you as much as you need." She shrugged and obviously was trying not to break out into a bright smile. "Or maybe as much as I need." She tipped Arizona's head up and captured her lips in a brief kiss that still made Arizona's stomach flip. "I didn't peek into the other room in your place. Do you at least have a futon or something in there?"

"Well," Arizona began as she dropped her eyes to where their hands had somehow found each other without any conscious thought on Arizona's part. She swallowed hard, wondering if maybe her suggestion was too much, too fast, especially considering they still had months to go before spending the night with one another would really mean spending the night together. "I do have a bed in there, but I was thinking maybe we could both spend the night in my bed. Purely platonic of course. Well, okay, maybe not platonic, but within the rules."

Arizona felt Callie's breathing hitch for a moment before beginning again, this time a little faster than before. There was a long pause before one simple word came out in barely a whisper. "Yes."

"That wouldn't make you uncomfortable?" Arizona was a little taken off guard by the delay in her answer.

"No," Callie answered quickly. "I took a few seconds to really make sure that I was okay with it, and I am. I wouldn't let you pressure me into doing something I wasn't comfortable with, I promise." She rolled over slightly so they were facing one another and then reached up and cupped Arizona's cheek. "I would love to spend the evening with you at your place, doing everything I can to reassure you." She gave her a quick kiss. "And then the perfect ending would be able to curl up next to you and drift off to sleep. And then getting to see you first thing when you wake up would be the cherry on top, because I've found that you have the most adorable wake up messy hair ever."

"My hair is adorable when I wake up? It looks like a bird's nest."

Callie's eyes darkened slightly as she looked down at Arizona's lips. "I kind of imagine it's what your after sex hair looks like. And since I won't get to test that theory for almost three months, I'm going to live with that little thought and hope that I'll get to see the wake up version a few times before then." She bit at her lip for a moment as she lowered her lips until she was maybe an inch from Arizona's. "It's incredibly sexy," she barely breathed out before closing the distance into a teasing kiss filled with stoked desire.

Arizona finally felt the need for air, as much as she enjoyed the nibbles and brushes of Callie's lips against her own. She pulled back and sighed quietly. "You're incredibly sexy."

There was a hint of a blush that came to Callie's cheeks. For a moment she looked like she was going to say something, but instead she just shook her head and let out a brief laugh. "Well, what do you say we get you packed up? And I guess I need an overnight bag and something to wear to work." She gave her a quick peck. "I haven't had to think about packing for a sleep over with a date in so many years."

"Yeah, you'll be making the walk of shame without the fun part that makes that walk worthwhile."

Callie shook her head with a smirk. "Like spending the night making out with you isn't fun? I'd make the walk of shame for less with you."

Arizona's heart soared at that. "I would too." She gave Callie a lingering kiss before rolling off the couch. "Let's go pack."

Callie sat up, a slightly mischievous grin on her face. "Yes, ma'am."

Arizona raised her eyebrow at the title, but smiled. "I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole." She then started to walk away, but turned her head to speak over her shoulder. "At least not yet."

She thought she heard Callie let out a loud sigh and Arizona smiled. _Oh yeah, we're going to have fun teasing each other. It might just make the next 82 days manageable. Well, okay, probably not, but it will sure be fun._

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><p>The evening had been truly amazing. After they had met with the security company and Arizona had inspected their work and learned how to activate the alarm and view the taped security footage from the camera that recorded her front door and the windows in the living room, they had cooked dinner together. Well, really, Callie had cooked and Arizona had munched on the ingredients as she sat at the breakfast bar keeping Callie company. But Callie hadn't minded one bit, especially after hearing some of Arizona's stories of disastrous attempts at cooking. After hearing about the fire Arizona had made in her dorm just by trying to make boxed macaroni and cheese, she was sure that she would never allow Arizona near the stove or oven if she could keep her from them. After all, Callie was really hoping that this relationship would last, maybe even be <em>the<em> relationship for the rest of her life, and she would really prefer not to have a kitchen fire in her house every few years.

The dinner of steaks, baked potatoes, and green beans with shallots, along with a wonderful bottle of Syrah had led to a wonderful meal full of even more stories and laughter. And after dinner, they had settled on the couch to finish the wine, this time falling into an easy silence as they snuggled with one another and sipped the rich wine. Callie had never dated anyone who made silence so easy and comfortable. Normally she felt the need to fill the silence with something, and so she would begin to ramble, but with Arizona, she found that it was comfortable to just be in her presence, to spend time just holding one another or playing with her hand and smiling every time Arizona's thumb traced ovals on her wrist.

They had laid there for probably an hour, just enjoying one another's presence, until the wine finally ran out. Callie had considered going to get another bottle, but she didn't want them to get drunk. Intoxication would not only dull her memories—and she was sure she would want to look back on this evening for the rest of her life—but there was also the fear that the alcohol would lower their inhibitions. She didn't want the first time they had sex, or even got close, to be because of being drunk. They had made a decision to wait and Callie was committed to that and she was reasonably sure Arizona was too. Besides, the last time she had gotten drunk, she had slept with that guy at the hotel, and she would never want to cheapen what she was building with Arizona by doing that. But having just the amount of wine they had already consumed seemed perfect, because it made Callie relaxed just enough to feel completely comfortable with Arizona.

As Callie placed her wine glass on the table and then took Arizona's empty glass and did the same, she turned to the blonde and smiled. "I think I owe you some reassurance," she said, her voice dropping naturally to a lower register as she climbed up over where Arizona was lying on the couch. She felt a little like a predator as she crawled over Arizona's amazing body. She really wanted nothing more than to touch her everywhere, to run her hands over her breasts and around to cup her perfect ass, but she resisted, at least for the moment. Those were the grey areas in their agreement, and she wondered if as long as there was clothing between her hands and what she imagined was the most amazing flesh she'd ever get to feel, that it would be okay. Maybe she'd find out a little later, but first she was going to kiss Arizona for all she was worth.

There was no warm up this time, no gentle nips to get them started. This was Callie letting herself really go for the first time and wanting to show Arizona how much pure desire she felt for the other woman. Even her hands could not take their time, as they started on either side of Arizona's face but quickly worked their way down her neck before lightly grazing the sides of her breasts until they were working their way under the hem of her shirt. She needed to feel what Arizona's skin felt like, how soft the skin of her torso was, how the muscles of her abdomen jumped whenever Callie's tongue ran along the roof of Arizona's mouth. It was intoxicating to realize she could have this much power over Arizona's reactions.

Arizona's hands were far from idle as well. They had returned to the small of Callie's back, just as she had done that morning in the court house bathroom, but this time she alternated using the pads of her fingers to trace circles and then lightly raking her fingernails up and down Callie's spine. At every trail along her back, Callie would moan as she deepened her kiss or bit lightly on Arizona's lip, causing a moan from the blonde in reply.

As Callie moved her lips down to the edge of Arizona's jaw, she heard Arizona practically breathe out her name, "Calliope." It made Callie smile and then she let out the lightest of laughs.

Arizona was breathing hard and Callie could hear her swallow hard before she finally gasped out, "What's funny?"

Callie took a moment to nip at the skin just below Arizona's ear before she pulled back to look into Arizona's eyes. They took Callie's breath away for a moment as she realized she had never seen them so dark blue before from the obvious desire she was feeling. Finally, Callie closed her own eyes for a moment and took in a breath to calm herself down before she opened her eyes and smiled. "I was just thinking how I normally hate it when people use my full first name. It reminds me too much of my parents scolding me. But when you say it, it's so beautiful. I think one of the first things that made me truly see I was attracted to you was when I realized that I not only loved it when you called me Calliope, but that I craved it."

Arizona smiled and she drew one hand from Callie's back to reach up and tuck a lock of black hair behind Callie's ear. "It's such a beautiful name, Calliope. Calliope was the muse of poetry, and what's more romantic than poetry, right?" She leaned up and planted a soft kiss on the full lips. "Calliope," she whispered.

Callie's toes actually curled as the butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She somehow doubted Arizona just knew that about her name, and it made her feel really cared for that she had taken the time to look it up. She could bet that Owen still didn't know that and he certainly had never even asked her about it. "My mother majored in English in college and was a huge fan of Homer. Calliope was supposed to be his muse." She let out a deep breath and leaned down to return the soft kiss.

"Okay, this is going to sound like a bad pickup line, but the first thought that came to my head was that if she was half as beautiful as you, Homer wouldn't have been able to resist."

Callie laughed again. "Yeah that was corny, but lucky for you, I like corny once in a while." She let her eyes fall to Arizona's lips again and she just needed to be kissing them again. "And I'll fall for every pickup line you can give me," she said on her way to doing just that.

Callie had read a long time ago in Cosmo or one of those annoying magazines that a great kisser took hints from oral sex, and so she put that suggestion into practice by not just kissing, but also licking and sucking on Arizona's lower lip before moving up to the Cupid's bow of her upper lip and drawing it into her mouth to suck on it, at first gently, but then as Arizona moaned and thrust into Callie with her hips, she drew on the delicate flesh that much harder.

The kissing continued for who knew how long. At times Arizona would take control, but then Callie would reassert herself, often moving down to her neck or up to nibble on one of her ears. Finally Callie started sucking gently on Arizona's neck just where it joined her shoulder.

"You're going to give me a hickey," Arizona said with a mixture of laughter and the husk of desire.

"Yup," Callie said before returning to where she was enjoying sucking and licking at the flesh in that one spot.

"I'll have to wear a turtleneck to work," Arizona said with an obviously playful whine.

It made Callie smile for a moment that Arizona had forgotten all the other bruising on her neck, which had certainly faded somewhat but still stood out starkly against her pale skin. The hickey would never be noticed by anyone, at least not as anything other than part of her injuries, and it was one of the reasons why she was willing to leave this mark on Arizona. Normally, she would never do that, because it seemed so high school and even mean to make the person wear that mark the following day for all the world to see, but since it would go largely unnoticed because of the other bruises, she wanted to take this opportunity to leave her mark on Arizona so that every time she saw her in the next day or so, she'd have that visual reminder of this evening. "No one will notice," she whispered before blowing gently on the reddened flesh and then placing a gentle kiss there. Arizona didn't say anything else about it, so Callie figured she was off the hook.

The kissing started to calm down and become more tender and even lazy after that. After all, there was only so much either of them could handle before getting to that moment of critical mass where they wouldn't be able to keep control of their libidos and hold themselves to their agreement. But that was all for the best because Callie knew neither of them was ready even if they hadn't decided to wait. And, besides, she had to admit that while she loved the heated making out, the sweet kisses were just as nice.

Finally, Callie just laid her head down on Arizona's shoulder and sighed contentedly. "So, are you reassured now?"

Arizona hummed thoughtfully and then shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm going to need to be reassured on a regular basis, okay? At least a few times a week."

Callie bit at her lip as she thought about all those future possibilities for feeling Arizona's lips on her own and her body and hands against her. "That can easily be arranged."

Arizona yawned then and Callie was reminded that while she was quickly healing, Arizona still needed her sleep to allow her body to get better, especially now that she was returning to work in the morning and would be expected to work a full day with potentially no time for a quick nap. "What do you say we get some sleep?"

"Sounds like a good idea."

Callie went into the bathroom in the spare room to get ready for bed. When she had finished her evening ritual and put on the shorts and t-shirt she had brought to sleep in, she walked toward Arizona's bedroom, feeling the butterflies dancing in her stomach again. She was going to get to snuggle with this incredible woman, get to have her be the last thing she saw before falling asleep and the first thing she'd see in the morning. It was what she wanted down the road for their relationship more and more every day.

As she walked into the bedroom she stopped and leaned up against the doorframe to watch Arizona fiddle around with the items on her dresser. She was quite adorable when she was nervous, and with the way she kept moving the knickknacks and picture frames around, it was obvious she was quite nervous. But more than the adorableness, Callie enjoyed just looking at this amazingly gorgeous woman who was wearing a tight pink tank top and matching pink and light blue checkered pajama bottoms. _God she really is just beautiful. How did I never figure this out before? _It had been almost three full years since Arizona had come to work at Seattle Grace and it felt like such a shame to Callie that they had wasted those years. _But then again neither of us was ready. We needed that time to get to exactly the right point where we could be ready to see that we need one another. And God do I need her._ Callie cleared her throat then and smiled when Arizona jumped before turning around. "You ready for bed?"

"Yeah, sure," Arizona said as her eyes clearly swept up Callie's body. "You really do make a simple t-shirt and shorts look damned sexy."

Callie smiled as she pushed off the wall and moved over toward her. "And boy are those pajamas just you in fabric—sexy and adorable all at the same time."

Arizona smiled before she took a shaking breath and looked over toward the bed. Her words then spilled out in a jumble. "So, since this is more than just napping and I really don't care, I figured you should pick a side, you know since I'm sure you're used to one side after all the years with Owen and all. It's not a big thing or anything, of course, but I want you to be as comfortable as possible."

Callie moved closer and wrapped her hands around Arizona's waist. She placed her head on Arizona's shoulder and took a breath. "Yeah, this is always a big step, huh? Choosing sides."

"It doesn't have to really mean anything."

"I want it to," Callie said quickly before Arizona could continue.

"You do?" There was a hesitation and a hint of anxiety in her words.

"Arizona, I told you, I want this to work with you and the more time I spend with you, the more I feel like it just might. I want us to work and I want us to eventually be able to think about really sharing our lives, and that would include sharing a bed. So, yes, this means something to me and it's a good thing, a very good thing."

Arizona's arms tightened around Callie and let out a contented sigh. "I want that, too, and you're right, every day I'm feeling more and more confident that it just might happen. So, then, do you have a preference?"

Callie looked at the bed and thought about it. She wanted a clean break from her marriage and wanted to start everything new with Arizona. "With Owen, I've always slept on the left, so I think it might be good to swap. You know, start fresh and all that. Is the left okay for you?"

"It's perfect," she said as she turned and placed a gentle kiss on Callie's cheek. Arizona then extracted herself from Callie's arms and moved around to what was now going to be her side of the bed.

Callie watched her go, enjoying how her hips swayed under the checkered pajama bottoms, before turning and sliding into the right side of the bed. It was a little strange, after five years of sleeping on the other side of the bed, but it felt good to make this change with Arizona. She reached up and turned the lamp on the nightstand off before rolling onto her side to face Arizona. "Are you feeling safe enough to sleep?"

Arizona turned off her lamp and took Callie's hand before rolling over and pulling on it so that Callie would slide up to her back. She then tucked both their hands around her waist. She snuggled down into her pillow and let out a quiet sigh. "I definitely feel safe enough to sleep. You're here and that's all I need."

"I'm glad. Good night, Arizona. Sleep well," Callie whispered into Arizona's ear before kissing her on the shoulder and snuggling down on the pillow right behind Arizona.

"Good night, Calliope," Arizona said and it was clear from her voice that she was incredibly tired. In fact, it only took a few moments before her breathing settled into the steady rhythm of sleep.

Callie stayed awake and listed to Arizona breathe, and just enjoyed the feeling of Arizona in her arms. As she started to drift off herself, she couldn't help but think how perfect things were with Arizona. _I wish I could tell you how I truly feel, Arizona, but it's too soon. I'm still not ready to say it and I really don't think you're ready to hear it. But one day, hopefully pretty soon, I'll tell you exactly what I'm feeling. How I was lost until I found you. How I didn't know myself at all until I saw me through your eyes. And how incredibly in love with you I am. I do. I really love you, Arizona._

TBC…


	27. Chapter 27

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** So glad you all seemed to love the make out session. Thanks for the wonderful comments. They really made my day (said in a totally NOT crazy Clint Eastwood voice!).

Well I obviously can't keep them in a happy making out pink bubble for the next 2+ months, so we're going to get them back into their lives and deal with a few angsty serious topics. But I'll try to make sure they have a little alone time whenever I can swing it. I'm all for a little sweet time and a little sexy time as they move along.

So, on to their lives outside their pink bubble…

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><p><strong>Chapter 27<strong>

The senior staff meeting seemed to be dragging on and on. Arizona tapped her pen on her hand absently as she forced her attention to stay on Ellis. _How can she possibly expect us to sit here this long? Doesn't she know pretty much everyone in this room is embarking on a new relationship? And that they're breaking up relationships with other people in this room? Does she even remember what that's like? Probably not. She and Richard have been together forever._

Arizona then felt a light touch to her knee from Callie, who sat to her left. It wasn't a touch meant to arouse, although it certainly did that to some extent. It was clearly more meant to calm her and Arizona realized that she must have seemed aggravated. While Arizona could probably get away with seeming off for a few days to everyone who knew about the assault—and she figured that by now even the dishwasher in the cafeteria probably knew—she would rather get her equilibrium back and act like normal. The light touch from Callie did more than alert her to how she was coming off, it helped send a wave of calm through her. Having Callie there for her the last few days had really helped keep her together, and she would forever be grateful for that.

"Okay folks, let's get out there and do what makes this place great," the chief said as she collected her pile of papers and rose from her chair. The other doctors quickly followed suit, leaving only Callie and Mark in the room along with Arizona.

Mark looked at Callie and then over to Arizona. "Can I talk to you, Dr. Robbins?" he asked her.

"Um, sure," she said cautiously. It wasn't like she had any surgeries to go run off for, because it would still be days before she was cleared for full work. She sighed at the thought of potentially getting the third degree from her friend, when all she wanted was to somehow sneak off to her office and hope that Callie could join her before long. She turned to her left and frowned at the fact Callie was being ushered out. "Can you meet for lunch?"

"Probably," Callie answered as her hand grabbed Arizona's under the table and squeezed it. "I'll let you know later what my schedule is like."

"Thanks," Arizona said with a return of the squeeze to Callie's hand and a bright smile. She so wanted to give her a quick kiss, and it wasn't like Mark would care, but this was work, and they needed to keep their relationship behind closed doors, and unfortunately the chief's conference room was somewhere that a closed door could quickly open at any time.

She watched as Callie got up from the table, grabbing her portfolio and a few files, before walking over to Mark and whispering something in his ear and then heading to the door. Before she passed through it, she turned back toward Arizona and gave her that amazing smile that seemed to light up the world. Then she disappeared through the door leaving just Mark standing there with a slight smirk on his lips.

Arizona turned to Mark, "Okay, what did she just say to you?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back to sit on the conference table. "She thanked me for saving your life. I'm imagining because you've managed to turn her into a lesbian in a few days, and her mind is just blown by this new revelation, huh Robbins?" His eyebrow arched and his eyes twinkled with amusement.

Arizona rolled her eyes and went over to lean against the table next to him. "She came to the decision that she was attracted to me all herself. I'd like to remind you I was trying my best to discourage her."

"But since then? I mean word is already flying around the hospital that she did the walk of shame from your apartment this morning. Did I sleep soundly last night or were you all gentle with her for her first time with a woman?"

Arizona pinched at the bridge of her nose as she felt a rock form in the pit of her stomach. This was exactly what she was afraid of. If the rumors were already circling only an hour after they left her apartment, then it wouldn't be long before they got back to the chief, or a parent of one of her patients heard and made a stink. She had no idea how to deal with this, because all she could do was think about how things had come crashing down so fast at Hopkins when word about her relationship with Sandy became public. And what would she do if something like that happened again? She swallowed hard against the bile in her throat and closed her eyes. "We didn't sleep together, Mark, at least not like that. She spent the night so I wouldn't be afraid to be in my apartment again. It was something any friend would do."

"Any friend that you are romantically involved with. Robbins, just give up the ghost and go public. Well, after Dr. PTSD finds out that his soon-to-be ex-wife is into chicks that is. For your own safety I would recommend he doesn't find out along with the janitorial staff."

"He knows. She told him." She scratched absently at her neck and then looked up into his pale eyes. "What the hell am I going to do? I'm already so head over heels for her, but the chief doesn't want a lesbian head of peds, at least not an out one. We haven't even been together more than a few days and I already know that I'm in love with her. I don't think I can walk away. Shit, I don't want to. But if the chief finds out she could fire me. And then what? I wouldn't be able to stay in Seattle. Ellis will be running every hospital with a peds program within 100 miles of the city by the end of the year. And Callie can't leave. Owen's here and she would never take her kids away from their father. I wouldn't want her to. What am I going to do?" Tears suddenly began trickling down her cheeks.

Mark moved over and enveloped her in his arms. "Arizona, she's not going to fire you. You're an amazing surgeon. She'd be an idiot to let you go, besides you could sue the shit out of her if you wanted to. We live in Washington, not in Mississippi. It's illegal to fire you purely because you're gay and she'd have no other reason. Did it say in your contract that you wouldn't date someone who worked here? It's not like you're dressed head to toe in a rainbow flag singing the Indigo Girls at the top of your lungs as you walk the corridors of this hospital. If you don't do anything in the hospital, is it your fault if rumors get passed around?"

Arizona sniffed as she hugged Mark tightly. "You're right. I promised her I'd keep it out of the hospital and I will. If someone sees us around town and talks about it, then there's nothing I can do about that."

Mark stepped back and patted her shoulders, "Good girl. Just hold your head high out there and don't stoke the rumor fires. That's all you can do."

Arizona wiped at her eyes and then pulled herself up to her full 5 foot 5 inch height. _I can do this. We can do this. But I do need to warn her that those rumors are out there today. She says she's ready for all this, but this could be the first real taste of it. Please let her be strong enough._ "Thanks, Mark. You're not only my lifesaver, you're an amazing friend."

He shrugged, trying to seem self-effacing, but it was obviously a bit of an act. "Well, in that case, why don't you and your new girlfriend come out to dinner with me and my baby mama. Maybe tomorrow? Addison suggested it this morning, actually. She wants a chance to get to know you and I want to get to know Torres."

"I'll ask her, but that sounds like a great idea. It would be nice to go out like a normal couple. And I think I can use enough cover up to make myself presentable for the public."

Mark waved off her concern. "Who cares? You look great."

"Yeah, whatever." She rose up on her tip toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks, Mark. Really. I'll get back with you later today about dinner."

He just nodded to her before walking over and holding the door open for her. She walked by him with one final smile and then took off toward her office. When she was in the elevator, she whipped out her phone and sent off a quick text message to Callie that she needed to see her as soon as possible in her office. Arizona looked at her watch and frowned, knowing that it would likely be a few hours before Callie was out of the surgery she had first thing this morning. As much as she wanted to see her to warn her about the rumors, she realized that she really wanted to just see Callie, to just be in the same room with her more than anything. _God, how did you ever think you could resist her, Arizona? What an idiot._ She smiled as the door to the elevator opened. _An incredibly happy idiot._

* * *

><p>Callie stormed through the halls of the hospital toward Arizona's office. When the nurse had told her that she had a text message while she was elbow deep in the chest of a young mother of two who desperately needed the surgery, she'd tried to ignore it until the nurse mention it was from Arizona. She hadn't wanted to have the text message read aloud in the OR, but still she couldn't help but worry about it the entire time, so much so that it had caused her to miss a cut and the woman had begun bleeding out and coding. They got her back but there was no way of knowing if there would be any long lasting effects from being down for so long. It wasn't Arizona's fault, and Callie knew it, and yet she was angry, more at herself for losing control over her own thoughts and reactions.<p>

When she got to the office door, she knocked loudly and almost went in without being asked. But instead she took a moment to take a deep breath in the hopes of quelling her irritation. When she heard Arizona's voice telling her to come in, it was like an instant balm to her mood and she smiled just a little before walking through. "Hey," she said to her when she was greeted by shining blue eyes and a dimpled smile.

"Calliope," Arizona said in that lilting tone she seemed to reserve purely for when she called Callie by her full name. She got up and quickly strode around the desk to pull Callie into a tight hug. "I missed you," she whispered into Callie's shoulder.

Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona and dropped her face into the soft blonde hair that smelled of vanilla and coconut. "I missed you, too. I just had a bad surgery," she admitted in barely a whisper, but even so she could hear the emotion in her own voice.

Arizona pulled back and placed a gentle kiss on Callie's cheek before locking the office door and taking her by the arm to lead her toward the couch. "What happened?"

Callie wanted to just say 'you' but she knew that sounded far too accusatory, when really it was all Callie's fault. "I wasn't very professional," she said instead with a sigh as they both fell down onto the couch and Callie instantly curled into Arizona's shoulder. "The nurse told me you had texted me and all I could do was think about you and what you wanted and how much I wanted to be right here with you."

"Shit, I should have thought before I sent that message," Arizona said as she tightened her grip on Callie. "I should have known it would be a distraction. I'm sorry."

"No, it was my fault," Callie said before taking a deep breath and sitting up. "I need to be more professional is all. But instead I was distracted and she coded on the table. I had a mother of two little kids on my table who had dilated cardiomyopathy that was so bad I needed to do a bypass. Thirty years old and she needed a bypass because she got the bad luck of an infection on top of HCM and she came to me to make sure she would live to see her kids grow up." Callie wiped angrily at her eyes to keep the tears from falling.

Arizona seemed hesitant when she asked, "Did you get her back?"

Callie nodded. "But she was down for almost six minutes and her vitals are real touch and go right now. I've got Yang and Webber practically living in her room for the next few hours to make sure she makes it through the day." She swallowed hard. "I got distracted and I misplaced a cut and she almost died. She still might."

"I'm sorry. I promise I won't ever text you when you are in surgery again."

Callie shook her head and took a soothing breath. "No, I just need to work harder at separating my private life from work. I guess that's another reason that it's good we have to keep things quiet at work, huh? It'll help me do that."

"Well, that's actually kind of what I paged you about."

Callie squinted at Arizona, trying to figure out what she meant. "You paged me about how I need to keep work and private life separate?"

"Um, no," she said as she looked off over Callie's shoulder for a moment before having those impossibly blue eyes come back to focus on her. "Rumors are already going around about us."

"Rumors? What could there be rumors about? We haven't really done anything." Callie felt like she was about one step behind what Arizona was trying to say.

"That's what Mark wanted to talk to me about this morning. Seems word is already going around that you stayed at my apartment last night and I guess people are putting two and two together. In fact, Mark assumed you and I had slept together, although he said if we did we were being incredibly quiet because he didn't hear a thing."

"Are the walls of your apartment really that thin?" When a flash of pink came to Arizona's cheeks, Callie's eyebrow rose inquisitively. "Or are you really just that loud?"

The flush became brighter. "I might be just a little vocal and Mark might have heard me the last time. Well, yeah, that's not something I want to talk about with the woman I'm now dating but won't be sleeping with for a while."

Callie was overcome by a quick flash of heat and emotion. First, the thought of Arizona being vocal during sex got her incredibly hot and bothered, but then the thought of her with another woman made her intensely jealous. She had to take a few deep breaths to push that all down and regain her composure. "Okay, so back to what's important. There's a rumor going around that I spent the night at your place and people are assuming we slept together? Or at least that's what Sloan assumed. It's still no one's business. I'll make sure Owen knows that it's not true. But otherwise, I couldn't give two shits."

Arizona's brow furrowed. "Really? You just said you want to keep work and private life separate."

"Yes, in my own head. I can't be worried about what other people think." Callie sighed when Arizona still looked concerned. "I've had people talking about me since my intern year. First it was all about how I got into the program and then how I became the chief's favorite. Then when I got pregnant without being married, it was about which of the other doctors was the father until Owen and I got married. Finally, there were even rumors when Owen was deployed that I was having an affair with someone on staff. Some rumors are correct, but most are just that—rumors. I can't worry about it and neither should you."

There were shadows in Arizona's blue eyes. "I told Mark I wasn't going to, but it's hard, really hard. I mean if Ellis hears and she comes down on me, what will I do? Mark said she can't fire me, which I guess is true, but she can also decide not to renew my contract. I've only got 14 months left and I don't want to have to leave Seattle." Her voice was barely a whisper as she took Callie's hand. "I don't want to have to leave you."

"You won't. You promised her you'd keep your love life out of the hospital and we will." She bit her lip when she realized she used the word love. It was still too early for that, for those declarations, but it had slipped out and she wondered how Arizona would react.

Either Arizona didn't register that or she was ignoring it, because she just nodded. "I know. Mark said the same thing. We'll just be extra careful at work, right? Nothing out in the open other than friendship."

"Right. We keep it all behind closed doors." Callie's lips turned up in a mischievous smile. "I'd like to point out that your office door is both closed and locked right now."

"Oh?" Arizona said as she slid a little closer to Callie. "Why, Dr. Torres, are you propositioning me?"

Callie shrugged and tried to look innocent. "Maybe."

Arizona closed the distance between them and smiled when she was only a few inches away. "Well, if you are, then I'm willing, but if not…"

Callie rolled her eyes and then quickly brought her lips to Arizona's. She knew they couldn't get too heated, not at the hospital, but it was amazing to reconnect with Arizona after only the few hours they had been apart. Kissing Arizona was her new drug and the more she did it, the more she needed it. And damn it, she didn't care what anyone thought or said, because this was where she belonged, this was who she needed in her life. There was no doubt in her mind now that she was in love with Arizona and she'd do anything to keep them together. Anything.

TBC…


	28. Chapter 28

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thanks for the comments folks. They are good encouragement, but I can always use more (hint, hint).

I think I've always said Addie/Mark's kid is a boy, but I was too lazy to look through 27 chapters to make sure, so here's hoping I'm right and I'm not just confusing that with the sequel to Thin Line I'm working on behind the scenes. I got baby boys on the brain!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 28<strong>

Callie looked from Mark to Arizona and just couldn't get it. _They don't seem like they'd even like each other, and yet they've become such good friends. It's really strange._ Still, the more she felt herself falling in love with the blonde, the more she found herself having to like Mark. After all, he not only saved Arizona's life, but he was there for her when she needed someone to talk to about her feelings for Callie. And deep down she had to admit she kind of liked him, especially once she realized his occasional kidding and flirtatious demeanor really was just for shits and giggles. She looked over at Addison and noticed the bright smile on the redhead's face. _And I've never seen her happier. Seems like we've all gotten out of bad relationships and hopefully we've found who we're meant to be with. God I hope so._

Callie's attention returned to Arizona then and she smiled. Her blue eyes were sparkling in the candlelight of their table as she laughed at a joke that Mark had told but Callie had missed. Callie laughed, too, just to make sure she wasn't too obviously not paying attention, but by the slight raise of a blonde eyebrow, it was obvious that she had been caught by Arizona. "I think I need to use the restroom," Arizona said then as her eyebrow rose further in Callie's direction.

"Oh, me too," Callie answered quickly as she gathered her purse from the table and stood to follow Arizona through the restaurant. Callie enjoyed the view from where she walked behind Arizona. This was the first time she really got the chance to really look at her backside, to take in the way her waist flared out to hips that were just full enough without being too wide, to her perfectly rounded ass and down to the slender shapely legs below the hem of her little black dress. Arizona really was beautiful and perfect in Callie's eyes and she was even getting used to the idea that she was hopelessly attracted to a woman. With Arizona it no longer seemed strange that she found all the curves of her body downright hot. In fact, it seemed to be the most natural thing in the world.

When they made it into the bathroom, Callie was relieved to see that it was empty. She leaned back on the door and let out a deep breath. "Not that I'm not having a great time, but I did need a bit of a break from being on display."

"You felt that too?" Arizona asked as she came up and wrapped her arms around Callie and pulled her away from the door. "I do feel like they're walking on egg shells around us."

Callie shrugged as she took a moment to breathe in the relaxing scent of Arizona's shampoo mixed with her perfume. "I think they're just concerned about us. They don't want us to get hurt and let's face it, I think most people might see us as a long shot."

"Probably. But then again they don't see what I see."

"And what's that?" Callie couldn't help but let a hint of a smirk onto her lips.

Arizona laughed a little and pulled out of Callie's arms so that she was looking up into her eyes. "That you are amazing and that when I look at you, I have more hope that things will work out with you than I've ever had with anyone, including she who will not be named while we're having such a wonderful evening out." She gave Callie a soft kiss on her lips. "I think we've got this."

Callie relaxed at Arizona's words and let her forehead fall into the crook of Arizona's neck. "I think so, too," she whispered before placing a gentle kiss on the exposed skin there. It felt so good that Arizona believed they were going somewhere, that she wasn't alone in the hope that this relationship would work out for the long term. The more time she spent with Arizona, the more she hoped that she was the one that she was meant to be with. For the first time in her life, she could even see herself growing old with someone. _And damn, she'll be such an adorable old lady. And I just have to be there to see that._

"So, after dinner, do you want to do something?" Arizona took a step back and reached up to adjust Callie's hair over her left shoulder. It was a familiar yet absent touch that warmed Callie's heart.

"You mean you don't want to hang out with Mark and Addie all night long?" Callie certainly didn't. In fact, the sooner they could get away and have some alone time, the better.

"I'd rather spend part of the evening just with you," Arizona answered, her voice dropping flirtatiously.

"Oh?" Callie's stomach flipped at the thoughts of what they could do alone.

Arizona nodded, her blue eyes twinkling with mischief as she ran one finger down Callie's cheek then along her collarbone. She hesitated for a moment and licked her lips before moving the same finger down to run along the edge of Callie's plunging neckline. "You know, this dress is just incredibly mean."

Callie's breath caught as Arizona's finger ran along the material and down her breast. "No, that's mean." It was like her entire body was on fire just from that one finger getting dangerously close to breaking all kinds of rules, and in a public bathroom no less.

"Oh, is it?" Arizona placed a gentle kiss on Callie's collarbone and then another one just an inch lower.

"Arizona," Callie barely breathed out as her pulse began to race, "we're in a bathroom and this is…" She had to swallow hard and lick her lips to think at all before continuing to speak. "This is getting dangerous. Not that I'm not loving it, mind you."

Arizona looked up at Callie, that playful twinkle still in her eyes, and she bit at the corner of her mouth. "Well, then maybe we can continue this after dinner. I promise not to break any rules." She moved her mouth up to suck gently on Callie's earlobe before whispering, "Unless you want me to."

Callie lost her balance and fell back a step before Arizona caught her, keeping her upright. "Um, yeah," Callie said, her mouth not really working in time with her brain. "Sounds like a plan."

Just then a woman pushed the door open and came to a sudden halt to keep from running into the two of them. "Are you two the surgeons?"

"Yeah," Arizona quickly answered as she extricated herself from Callie.

"Well, your friend out there is in labor," the woman said with a thumb pointing over her shoulder. "Her water just broke."

"Oh crap," Callie said as she shot a look to Arizona. "Well, guess those plans might have to wait."

Arizona frowned before looking at the woman. "Thanks for letting us know." She then pushed past her and held the door open for Callie.

The two of them quickly made their way back to their table, where Addison was sitting in her chair shooting dirty looks at Mark as he stood over her with his hand on her hips. She rolled her eyes at him. "We don't need an ambulance."

Mark let out a bark of laughter. "You might not need an ambulance but the leather in my car needs you to have an ambulance. I'm not having you give birth in the backseat of my Mercedes, Addison. I'm kind of thinking amniotic fluid is tough to get out of leather."

The redhead looked over as Callie and Arizona approached. "He cares more for his car than his kid."

Callie shook her head and shot a look at Mark. "Great one there, Sloan. You can come in my car. My kids have long since destroyed the interior and besides, I doubt you'll have the baby before we can get you to the hospital."

"That's what I tried to tell him," Addison continued as she rose to her feet and gathered her purse. "The contractions aren't too strong and they're not even—" She bent over in pain and started to pant as another contraction overtook her.

Arizona walked over to her and held her hand while rubbing the small of her back. "We'll get you there in no time," she said as Addison took a final deep breath and stood up straighter.

"Thanks you two," she said with a smile at Arizona and Callie. She then turned to Mark. "And you can follow in your precious car." She then looked over at Callie. "Let's get going before the next contraction hits."

Callie nodded and then walked over to Mark. "You can pay the check," she added before brushing by him to take Addison's other arm and help lead her out of the restaurant.

As she led Addison through the restaurant she looked over at Arizona, who sent her a slight frown and a shrug. Callie nodded back with a sigh.

_Guess there won't be any private time tonight._

* * *

><p>Arizona looked down at the small baby and frowned at him as she looped her stethoscope over her neck. She looked over at Callie and sighed heavily. "I don't know how no one saw this."<p>

Callie pinched at the bridge of her nose. "Well, her obstetrician really needs to learn to check heart function more carefully. Poor Addison," Callie said with a shake of her head.

Arizona nodded as she started to walk out of the NICU. "I'll go talk to her and Mark and let them know what is going on."

"I'll stay with him," Callie said without looking up.

Arizona looked at her for a moment and felt her heart swell with the care that Callie showed this tiny human. Sure, he was Addison and Mark's son, and his heart condition meant he was in definite danger, but there was just something about Callie's expression that showed more care than even that demanded. Callie was a special person and Arizona felt truly blessed that she was in her life, hopefully for a very long time.

Arizona finally turned and walked out of the NICU only to run straight into Mark, who was pacing outside the door.

The plastic surgeon looked at her frantically and asked, "How is he?"

Arizona wasn't expecting him to be right there so she hadn't prepared herself to deal with him. But she was used to handling parents who were terrified about their children. "So far he's stable. Either Callie or I will be with him for these first few hours. We'll need to go in and fix the ventricle soon, but I'd like to wait until tomorrow so he's a little stronger. Surgery so soon after the stress of being born can make things more dangerous."

"Will he make it that long?"

Arizona closed her eyes for a second and drew in a slow breath. "You know I can't guarantee that, Mark. We'll do everything we can to make sure he makes it and that he's as strong as he needs to be to survive the surgery."

Mark looked like he was going to argue with her or shake her out of fear but then he finally just deflated with a slight nod of his head. "Can I go see him?"

Arizona nodded. "I'll go talk with Addison and let her know what's going on." Just then her pager went off and she frowned at it. "Crap a 911 page from the chief. I'm not sure how long this will take. Can you go tell Addison once you're done your visit?"

Mark seemed torn again, but then he nodded. "I'll go see him for a few minutes and then go back to her room. Thanks Robbins for everything."

She reached up and placed a quick kiss on this cheek. "We'll get him through this," she said, knowing it was never a good idea to make promises, but wanting to reassure him as much as possible.

She waited until he finally nodded at her and then disappeared into the NICU before turning to leave the peds floor.

Arizona quickly made her way to the chief's office. She listened for a moment at the door and heard two decidedly female but indistinguishable voices through the thick wooden door. She knocked when there seemed to be a lull in the conversation and then opened the door when Chief Grey's voice called for her to. She walked in and came to a sudden stop. Sitting across from the chief was Erica Hahn, her blue eyes regarding Arizona with just a hint of smugness. "Hello, Chief. Doctor Hahn. Am I intruding?"

"No, you're not," the chief responded as she motioned toward the other guest chair. "I called in Dr. Hahn to consult on Dr. Montgomery's baby."

Arizona frowned slightly as she sat, her eyes tracking back and forth between the two women. "I thought Dr. Torres would be helping me with the surgery."

There was something a little unreadable on the chief's face and Erica still had that smug look that Arizona really hated to see on her friend's face. "No," Ellis said as she flipped open a file on her desk. "I want to see what Dr. Hahn can do. Once we merge with Seattle Presbyterian, I'm going to have two cardio heads fighting for one position and I want to go into that situation with as much information as possible."

_Oh shit, she's giving her a try out. Callie is not going to be happy. In fact, I bet she'll be downright furious._ Arizona took a deep breath and considered how to proceed. She wanted to stand up for Callie, but really there was little she could say that would make sense. After all, no one went against the chief if they wanted to keep their job, and Arizona desperately needed to keep her job. _Besides, maybe she'll see that Erica is not the kind of person who should be running a department. She's a talented surgeon, but she's got shitty people skills. Even the chief should appreciate that._ "Okay," Arizona finally said. "I'll be happy to bring Dr. Hahn up to speed. I was thinking we'd operate tomorrow after he is more stable. He's already gotten a little stronger since the birth."

Erica nodded curtly. "That will give us some time to look over his scans and labs and get some sleep."

"Okay, well I'll leave you two to it," the chief said. "Dr. Robbins, please do your best to make Dr. Hahn feel welcome."

"Of course," she answered as she rose from the chair. She then turned to Erica. "Would you like to get started?"

"Yes," Erica said as she too rose. She turned to the chief and smiled brightly. "Thank you again for giving me this chance."

Arizona walked out of the chief's office and waited outside for Erica to follow her. Once she was outside and the door was shut, she turned to her friend. "What the hell?"

Erica shrugged. "She called me an hour ago and asked me to come consult on a pediatric case. I had no idea it was a surgeon's kid or that I would be stepping on Torres' toes." One of her eyebrows rose almost accusatorily. "How's that going anyway?"

Arizona rolled her eyes. She had sent Erica a few texts over the past few days to give her some small idea of what was going on with the attack and with her budding relationship with Callie. Erica had seemed generally supportive, but now she worried that it was just more ammunition for Erica in her quest to be the head of cardiothoracic surgery of the new mega-hospital that Ellis Grey was planning. "That's not important here, Erica. This is about work."

"Fine, Dr. Robbins. We'll keep this about work. Can we go to your office and look over the test results? I would like to have some idea what his chances are before we go talk to the parents."

Arizona motioned down toward the bank of elevators across the pedestrian bridge. "You know the way." She fell in step alongside Erica and took a deep breath to quell the bile burning in her throat. _Callie is going to be furious when she finds out. I better find a chance to go tell her or this could be bad. Really, really bad._

_TBC…_


	29. Chapter 29

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thanks for the comments folks. They are good encouragement, but I can always use more (hint, hint).

This one's a little short. But that's about all the Erica I could handle for now!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 29<strong>

Callie stared down at Addison's son and smiled. "You're a fighter, Brian. Yes you are," she whispered to him. Most babies born with the ventricular defect that he had would probably have died before they were an hour old if they had even made it through the birth. But he'd made it through the first six hours and seemed stronger with every hour, although she knew better than most that that could not continue for much longer. Strength could only go so far. He would need surgery in the next day or two at the latest, and they needed to start planning it if they were going to be ready. _Where the hell are you Arizona? We need to get started. I don't want to have to tell Sloan and Addie that their son died because the chief called you into her office for some petty bullshit._ She remembered thinking it was strange when Mark had come in and told her that Arizona had been paged 911 to Chief Grey's office, but with Ellis you just never knew what she was up to. But still the chief should know that they needed to get a move on with the planning.

As if she could hear her, Arizona walked back into the NICU with a rather sour look on her face, followed by Meredith Webber, who sported a bright smile. Callie frowned at the two of them but then focused on Arizona as they approached. "What's up?"

"Can I talk to you? Webber will keep an eye on him."

Callie didn't like the flat tone of her voice or the way she barely made eye contact, but she had no choice but to nod. "He's pretty stable, Webber, but keep an eye on his BP. If it drops at all, page us immediately." She then turned her attention back to Arizona. "After you," she said with a motion of her hand to the door.

When they got outside, Arizona took a deep breath and looked down at her feet. "Callie, I had to go see the chief," she began in a voice that dripped with regret.

"Mark told me. Is that why Webber is on the case? She's been pulling strings to get her into surgeries lately. I mean I guess I can understand since the boards are coming up, but still—"

"Callie, no, that's not it," Arizona cut in.

"No?"

Arizona swallowed visibly before she looked up at Callie. "The chief wanted to let me know who I would be working with on the case."

"Who? I'm the head of cardio. There's no one better at this hospital for this case." Callie didn't understand why the chief had to tell Arizona who she would be working with.

"Calliope, the chief wants someone else on the case."

Callie started to speak but then stopped as Arizona's words sunk in. "Someone else?"

"Erica Hahn."

Callie blinked as she felt like the breath had been knocked out of her lungs. "Hahn? She doesn't even work…" Realization hit her before she could finish the sentence. "Oh," she let out on a heavy exhale. "I guess Erica is my new boss, huh?"

"No, no," Arizona said as she quickly reached over to grab Callie's forearm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "The chief hasn't made any decisions as far as I know."

"Oh, is that supposed to make me feel better?" Callie pulled her arm free from Arizona's grasp and started to pace. "This is a tryout, right? And as soon as she goes all Erica Fucking Hahn and is brilliant at whatever it is she does then I'm out on my ass. You were worried about having to find a new job somewhere else, right? Now it looks like I'll be the one looking for something new. And what do I do with the kids then? I don't want to leave Seattle. But what choice will I have? I can't stay here and be humiliated like that." She felt anger and fear boil in her, leading to hot tears stinging her eyes. "I don't want to take them from Owen. And even more so I don't want to leave you." She walked over to Arizona and felt tears welling in her eyes. "What do I do?"

Arizona grabbed Callie's arm more forcefully this time and dragged her down the hall and into her office. Once inside, Arizona locked the door and pointed to her couch. "Sit down."

Callie had followed along more out of shock than anything, but now that Arizona was telling her what to do, the anger came back. "What are you going to do? Give me a hug and send me on my way? What the fuck, Arizona?"

"No, I'm not," Arizona said in a harsh clipped tone. "Now just sit down, Calliope."

Callie had never heard Arizona raise her voice to anyone and this surprised her enough to make her do what the peds surgeon asked. Once she was seated, she looked up at Arizona, who quickly sat down onto the couch with a loud sigh. Arizona then took Callie's hands in her own. "First of all, I know this sucks for you. I'm not happy about it either. The chief has really crossed the line here."

"But we can't do anything about it. You don't cross Ellis Grey if you want to keep your career." Callie knew that, was resigned to it in fact. She had seen it just recently when the chief had let Bailey go for something she wasn't even really guilty of, just to save her own face. Going to her and telling her that this was all bullshit would certainly mean the end of her career. No one in their right mind would hire someone that Ellis Grey had fired for insubordination. "I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, Arizona. She's so hard to read and I don't know what she's trying to tell me with this. Does she want to see me fight for it or does she want to see if I'm a good follower? What do I do? What would you do?"

Arizona took a deep breath and seemed like she was going to start talking but then stopped and got this thoughtful look on her face. Finally she looked at Callie and there was such empathy playing in her blue eyes that it disheartened Callie. "I'd probably be the good follower, but that's me. I don't ruffle feathers. But you're not me."

Callie's head fell back against the couch and she groaned loudly in frustration. "I don't know. I don't even know how I would fight this if I wanted to. I mean do I storm into the OR and force her to give me the scalpel? I have to think about that little boy, too." She closed her eyes, realizing what she needed to do. "I need to think about Brian. He needs a dedicated team without conflict tearing it apart. I'll keep my mouth shut and work hard for the other cardio patients we have here. You and Erica do what you can for him. His life is way more important than my job."

Arizona smiled, although it was a little sad. "I think that's probably the best idea. Can you maybe help out by staying with Mark and Addie during the surgery? Neither of them has the cardio knowledge to know all the nitty gritty details of what we'll be doing. You can maybe help them understand. We are going to be in OR 5 so there won't be a balcony for you all to sit in and watch, but I'll make sure we send out updates regularly so you know what's going on."

Callie took a deep breath and tried hard to let the anger dissipate now that she had made her decision. She looked into the calming blue eyes across from her and smiled. "I'll be happy to do that. You just make sure you save that little guy, okay?"

"I promise you, we'll do everything we can. I won't give up on him. And as much as Erica can be a real bitch, she's a stubborn fighter for her patients, so I'm sure she won't either." Arizona reached out and cupped Callie's face. "I know this is hard, but I do believe you are better for the department head job than Erica. And I'm not just saying that because we're seeing one another. You are a far better communicator and teacher and I bet you're better at all the crappy paperwork, too. Erica is a great surgeon, sure, but so are you. You're amazing in fact. I really believe once Ellis looks at all the factors, she'll pick you. Having Erica here may actually help you out. She'll get to see how confrontational Erica can be up close and personal."

Callie closed her eyes and nodded. She then felt Arizona draw her into her embrace and smiled as she took a moment to just enjoy the feel of being in the arms of the woman she loved. "Thanks."

Arizona kissed her forehead gently. "No problem. Any time you need support or someone to beat through things with, I'm your girl."

Callie nodded and wrapped her arms around Arizona tightly. "You're my girl for more than that." She then turned her head up and gave Arizona a light kiss. "Now, you better get back to work on Brian's case."

Arizona nodded with just enough of a smile that one of her dimples made an appearance. "I'll text you to let you know when we have things scheduled. And when this is all over with, we'll spend some time alone to make up for that evening together we didn't get to have."

Callie smiled brightly and gave Arizona another kiss, this time on her cheek. "I'm going to hold you to that."

* * *

><p>Arizona stood at the scrub sink and kept looking from scrubbing at her fingers and into the OR where the team was prepping the room for the surgery. It could be a pretty long surgery with a number of potential pitfalls so she was trying to get herself in the right mindset to handle the long stresses they were bound to see. She was just glad that the chief had ordered that the surgery would be in one of the ORs without a balcony. The last thing she wanted was to have an audience for this when there was a real chance they would lose little Brian. Operating on a family member of the staff was always stressful enough without the peanut gallery who would later play second guessing games with every decision you made.<p>

The door to the scrub room opened and Erica walked in, tying her surgical mask over her mouth. "You ready for this Robbins?"

Arizona took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for dealing with her friend, if she could even really call her that anymore. "Of course I'm ready. I'm always ready."

"For surgery at least," Erica said under her breath.

Arizona stopped scrubbing her fingernails and turned angrily toward Erica. "What the hell does that mean?"

Erica grabbed a scrub pack and walked over to the next faucet, kicking it on with the foot pedal. "Nothing. Look, can we just get through this. We're friends, right? Why are we bickering?"

Arizona took a deep breath and tried hard to quell the anger stirring in her. It didn't work. "Because you seem to want to throw a wrench in my private life. And now you're here and you're stepping into a surgery that my—" She stopped short, just as much because she wasn't sure how to label Callie as she was unwilling to give Erica the power of knowing more about her relationship.

"Your girlfriend? Is that what she is? I mean, it sounds to me like she's pussy blocking you to be honest. What did you say? No sex until after the divorce? The old Robbins would have never agreed to that shit." Erica's steel blue eyes were cold, mean even.

"She's not pussy blocking me and maybe I've changed," Arizona bit back. This wasn't the time to let her emotions get the better of her and getting in a fight with the woman she would be working with to save little Brian's life was far from the best way to stay even-keeled. She took a deep breath and focused on her hands as she ran them under the water. "Let's just drop this until after the surgery."

"Look, Arizona," Erica said, her voice softer now, "I don't want to fight with you. I want you to be happy and I'm happy you're trying to have a real relationship for a change. I want this to work out for you. But I also want this job when the merger happens, so I have to look out for me. I've got a relationship to worry about too, and it's been going on far longer than your dalliance with Callie Torres. I'll be sorry for you if I win and she has to move to find another job, but I won't cry over it."

Arizona kicked the water off and shook her hands free from excess water. "Damn, Erica, I used to think you were just a little socially inept. But now I know that you're just a bitch." She shook her head at the woman and then backed through the glass door into OR. _So much for that friendship. Oh well, don't dwell on it now. Let's just do the best job you can for Brian and his parents. That's the only thing that's important right now. The only thing._

TBC...


	30. Chapter 30

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thanks so much for all the great comments. Yes, Erica is a bitch and we can all be united in our hatred for her in this story. You'll get your answer whether she'll get the job in this chapter so that will be wrapped up.

And to the "this is dragging" crowd…no this story won't go to 100 chapters or even 50 (yup, less than 20 chapters to go). I actually have the story outlined and every chapter has a purpose. Don't want to say more or I'd be spoiling it.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 30<strong>

Arizona stood again in the scrub room and felt tears of relief sting at her eyes. It had been close, really close, and Brian was probably only seconds from coding at least twice, but the defect had been fixed. While he was alive, the second touch-and-go time could have been totally been avoided if Erica hadn't let her ego get the better of her. The fact that she thought she could take a short cut and still manage to fix the defect properly was so utterly arrogant, but what could you expect from someone like Erica, especially with the prospect of a future job hanging in the air.

The door to the hallway slammed open, making Arizona jump as her heart sped up. _What the…_

"Where is she?" Ellis Grey practically yelled as she stormed into the scrub room.

"Where is who?" Arizona asked, although she knew exactly who the subject of the chief's ire was.

"Hahn. I heard what happened." She stopped and looked at Arizona. "You should have known better than to let her try that stunt."

"Me?" Arizona's anger flared and she almost erupted at the chief until she saw that don't-you-dare look on her face. "Hahn was the lead on this surgery. She was the cardio specialist and she wasn't going to take any advice from a mere pediatric surgeon. That's the problem with her. She doesn't work well with others. Well it's one of her problems."

The chief was clearly about to lay into her when the door from the OR opened and Erica came in. "I still don't get how—" She stopped when she saw the chief standing there. "Um, hello Chief Grey."

The chief's fury flared again as she went over to go toe-to-toe with Erica. She looked up at the cardio surgeon and pointed a finger into her chest. "You screwed up in there, Hahn. You were trying so hard to prove that you should be the chief of my cardio department that you forgot the patient. That's who we're here for, not for your ego or power. The patient always comes first."

Erica took a step back and shook her head. "I know the patient comes first. That's why I did what I did.. I was trying to get him off the table as soon as possible. A baby that small can't handle an extended surgery."

"His vitals were stable," Arizona interjected quietly.

Erica shot her a look that would kill most people. "They could have dropped at any minute. Isn't that why you claim pediatrics is so hardcore? Because kids compensate until the last moment and then crash through the floor. We have no way of knowing how long those vitals would have stayed where they were."

Arizona was now angry at Erica's excuses. "In the OR anything can happen at any minute. A simple bone break can throw a clot that can kill. An appendectomy that we think is so minor that we often leave it to a second year can rupture and lead to abdominal abscesses or worse. But you have to operate based on what you're presented. Yes, you should try to keep surgeries as short as possible, especially with kids, but there was nothing that said he couldn't handle an extra thirty minutes on the table. You just wanted to show off, to try some fancy new technique you'd heard about. Right?"

Erica's eyes were wide and she started to sputter out a reply but she was cut off by the chief. "You showed incredibly poor judgment, Dr. Hahn. I expect my department heads to do better than that. I will definitely have to take this incident into account when I look at who will be my head of cardio once this merger goes through."

The chief turned to leave when Erica pulled herself up to her full height and called after her, "I don't want your position, Chief. I won't work at a hospital where I am micromanaged. I'd rather go find a position far away from your oversight. You may think I've got an ego that I needs to be fed, but you really are the kettle calling me black, aren't you?"

Ellis turned back around slowly, her eyes wide in that way she got when she couldn't believe someone would speak to her that way. "Thank you for making my decision for me. I'm sure there are hospitals in other areas of the country that can use a cardio surgeon who thinks she's far better than she is. Maybe somewhere out in the sticks of Appalachia would work for you." With that she twirled on her heel and strode out of the scrub room, leaving a dead silence in her wake.

Arizona immediately felt sorry for Erica. They had been friends, very good friends in fact, and while things had become strained lately, she still wanted what was best for Erica. And now it looked like she would have to move away from the city she had called home for years, from the job she had made her own, and the reputation she had carefully built. And worse, and what really tore at Arizona's heart, she and Julia would have to decide what to do in the near future—both move, continue on in a long distance relationship, or worst of all, break up. Erica's mistake was going to have serious impacts on at least two people and Arizona understood now that that would be a horrible circumstance to be in. Just the thought that she and Callie could have had to face a similar set of decisions made it all hit too close to home. "Erica, I'm sorry. I know you-"

"Save it," Erica bit back as she ripped her scrub cap off. "I fucked up and I'll pay the price. You and your little girlfriend win." She brushed past Arizona, not even bothering to scrub out, and let the door to the room slam behind her.

Arizona turned and leaned over the scrub sink. She let out a deep breath of frustration and relief all in one. While she was happy that Callie now seemed a lock for the position and that meant their relationship would face less complications going forward, it still hurt her that her friend was now facing such dramatic changes in her life. _Why can't this all work out for everyone? It sucks that she has to be hurt just so I get what I want._

She sighed heavily and kicked the water to the sick on. She wanted to scrub out and go find Callie to tell her what had happened.

* * *

><p>Callie couldn't help herself and wanted to peek into the OR to see how the surgery on Brian was going. But as she turned the corner to approach the scrub room door, she ran smack dab into Erica Hahn. "Oh, sorry. You're done?"<p>

"That's an understatement," Erica huffed and then stormed off down the hallway.

"What the hell?" Callie looked after her and shook her head. She then looked around and didn't see anyone else from the surgical team in the hall, so she continued down to the scrub room and opened the door gently, finding Arizona at the sink washing her hands. "Hey you."

Arizona jumped at the interruption and turned from the sink. "Calliope, you scared me."

"Sorry," Callie said as she moved into the room, letting the door shut behind her. "I just literally ran into Hahn in the hallway. What's got her panties in a bunch? Did something happen to Brian?" She didn't want to think about that and prayed that the answer was negative.

"Brian made it, although there were a few iffy moments." Arizona leaned back heavily onto the sink. "Erica tried to cut a corner and attempt some new technique she'd read about to impress the chief. It didn't work and Brian almost bled out. I had to save him, but it was just as much luck as skill that I did. Needless to say the chief heard and she won't be taking your job. In fact, I bet she won't be working anywhere near a major city or decent cardio program for quite a while."

"Really?" Callie felt such a weight lift off her shoulders at that and she actually jumped up into the air at the thought that she wouldn't have to fight Erica Hahn for her job or consider moving to a new city just to continue to work. "That's great!"

"Yeah, I guess it is." Arizona's tone was flatter than her words indicated.

Callie was about to go over and embrace her in celebration until she heard her tone. "What's wrong? It is great. I won't have to move and take my kids away from Owen. We can continue our relationship. Why aren't you happier?"

Arizona sighed and gave what seemed to be a forced smile. "It is great, Callie. It really is. You get to keep your job and stay here. But Erica is going to have to leave the city. Once this merger happens, there won't be a cardio job worth a damn within the entire state. She's got a girlfriend, a circle of friends, patients that she's been working with for years. She's an amazing surgeon and sure she's a bit of a bitch at times. I know that more than most. But she's still one of us. She's a surgeon who gives so much just to save lives and now she's getting the short end of the stick simply because she made a mistake. We all go out of our ways to impress the chief, she just screwed up while doing it, and under a spotlight no less. And now she's lost everything. It could happen to pretty much any of us."

"Yeah, it couldn't have happened to a nicer person," Callie huffed out. She couldn't believe how much Arizona was sticking up for the woman who could have torn them apart before they had really gotten going. "Look, I get that it sucks for her, but I have to look out for me and my family. And I want to look out for our relationship, too. I get that she's your friend, but aren't I more important than her in your life?"

"That's not what this is about," Arizona said as she let out a breath that seemed to deflate her. "I wanted you to get the job, of course. I mean you're my—" She stopped short and seemed a little unsure of herself before she continued. "You're the person I'm dating and you're the person I'm hoping to build a long term relationship with, so of course I want you here and I want you to have the fulfilling career you dream of. And most of all, I don't want you to have to split your kids from both their parents. But that doesn't mean I can't feel bad for my friend, for a fellow surgeon. I just can't believe how cold you're being about this." She stood up and started to walk out of the scrub room.

Callie grabbed Arizona's arm as she passed and twirled her around so they were facing one another. "I'm not being cold, Arizona. My God, I would never just be happy that another person screwed up and didn't get a job, even when it means I benefit. I'm not that callous."

"That's not what I'm hearing," Arizona said as she yanked her arm away and hurried out of the scrub room.

Callie just stared at the door as it bounced closed. "What the hell was that?" She wanted to run after Arizona, but right at this moment she knew Arizona wouldn't hear what she had to say. _And it's not like I'm sure how best to explain to her that I'm not some cold bitch. I need time to figure out how to talk to her about this._ She shook her head and felt the anger just simmer under the surface but tried hard to let it pass. Finally, she felt a little calmer and she took a deep breath. _I'll give her today to fume but tomorrow I'll make sure she really hears me. _ She then laughed quietly and a small smile came to her lips. "Damn, I think we just had our first fight."

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**Dedication: **This chapter's for Lovegood41 since she's decided I write Calzona just for her :)

**A/N****:** Love your comments. Yes, Arizona overreacted, although I think you'll understand a little more why she did it in this chapter. Oh and I'm back from vacation so between work, studying for a certification exam, and a little thing called a move (all by myself), postings won't be as frequent.

**Rant:** Okay, guest(s), if you want to rant or offer criticism, you must have a login name from now on or I will not approve your comments (I'll never delete a comment, no matter how constructively critical of my writing, from someone with a user name…unless it's just hateful, spiteful or beyond rude). I would love to engage with you about your criticisms but won't do it in my author's notes any more after this.

But I do hear you and I tightened up the remaining chapters (dropped 4 by compressing things in fact) so hopefully things will move a little quicker.

Also, just to clear up something. I write angsty stories. I'm not a pony and rainbows kind of gal. Also, if you are expecting tons of hot sex and steamy stuff, that's just not what I write. That's not to say there won't be some of that (there already has obviously), but it has to shine a light on the characters, otherwise if feels gratuitous to me and that's not what I'm interested in writing. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's just not my thing.

Remember, I write for free and primarily for my enjoyment. If you like what I write, great, if not there are plenty of other stories out there for you to read that might be more to your liking. Life's too short to read stories that you aren't enjoying.

Okay enough ranting…now let's see if/how they make up!

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><p><strong>Chapter 31<strong>

Arizona sighed with relief as she hung up her cell phone. It had been good to get the news that there was a plea deal on the table that would send Jordan to prison for a number of years even if it had yet to be accepted. It would certainly be better than a long drawn out trial and, even worse, the prospect that she could be totally freed. It had been days since Jordan had made bail and luckily nothing had happened so far, but if she were totally exonerated, then the restraining order would be vacated and Arizona would live under the fear of Jordan seeking revenge. "Something's finally going right," she whispered as she stared into the flames in her fireplace and took a sip of beer.

Still, while this was good news, she felt horrible for how she had treated Callie earlier in the day. It had taken a while for her to really determine why she had bit her head off like that. At first she just thought she was being a stand up friend, even if Erica probably didn't deserve such a defense. But then when Arizona had come home and thought about it, she realized what it really was about. It had hit all too close to home.

She took another long swig from the bottle and then got up to go into her bedroom. It took her a few minutes of digging through her closet before she found the banker's box back in one corner. It was labeled "Med School/Residency" but she knew what it really held—the best and the worst of the nine years she had spent at Johns Hopkins. She picked it up and carried it back out to the living room, dropping it heavily on the coffee table and flicking the lid off so that it landed on the floor.

She smiled at the two items at the top of the box. There was the purple Littmann stethoscope her parents had given her the day she left for Baltimore to start medical school. Then there was her first lab coat from residency with her name proudly embroidered on it—Arizona Robbins, MD. Under the coat there were a few other items—pictures, letters, a few journals. But then all the way at the bottom were the four items she was looking for. She wasn't sure why she had kept them, but it was time to put her past behind her and these items were all part of what she needed to forgive herself for. _Forgive and forget._

First was the headshot photo that had hung on the wall of the hospital lobby. Sure, her picture had been at the end, after the Chief of Surgery and all the department heads, but still it had brought a smile to her face every day—and she had made sure to walk by it at least once a day when she was at work. It was a constant reminder that she had made it, she was accomplishing her dreams. The matting on the photo was still attached with the nameplate at the bottom including her title: Chief Resident, 2006-2007. When the chief had handed it to her in his office and told her that while she was still officially chief resident, he couldn't advertise that fact after all the scandal, it had been all she could do not to break down into tears right there.

Then there had been the letter from Children's National Medical Center in Washington, DC. When it had arrived, she hadn't thought anything about it. After all, it was where she had long planned to complete her fellowship. She and Sandy had even planned on buying a house together somewhere in Maryland between the two cities so they could finally take their relationship public. So, when she had gotten the letter, she had figured it was just some piece of administrative material she needed to know before her fellowship began. She had been shocked when she read that the offer to work there had been rescinded. It had been the first of many such letters that would find their way into her mailbox, and each and every one of them had brought her to tears.

Tucked just under the letter was the picture of her and Sandy on their trip out to the Shenandoah Valley. They had only ever managed to get out of town together once, but as they had hiked the trails and enjoyed the scenery, they had also spent hours talking about their future—how they would move to the Maryland suburbs and get a house with plenty of land so that they could have dogs, and maybe even horses and chickens. It had been all she had ever wanted and even now she could still remember how happy she had been that day as they sat on the rock overlooking the land below the mountains and how the young man who had taken their picture told them what a great couple they made. It would be less than a month before it all came crumbling down, but right then, everything had been just perfect.

Finally, there was Sandy's Ohio State t-shirt. Arizona picked it up and brought it to her face. The material was so soft after years of wear and Arizona imagined she could still smell just the hint of Sandy's cologne on it. When Arizona had come home the day after the shit had all hit the fan, she had found that t-shirt, tucked in a drawer, and had held it to her face as she sobbed for hours. For weeks thereafter, she had curled up with it at night, trying to find some comfort in the familiar feel and smell of the old t-shirt. Only when the anger at how Sandy had treated her finally erupted did she toss the shirt in her box of memories.

Now, all these items were a reminder of that time in her life when everything she had worked so hard for had crumbled around her. She remembered all too well how it had felt to have her dreams crushed and to be almost literally chased out of town, albeit only after finishing the last few weeks of her residency. But it was her own mistake that had led to all that, just as Erica's mistake had led to her own dreams being crushed. It hadn't occurred to her earlier why she had felt such a visceral need to jump to Erica's defense, but now she knew. She had been there herself.

But now she had a chance to move forward. She had a great job, even a few friends—although she had certainly lost Erica as one of them—and most importantly she had this great new relationship that she was starting to believe in more and more. Sure, things were still tentative to some extent, and her reaction today may have made them more so, but she really felt like this could develop into something special, maybe even be the great love of her life. "It's time to let this go and move on," she told herself as she gathered up the four items and moved over to the fireplace.

One by one, she tossed each item into the flames and watched as they were consumed. As each item turned to ash, it was like a weight was being lifted from her shoulders. Finally, there were only charred bits of paper and material lying at the bottom of the fireplace. She turned off the gas feeding the flames and watched as they disappeared. She then went into the kitchen and got a glass of water to douse the remnants of her past, making sure they didn't flare up again. "That's that," she said with a smile on her lips as the final hiss of water on hot ash quieted.

She glanced at her watch and noticed it was after 9. It was late, but not too late, and in fact if Callie had the kids, they should at least be in bed by now. She wanted to go see Callie, to explain to her why she did what she did and apologize for treating her so harshly. Most of all, though, she wanted to tell Callie that she was really moving on and that Callie was a large part of that.

* * *

><p>Callie sat at the table and stared at her half eaten plate of Chinese food. She hadn't felt this alone in a long time what with the kids at Owen's mother's house because he was working and she was on call. But even worse, after their fight earlier, her stomach was in knots not knowing how things were going to play out with Arizona. She was worried that even so trivial a fight would be enough to knock their rather precarious relationship of its rails. She sighed as she pushed the now-cold noodles around her plate. Finally, she put her fork down and let out a resolute breath. "I can't let this fester," she said to herself as she picked her cellphone up and quickly dialed Arizona.<p>

It took a few rings before the Arizona picked up. "Hi."

"Hey, can we talk? I don't want to let today sit for too long."

"Well, if you give me two minutes, I'll actually be on your doorstep. I'm just turning into your neighborhood."

"Really?" This brought a big smile to her face as butterflies stirred deep in her stomach. "Okay, then I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Are the kids in bed?" Arizona said in a rush before Callie could hang up.

"They're at their grandmother's, so we can talk without any worries of toddler nightmares or a ridiculous need for a glass of water."

"Okay, well I'll see you in a minute then. Just turning on to your street now."

"Okay," Callie said as she hung up her phone. She put her dirty dish in the sink and then padded out toward the front door.

She opened the door, taking in a breath of the chilly air, and leaned against the doorframe as Arizona's Jeep pulled in to her driveway. When Arizona's blonde head popped around the back of her car, Callie couldn't help but smile. They may have just had a fight, but just by the hesitant smile on Arizona's face, she just knew things would be okay. "I guess great minds think alike."

"I guess so," Arizona said as she jogged up the front steps. There was now a hint of sadness on her face. "I'm sorry about earlier today."

"You'd had a rough day. It was an emotional surgery and Erica's your friend," Callie said, trying to blunt the apology. She knew that Arizona had overreacted, but there were certainly reasons behind it. And the more Callie had thought about it, the more she could understand at least the germination of Arizona's reaction. While it wasn't how she would have handled it, she had to accept Arizona for the person she was, and maybe over-the-top reactions were just part of who she was.

"It was more than that. Why don't we go inside and talk." She then smiled. "But first can I offer an apology kiss?"

Now Callie couldn't keep the smile off her face. "I'd be mad if you didn't."

This brought out Arizona's dimples and the sparkle in her blue eyes as she stepped up onto the door step and grabbed at Callie's shirt to pull her down into a kiss that was slow and tender and curled Callie's toes while setting her butterflies into crazy loops and dives in her stomach. When Arizona pulled away gently she smiled up at Callie. "I'm really sorry."

"Me too," Callie answered as she reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Arizona's ear. "But we'll get over this and be fine, right?"

"You bet," Arizona answered with a laugh.

Callie opened the door wider so Arizona could enter. "Come on in. It's chilly out here. Can I get you something to drink?"

Arizona spun around after she entered the house and talked to Callie as she walked backward through the entry. "Whatever you're having."

"I'm on call, so I'm having water."

"That's fine."

They entered the kitchen and Arizona watched as Callie filled two glasses with ice and water before they went into the adjoining family room to sit on the couch together. Callie watched as Arizona took a long sip from the water. She then smiled at the blonde. "So, I'll let you do the talking, okay?"

Arizona nodded but didn't say anything right away. Instead she fiddled with her glass for a moment before placing it on the coffee table. "You were right, part of why I went off today was because of the emotions of the surgery and because Erica was my friend." Her blue eyes lifted then and Callie could see the swirling emotions in them. "_Was_ my friend," she repeated. "I doubt we'll ever be friends again."

"I'm sorry," Callie offered quietly.

Arizona shook her head. "I don't need her in my life. When I was cutting myself off from everyone, I needed her. Now, my life is going in a different direction and I don't need toxic people like that in my life." Arizona reached out and took Callie's hand. "I need people like you."

Callie ran her thumb over the soft skin of Arizona's hand. "Thanks. Me, too."

Arizona's smile was less sad this time and her dimples popped out. But then she got more sober. "But that wasn't all. I didn't think about it at the time, but I guess I really related to Erica. I went through something similar when I was getting all these job offers and then made a stupid mistake." She laughed dryly. "Well it was more like a months-long mistake, but you know what I mean. And suddenly, my career was crumbling before my eyes. My relationship was over, I had to walk away from friends and from a city I had come to love. I was left to scramble for something, anything really, to try to salvage my career." Her smile returned then. "I guess in the end it all worked out for the best, and maybe it will for Erica, too. If she finds her Calliope Torres because of this, then she'll be lucky."

Callie felt her cheeks grow hot at that. "You're making me blush."

Arizona reached up and gently ran her fingers along Callie's cheek. "You're beautiful when you blush." She leaned in and gave Callie a light kiss just to the side of her mouth. "So, I hope you understand why I went off, but there was no excuse. You are clearly more important to me than Erica and I'm so happy you'll get to keep your job and stay here. I'm happy for your kids and I'm happy for us." She took a noticeably deep breath and then swallowed. "From this point I'm looking forward, not back. I'm done letting Sandy and her damned wife have any influence over me. It's time to worry about the future, to build a future, and I really hope that future ends up being with you."

Callie felt a wave of love and happiness well up in her at Arizona's sentiment. "I want that too. I mean, I know things are still pretty new, but I really hope this works out."

Arizona smiled and then blushed herself. "You know, on the way over, I was thinking about something that happened earlier today. Before we went into surgery, Erica and I were talking. Well, okay, more like we were arguing. But she was egging me on a little about you and I found myself struggling to find a way to refer to you. And I was thinking about that on the way over here. So, I'm going to go out on a limb here, because I tend to think you need to name what you want in life, right? So, here it is. Is it okay if I call you my girlfriend?"

Callie smiled so broadly her face actually hurt. "Really? I like that. I like that a lot." She leaned forward and gave Arizona a kiss that turned heated in a heartbeat. Only when they needed air, did they break apart, but Callie quickly leaned in so that their foreheads were resting against one another. "So, you're my girlfriend, huh?" Her stomach flipped when she said it.

"I guess I am," Arizona said with a light laugh. "I like it a lot, too."

"You know what?"

"What?"

Callie leaned back so she could look into those captivating blue eyes. "You're the first girlfriend I've ever had. So that makes you incredibly special I guess."

Arizona shrugged in a playfully nonchalant manner. "I guess it does." She then laughed. "So, girlfriend of mine, I seem to surmise we're here alone, right?"

"We are," Callie drew out.

"And normally after a fight you'd have make up sex, but since we're waiting, I vote we have make up making out. Sound good?"

Callie's stomach did a triple somersault with probably at least as many twists as she leaned in again and ran her fingertip from Arizona's chin down her neck and just to the top of her cleavage. "I think that sounds just about perfect." She then captured Arizona's mouth in a searing kiss as she pushed her back onto the couch.

The kisses were intense while hands ran up sides and under shirts to caress the smooth skin of stomachs. Callie spent minutes just nibbling along Arizona's jaw line and then down to her neck, smiling against skin that was finally no longer blemished by the bruises of her attack. Arizona was healing fast, both physically from the attack and emotionally from the years of pain she had allowed herself to wallow in after what happened at Hopkins. And as much as Callie was turned on at that moment, she was also just so incredibly happy that things were turning around for Arizona.

Finally, the kisses became gentler and almost lazy until finally they settled down to lie on the couch next to one another with Callie holding Arizona, her arm tight around her waist. "Thank you," she whispered into Arizona's ear.

"For what? For making out with you? It's not exactly a sacrifice, Calliope." She laughed softly.

"No, for respecting me and not pushing. I know waiting isn't easy for you."

Arizona rolled over so she was facing Callie. "I doubt it's easy for you either, but it's important to you so it's important to me. Besides, I'm kind of enjoying this slow burn we've got going. Making out is a lost art and we get two and a half months or so to work on it."

"Oh really? Is that what you call this? Practicing a lost art?"

"I call it amazing. But I definitely think we need more practice," Arizona said, her voice falling to a sexy register.

Callie pulled Arizona on top of her and smiled up at her. "Yeah, we're just horrible at it," she said with a small knowing smile.

"Then practice it is."

TBC…


	32. Chapter 32

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** I did warn updates would be a little slower right? Yeah, sorry, moving is stressful and I'm doing this all by myself, so lots to do. I'm going to bet about 1 update a week until early to mid-November (that'll put us close to the end).

Thanks for the support guys. Y'all are truly awesome. And so glad you enjoyed the make up making out and Arizona making some forward progress last time around. We've got another up and down chapter (please read it to the end before passing judgment, okay?). Oh, and don't forget this is an A/U story, so these versions react a little differently (even though really they are essentially the same people deep down) since they've had different life experiences than Callie and Arizona on the show.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

Callie was so glad no one else was in the restroom to witness the hot mess she had devolved into. It was the first thing that had gone right that day, in fact. _This can't be happening. Please don't let this be happening. Things have been going so well with us the last few days and now this. Fuck!_

She splashed cold water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She was glad to see her eyes weren't puffy from crying and she was feeling just a little more reassured because of that. She let out a deep breath and tried to regain more control of her emotions. "Quit it, Callie," she admonished herself, "no sense panicking until you know for sure. But, God, if I'm pregnant because of that damned one night stand…" She just didn't want to think of the consequences for her or her relationship.

_Five days. Sure one or two I could understand, maybe even three, but five days late?_ For someone as regular as a Swiss watch that was concerning to say the least. She had never been this late except for when she was pregnant with Allegra and the twins. So, something had to be up and everything added up that the timing would have been right. While a lot of that night was fuzzy thanks to all the alcohol, she was certain he had used a condom. What she couldn't be sure about was whether it had broken. Owen's vasectomy after the twins had been born had meant she could go off her birth control, so she didn't even have that to fall back on. _Dammit, if it broke and I'm pregnant, what the hell do I tell Arizona? I have to tell her the truth. I need her._

She dried her face and adjusted her clothing before venturing out into the hallway and making a beeline for her office. Once safely inside, she pulled her cellphone out of her lab coat and collapsed onto the couch. It only took a second to bring up Arizona's contact screen and Callie had to smile at the new picture there, showing Arizona giving one of her most amazing dimple-filled smiles. It brightened Callie's whole day just looking at it and it also made her more relaxed about tell her. After all, how could anyone with that smile be mad at her for what had happened? Before she could reconsider, she hit the call button and put the phone up to her ear.

The phone was answered after only one ring. "Hey you. Can I just say I hate monthly budget reports?"

Callie smiled. "Yeah, I'm putting mine off for a bit. I was thinking of finding a math-inclined intern to do it for me."

"Good idea. So, what's up? Or are you just calling to hear my voice? I'm not complaining either way, of course. I love hearing yours."

Callie leaned back into the couch and relaxed even more as she put her fears out of her mind for a moment. While they still hadn't said the L-word to one another, they were both increasingly saying they loved things about one another. It was a way to ease into it, Callie figured, especially because she thought it really was still too early in their relationship to be professing love for one another, no matter how over the moon for Arizona she felt. "Me too, but I did have a reason. Can you get away from your budget for a bit?"

"Gladly. I have a surgery at 11. Is that enough time?"

"It's better than nothing." She felt the fear and emotion suddenly well up in her again. "I need you right now," she said as her voice broke.

"I'm on my way," Arizona spit out in a rush and then the phone went dead.

She hadn't wanted to concern her, but she was really getting worried. Callie not only needed to get telling Arizona over with, but she really just needed her girlfriend's support, just in case it turned out her mistake was now exponentially multiplied.

When Arizona burst through the office door, she was out of breath. She paused for only a second to lock the door and then came over to sit next to Callie, taking her hands as she did. "What's wrong?"

That was when the tears started to fall. Arizona wrapped her in a warm hug and just held her without saying anything and Callie was so glad there was no pressure to explain her sudden emotion. Finally, she drew in a shuddering breath that helped to quell the tears and sat up, wiping the moisture from her face as she did. "Okay, so I, well, I might be…" It was hard to say, but she knew she had to push through, to rip off the band aid, no matter the cost. Their relationship needed honesty and she couldn't be any more honest than to share her fears just then. "I might be pregnant."

Arizona's eyes went wide but to her credit that was the only noticeable reaction. "Might be. So you haven't taken a test yet?"

"Not yet. I've been putting it off. And to be honest I really wanted some support in case it's positive." It was hard for her to admit that, even to Arizona.

Arizona sat up straighter and became more serious. "Shouldn't Owen be the one with you when you get the results?"

Callie's stomach dropped and she felt lightheaded at the thought of having to admit what had happened. "Owen had a vasectomy two years ago."

Arizona's brow furrowed. "Then how?" It only took a second before realization obviously hit. "You slept with someone else?" There was just enough accusation in her tone to make the question sting.

Callie quickly grabbed at Arizona's arm, needing that tactile contact to ground her. "It was when I was still figuring out my feelings for you. I didn't cheat on you, I promise." Callie felt herself start to panic as Arizona's arm tensed beneath her grip.

"Whatever happened to not cheating on your marriage?" She stood up and walked a few steps away before reeling around suddenly. "We have to wait, but you ran out and slept with someone else and that's okay? Why? Because I'm a woman and he was a man? Is this whole waiting shit just a way to avoid sleeping with me?"

"No, that's not it at all," Callie rushed to say as she rose to her feet. She took a step toward Arizona but stopped when Arizona took a step back. "Will you give me a minute to explain? Please?" The hurt in Arizona's eyes broke her heart, but it was the single tear that trickled down her cheek that really did her in.

When Arizona spoke, her voice was choked with emotion. "Please tell me I'm not right, Calliope."

"You're not. Please just sit down so we can talk about this."

Arizona hesitated for a moment and then seemed to deflate. She tossed herself down on the couch and looked up at Callie with watery blue eyes. "Okay, I'm sitting. Start talking." There was just enough challenge in her voice to tell Callie that she didn't really believe this would turn out well.

Callie was really unnerved with Arizona's reaction. When she sat down, she put at least two feet between them, wanting to give them each room. "Like I said, this happened before I told you how I felt. Hell, it happened before I was sure how I felt. I wasn't planning on it either. I was just so confused and scared and my mind just wouldn't shut off. So I went to the Archfield, got a room, and planned on getting plastered so I could finally just have a little peace from my thoughts. I'm not an alcoholic or anything, don't worry. I haven't been that drunk since college in fact. I just needed it all to stop for one night."

There was pain in Arizona's eyes. "I know that time wasn't easy for you. I can't imagine dealing with your separation plus suddenly having feelings for another woman. I get that you were going a little nuts, but Callie, really? Getting blitzed?"

"Not one of my finer decisions, that's for sure. And it led to a worse one. There was a guy at the bar and you can probably guess what happened. I wanted to prove to myself that I was straight and he was there and willing."

"I guess it's pretty obvious you didn't prove that to yourself." Now there was just the small hint of an amused smile on Arizona's lips.

Callie smiled at that as well. "The whole time I kept wondering what it would be like to have you touching me. It wasn't bad with him, but it just didn't do it for me. I get more just from the way you look at me than I did that night. Even back then, I knew that. So, yes, it helped me actually come to terms with my attraction to you, or at the very least it helped me be more willing to consider it."

Arizona's eyes fell for a moment and then she nodded. "Okay. Well, I mean not okay, really. You still cheated on your marriage. Can I trust that you won't cheat on me somewhere down the road?"

Callie's eyes went wide in surprise. "No, my God, no. I would never cheat on you. Owen and I were separated and you and I weren't together yet. I would never ever cheat on you, I swear."

Arizona took a huge breath and nodded. "I guess I'm going to have to trust you on that. Besides, I'm not exactly a stranger to being involved in an affair, so I'm hoping you trust me, too."

"I do," Callie said quietly. It was never even a consideration that Arizona would cheat. Callie just new she wouldn't for some reason.

That brought another small smile to Arizona's lips. "Okay, so you slept with this guy. Ugh, damn, I hate to think some stranger got to touch you and see you naked and I haven't yet. And I understand why you did it. But were you so drunk you didn't use a condom?"

"We used one. I may be fuzzy on some of what went on, but I remember that. That doesn't mean it didn't break or maybe he's one of those crazy guys that likes to poke holes in condoms and knock up random women. Condoms aren't foolproof and I haven't been on birth control since before I got pregnant with the boys."

Arizona nodded slightly but didn't say anything and it was clear she was thinking. Then she finally sighed. "Okay, so I get all that, but I still don't understand why it's okay to sleep with a stranger and not with me."

Callie felt slightly reassured now that Arizona was calmer, so she slid across the couch until they were right next to one another. She took Arizona's hands in her own and held them tightly. "I really regret that night and I never want to regret you or feel that something as amazing as sex with someone you care for can be wrong in any way. It has nothing to do with you being a woman and everything to do with wanting a future with you. I don't want to risk my conscience haunting me and hurting us down the road. Okay?"

Arizona's face relaxed just a little. "I don't ever want you to regret us." She let out a long breath. "Sometimes it's just so hard not to touch you, because I'm dying to."

A flash of heat ran through Callie at the thought. "You aren't the only one. Sure it makes me nervous to think about it, but trust me, I am right there with you. You're amazingly tempting."

Arizona's smile broadened and that now familiar twinkle played in her blue eyes. She then leaned in and gave Callie a kiss that was brief, but no less filled with passion than some of their more extended exchanges. "Good," she whispered against Callie's lips before sitting back and nodding. "So, back to the original issue. Do you want me to draw your blood or would you rather I find some incompetent intern?"

"Um, yeah, I guess I'd prefer you. But Arizona, are you okay with this? If I am pregnant?"

Arizona let out a deep sigh. "Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. You might just be a little late because of stress or the fact we've been spending a lot of time together and women tend to synch up with lots of contact."

"You know that's just a wives tale. Please, Arizona, tell me what you're thinking about this." Callie felt herself starting to worry again at Arizona's diversion from the topic.

Arizona bit at her lip and glanced off to the side for a few seconds before looking back at Callie with clouded eyes. "To be honest, I need a little time to process this and would rather wait to do that when we know for sure. But, look, I came into this relationship knowing you had kids."

"This is different."

"Not that much." Arizona sighed. "It boils down to the fact that I wouldn't break up with you because of this, okay? Beyond that, I need to think, but let's wait for the results and we'll deal with it then."

Callie wasn't really reassured by Arizona's tepid reaction, but she also said it wasn't a deal breaker, so that was something to hold onto. "Okay," was the only answer she could muster right then. She had to swallow to make sure she could speak confidently. "Go get a blood draw kit. I'll wait here."

Arizona gave her a final, somewhat shaky smile before leaving. Once she was alone, Callie's head fell forward wearily. _Please let the results be negative. We don't need this on top of everything else. Especially with that reaction from Arizona._

* * *

><p>Arizona dried the last dish and put it up in the cabinet before turning to look at Callie on the couch. She was staring at her phone like it had personally offended her. "Quit checking," she said with an exasperated sigh as she went over to sit next to Callie. She gently took the phone from her and placed it on the coffee table. "Rick swore he'd call as soon as he got the results."<p>

Callie closed her eyes and her head fell to her chest with a groan. "Why is it taking so long?"

"It's a watched pot, so quit watching it and it'll happen." Arizona reached out and wrapped her arms around Callie, pulling her back into her chest so they could both lounge on the couch together. "I still think it'll be negative."

"Well, here's hoping you're right."

Callie's tone was so defeated that it tore at Arizona's heart and she tightened her embrace. "Look, I know I wasn't ready to talk much about this earlier, but I've been thinking about this all day." She let out a small burst of dry laughter. "It was pretty much all I could think about, in fact."

"Sorry if I was a distraction for you today."

"You weren't a distraction. Well no more than usual," she added with a kiss to the crown of Callie's head. "To be honest, I probably needed to really think about this, even if you aren't pregnant. I mean, I know you've got kids, but I've sort of been avoiding thinking about how that might affect my life and our relationship."

She could feel Callie tense up. "And?"

Arizona took a deep breath and tried to quell all the thoughts and emotions that had been swirling in her since that morning. "I never really thought much about having kids. Maybe it was because when I figured out I was gay, it was still back in the day before gays and lesbians having kids was such a normal thing. Maybe that's part of why I never thought much about it, because I probably subconsciously thought it wasn't in the cards for me. At the very least, I figure you have to really want to have a kid as a lesbian to make the effort to either adopt or do artificial insemination. I just never wanted kids that much."

"Okay," Callie drew out uncertainly.

"Let me finish. Kids just weren't on my radar for so long. I was so busy with school and then residency that I barely had time to think about dating and whether my relationships would last another week let alone long enough to think about building a family. I just wasn't really in a position to think long term. And then Sandy came along just as I was starting to realize I'd have to think about the rest of my life and she categorically didn't want children, so I was off the hook from having to really consider it."

"And then all the crap with her happened and you thought you went all anti-relationship," Callie continued for her.

"Exactly. So, really you're the first person I've had to think about this with."

"Okay, so what are you thinking then?" Callie's voice sounded small, like she was afraid of the answer.

"I'm thinking that I need to get more used to the idea and I'm afraid of how your kids will react to me once they realize I'm more than just Mommy's friend. But I'm also thinking that I might just be able to do this. I love kids and your kids seem great. So, don't think this is even close to a deal breaker, okay? I want this with you and that means I want this with your kids. And if that includes a new baby, well then we'll make it work. I just might need a little time to work on adjusting to it all, so be a little patient." She didn't feel like she was explaining it all so well, but she just hoped that would make Callie feel a little more secure.

"Okay, I can live with that," Callie said, although there was just the slightest hedging to her tone. It was perhaps all Arizona could expect from her, seeing as she herself couldn't exactly be overly enthusiastic at this point in time. "It'll probably be a while until we introduce you and Yang as anything other than our friends, so there's time to get more used to the idea." Callie laughed then. "Actually, I so want to be there when Yang tries to spend time with the kids. In fact, I might need to be in case she scares them. They'll have nightmares for weeks."

Arizona chuckled quietly. "Yeah, I guess if I ever think I might have problems having kids in my relationship, I just need to remember Yang. If anyone is going to need an adjustment period, it's her."

"Seriously."

There was a brief quiet before Arizona spoke again. "I think this will all be good. Let's face it, if we last long enough and things go well enough that we're introducing me to your kids as other than just your friend, we'll probably be feeling pretty good about us and where we're going and that will help me a lot to feel more comfortable with your kids. I know it won't be easy, but like I said, I'm more than happy to work at it."

Callie twirled around in Arizona's arms and smiled brightly. "Thank you," she whispered before she began peppering Arizona with light kisses on her lips and along her jaw, whispering "thank you" between each one.

Arizona couldn't help but giggle at Callie's reaction. "Okay, okay, I get it."

Callie's head popped up. "You want me to stop?"

"Never," Arizona said with a laugh as she pulled Callie in for a deeper kiss.

The phone rang just as they were getting going, causing them to both jump. Callie scrambled to grab at the phone and looked at the number. "It's the lab," she said as she answered it, her eyes wide in fear.

"It'll be okay, no matter what," Arizona whispered as she grabbed Callie's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Hello?" Callie said as she put the phone to her ear.

Arizona watched Callie, her own heart starting to pound. While she truly was at peace with the idea of perhaps someday becoming a step parent to Callie's three children, if she were pregnant, this would be a totally different dynamic that Arizona had never truly considered—being a parent from the start. It would mean sonograms, childbirth classes, and being there in the delivery room. It both terrified and excited her. And in the next few seconds, she would know whether that would be in the cards for them.

"What's the result?" Callie asked, her voice tight. And then she suddenly let out a huge breath and collapsed. "Thank God," she whispered before sending one of those blinding smiles in Callie's direction. "Thank you," she then said louder into the phone and hung up.

"Negative?"

"Yup, negative," Callie said before laughing. "No baby!"

Arizona wrapped her arms tightly around Callie and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm so happy," she whispered in Callie's ear. And she was, although there was just a hint of disappointment lurking underneath that surprised her, but she didn't mention it to her girlfriend.

"I think this calls for a celebration. Where's the wine?"

Arizona's smile felt just a little forced as she extracted herself from Callie and moved toward her kitchen. "Red or white?"

"Red. And then get back over here because I believe we were rudely interrupted by that call."

Arizona looked back at Callie, catching a mischievous lift to her eyebrow that sent her stomach fluttering. She pushed that little bit of disappointment deep down and just relished in the feeling of how right things were when she was with Callie. "Your wish is my command."

TBC…

A/N: Okay, everyone, catastrophe averted…take a deep breath and exhale!


	33. Chapter 33

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thanks for all your comments. I was a little worried that you guys wouldn't like the whole "might be pregnant" story. It was originally going to be 2 chapters, but thanks to all the "dragging" comments and my desire not to receive grumpy mail about a pregnancy cliffhanger, I cut it down. But glad most of you seemed to like it.

This chapter is a little serious but I think it's important. And I'll make up for it in the next chapter, I promise. It's going to be pretty fun I think!

Oh and I started another story, called Letters for My Daughter. It's probably going to be dark for the beginning but I think it'll end well. Check it out if you need some angst or want to potentially get choked up!

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><p><strong>Chapter 33<strong>

Arizona smiled as she touched her glass to Callie's. "Thanks for being there with me today," she said before taking a sip of her drink. Although the bar was busy, they'd found a nice corner booth with a single curved bench where the din wasn't too overwhelming. It made for a nice intimate evening with her girlfriend after an eventful day.

Callie shrugged nonchalantly and drank from her own mixed drink. "Well, you know, that's what girlfriends do. But, seriously, Jordan should be glad she attacked you instead of me. There's no way I would have agreed to that plea."

"I guess I'm just a better person than you," Arizona said with a laugh. "But you know I couldn't send her away for more once I heard she was shot in Iraq. She probably has a horrible and untreated case of PTSDs. I'm convinced of it."

"Ah, so you're now a psychiatrist?" Callie asked with a smile.

"I did awesome in my psych rotation, thank you very much." Arizona then became more serious. "But, really, two years with court ordered psychiatric care is enough. If she's still insane at the end, there's no way they'll let her out, so it's win-win. She gets help and maybe becomes a productive member of society or she stays locked up in a psych hospital until she's better."

"I suppose. And what really matters is she's behind bars and out of our lives." Callie took another drink and then leaned closer. "Our life together," she whispered before she leaned in to give Arizona a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"I like the sound of that," Arizona said as she leaned back in her seat and just looked at Callie. She was truly gorgeous in her low cut black top with her hair piled into a purposely messy bunch at the back of her head. It was a casual side of Callie that Arizona would have never believed existed just a few months earlier. There was no one in the bar half as beautiful as her girlfriend and the thought brought a wide smile to her lips.

"What has you smiling like that?" Callie asked as she leaned forward slightly.

"You. You're just stunning, you know that?"

Even in the slightly dim light of the bar, Arizona could see the color that came to Callie's cheeks at the compliment. She took a deep breath and smiled just a little shyly. "You make me feel that way whenever you look at me. No one's ever made me feel so confident with just the look in their eyes." Her smile then grew. "And, really, I'm not sure I've ever met anyone as beautiful as you."

Arizona laughed. "Okay, now you're lying."

Callie's expression went suddenly serious. "Not at all," she said quietly. She then let out a quiet laugh. "You'd have to be, right? You got me to go gay after all."

Arizona shook her head in amusement and was about to say something snappy when she caught sight of two men heading directly in their direction. "Uh oh, watch out, vultures at six o'clock." She motioned with her head behind Callie.

"What?" She turned around and then groaned as she looked back at Arizona. "So, oh experienced one, how do we handle this?"

"I vote blow them off." She then looked up as the two men came to stand at the side of the table not blocked by the booth. "Gentlemen?"

"Good evening, ladies," the blonde man said as he smiled at both of them. "My name's Mike and this is Brendan. We just noticed you two sitting over here and thought we'd see if you'd like to have a drink with us."

"No, thank you," Callie said. "We're fine right here."

"Oh, come on," Brendan continued as he sat down on the edge of the booth on Arizona's end. "Two beautiful women like you shouldn't be alone."

Arizona rolled her eyes and scooted over closer to Callie to get away from Brendan. "Boy you are slow, huh? We're not alone. We're here together."

Now it was Mike's turn to sit down on the other side of Callie. "Still, wouldn't you two like to dance?"

Callie smiled at him and then looked over at Arizona with just a slight tip to her head. "Sure, we'd love to."

The men slid out of the booth, allowing them both to get out of the seat in the middle. Once they were both out, Callie turned to Arizona and took her hand, dragging her toward the dance floor before either of the men could make their move. Arizona laughed as Callie pulled her into her arms in the middle of the floor so the men couldn't cut in. As the two guys stared, Callie pulled her in tightly and began to sway back and forth to the beat of the music.

Arizona got lost in the dance, forgetting all about their would-be suitors, and just enjoying the feeling of being in Callie's arms, her body pressed tightly against the amazing curves of her girlfriend. Minutes passed and the world fell away as they continued to dance to the music. Finally, the song changed, and it went to a much more up-tempo beat. Arizona looked up at Callie and smiled. "Ready to get out of here?" She looked over to where the men had been just a few minutes earlier. "It looks like Dumb and Dumber have gone off in search of different targets"

"Yeah, I guess they were just slow. But I'm not complaining because I got to dance with you." She took Arizona's hand and moved toward the exit. "Want to come to my place? I bought some of that beer you like. We could continue our dance there."

They left the bar, hand in hand, and walked down the street to where they had parked. It was a beautiful night, really warm for that time of year, and crystal clear with just a sliver of the moon in the sky. Arizona took in a deep breath of the air and then placed her head on Callie's shoulder. "This is just about perfect," she said with a quiet sigh. Arizona was so content, that she didn't notice the footfalls coming up behind them until the man's voice called out from just over her shoulder.

"Hey, you two promised us a dance," he said roughly.

Arizona's eyes rolled as she stopped and turned toward the two men. "Are you guys really that thick?"

The blonde one, whatever his name was, looked a little confused. "All we wanted to do was buy you two a drink and hang out. Is there something wrong with that?"

Callie sighed as she shook her head. "We're on a date, meathead. We're not interested in having a drink with you two. We were just trying not to be rude. But since that didn't work, just go away. We don't want to hang out with you." She took Arizona's arm and pulled her around so they could continue on toward the car.

When the man grabbed Arizona's arm to stop her, everything stopped. _No. Not again._ A vision of Jordan—grabbing at her, tossing her to the floor, suffocating her—flashed in her mind and she froze as the terror hit. All she could hear was her heart pounding in her ear as she closed her eyes, willing it all to go away. _No, no, please, no. Not again. Never again._

"Arizona?" Callie's voice was quiet as she turned Arizona's face toward her, both hands on either side of the blonde's face. "Arizona, talk to me."

At first Arizona was afraid to open her eyes. She didn't want Callie to be a dream, but as the seconds ticked by and Callie's gentle voice continued to pull her back, she finally let her eyes flicker open. "Callie? What happened?"

"Yeah, it's okay. They're gone." Callie then pulled her into a tight hug, enveloping Arizona in her strong arms. "I don't think they meant anything, they were just clueless. As soon as that guy touched you and you freaked, they apologized and left."

Arizona took a deep breath, trying to calm her pounding heart, and burrowed deeply into Callie's shoulder. "I don't know what happened to me. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. Was it Jordan? Is that what you were thinking about?"

Arizona swallowed hard, feeling the burn of bile sharp in her throat. "Yeah. It was like she was grabbing at me again. Like when she pulled me back from the door and threw me to the floor. It was all just happening again."

Callie kissed the crown of Arizona's head and then whispered in her ear, "You're safe. She's in jail and you're safe. And I promise I'll try my best to make sure no one ever hurts you again." She then pulled Arizona's face up so they were looking at one another. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled. "I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise."

Arizona nodded, still not feeling particularly sure of herself and sniffled to try to stem the tears. "Thank you. Thank God it was nothing with those guys. If they had wanted to hurt us, I would have been a liability."

"Shh," Callie whispered as she kissed Arizona's forehead. "It's over and that's all that matters. Let's just go back to my house and have a quiet evening, okay? I'd like to just hold you for a while, if that's okay."

Arizona leaned up and pressed her lips gently to Callie's. "That's always okay and would be really welcome right now."

"Okay, then let's go."

* * *

><p>Callie walked Arizona over to the couch and gently pushed her down onto the cushions. "Do you want something to drink? Maybe some tea?"<p>

Arizona shook her head. "No, I'm okay."

But Callie knew she wasn't. All the way back to Callie's house, Arizona had been quiet as she stared out the passenger window. At first Callie had tried to engage her in idle chatter, but she would get just single syllable answers. Callie was afraid that the encounter on the street had undone the weeks of improvements since Arizona's attack. _Fucking idiot men._

Arizona pulled on Callie's arm and then patted the couch next to her. "Come here," she said, her voice sounding rather flat.

Callie sat down and Arizona instantly lay down so that her head was on Callie's lap. Once they were settled and Callie was gently running her fingers through Arizona's hair, she asked, "How are you?"

"I hate that I reacted like that." Arizona's voice sounded far away and sad.

"I know you do. It'll take time, Arizona. She really hurt you and not just physically." Callie took her hand and tilted Arizona's chin so that their eyes could meet. "The fact that you are doing as well as you are in just this little bit of time is really amazing. You're amazing."

A small smile played at the corner of Arizona's lips. "Thanks. I needed to hear that." Arizona seemed to relax some. "By the way, welcome to the world of jerky straight guys hitting on the lesbians. I guess that's sadly something else to check off on your to do list."

"I've had plenty of jerky guys hit on me when I was still a straight girl, so that's nothing that new."

"Well, these guys were actually pretty harmless." Arizona shrugged as she took a deep breath. "I've had a few choice encounters. That's something you need to be aware of. I don't want to make it sound like we should be afraid of it or anything, but there are a lot of assholes out there. Some are just jerks like those guys, but some are really spiteful and downright full of hatred. In Seattle it doesn't happen all that often, but it can. And we won't always be here in our little liberal Seattle bubble."

"I don't care," Callie said resolutely. There was, after all, risk in everyday life. "I won't live my life in fear of idiots and assholes. All we can do is be together and take care of one another. That's all we can do, Arizona."

"But what if I can't ever take care of you? I froze tonight, Callie. If those guys had gotten violent, I would have been useless." Arizona's eyes squeezed tightly shut but not before a single tear escaped and slid down her cheek. "Fucking Jordan," she whispered harshly under her breath.

"Arizona, you suffered a horrible trauma and it's understandable that you froze. I told you I'd protect you and I will. I'll protect you until you can protect yourself, until you can protect me, too. You aren't some superwoman, Arizona. I don't expect you to be." She let out a quiet sigh when it didn't seem like Arizona was truly hearing what she had to say. "Would it make you feel better if we just stayed home until you feel more sure of yourself? If we don't put ourselves out there—"

"No," Arizona said as her eyes snapped open. "No, we can't hide away just because of this."

"Okay," Callie said with just a hint of question in her voice, hoping Arizona would elaborate.

Arizona sat up and turned to Callie, taking her hand in her own. "You're right." She chuckled quietly. "Don't get used to me telling you you're right, because I'm not good at admitting that. But here you are. I think I need to just work harder with my therapist. And I know it'll take time. I just really hate that."

"I know, baby. I know. But it will get better with time. All wounds heal eventually."

Arizona's laughter was dry. "Well if they don't kill you."

"And she didn't. You survived. You fought, you bought yourself time so Mark could get to you, and you survived." Callie gently placed her forehead against Arizona's and reached up to stroke her cheek. "You are surviving every day and I'll be here with you through it all, okay? Through it all."

Arizona gently kissed Callie. "Thank you. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"You?" Callie chuckled against Arizona's lips. "You're awesome."

Arizona's laughter was suddenly bright. "Did you just call me awesome?"

"Super duper awesome," Callie replied with a big grin.

Arizona gave Callie another quick kiss. "You've been hanging out in the peds ward too much, haven't you? You're picking up peds speak."

"Peds speak? I wasn't aware that was a thing."

"Oh, it's such a thing," Arizona said as she sat back to regard Callie with eyes sparkling with amusement. "I lo—" She stopped suddenly and her eyes dropped for a moment before looking back up. "I love it when you're a little childish. It's adorable."

"A little childish?"

"I meant that in the positive sense. Very, very positive."

"Good," Callie said as she gave Arizona another quick kiss. "Now can we just enjoy the rest of the evening? We need to remember that today was a good day. Jordan's in jail. You're putting her behind you, even if there are some bumps in the road. And most importantly I get to spend the rest of evening with my super awesome girlfriend."

"That last part sounds like the best part of the day," Arizona said as she wrapped her arms around Callie and pulled her back so they were lying entwined on the couch.

"Yup," Callie said as she placed a simple kiss on Arizona's neck before snuggling into her embrace. "Definitely the best."

TBC


	34. Chapter 34

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thanks for the comments folks. It really helps keep me motivated. Although please have some patience while I try to get my apartment packed for the move in less than 4 weeks at the same time I'll be working like 9-11 hour days. My time will be tight. Not to mention I've got the Season 9 bug bad and can't stop writing about it.

Speaking of, how about that season premiere, huh? You probably can all tell by the way that I write, that I loved it (even if I wasn't surprised by a single thing). Lots of good angsty Calzona stuff coming I think. Anyway, it's got me motivated to write this chapter to be a little happier. Hope you all enjoy it. It's full of some fun awkwardness I hope.

Oh and we jump far ahead in their story…the divorce (and the sex) is getting much closer!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 34<strong>

Arizona knocked on Callie's office door and waited, but there was no sound from inside. She checked her watch and frowned. _Okay, I'm ten minutes late and she's not even on the schedule for today. Where the hell is she?_ She reached down on a lark and tried the door handle, which turned. "Um, okay," she drew out as she pushed the door open.

When she walked in, Arizona had to smile, because Callie was sitting at her desk, incredibly engrossed in something on her laptop with big noise cancelling headphones on. "Callie?" Arizona waved but got no reaction. "Hey, Callie?" she tried louder but still no answer. With a slight chuckle, Arizona shut the door behind her and locked it, as she had come to do out of habit over the last two months. She then took a few steps toward Callie and leaned down to try to get into Callie's line of sight. She waved and yelled out, "Calliope!"

Callie jumped and slammed the top of her laptop shut. "Um, hi," she stammered as she quickly manipulated the volume control on the headphone cord before taking them off and leaving them around her neck. "Sorry, was just getting some work done."

Arizona was quite sure Callie hadn't been working. In fact she had a sneaking idea that whatever Callie was doing, it was something that would be as far from work as possible. "You work with headphones on now?"

Callie waved as if it was nothing, but the bright blush that not only colored her face but went all the way down her neck told otherwise. "It was drudgery work, so I thought some music would help."

"And you need to wear headphones, why?" Arizona came around the desk and leaned up against it so that her left leg was right against Callie's. "I listen to music in my office all the time. The walls of this hospital may have ears, but they're pretty thick."

"Well, you never know, and I like to listen to loud music," Callie offered, leaning back a little and not doing a very good impression of someone who was nonchalant.

"Uh, huh. Okay, so what were you really doing?" She reached over and tried to open the laptop, but Callie slammed her hand on the top to keep it shut. "Yeah, so not working," Arizona added with a broad grin and an amused twinkle in her eyes.

"Well, maybe I'm doing something for you?" Callie tried again.

"And that causes you to blush clear down into your cleavage? What are you doing for me?" Arizona held up her hand. "No, wait, don't even try to come up with something."

Callie pouted. "But it is for you. In a way."

Arizona chuckled as she reached down and pulled the headphone jack out of the laptop. Instantly there were the sounds of a woman moaning coming from the computer. Arizona's smirk grew as she quickly plugged the cord back in. "You watching porn is for me? And, please tell me it's lesbian." She had to admit she was incredibly amused, intrigued, and definitely turned on to think of Callie sitting in her office watching lesbian porn.

Callie fell back into her chair and put her hands over her face as she groaned. She then separated two fingers and peeked one eye out from between them. "Okay, fine, you caught me. And yes, Arizona, of course it's lesbian porn. I'm doing research."

"Ah," Arizona said as she began to understand a little more. Of course Callie would feel a little unsure of herself, especially with the divorce proceedings—and the resulting weekend alone together they would share—less than two weeks away. "You know you can ask me, right? We can talk about anything you want to ahead of time."

"That just seems, kind of, I don't know, weird." Callie dropped her hands from her face and opened her eyes to look at Arizona. "You're not like anti-porn are you? Like you're not totally mad that I'd watch it to figure some things out?"

Arizona shook her head with a quiet laugh. "No, I'm not anti-porn. Just please tell me you found some decent lesbian stuff? I mean, like, no fake boobs and three inch long fingernails and obviously fake orgasms. That stuff's made for men and so totally phony."

"No," Callie added quickly with a shake of her head. "I made sure I found a lesbian site. No fake boobs or really long fingernails. I mean, ouch," Callie said, her face scrunching up in mock pain.

"Yeah, my general rule of thumb, and maybe that's a bad pun, but I won't sleep with anyone who has long nails. Which I guess means you're the perfect girlfriend since we have to keep our nails short for surgery."

"Yup, that is a nice coincidence, huh?"

Callie smiled brightly then and Arizona's heart skipped a beat. _She is just so truly amazing_, she thought for probably the hundredth time just that day. "So, okay, I'll leave you to your research. Although please tell me you aren't streaming over the hospital network. If Ellis finds out…"

"No, I downloaded it all at home onto my own laptop," she said as she tapped it.

"Oh, good, maybe I can borrow that laptop later," Arizona said with a toothy grin. "Or we could watch together," she suggested before she really had a chance to think about how incredibly torturous that would be to her libido.

"No, no, no," Callie replied. "There is no way I'm watching with you until after we have sex, okay? That would just be too damned dangerous."

"True." Arizona then let out a small breath. "But, seriously, if you do have any questions or worries or anything, you can talk to me. I'm more than happy to help. Hell, I'll even tell you about my slightly embarrassing first time, hot German teacher and all."

"A German teacher? Okay, that might just be worth the price of admission."

Arizona stood up from where she had perched on the desk and gave Callie her best flirtatious smile. "Bring some of that wine we had last week to my place tonight and I'll be happy to tell you all about it." When Callie didn't answer, but instead just stared up at her with those big brown eyes, she laughed. She then looked down at her watch and sighed. "Well, it seems we've missed lunch with all this…" She waved her hand around absently. "And sadly I have surgery in twenty minutes. I need to go change." She leaned down and gave Callie a brief kiss before grabbing the headphones around her neck and starting to place them back on her ears. "You get back to your research, baby," she said as she let the foam pads conform to Callie's head. With a wink she turned and left Callie's office, stopping only for a moment at the door to glance back to find Callie watching her intently.

Once outside she fanned herself. "Okay, well that was not what I was expecting." She then laughed at herself and shook her head, trying to get her libido back in check before the surgery. _But tonight…well tonight I'm going to find out exactly what she has questions about. This could be a really interesting conversation. Really interesting._

* * *

><p>Callie watched as Arizona poured them each a glass of the merlot she had brought over. For a moment Arizona looked like she was about to push one glass over to Callie, but then with a chuckle she picked both glasses up and walked out of the kitchen and past Callie's seat at the breakfast bar.<p>

"Hey," Callie said as Arizona walked away. "Where are you going with my wine?"

Arizona stopped and turned back around. The corner of her lips turned up in a slightly mischievous grin. "I thought we might take this to the bedroom."

Callie felt her lungs catch and she coughed. "Um, what? We, um, we've got like twelve days, Arizona."

Arizona laughed and shook her head. "I just thought we could talk. It's easier to cuddle on the bed."

Callie smiled brightly at Arizona's suggestion. "Are you sure that's all you have on your mind?"

"Of course," Arizona said as she turned and walked off toward her bedroom. "Well, maybe a little making out later, too," she said over her shoulder.

With a low chuckle, Callie followed her into the master bedroom. Arizona was already climbing onto the bed gingerly as she tried not to spill the two glasses of red wine. She laughed when she saw Callie. "Yeah, so I'm not the most coordinated person around. Get over here and grab one of these, will ya?"

Callie kicked off her shoes and then climbed up onto the bed and took one of the glasses from Arizona. "Better?" She took a sip of the wine as Arizona just gave her a little smile before taking her own drink. Callie then took the other glass from Arizona's hand and placed them both on the nightstand. "I'd rather not end up wearing your merlot."

"Damn, see my plan was to spill it on that top of yours and then you'd have to take it off in a rush so you could soak it in cold water." She gave a mock frown but her blue eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Ha, see I knew you just wanted me out of my clothes," Callie said as she played along. She then lay down on her side and propped her head up on one hand. "Okay, you've got me in your bed. So now what?"

"Oh you are a little bit of a tease, aren't you?" Arizona moved into a position mirroring Callie but facing her. She reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "So how did your research go?"

Callie rolled onto her back with a loud exhale. "I knew you wouldn't let it drop. You're amused by it all, aren't you?"

Arizona moved closer and looked down at Callie, her blue eyes incredibly sincere. "Not at all. I know if I were in your shoes, I would be nervous and maybe a little scared. I remember how nervous and scared I was leading up to the first woman I slept with. Hell, if I'm honest, except for the one-nighters, I've always been nervous and scared when I care about the woman. And I care about you. A lot."

They'd been dating for weeks now and yet neither of them had opened themselves up by telling the other "I love you". It wasn't that Callie didn't feel it. She'd known she was in love with Arizona almost from that first night in the hospital after Arizona's attack. And she was virtually positive Arizona felt the same. Her blue eyes just screamed it at times like this. Neither of them had simply ventured into that territory, although Callie knew it wouldn't be long, and she actually thought about saying it right then and there, to take that leap. But since she suspected they were about to have a conversation that would once again have her blushing from head to toe, she didn't want to waste it on this evening. Tonight they could talk about fears and desires. There would always be tomorrow for the I-love-yous. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. So I guess we get to be nervous and scared together."

"We do. And I'm really serious. We can talk about this. I'm not sure that a lot of couples ever really talk about sex other than to suggest having some."

"That sounds about right. Owen and I never talked about it." Maybe their sex life would have been better if they had, but now it didn't really matter. What mattered was she wanted to make sure that her sex life with Arizona would be healthy and happy. "So, you promised me you'd tell me about your first time," she suggested. "You said something about a German teacher."

"Yeah, Elke," Arizona said as her eyes took on a slightly far away sheen. She seemed to be lost in her memory for a moment and then she laughed. "I was so not smooth. I mean, I thought I was being smooth. I was only seventeen at the time and you know how teenagers think they know everything."

"Seventeen, huh? I pegged you for more like a sixteen girl."

"Yes, seventeen. I mean I was barely seventeen. It was about three weeks after my birthday." Arizona shrugged a little. "You have to realize that I think especially back before being gay was so widely accepted, it probably took a lot of us a little longer to figure things out and to find other gay people to date or have sex with. It's not like there were dating websites back then or anything. I got lucky that I found Elke."

"Yeah, I guess it wouldn't have been that easy. Okay, so I want to hear about this not-smooth first time so that I can feel better about any awkwardness I feel."

Arizona bit at her lip as if trying to hide a smile. "Okay, but only because I want you to feel less nervous and scared. I guess it's not that bad, but boy was it embarrassing at the time." She let out a deep breath. "Okay, so we were living in Germany. We had been stationed there for about a year and I was trying to pick up the language. We had German class at the base high school, but it wasn't enough. I had my heart set on testing out of the language requirement in college so I could take more science classes. So, I went to the local adult night school for some additional classes and the first teacher I had was Elke. She was like your stereotypical German—tall, blonde, blue eyes. And she had the best sense of humor."

"Okay, that's not real stereotypical. Aren't Germans all sourpusses?"

"No, they aren't," Arizona answered with a jab to Callie's side. "A lot of them are really fun. You just need to get past all the long formal titles and such when you first meet them. Besides, Elke was young. She was only 21 at the time, and the younger Germans tend to be a lot more relaxed. But, anyway, she was really gorgeous and nice and damn did I have a huge crush on her. Here I was, I hadn't even kissed a girl yet, and yet I was head over heels for this teacher. And when she started taking a special interest in me, I was on cloud nine."

"Okay, come on Robbins, cut to the chase. How did you get together?"

"Long story short, we started going out for coffee after class and one time we got to talking and I missed the last bus out to the base. She gave me a lift, but she wasn't allowed on the base, so we stopped in this parking lot just down the road to say goodbye. I don't know what came over me, but I just kissed her."

"Just like that, you kissed her? Did you have any clue that she might be interested in you?"

Arizona shook her head. "Not at all. I mean, okay, I thought she might, but I also knew that it was probably just me being a gushing teenager. Still, I just did it without thinking. And then I panicked and started to leave, but she pulled me back and kissed me back. My inexperienced self remembers her as an amazing kisser, but I probably could have kissed a wet sock and thought it was earthshattering." She chuckled. "So, that started our illicit affair. Of course, I couldn't tell anyone about it. She was my teacher and four years older. I'm sure my father would have freaked. And even though it was just a night school class, Elke couldn't be found out either or she would have lost her job. So, we just started meeting up on the sly."

Callie bit at her lip and reached out to run her finger along Arizona's jaw. "You were hot for teacher and she was hot for you, huh?"

"Yeah," Arizona said and then she laughed. "I must have a thing for teachers between Elke and Sandy."

"Hm, I think we could do something with that someday."

"Oh? Will you dress up like a teacher? Maybe put your hair in a bun and wear a pair of glasses?" Arizona clearly was thinking about that. "Um, yeah, let's put that on the to-do list, okay?"

"Will you dress up, too? It's only fun if we both do it. You could go all Catholic school girl with pony tails." As the image went through her mind, Callie felt her stomach clench with desire. "Will you please do that? Please?"

Arizona let out a bark of laughter but there was a twinkle in her eye that was more than amusement. She lifted her eyebrow in that way she had when she was being suggestive and her voice was lower than usual. "I'd love to dress up for you," she said quietly and then she smiled shyly and shook her head.

Callie swallowed hard as she felt her mouth go dry. If they kept this up, tonight would be beyond torturous. Not that she really expected anything different, because after all they were lying on Arizona's bed talking about sex, but still she didn't need to make it that much worse. "Good," she said, but her voice cracked and she laughed at herself. "Yeah, um, I'd like that, but I think you've got a story to get back to."

Arizona's laughter was softer this time. "Yeah, that was getting a little mean on the mental images, huh?"

Callie's head fell forward in relief as Arizona put words to her thoughts. "Yes, because I swear it's hard not to think about getting to touch you the way I want."

A flush came to Arizona's cheeks as she reached out and cupped Callie's face. "You aren't the only one." She stared into Callie's eyes for a moment before a small smile touched the corner of her lips. "So, where was I?"

Callie had to blink to chase away the images that were still nibbling at the edge of her mind. There would be plenty of time for those fantasies later—and she was sure she'd definitely enjoy them—but now she wanted to hear Arizona's story. Her girlfriend was making herself vulnerable by telling her this, and Callie needed to be present for her, to really hear what she had to say. "You and Elke were having a secret affair."

"Well, if you can call a few stolen kisses an affair. That's all it was at the beginning. And I admit that I was a bit of an insecure teenager so I lied to her and told her I'd had a girlfriend, but we had broken up. I didn't want this woman in her twenties to just think I was some little kid. So, when we finally had a chance to spend an evening together while my parents were away and I was home alone, I tried to pretend that sex was old hat, even though I was terrified and probably sweating profusely." She laughed. 'Yeah, I know, sexy huh?"

Callie couldn't help but think about what Arizona must have been like at seventeen. "I bet you were amazing, even if you think you were all awkward."

"Maybe, but I did get found out. See, the thing I was most nervous about was the oral sex. I'd tried to read up as much as I could, but that was back before there was much on the internet. So, I had a small idea of what I was doing, but I was still pretty unsure. And the one thing I couldn't prepare for at all was the taste. I'd heard some of the boys at school talking about it and that was what they'd all said, that they didn't like the taste, but if it allowed them to get to home base they were willing to do it. So, I was afraid I wouldn't like that."

Callie understood that. It was certainly something she had thought about in the last few weeks. "You're telling me this in case I'm worried about that, huh?"

Arizona bit at her lip and the color in her cheeks got that much redder. "Well, better to cover all my bases. I figured you might be thinking about it."

It was hard to admit her worries about sex with Arizona. Deep down she did truly believe it would be amazing and hopefully life altering, but then part of her would realize she was building it up to an experience it could never live up to and the doubts would creep in. "Maybe just a little," she whispered.

"It's okay, you know," Arizona whispered as she put her finger under Callie's chin and lifted it so their eyes could meet. "Like I said, been there, done that."

Callie let out a quiet puff of laughter. "You're stalling, aren't you?"

Now Arizona laughed. "No, not really. Okay, so basically I wanted a little idea of what I was getting into before I went down on her. So, I basically used my finger and then tried to be all sexy by licking my finger." She demonstrated the attempt at being sexy, but it just came off as over the top.

Callie couldn't help but laugh. "Did you make that face?"

Arizona joined her laughter as she nodded. "Yeah, I think I did."

"Well, I have to give you credit for figuring out a way to get the answers you needed, but I can bet Elke saw through it, huh?" Callie reached up and ran her finger along Arizona's lips. "That was pretty unsmooth."

Arizona kissed Callie's finger and then shrugged. "I was young and Elke was good about it. She called me out on it, but in a humorous way. She got me to laugh and that really helped break the nervousness." She smiled. "I definitely learned that laughter can be an important part of sex. It's important to have fun sometimes and not just be all serious."

"It is. So, did you like it?"

Arizona's eyes went wide and she smiled brightly. "Of course! Would I be lying here with you, telling you this, if I didn't?"

"Okay, good point." Callie took Arizona's hand and let their fingers intertwine. "Thanks for sharing that, by the way. It's good to know you've been there."

"You're welcome. And if you feel the need to steal a little of my awkward technique when the time comes, I won't be offended. I may chuckle a little, but like I said," she began before pausing and pulling Callie's hand up to her lips for a kiss, "I appreciate a little humor in my sex life."

Callie pushed Arizona on to her back and then rolled half on top of her. She leaned in so that their lips were only a few inches apart and they could still look into each other's eyes. "I'll keep your technique in mind, but I don't think it'll matter, because I just want to fill my senses with you, Arizona Robbins. I want to see every inch of you, feel every dip and curve. I want to hear each hitch of your breath and moan." She then moved her lips around to Arizona's ear. "I want to smell you and taste you." She could feel Arizona's breathing suddenly speed up. "I want all of you, Arizona."

"Callie," Arizona warned lowly. "Two weeks, remember?"

Callie let out a deep breath and then laughed to force the tension she was feeling herself to dissipate. "Okay, good point. It's only a little longer, right?"

"Have you given any thoughts about it?"

"Um, did you not just hear me describe everything I want from you? That all comes from much fantasizing, believe me." Callie had done little but think about it, whenever she was alone in her office or lying in bed at night. In the shower, in the car, scrubbing in for surgeries, grocery shopping. There were few times when she was alone that she didn't think about all the ways that first time with Arizona could go. "Yeah, I've given it a lot of thought."

Arizona let out the quietest of nervous laughs. "Me, too. Would you tell me how you'd like it to go? I don't want to put too much pressure on this, on us. But if I can give you your fantasy, I will." She paused for a split second and then began speaking in a rush. "I mean, I don't need to know every detail of your fantasies, but just a general mood. Were you thinking sweet and romantic or hot and pressed up against a wall, or something in between? I mean obviously we can do it all eventually, but for that very first time, do you have a preference?" She laughed again, this time a little louder, as she closed her eyes and shook her head. "God, this all sounds really stupid, doesn't it?"

Callie couldn't help but love Arizona just a little more in that moment. She could sometimes be a bit of a nervous mess, none more than when it came to her attempts at making Callie feel comfortable or special. It was so incredibly endearing. "It's not stupid. It means a lot to me that you would ask, actually. I mean, you could just assume or we could be all awkward in the moment because we don't know what the other wants. And this isn't just about me, Arizona. You should get a say, too, you know."

Arizona rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean, Calliope. I want you to feel as comfortable as you can."

"I know," Callie said before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on Arizona's lips. "Okay, well my vote is more toward romantic. Every day I think more and more that I want you to be the one for me, that we'll work out and last. And if we're lucky enough to have found that with one another, than maybe neither of us will ever have another first time, right? So I want to savor it." She smiled a little crookedly with a twinkle to her eye. "I want to savor all those senses that I said before. I want a chance to remember it all. Is that okay with you?"

Arizona smiled sweetly as she reached up to tuck some hair behind Callie's hair before cupping her cheek. "I was hoping you'd say that actually. Okay, so can I make the plans for that weekend? I have an idea and I would like it to be a surprise for you."

"A surprise, huh? So does that mean we're going somewhere?"

"Yes. I don't want to have to worry about the outside world getting in the way." She leaned up and kissed Callie gently. "I want there to be nothing but you and me."

Callie sighed and lay her head down on Arizona's shoulder, wrapping her arm around her stomach. "That sounds so perfect."

* * *

><p>TBC<p> 


	35. Chapter 35

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** I'm glad the last chapter was a nice bit of light in the darkness that is Calzona right now. And, no, we won't be jumping 2 weeks forward quite yet. Sorry, I still have a few things that I think need to be covered before the story ends…and the story ends once they've slept together. That's just what a traditional first time story is in my book and I'm a traditional sort of girl. The climax is, well, the climax!

But I'll give you a little spoiler. Chapter 39 is currently set to be the chapter you've all been pining for, okay? So, really, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Humor me for a few more chapters, okay? Besides, I suck at writing sex scenes, so be careful what you wish for! It might just be an awkward mess!

And I promise to try to get a chapter up a week (with the exception of the week that I'm actually moving to my new place toward the end of the month). If you haven't noticed, I've been writing other stuff, too, so it's hard to fit everything in. But, really, by mid-November at the latest, okay? I know…I'm just such a tease!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 35<strong>

Callie walked into the house and let out a long sigh, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes. It had been hard to drop the kids off with Owen's mother, more so than normal, but she had to, because she had a really early appointment with her lawyer and the daycare wouldn't be open yet. It certainly didn't help that their father was working an overnight shift so the kids probably felt they were being abandoned yet again. And when Allegra had cried and thrown a fit, which had caused the boys to join in, it had ripped at her heart. It seemed like it was all or nothing with them, and really Callie couldn't blame them. After all it had to feel like they only had each other to truly lean on. Everything else was so up in the air and uncertain, it had to feel horrible to such young minds.

She walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer, laughing at herself for choosing that as opposed to her more normal wine. _Arizona is totally rubbing off on me._ She found the bottle opener and popped the top, taking a long drink from the bottle. "Not bad," she said with a shrug as she softly padded over to the couch for a long night of chilling out. It seemed so odd to be alone in the house, but with the kids at their grandmother's and Arizona working an overnight, she had no choice.

She had just dozed off in front of the TV when there was a knock at the door. She rubbed at her eyes and tried to realize what had woken her up when there was another forceful knock at the door. "What the hell?" She got up and went out to the front door, her eyes going wide when she saw who was on the other side of the glass panel. "Daddy?"

As much as she felt the nauseous twist in her stomach, she still rushed to the door to open it. "Hi, Daddy," she said, trying to sound happy. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

Carlos had a serious expression on his face as he pushed past Callie and into the house. "I came to speak with you," he said as he took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack by the front door. When he turned to her, his dark eyes were sad. "Ellis called your mother and told her something that didn't seem right. I wanted to come and clear this all up, because what she said…" He shook his head and there seemed to be tears building in his eyes, which totally unnerved Callie. "We need to talk."

Callie's nausea increased, because she had a horrible feeling that she knew exactly what Ellis had told her mother. _Oh God. Mom. I can only imagine what she thought._ "Let's go sit down," she said, feeling even more off kilter when he brushed past her again without so much as a hug or kiss. She followed him down the hall and into the family room. "Do you want something to drink? Coffee or wine?"

Carlos went and sat down on the couch before he reached out to pick up her half-finished bottle of beer. "So, you're drinking beer now? Or did I interrupt something?" His words were laced with a bitterness she hadn't heard all that often from him.

Callie sighed as she reached over and grabbed the bottle of beer from him. She took a drink and then walked out to the kitchen to pour the remainder of it down the drain. She finally turned to him. "Yes, I'm drinking beer now. Is there something wrong with beer? Is it too middle class for you?" She came over and plopped down on the loveseat and sighed. "Okay, so just say it."

"Are you dating someone already? I mean, Calliope, you aren't even divorced yet and then we hear…" He swallowed hard with a sour look on his face. "Are you dating a woman?"

"Thank you for not pussyfooting around." Callie leaned forward over her knees and tried to fix her father with a steady gaze. She needed to seem confident with him, not like the little girl his forceful personality could often draw out of her. "I am seeing a woman. Her name is Arizona Robbins. She's a pediatric surgeon at the hospital and she's amazing, Daddy. For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I've found someone who respects me and understands me. She's maybe the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"What about your children? Aren't they the best thing that's ever happened to you?"

"Yes, of course," Callie said, internally kicking herself for falling into the trap. "That's not what I meant. You know my kids are the most important thing in my life. They always come first."

"Then why are you doing this? Don't you think that dating this…this…this woman will hurt them? They need a father and a mother, not some perverted sinful woman trying to play daddy." His face was turning redder with each hateful word.

"Perverted and sinful? Really?" It wasn't news to Callie that her father was rather old-fashioned when it came to his beliefs. He'd grown up in a rather conservative Catholic church and had lived in a rather insulated community where those traditional beliefs were the basis of the very identity of its members. But, still, it wasn't like he wasn't educated, hadn't traveled the world. He certainly had gay employees and had worked business deals with people of all stripes. It just hurt her that he would be so blatant with his homophobia and it set off her temper as she thought more and more about it. "First of all, Arizona is not going to be playing daddy. I'm not sure what stereotypes are going through your head, but there's no guy and no girl in our relationship. We're just two women who happen to be attracted to one another. It's not perverted or sinful, Daddy. To me it's incredibly beautiful. She's beautiful. And I love her, more than I've ever loved someone I've dated before. If you would just meet her—"

"Meet her? You expect me to break bread with her? You expect me to approve of this?" He stood up and walked toward the kitchen, his entire body humming with tension. He then whirled back around and pointed at her. "I raised you better than this, Calliope. You know this is a sin. You know you'll go to Hell for this."

Now Callie was furious. She didn't often fight with her father, hated to do it in fact, but she needed to stand up for her life and stand up for Arizona. This was her father and he should love her no matter what, but it seemed like that might not be the case. She took a deep breath and stood up before moving over to him. "You raised me to be someone who stands up for what she believes in. You raised me to be someone who loves fiercely and who doesn't see people just for what they have on the outside. I wasn't looking to fall in love with a woman, Daddy. But circumstances brought her into my life and there was just something there that I couldn't deny. I tried. My God, did I try. I'm not sure how I can explain this to you, but it feels so right. For the first time in my life, there's someone in my life who makes me feel special and supports me and is there for me when I need them. What more could I ask for? I mean, she has to be special, right? I've never been attracted to a woman before and now suddenly I can't imagine not having her in my life."

Carlos came over and grasped Callie's shoulders. He shook his head sadly and she could see more tears in his eyes. "I can't accept this, Calliope. This isn't who you are. What did she do to you?"

"What did she do to me? What, do you think she has some crazy lesbian magic wand that can just make people gay? She didn't do anything to me, unless you count that she's been there for me, she's been incredibly supportive and been an amazing friend. She's turning into a true partner for me, someone I could share my life with. And she loves me. I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me."

"Why can't you go on some dates with some nice men? You don't think there isn't a nice man who can love you? Why do you have to choose to be with a woman? I don't understand you, Calliope." He shook his head almost in disgust. "You say you're the daughter I raised, but you're not. I didn't raise this."

"You can't even say it, can you?"

"No, I can't." He then turned on his heels and stalked back toward the front door.

Callie almost let him leave, but she felt a sudden panic, as if their relationship could possibly be over if she let him walk out the door. "Daddy, wait!" She ran after him, reaching him only as he began to put on his jacket. "Please, don't leave like this."

He wheeled on her and said, "The only way I'm not leaving is if you say you will give up this farce of a relationship."

She shook her head in disbelief. "I can't."

"Then I don't have a daughter." He shook his head and then ripped open the front door and stalked out, leaving her standing alone in the foyer.

Shocked minutes went by before the tears began to fall.

* * *

><p>Arizona walked toward her office, rubbing at her eyes wearily. It had been a long day and promised to be an even longer night. The only bright spot of the whole long shift was that she was now done with her final rounds and she could just get some paperwork done and be available for any consults or emergencies that would arise. First she was looking forward to catching a short nap on the couch in her office.<p>

As she went into her office, she stopped short when she found Callie doubled over on her couch, crying. "Callie? What's wrong?" she asked as she quickly went over and threw her arms around her. "Hey, talk to me."

Callie sat up and looked at her with tear-swollen eyes. "My father came to see me."

"Okay," Arizona said slowly. "What happened?"

"Ellis told him about us," Callie spat out.

_Oh shit!_ Arizona pulled Callie into her arms again. "And he didn't take it well, I guess."

"Not at all." She started shaking in Arizona's arms as sobs overtook her again. "He disowned me. He said he doesn't have a daughter anymore."

"What?" Arizona couldn't believe that Callie's father, who she always said she was incredibly close to, wouldn't work through this with her. "He just needs some time, Callie. It probably hurt to hear it from the chief and not from you. Just give him some time."

Callie sniffled hard and wiped at her eyes as she sat up and looked at Arizona. "You don't know him. He's stubborn, really stubborn. I mean my parents are so traditional, so set in their ways, and so terrified about how other people think about them, that they have even kept up a lie for 30 years, even from our own family, even from my sister." She took a deep breath and let it out. "My sister, Aria, is not my father's child. My mother was raped at work by one of the partners in her firm when she was a young associate. He cornered her late at night and forced himself on her. But they didn't want anyone to know that. Like I said, my sister doesn't even know who her biological father is, that's how much they've hidden it. I only know because I heard them arguing when I was six and I remember it. So, I'm part of the lie."

"My God, that's horrible that that happened to your mother."

Callie nodded as she wiped at her eyes. "Sometimes she has these shadows in her eyes and my sister has always been a little bit of an outcast. They just can't help but treat her differently. It's not that my parents don't love her, it's just she's a horrible reminder of something that is so unthinkable in their world. They're such devout Catholics, and trust me in the Miami Cuban community that's pretty much required, especially in their age group. They're leaders in the community and they take all that very seriously. Anything that tarnishes their image of the perfect family is a threat to all of that. And having a daughter who is suddenly gay is about as bad as it gets. I'm sure they'd rather sing about the rape from the rooftops than have people whispering in the alleys about me."

Arizona reached up and took Callie's face in her hands. "They'll come around, baby. They just need time. They love you and they'll continue to love you. It's just got to be hard to suddenly have your 36-year old daughter in a relationship with a woman. I'm sure they're just in shock."

"Maybe," Callie said, but she didn't sound convinced.

"Look, just give them some time. I know it's hard and I know it hurts. I can't understand how much it hurts, but I can see it on your face." She leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I'll be here with you through this, okay? I'm with you all the way."

"Thanks." Callie took a deep breath and she seemed to get a better control over her feelings. She then leaned forward and brushed her lips against Arizona's. "I'm not going to let him bully me into anything," she said softly. "I know that this is right, Arizona. I'm in this with you, no matter what my parents think."

Arizona let out a deep breath of relief, although the little voice in the back of her head made her worry just a bit. Callie was close to her parents, especially to her father, and to think that she could walk away from them if need be just to keep their relationship, well that seemed like it might be easier said than done. "We'll get through this together, okay? I promise."

Callie nodded and then stood up. "We'll get through this." She smiled down at Arizona and took her hand to pull her to standing. She then wrapped her arms around Arizona and rested her head in the curve of Arizona's neck. "I should get going. I just needed to see you for a minute and remind myself what I really want."

"Any time," Arizona whispered as she kissed Callie's temple. "You going to be okay getting home?"

"Sure. I've got to see my lawyer first thing in the morning so I really should get home and get some sleep." She tilted Arizona's face up and gave her a long, lingering kiss. "Are we still on for tomorrow night?"

"Definitely. Now go get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

Callie stepped out of Arizona's arms and grabbed her purse from the couch. "And you have a good night. Got any good cases?"

"Nope. It's nothing but paperwork and keeping an eye on the tiny humans."

"They're lucky to have you." Callie placed a quick kiss on her cheek and then walked over toward the door. She stopped when she got there and turned back around to look at Arizona. "I'll talk to the chief tomorrow, too. I need to know what she's heard and what she told my parents."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I need to do this myself. She's my mom's friend, but she's also my boss. And she needs to know that I'm not 12 and she can't go tattling on me to her." She chuckled dryly. "You know, I always thought it might be a stupid idea to come work for Ellis since she and my mother are friends, and there have been times I've regretted it. So many times. But now I couldn't be gladder, because I met you here."

"I'm glad you did, too," Arizona said with a bright smile. "Just like I'm now glad that things happened the way they did with Sandy. Otherwise I'd be at Hopkins and I never would have met you." She walked over toward her desk. "Sweet dreams."

"You too. Well, when you finally get to sleep."

Arizona laughed quietly as Callie waved and left the office. As soon as the door closed, Arizona sobered as she felt anger thrum through her. "How dare you, Carlos Torres? She loves you and all she's ever asked for is your love in return." She thought about what she could do to make this feel better. "I just need you to know how amazing she is, how this doesn't change who she is." But she wasn't sure how to do it.

Then a thought hit her and she quickly left her office, her feet beating rapidly down the hallway as she made a beeline for the emergency room. When she finally got there, she looked around, and smiled just the slightest when she noticed the tall form of Owen Hunt. "Dr. Hunt, can I talk to you?"

"Um, Dr. Robbins, sure. What's this about?"

She motioned toward an empty exam room and walked in ahead of him. When he was finally through the door, she turned to him. "I know we haven't talked much, well, ever really. But especially since Callie and I have become involved with one another. I'm not sure how you really feel about that, but Callie told me you said you support us."

"I do," he said as he leaned back against the exam room door, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. "I just want her to be happy. She'll always be my friend and more importantly she'll always be the mother of my children. I want her to be happy."

"I'm glad you said that. Her father came by tonight. Seems Ellis told her mother that Callie is dating me and her father is less than pleased."

Owen let out a blast of harsh laughter. "That doesn't surprise me."

"Well, I want to see what I can do to smooth things over. I figure maybe if I could just let him know that she's still the same woman, that she's wonderful and amazing and, God, I don't even have the words to describe how amazing she is. But I just want to let him know a few things. Maybe it won't help, maybe it'll make things worse, but I feel like it's the honorable thing to do. I need to stick up for her if I can."

Owen seemed to contemplate the thought for a moment and then he nodded. "It might work. Carlos is a very honorable person. He respects people who do the right thing, especially when it's hard. What can I do to help?"

"Do you have his email address? His personal one? Or if not that, then I guess a phone number would do. I'd rather be able to write something, so I can better control what I have to say, but either works."

Owen pulled his cellphone out of his lab coat pocket and scrolled through the listings. "I'll email you his contact information. I have both his email and his cell number. Just don't tell him where you got it. I have to put up with him for the rest of my life." He fiddled with his phone for a moment and Arizona almost instantly felt her own phone vibrate in her pocket. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Arizona shook her head and smiled at him. "No, that's enough. And thank you. I imagine we'll have to get to know one another a little better as time goes on, huh? I'm just glad you are supportive."

Owen took the two steps to close the distance between them and put his hand on her shoulder. "I like you, Robbins. That makes it a lot easier."

Arizona smiled brightly. "I like you, too. Maybe we can use first names?"

"Sounds good. So, Arizona, if there's anything I can do, then let me know."

"I'll be sure to ask, Owen. Now I better go get some work done so I can settle my nerves down before I write one of the most important emails of my life."

"Good luck. Carlos Torres can be a little intimidating, but once you get to know him, he's really a big teddy bear. Now, Lucia is a bit of another story. She seems like a teddy bear but is really the one you need to fear."

"Thanks for the head's up."

She let out a deep breath after Owen left the exam room. She then pulled at her phone and looked at the email from the trauma chief. "Okay, Carlos Torres, you just wait until you get an earful from Arizona Robbins. Yup, you just wait." She put her phone back in her pocket and then left by the other door, heading back to her office, and the solitude she would need to consider what exactly she needed to say to the father of her girlfriend.

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thanks again for your comments and PMs. They are wonderful.

While we won't actually see what Arizona wrote to Carlos, you'll get hints of it through the next two chapters. But it's her chance to go all Good Man in a Storm on him, of course. I liked having a few parallels to their real story.

And here's the last little sexy time before the big super sexy time. Hope you enjoy it.

Oh, and yes, I'm opening myself up for more "but they haven't slept together yet" complaints. Go for it. There are only 2 more chapters to get through before the biggie.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 36<strong>

Arizona smiled as she drained the last of her wine glass. "You know, Callie, you've really turned me on to wine."

Callie smiled, a little shyly at first but then it turned decidedly sexier. "I hope that's not the only thing I've turned you on to."

Arizona's eyebrow rose at the suggestion. "Oh, there might be one or two other things," she whispered as she crawled on her hands and knees along the couch until she was face to face with Callie, their lips only a few centimeters apart. "You're a huge turn on, for example."

"Oh?" Callie asked as she took one finger and ran it around Arizona's lips, but pulled it back when the blonde tried to capture the digit between her teeth.

"And a huge tease, too," Arizona added before grabbing Callie's wrist so she couldn't escape and then sucking her finger into her mouth. She spent long seconds just teasing it, first with her lips and then with the tip of her tongue. She smiled without releasing the finger when Callie's eyes rolled closed and she moaned. Then, with a light rake of the skin across her teeth, she finally let it free.

"I'm not the only one," Callie said as she let out a deep breath that seemed to make her whole body shudder.

"Me? No, I'm innocent," Arizona said with a light laugh as she moved to straddle Callie's lap. "Totally innocent," she breathed out as she went down and began kissing along Callie's jawline. When Callie moaned, Arizona's stomach flipped and she instantly moved up to put her lips next to Callie's ear. "But in eight days, I promise I won't be so innocent."

Callie gasped as she turned her head to capture Arizona's lips with her own. She reached up to wrap her fingers in Arizona's hair and pulled her down with her until they were lying on the couch, Arizona on top of Callie. "God, I hope not," she finally whispered against Arizona's lips before returning to the kiss.

Arizona quickly got lost in the feel of her body against Callie's and their lips and tongues exploring each other. She was so lost in it that she didn't even consciously realize when Callie's hands went under her shirt and slid up her sides. It wasn't until tentative hands cupped her breasts that Arizona's brain realized what was happened. "Callie, what—"

Callie kissed her hard, silencing her, before pulling away. "Let's go upstairs," she said as she started to sit up.

"Upstairs?" Arizona's brain was still having a hard time engaging thanks to Callie's hands still kneading at her breasts.

Callie's hands dropped down to Arizona's waist as she sat them both up. Her eyes seemed somehow darker and more serious than Arizona could ever remember seeing them. "Let's go up to my room."

"Callie we can't. We shouldn't."

Callie shook her head. "We're both adults. We can do whatever we want. We're not hurting anyone. I want to finally touch you, Arizona. I don't want to wait."

"It's only eight days," Arizona said, not really understanding why she was arguing, yet feeling a need to nonetheless.

Callie sat back and pulled her hands away from Arizona. "Exactly. I'm practically divorced. What's wrong, Arizona. I thought you wanted to have sex."

"I do," Arizona said before letting out a deep breath. "I want you more than anything, Callie, but I also…" She trailed off as she tried to figure out how best to articulate what she wanted to say. "I want you to be mine, Callie, all mine. When we finally have sex, I don't want Owen to have any hold over you except that you are the mother of his children. Right now, he's still your husband. And I know that's in name only, but when we finally sleep together, I want there to be nothing between us, especially not Owen."

"But he's not between us, Arizona," Callie pled as she put her hands on either side of Arizona's face. "We've been over for so long and I never really loved him as more than a friend and the father of my kids anyway. He has no hold over me."

"He does." Arizona laughed dryly. "You know, when you first asked me to wait, I have to admit I thought it was a little over the top. Sure, there were all those good sentiments about how we needed to learn to be in a relationship just by being us and not relying on sex to bring us together. We'd both had that experience before. But then I really began to think about it, and it started to mean something to me. I don't ever want to be the mistress again. I'm more than that, Callie. I…" She paused as she looked deeply into the dark brown eyes before her, into the understanding that was playing in their depths. "I love you, Calliope and I want this done right."

Callie sucked in a deep breath and sat up straighter. "Did you just say..."

Arizona couldn't help but let a bright smile grace her lips. "I did. I love you." As the words tumbled from her mouth a second time, a ball of nervousness formed in her stomach as she wondered how Callie would take this admission.

Luckily she didn't have to wait long. "Oh thank God. I love you, too, Arizona. I love you so much." She then leaned forward and kissed Arizona.

When they broke the kiss they did not move apart but instead just pressed their foreheads together. Arizona smiled as she let out a deep breath. "Well now that that's out of the way," she said with a quiet laugh.

"I've wanted to tell you that for weeks," Callie admitted.

"Me too. I just kept trying to find the right time." She shrugged slightly. "Maybe right now wasn't perfect, but I couldn't hold it back any more. I mean, if I didn't love you so much, maybe I wouldn't care about whether we wait or not."

"I know. And I get it. I don't want you to be the mistress either. You're the woman I love and the one I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with. You're worth the wait." Callie laughed. "Even if that means another eight days of cold showers."

Arizona laughed loudly at that. "Glad I'm not the only one."

They laughed together for a few moments before Callie reached up and cupped Arizona's cheek. "I love you," she said with an impish grin. "Now that I've said it, I'm not going to be able to stop. You're the first person I've ever felt like this about. So, I love you. I love you. I love you."

"I love you, too, Calliope. So very, very much. I want you to be the one for me, too. It's never felt this right with anyone before. I know I've never loved anyone like this. Certainly not Sandy. That was just infatuation compared to this. You've really showed me that I can trust and love again. Thank you." She then moved her hands up to behind Callie's head, entwining her fingers in the raven locks and pulling her forward. "Now, just because we aren't having sex doesn't mean we can't make out like school girls."

"Oh, God, yes," Callie breathed as she pushed Arizona back into the couch and reclaimed her lips.

* * *

><p>Arizona rested her head on Callie's shoulder and was busy watching their entwined hands. Callie kissed the blonde hair and smiled. "So, um, since you've now pronounced that I might be the one for you," she began and then couldn't help but giggle at how amazing that made her feel. She then took a deep breath and got more serious, a fresh set of butterflies battling in her stomach out of nervousness. "What do you think about spending some time with my kids?"<p>

"As your friend or as your girlfriend?" Arizona shifted so she could look up at Callie.

"As my girlfriend," Callie said with a nod. "I'm not sure how much they'll understand. The boys are still so young. But Allegra understands what boyfriends and girlfriends are, so she might get it." Callie swallowed hard as she thought about how Allegra might react. "It might be a rough adjustment for them."

Arizona nodded thoughtfully before turning back so that she was looking off into the distance, her head resting on Callie's shoulder. "I know it won't be easy. I imagine I'll be the bad guy for a while." She shrugged. "But I'm tough. Are you going to be okay if things don't go smoothly?"

Callie took in a deep breath and wrapped her arms tightly around Arizona. "The whole time I've thought about how tough all of this is on them. And I know it really is. They're so young and it can't be easy to understand why Mommy and Daddy aren't together anymore. But they're slowly adjusting. Kids are pretty resilient. They cry and have hissy fits, but they adapt pretty quickly. Before long you and I being together will be their new normal. I know it might take weeks or months, but you're worth it. And I think they'll be good for you and you'll certainly be good for them." She laughed. "It never hurts to have a pediatrician around."

"Pediatric surgeon."

"Yeah, whatever," Callie said as she hugged Arizona and kissed the crown of her head again. "So, what do you say we do something with the kids this weekend? Owen will be working all weekend, so I'll have them. Maybe we can go to the zoo? I hear they have some baby snow leopards."

Arizona sat up and turned to Callie, a bright smile on her face. "Really? How did I not hear that? I'm usually so in tune with the goings on of the tiny humans in Seattle."

Callie shrugged. "Well, you've been busy and you don't have a five year old who is in love with the cubs. She's all about wanting to go see Asha and Shanti. I mean, she's been begging me for weeks but I told her it needed to be warmer out first. And the weather's supposed to be pretty decent this weekend, so I thought maybe we should take them someplace where they can be distracted and just let them get to spend time with you. Then we can come back here and drop the 'Mommy's got a girlfriend' bomb on them."

"Oh, do you really want to crush them after a good day at the zoo?"

"Oh, I don't know, I always figure get them on your side and then go in for the kill," Callie said with a laugh. She leaned forward and gave Arizona a light kiss on her lips. "They'll love you, I promise. Just give them time."

Arizona smiled and was about to say something when the doorbell rang.

Callie frowned. "Who the hell is coming by at 10 at night?"

"Maybe some vampire Mormons? You know, they can only go door to door under cover of darkness?"

Callie laughed as she extricated herself and walked over to the windows so that she could peak through the curtains at the front door. "I doubt it," she said as she pulled the curtain back. "Oh fuck me," she then said as she quickly closed the curtain. "It's my parents. Both of them."

Arizona quickly stood up. "Shit. I guess I better run." She looked around almost in a panic and then frowned. "My purse is by the front door and my car keys are in there."

Callie shook her head. "Look, you don't have to go. They can go. I'm sure they're just here to try to convince me to go back to Owen or at least date men. That's not going to happen. Maybe they need to face that."

Arizona shook her head. "Please, don't make me meet your parents at 10 at night. I'm all for standing up to them, but can we do it at a time when I shouldn't be heading to bed?"

The doorbell rang again and Callie sighed in exasperation at her parents' presence. "Okay, fine, just say hi in passing, grab your stuff, and run like the wind." She smiled. "You're right, tonight is not the time to have the big meet and greet with my girlfriend. So just hello and goodbye. We'll worry about the rest tomorrow, okay?"

Arizona nodded but she seemed really distracted. "Maybe now is not the best time to bring this up, but I kind of emailed your father."

"You what?"

"Yeah, really not the time to discuss this. But just in case he mentions it, I did. I'll tell you about it later, okay?"

Now Callie really felt her head swimming at the fact that her parents were outside, and Arizona had emailed her father, and what the hell was she going to do? The doorbell rang a third time. "Shit, okay, but you will explain that tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, I will." Arizona came over to her and gave her a quick kiss. "I love you."

"Love you, too," Callie said as she reached out and quickly squeezed Arizona's hand before walking past her toward the front door.

The thought crossed her mind as she saw her parents through the glass of the front door that her parents' reaction to her and Arizona walking toward them probably was providing them with rather disturbing thoughts as to what had kept them for so long. Callie had to admit the thought gave her a sense of perverse pleasure at their obvious discomfort. She took a deep breath as she slowly opened the door, giving Arizona time to gather her things. "What are you two doing here so late? You don't just drop by from Miami after all."

Callie's mother looked between her daughter and Arizona, one eyebrow going up in an expression that Callie had often seen as a teenager. It was her mother's questioning disapproval, and it made her feel sixteen again, if only for a second. "Are you going to introduce us?" her mother asked with acid in her voice.

Callie's heart started to race as she looked from her parents to Arizona and back. "Mom and Dad, this is Arizona Robbins." She paused, trying to decide if she should explain who Arizona was exactly.

"Yes, we know who Dr. Robbins is," her father said quickly. He didn't seem quite as angry as he had the last time she'd seen him, but there was a sadness in his voice as he nodded to Arizona. "Dr. Robbins," he said by way of greeting.

"It's nice to meet both of you," Arizona said as she pulled her purse up onto her shoulder. "I was actually just getting ready to head home. I have to be in to work early tomorrow. So, if you'll excuse me?" She started to shoulder past the three of them.

"I'll see you at work," Callie said to her as she escaped to the front porch.

Arizona turned and smiled at her before letting out a little nervous sigh and then turning to trot down the porch steps and off into the night.

Callie then crossed her arms and looked from her mother to her father. "So, really, I thought I was being shunned. Now you've seen her. Is she really some huge monster?"

"I never said she was," Carlos said as he started to walk down the hall toward her living room.

Lucia shook her head but didn't say anything as she followed her husband.

"Oh fuck me," Callie whispered under her breath as she shut the door and locked it. She then moved down the hall and followed her parents into the living room. She sighed again as she saw them taking up residence on her couch, the very couch she and Arizona had been enjoying together just a few moments before. "Okay, so are you now both going to tag team me? Is that how this is going to go?"

Lucia looked up at her daughter. "Calliope, we only want what's best for you and for our grandchildren. You need to get back together with Owen. Living in sin is not good for any of you. You'll go to Hell for this."

Callie fell into the chair and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, not wanting to seem defeated or weak. She needed to be confident and not let them get to her, so she decided to just let it out. She'd already faced the reality of losing them, so what really would it hurt to have that happen twice in one week? "My life is not a sin. I love Arizona. And she loves me. And we're working on slowly building a life together. I want her in my life and I hope it's for a very, very long time. Love can never be a sin, don't you get that?"

"That's not what the Bible says," Carlos countered, but his words didn't have the punch they had had on his earlier visit.

"Yeah, well, the Bible says a lot of stuff that no one pays attention to nowadays. I just need to go with my heart on this and I'm sorry if you two can't understand that. But I'm not going to live my life without love just to make you two happy. I married Owen to make you happy and that's how I got in this mess in the first place."

Lucia gasped. "You made vows before God, Calliope. You knew what you were doing."

"And I did that for all the wrong reasons. I've already asked God for forgiveness and I think He's given it to me. I made a mistake. It's not one I regret, of course, because it gave me the boys, but still, it was a mistake. And I'm fixing that mistake now. Owen and I will be divorced in eight days and then I'm going to work hard to build a life with someone who really does love me. I would hate for that life to not have you two in it, but if you can't love me for who I am, then so be it."

"And who are you?" Lucia asked.

"She's who she always was," Carlos said, his voice flat in resignation. "Did you know that Dr. Robbins sent me an email?"

"She told me, but I don't know what it said," Callie answered as she looked at her father.

"One of the things she said is that you are still the same person you've always been, the same person that we raised you to be. And I do believe that. But I still can't approve of this, Calliope."

Callie swallowed hard. "I'm a grown woman. You don't need to approve of me anymore."

Lucia stood up, her patience obviously wearing thin. "We'd like to sit down with you and your husband to discuss what is going on in your life. I'd like to hear what he has to say. We both would."

"Yes, yes," Carlos said as he too rose. "But it's getting late. We are staying at the Archfield. Can we invite you and Owen to lunch tomorrow? If your schedules allow."

Callie looked up at her parents and then rose to her feet so they wouldn't be able to look down on her. "I have no idea what Owen's schedule is. I'm not his keeper anymore. I know he's working this weekend, but I'm not sure about tomorrow." As much as she'd rather have hot pokers shoved under her fingernails than sit through a meal with her parents while they tried to convince her and Owen to reconcile, she could only hope that perhaps seeing that Owen was just as resolute in wanting the divorce would help them accept the state of things. "I'll call him in the morning and see if he can spare an hour for lunch. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had a long day and I'd like to get some sleep."

"Yes, of course," her mother said politely. "You have a nice sleep, dear." She walked over and gave Callie a kiss on her cheek before she walked out of the room, leaving only Carlos behind.

"Good night, Calliope," her father said. He started to move toward her, then hesitated, and finally just shook his head slightly. "I'll hopefully see you tomorrow," he added quietly before following his wife.

When Callie heard the door shut she let out a huge exhale and collapsed on the chair. "Thank God that's over," she whispered to herself. But then she thought about the prospect of lunch the next day and her stomach turned. "This is going to suck."

TBC


	37. Chapter 37

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Okay, first off, sorry for the delay. I've been in crazy move mode the last 2 weeks, but now I'm finally into my new place (which is amazing!) and just facing a bajillion boxes to unpack. But no time pressure on those. Now if only I can keep power when this huge storm hits tonight/tomorrow (knock on wood). Hopefully if we lose power around here it won't be out for too long, but it might mean a little delay in the next chapter or for my other story. Damned mother nature!

Glad you guys are still hanging on (just one more chapter before sexy time ). And to those wondering, sorry, there won't be a sequel. There's just no real story to tell with these slightly alternate reality versions that I can't tell with the real Callie and Arizona. Once they're together, they lose their interest as characters for me. Besides I have a season 9 story and then another story I am working on without posting. That'll keep me busy for a while.

And now for some seriously awkward family time! Oh and I don't know jack about Cuban food, so blame Wikipedia if I got anything wrong, okay?

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><p><strong>Chapter 37<strong>

Callie looked over at Owen and rolled her eyes as they walked into the dining room at the Archfield. Callie could barely believe her parents were doing this and even less so that they were going to have this conversation in public. Not that she cared and Owen had assured her that he was on her side on the way over so she was reasonably sure he could care less too. As they approached the table, she whispered to him, "I'm going to owe you big on this one."

He just chuckled quietly as a smile that only years of marriage told Callie was forced came to his lips. "Carlos, Lucia, it's good to see you." He went over and gave his soon to be ex-mother-in-law a kiss on the cheek before shaking Carlos' hand.

"Oh, Owen, I'm so glad you could join us today. We do really need to talk about all this," Lucia said as she resumed her seat.

Owen pulled Callie's chair out for her and as Callie sat she raised her eyebrow at him. _Don't encourage them,_ she wished she could tell him. The gallantry had brought a big smile to her mother's face. "Can we order before we get into the begging and pleading?"

Carlos' voice was full of reproach. "There won't be begging and pleading, Calliope. We just want to talk to the two of you."

"Sure," Callie said as she waved toward the waiter. "I'll have a gin and tonic," she told him, knowing she'd likely need the liquid courage before long. She then turned her head toward the menu and tried her best to ignore the pleasantries going on around her.

Before long they had placed their orders and were left to just all look around at one another. Finally, Callie couldn't take it any longer. "Okay, go for it," she said as she looked from one parent to another.

Lucia let out a quiet sigh. "We just don't understand why you two are getting a divorce. You made vows before God to love and cherish one another for a lifetime. Five years is not a lifetime."

Callie sighed quietly but then could barely contain a smile when she felt Owen's hand squeeze her knee, as he had so often done when they'd go visit her family and they would begin to wear on her last nerve. "Lucia, Carlos, I'm sorry, but we just are no longer in love with one another. We made this decision to get a divorce and since then we've both met wonderful people who we're working on building new loving relationships with. I'm happy for Callie and Arizona and I think she's happy for me and Cristina."

"I am," Callie quickly added as she gave him the slightest of smiles.

Carlos shook his head sadly. "How can you be okay with this, Owen? What kind of man can lose his wife to a woman?" There was a thin layer of disgust in his words.

"A man who loves his soon to be ex-wife as a dear friend. Look, I know you two can't approve of Callie's relationship, although I hope someday you do so that our kids can truly have their grandparents in their lives, but I'm not you. Callie is my friend and I want her to be happy. I want that for our kids, too. If she's in a happy and loving relationship, and I know she is, then they'll get all the love they need."

Lucia shook her head vehemently. "Are you going to allow that woman to be around your kids? What will that teach them?"

Callie reached out and put her hand over her mother's to stop her. "It'll teach them about love, Mom. I love Arizona. I really do. And she loves me. One of the most important things a child can learn from their parents is the beauty and power of love. I learned that from you two."

"Not well enough," Lucia cut in as she pulled her hand away from Callie.

"No, I learned it well," Callie countered. "I wanted to find that with Owen, I really did. But we just weren't meant to be. Would you rather we live in a loveless marriage for the rest of our lives? Would you rather your own daughter be miserable?"

Lucia's eyes softened as she shook her head. "No, but I also don't want you to spend eternity paying the price for this. Calliope, I do want you to be happy and find true love. Of course that's what I want. But I also want you to be right with God. You can't do that with her."

"Can you just let me worry about God, Mom?" Callie took a sip of her drink and enjoyed the feel of the warm burn in her throat. "Please, just get to know her. Just see us together. Give her a chance."

Owen nodded. "I think you both would like Arizona a lot. She's great."

Carlos seemed to deflate just a little as he turned to his wife. "She did write us that nice letter, Lucia. Maybe we should at least meet her. I'm not saying we have to accept her into our family, but what else are we going to do?"

Just then Owen's beeper went off. After he glanced down at it, he sighed and placed his napkin on the table. "I'm sorry, but I have to get back to work. It was nice seeing you both. I assume you'll be coming to the twins' birthday party again this year?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Carlos replied.

"Good then I will see you there." She leaned down to Callie and whispered in her ear, "Stay strong. Your father might be coming around a little." He then kissed her on the cheek and left.

Callie watched him leave the dining room before turning back to her parents. "So, will you meet her? Please? We could have dinner tonight. She's off work at 5."

Lucia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I suppose," she said as she opened them to look sadly at her daughter. "But don't expect us to welcome her with open arms. That will never happen."

Callie swallowed hard as she watched the resolve settle into her mother's eyes. When she looked over at her father, there was more understanding there and an empathy that touched her. "Just please be civil and have an open mind about her, okay? That's all I can ask. Now, I'll be right back. I want to see if she's free for dinner."

She rose and walked out into the lobby. When she got there she quickly pulled out her phone and called her girlfriend.

"Dr. Arizona Robbins," Arizona answered after the second ring.

Callie smiled at the sound of her voice and the determined professionalism of her voice. "Hi beautiful."

"Calliope," Arizona answered and the smile was evident in her voice. "Hello back, my gorgeous girlfriend. So, um, how's lunch?"

Callie let out a deep sigh. "Well, my mother has pretty much condemned me to Hell. Owen got saved by a page. And my father, well, there's maybe just a hint of hope there, but who knows. It's better than when he disowned me. And speaking of food with my parents, I convinced them to meet you. Please don't hate me for subjecting you to that. But can we all get together for dinner tonight?"

There was the sound of a deep breath on the other end and then a long pause. "I've actually never met a serious girlfriend's parents before. Sandy's were both dead by then. Um, are you sure they can handle meeting the evil lesbian who is corrupting their daughter?"

Callie had to laugh at the thought of Arizona being anything other than sweet and nice. It was probably possible, but very unlikely. "I'm more worried if you can handle my homophobic parents."

"Bah," Arizona answered back dismissively. "Parents are my thing. I deal with parents all the time. I'm up for it. I mean, really, how bad can it be?"

Callie rolled her eyes. "Do you want the serious answer to that?" She laughed quietly and then looked back through the glass doors of the dining room to where her parents were sitting. "Look, I should get back. I'll give you a call later to set up the details. Ok?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Oh, and Arizona?"

"Yeah?"

Callie couldn't help the humongous smile that spread across her lips. "I love you."

Again the smile came through in Arizona's voice as she answered, "I love you, too."

With a quiet and contented sigh, Callie hung up her phone and then sobered as her eyes once again fell on her parents. She groaned as she placed the phone back in her purse. "It's only one day, right? I can get through a day with them. And dinner with them and my girlfriend. Right?" As she pushed the door open to return to the dining room she had the incredible feeling that she was entering some sort of arena where she would be fighting for her life. _Who am I kidding? This is just going to suck._

* * *

><p>Arizona continued setting the table as she looked over at where Callie was frantically cooking in the kitchen. Callie had been at it all afternoon, ever since she left her parents at the hotel and made a mad dash to Whole Foods before starting to cook a crazy array of Cuba specialties that she now kept worrying her mother wouldn't like. "You don't get it, Arizona, she's a career woman but she's also very much into a woman doing all those things that June Cleaver did. And she's incredibly good at it. Me, not so much."<p>

Arizona placed the last fork down and walked over to stand behind Callie, wrapping her arms around her waist and laying her head on her shoulder. "It'll be fine, amazing even. I know you're nervous." She reached out and placed her fingers around Callie's wrist, feeling her pulse rapidly pounding. "You need to calm down. I know you love them, but you've already said that if they can't accept you, you'll get by. I know that hurts you, but look at it this way. They're coming to dinner to meet your girlfriend. That's a big step. It might take time and they might never come around fully, but that's progress."

"I know," Callie said as she leaned back into Arizona's body. "And you're right. If they can't accept the fact that I've fallen in love with a woman, then they don't unconditionally love me." She turned and kissed Arizona. "I'm not giving up on you for them, no matter what happens tonight."

Arizona leaned forward to press her forehead against Callie's. "I love you," she whispered. "We'll get through tonight together, okay?"

"Okay," Callie whispered.

The doorbell rang and Callie stood up straight. "Well, here goes nothing I guess," she said as she took a deep breath. She wiped her hands on a towel and gave Arizona a final smile before heading out of the living area to answer the door.

Arizona took a deep breath of her own, trying to still her pounding heart. She felt like a teenager going over to face her girlfriend's father for the first time. "Just relax, Arizona," she told herself.

Then Callie walked in with her parents. Arizona put a smile on her face and walked over to the trio. She waited for Callie to lead the introductions, knowing her girlfriend needed to be as in control of the evening as possible.

"So, Mom, Dad, this is Arizona."

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Torres," Arizona said as she offered her hand first to Callie's father and then her mother.

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Robbins," Carlos said.

"Yes, nice to meet you," Lucia echoed, her voice sounding tight.

Callie looked at Arizona and slightly rolled her eyes before she motioned toward the table. "So, Mom and Dad, I made us some boliche and some paella using Abuela's recipe of course."

"Of course," Lucia answered as she sat in the seat Callie indicated. "Yes, I'm sure it will all be delicious. If there's one thing you managed to learn, it's cooking. What about you, Dr. Robbins? Do you cook?"

Arizona laughed loudly before she could stop herself. She went into the kitchen area to help Callie bring out the food as she answered, "Not in the least. I almost burned ramen noodles in college. I haven't tried to cook since then."

"Ah, well then I guess that makes sense," Lucia said quietly, more to herself than anyone else, and Arizona just lifted an eyebrow in Callie's direction. Her girlfriend shook her head slightly while rolling her eyes.

"Dad," Callie said as she put the platter she was carrying down in the middle of the table, "Arizona was at one of your resorts. Which one was it?"

"Cancun. It was a package deal sort of thing." She didn't want to bring up that it was sponsored by a lesbian tourist group. "It was lovely. Really quite amazing."

"Why, thank you. I'm very lucky to have found some nice properties to develop." Carlos paused for a moment as Callie and Arizona sat and then held his hands out to his wife and daughter. "Let's say grace."

Arizona awkwardly held Lucia's hand but smiled when Callie took her other and squeezed it gently. They shared a quick look before they both dropped their head and Carlos offered a brief prayer of thanksgiving for family, friends, and good food. Arizona usually wasn't one for praying but she tried to appear respectful because she knew Callie's family was quite devout. When the rounds of amen were said, Arizona picked up the bowl of rice and offered it to Callie's mother. "Please, you start."

Dinner continued in long stretches of awkward silence followed by small fits of small talk—Arizona telling them about her specialty, the places she'd lived, the schools she studied at. It all felt a bit like Callie's parents were going down a laundry list of qualifications, and really Arizona wasn't surprised. She knew the email she had sent her father had certainly made it clear that she and Callie were pretty serious about each other. And Callie had told her earlier that she had also made sure her parents were aware this wasn't just some quick fling. It was very important, after all, that her parents not think they could easily dissuade their daughter from dating a woman, or Arizona was sure they would never hear the end of it. And she imagined that no one could withstand the disapproval of their parents for long without some damage coming to their relationship. Besides, Arizona really just wanted Callie to have a family that accepted this new facet of their daughter's life. Everyone deserved that, but especially the woman she loved.

When they were done and Lucia offered to help Callie with the dishes, Carlos cleared his throat and looked at Arizona. "Can we maybe go out on the porch and talk?"

Callie shot a look over at Arizona like she was afraid for her girlfriend's safety, but Arizona knew she couldn't turn down the invitation. "Sure."

The two of them went out onto the porch. Arizona's first instinct was to sit down in one of the rocking chairs, but she didn't want Callie's father to be over her in any way. It was bad enough he was almost half a foot taller than her to begin with, she didn't want to give him any more advantage. "So," she said when the silence became uncomfortable, "how long are you and your wife in town for?"

Carlos shrugged. "We didn't really set a return date. We figured we'd stay as long as it took to talk Callie out of this choice of hers." His eyes fell then. "I'm not so sure that's going to happen."

Arizona bit at her lip to keep from smiling. "No, probably not. I'm probably being selfish, but I certainly hope not."

Carlos nodded slightly. "You love her, don't you?"

"Very much so," Arizona answered without hesitation.

"I could tell from your email. That was a pretty impassioned bit of writing." He looked her in the eye. "Not many people suggest I need to make changes in my life and get away with it."

Arizona's heart rate rose at the implied threat but then he smiled and she relaxed. "Look, I can't tell you or your wife how to be Callie's parents, but I just know that it's really hurting her that you can't seem to understand that she's doing what she feels is right. She just wants your unconditional love and support, that's all. That's all that any child wants."

Carlos nodded and looked off into space thoughtfully for a few moments. "I lost my parents when I was pretty young, so maybe I sometimes have a hard time understanding how a grown child relates to a parent. It's something I never got to experience from the child end. But you are right. We do need to love her unconditionally."

"She doesn't expect you to ride in a pride parade or anything. I think she just wants you to understand that she's living the best life she can, and part of that is finding someone to share her life with. I want to be that person."

He grunted quietly before turning to look out into the night. "You seem like a very nice person, Dr. Robbins. And I'm sure you're a great doctor. You just have to understand, I don't want my little girl to get hurt."

Arizona turned to face in the same direction and looked over at him. "I get that. My parents were the same way when I came out to them. It's a scary world out there and there are a lot of people who are full of hate. It's not always easy being gay, that's for sure. But my father taught me to fight for what I believe in. He called it being a good man in a storm. And I believe in Calliope. I believe in this relationship we're building. And I promise you, I'll fight to protect her as much as I can. And I won't ever intentionally hurt her. I really promise that."

"Okay," Carlos answered then. "I'm not sure I can give my blessing just yet, but I'm going to do my best to come to terms with this and support her relationship with you. But if you ever hurt my little girl…"

"I won't. Really, I won't."

"Good." He started to walk back toward the front door. "Are you coming?"

"I'll be in in a moment," she replied with a smile as she watched him nod and walk back into the house. Only once the door closed did she let out a huge sigh and collapse into one of the rocking chairs. "Well, I'm still alive. I guess that's something," she muttered to herself as she let her heart start to calm down.

The front door opened then and Callie walked out. She laughed quietly as she came over to sit on the arm of the rocking chair that Arizona was in. "My father swore he didn't kill you, but I had to come out and check for myself."

Arizona laughed as she leaned into Callie's hip. "He's not so bad."

"You should tell that to the string of boyfriends I had in high school and college. I think he scared a few of them so bad they left the state." Callie laughed but then quickly got serious. "So?"

Arizona shrugged. "Well, I tend to think I won't be invited to family reunions just yet, but he said he'd try to be supportive of you, of us."

"Really?" Callie looked down at her with a totally disbelieving look on her face.

"Like I said, he's not so bad."

Callie nodded and then rolled her eyes. "Wish the same could be said about my mother. She just spent the last ten minutes trying to convince me to give men another shot. She just doesn't get that I love you and that's not going to change."

"Well, I for one am glad to hear that. And you probably just have to give her some time. This is all still so new. And you said that you're closer to your dad, so it's pretty natural that he'd be supportive first." She placed a gently hand on Callie's thigh. "Now, what do you say we go have dessert so they can leave? Then we can spend some time just cuddling or whatever. Because, really, right now, I just want to hold you and sip wine and talk about nonsense for the rest of the evening."

Callie leaned down and gave Arizona a brief kiss. "That sounds perfect. Pie and coffee and then they're out of here. Come on."

TBC…


	38. Chapter 38

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** So sorry this took forever. I've been both busy and down in the dumps, neither of which is good for writing. And of course I'm writing 2 stories when this happens, right? Ugh!

First off, still loving the "oh my god you've gone this long and there's still no sex" reviews from anonymous guests. Since it occurs to me that you're still reading despite the lack of smut, I would like to thank you so much for the compliment. That's probably better than any positive review I've gotten so far!

And for the rest of you, thanks for the wonderful reviews. I'm glad many of you appreciate the slow story and the character building and all that. Can't please everyone, but from the PMs, follows, and reviews, I'd say I'm pleasing way more than I am not. And that's all I can ask.

So, here's the last thing that I feel I need to accomplish before getting to the end of this whole thing…hopefully will have the next chapter up by the end of the month. I'm visiting my mother for Thanksgiving, though, and that will undoubtedly put a damper on writing the sexy time, so who knows.

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><p><strong>Chapter 38<strong>

"When are we going to see the snow leopards?" Allegra whined to Callie as they walked through the zoo.

Callie looked over at Arizona, who shot her a short shrug, and then looked down at her daughter. "I told you, we're heading there right now. But they are in the middle of the park so it takes a little while."

Allegra pouted and looked over at Arizona. "If she hadn't wanted to see the monkeys we'd be there by now."

"They were orangutans," Arizona answered quietly as she looked down at Allegra with a hint of a challenge on her face.

"Close enough, Arizona" Allegra said with emphasis on every syllable of her name. She then turned to her brothers and rolled her eyes. "What a stupid name, too. It's a state," she practically spat as she walked off ahead of them.

"Hey, at least I'm not named after an allergy medication," Arizona yelled after her.

"Arizona!" Callie gasped as she swatted at her girlfriend's arm. "First rule of parenting, don't stoop to their level."

Arizona stopped and looked at her like she had two heads. "I… I'm not their parent, Callie."

"I know," Callie said with an exasperated sigh. It had just slipped out and she knew Arizona was hesitant about her kids, because she had never really seen herself as a parent. And yet she was embarking on this journey with the mother of three small kids, one of whom could routinely be a bit of a smartass. "I'm not trying to push you into anything, but you'll need to be an adult around them. You can't just try to be their friend or stoop to a four year-old's level, if you want to be in a relationship with a parent. They need to show you respect like they would respect me or Owen and you need to react accordingly."

"Can I start tomorrow? I'm really not in the mood to be that adult today." Arizona looked at her and gave her a goofy grin, but Callie could tell that it was more of a put on to avoid the issue of her kids. "I mean, really, snow leopards, Callie!"

Callie looked at her and then couldn't help but smile. Arizona was right. This was supposed to be a fun day. They'd have time for heavy discussions later. "Okay, snow leopards." But she still wanted to somehow say what she needed to about the little spat between Arizona and her daughter. "Allegra's not usually like this," Callie said to Arizona.

Arizona shrugged. "She's just trying to figure out the boundaries of how to react to me. She wants to see what my buttons are and what your buttons are when it comes to me. It's how kids at her age figure out the world a lot of the time." She reached over and took Callie's hand. "Don't worry. Even if I'm still working out how to react to your kids, they aren't going to scare me off. But I hate that you are in the middle of us."

Callie let out a huge sigh of relief. Callie had worried that her kids often having bad attitudes due to all the changes in their lives would give Arizona pause when it came to their relationship. "They're going through a hard time and now there's someone new in my life. I guess it's understandable they aren't too thrilled about it. Well, Allegra especially. I think the boys are just young enough that they still haven't figured out how this is all impacting them."

"It'll take time," Arizona said with the quietest of sighs. "I mean, I'm obviously not looking to take Owen's place or anything. I can't be their parent just yet, Callie. I'd like to just start out being their friend, but an adult one that should be respected, just like you said. I guess they might see it as more than that, but I'm not quite ready for that. And deep down I don't think they're ready to see me as a parent either. One day I guess I will be. Just not quite yet, okay?"

"Okay." Callie nodded as she flashed back to the discussion a few nights previous after they had gotten rid of her parents and were enjoying just being together. Discussions of the future had come up and the most important part of that had been her children. Callie had wanted to broach the subject for a while, but after introducing Arizona to her parents, it seemed that the next natural step was to introduce the children to Arizona as their mom's girlfriend and not just as a co-worker. The boys had not seemed all that interested, but Allegra had instantly rebelled against the idea, because all she knew was her mother and father weren't together like they used to be. Now that Mommy was going to be dating someone else, it had to seem to her like Arizona was taking Owen's place. "I've told her at every opportunity that Daddy is still Daddy and he still loves them, but I'm not so sure she wants to hear it. Even Owen telling her didn't seem to convince her."

Arizona laid her head on Callie's shoulder. "We just need patience. She's not going to run me off and as long as you're willing to weather the Allegra storm, we'll get through it."

Callie laughed quietly. "Allegra storm? Yeah that's about right. You should see her when I make her clean her room. Talk about temper tantrums."

"Well, I know one thing that won't cause a temper tantrum," Arizona said with a nod straight ahead. Allegra and the twins were standing along the fence with a number of other children and adults looking into the pen where the snow leopards were housed. "Granted getting her to leave might be an effort."

Callie groaned loudly. "Not looking forward to it."

They walked over to stand behind the three children. Arizona immediately knelt down so she was on their level and poked her head between Allegra and the boys. "Do you see them?"

"There," Allegra said excitedly as she pointed toward the back of the exhibit. "You can see the cubs playing in the grass." Her voice was full of wonder as she stared at the two small cubs and their mother.

"Aww," Arizona said as she seemed to instinctively lean a little closer to Allegra. "Did you know that snow leopards don't roar? They can't. They can growl and make other cat-like noises, but they can't roar like a lion or the other big cats."

"Really?" Allegra looked at Arizona with wide eyes for a moment before turning back to look at the leopards. "How do they scare off other animals?"

"Well, they can kill animals that are way bigger than they are, so I'm not sure they have too many animals they need to scare off. They just kill them."

"And eat them," Allegra whispered.

"Yes, they eat them. They only eat meat," Arizona answered.

Callie watched as Allegra and Arizona continued to talk about the snow leopards and couldn't help but smile as her daughter seemed to relax in Arizona's presence. The twins also seemed to be fascinated by the information Arizona was giving to their sister. _Well, it's a start. Thank you snow leopards._

* * *

><p>Arizona looked down the hall, waiting for Callie to come back from tucking the children in for bed. It had been a long day, and often trying, but she really felt like there had been a little progress between her and the kids. All the way home from the zoo, Allegra had peppered Arizona with questions about various animals at the zoo. From time to time, Arizona would look over at her girlfriend and see the smile spread on her lips as Allegra thought up another of the animals they had seen and wanted to know why they did this or that. It really gave Arizona hope that things would relax between her and the kids and that it would make the relationship she was building with Callie grow. But she still felt so uncertain and she found herself worrying that if the kids didn't continue to slowly accept her, that it would throw up a wall between her and Callie that might be impossible to scale.<p>

As she let her brain continue to mull over the issue of the kids, Callie finally came down the hall, a look of relief on her face. "Sorry that took so long," she said quietly when she walked into the living area. "The boys just wanted to talk about the zoo. I think they really liked it."

Arizona couldn't help but smile as she thought about the toddlers and how they had squealed at the variety of animals they had seen all day. "They're at that age where they can really start comprehending what is going on around them and the zoo is perfect for young kids like that."

"And big kids like us, too," Callie said as she flopped down onto the couch next to Arizona. "I had a really good time today."

"Me too," Arizona answered automatically, even though there really wasn't much enthusiasm in her voice.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Callie said as she turned sideways on the couch so she was looking directly at Arizona.

Arizona shrugged and let out a small sigh. "I guess I'm just worried that the kids won't continue to accept me. Today was pretty easy because it was exciting. What about every other day when I'm just here for dinner or stopping by to say hi?"

"Well, first of all," Callie began with a mischievous smile on her face, "I hope you'd be stopping by for more than that."

"With your kids down the hall?" Arizona had a hard time keeping the smile from her face.

"Adults do it all the time," Callie said with a shrug. "That's how little brothers and sisters are made after all." She then got serious and looked down at her hands for a moment before her dark eyes rose to meet Arizona's. She started to say something before she shook her head and got up to go over to where her purse was sitting. She dug through it for a few moments before pulling something out. She then came back and sat across from Arizona. "I was going to give this to you this weekend, but I want you to have it now." She handed Arizona a small velour bag.

Arizona took it gingerly and looked at it for a few moments before speaking. "Callie, you didn't have to give me anything."

Callie's smile was a little unsure for a moment before it spread. "Open it."

Arizona returned the smile before she nodded and looked down at the little bag. She untied the red string around the neck and pulled it open before tipping it over so that the contents could fall into her palm. She smiled when a silver key fell out. "House key?" Her stomach flipped as she ran her finger over the cool metal key.

"Yeah," Callie said as a hint of red came to her cheeks. "I want you here for more than dinners, Arizona." She held up her hand and quickly added, "I'm not asking you to move in or anything. But I want you to feel free to come over whenever you want and maybe have some stuff here so you can spend the night. Maybe at first on the nights Owen has the kids, but eventually and not that far in the future, I want you to be able to spend the night even when they're here. They need to understand that you're part of my life and you aren't going away. And that way, when we're ready, and we want to talk about something maybe a little more permanent, it's not so strange for them. Or for us." Callie stopped suddenly and let out a nervous burst of laughter. "I think I'm rambling."

Arizona's smile grew wide. "I love your rambling." She then tucked the key in her jeans pocket before climbing along the couch and onto Callie's lap, so that she straddled her thighs with her arms tossed over her girlfriend's shoulders. "I love the key and what it means," she said quietly before giving Callie a quick kiss. "And I love you," she added.

Callie's eyes shone brightly as she smiled. "Whew, so it's not too soon?"

Arizona couldn't help but laugh. "I realize we've probably won some award from the go-slow society or something, but I think we might have just gotten to the tipping point where we're allowed to start rolling downhill and picking up speed. So, no, it's not too soon. And I'd also love to keep some stuff here and spend the night as often as I can."

"Good," Callie said as she leaned in to give Arizona another kiss. "I'm sure after this weekend I'm going to want you here and in my bed as often as possible."

"In your bed, huh?"

"Yes. Don't bother bringing any pajamas over. You won't be needing them." A mischievous glint gleamed from Callie's brown eyes.

Arizona laughed again. "Ah, so you expect me to walk around your house naked, even when the kids are here?"

Callie pursed her lips in thought. "Okay, you can bring a robe."

"Ah, so generous of you." Arizona leaned down and kissed along Callie's jawline. "Of course I expect the same dress code from you," she whispered in her ear before kissing the spot behind it that she had found a few nights previous that Callie had admitted literally made her toes curl.

After a tremulous breath, Callie laughed quietly. "Of course. Oh, and speaking of dress codes, are you going to let me in on where we're going this weekend? I need to know what to pack."

Arizona sat up and couldn't help but grin broadly. It had been driving Callie nuts for the past two weeks that Arizona wouldn't reveal where they were going for their post-divorce weekend alone. Arizona had offered to make the arrangements and then had reveled in not giving anything away. Callie obviously wasn't someone who liked surprises any more than Arizona. "I vote for the same dress code as here. Birthday suits only."

"All three days? I mean, I'm all for having you naked as much as possible, but three solid days? Won't we at least need to get out of bed for room service or something? A robe perhaps?"

"Nope, no room service," Arizona answered honestly. "We'll be cooking. Well, okay, you'll be cooking. I'll be looking hot and sexy in all my nakedness while I watch you cook."

Callie coughed in surprise. "Cooking? You expect me to cook in the buff? Can I at least wear an apron so I don't burn anything you might like to play with later on?"

Now Arizona coughed at the thought of Callie cooking literally naked. It was an image she would love to have come true, but obviously not that practical. "Okay, seriously, I guess you can bring some clothes. We might want to go outside at some point. Besides," she said as she ran her finger down along the plunging neckline of Callie's top, "there is something to be said for clothes, because then I get to take them off you, right?"

"Oh, definitely." Callie gave Arizona a brief kiss and then sat back, raising an eyebrow in her direction. "Okay, so what kind of clothes?"

Arizona shrugged. "Comfy clothes. Jeans, sneakers, that kind of stuff. Oh and a bathing suit. Well, that's really optional, but if you have a really hot bikini, definitely bring it. Because I have to admit, the thought of you in a sexy bikini is, well, yeah, I can't even form words properly." She swallowed hard and licked her lips. "Please tell me you have one," she said as she raised her eyes to meet Callie's gaze.

"I think there might be one or two around here somewhere," Callie said with a slight shrug.

"Good," Arizona answered as she smiled with images of Callie in a barely-there bikini flying through her brain.

"You better have one, too, you know," Callie said as she poked at Arizona's side. "I need my eye candy, too,"

"And you'll get it," Arizona said as she moved off of Callie's lap. "But not tonight. I have to get going. I've got a really early surgery and then a day of getting things set up for the weekend."

Callie pouted as she stood up. "So I won't really see you tomorrow, then."

"Probably not, but the day after tomorrow is the hearing and then you'll see all kinds of me for three straight days." Arizona hefted an eyebrow toward Callie. "Isn't that enough?"

Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona's waist and pulled them tightly together. "Not even close. Why don't you use your key tomorrow night and come over after you're done all your preparations for the weekend? Then we can just leave from here together to go to the courthouse."

Arizona tried hard not to let a smile creep onto her lips, but she couldn't help it. "Only if there is no hanky-panky. We've been good this long. If I'm going to sleep here tomorrow night, we need to be chaste, okay?"

"Not even just a little panky? Or maybe just some hanky? As long as hanky and panky don't get together, it should be safe, right?" The playful smile on Callie's face was absolutely adorable.

Arizona let out a melodramatic sigh. "Okay, one or the other, but not both."

"Cross my heart," Callie said as she leaned down and gave Arizona a tender kiss. "So, I'll see you tomorrow night then," she said before giving her another kiss.

"See you then." Arizona reached down and picked up her purse. "Have a good day tomorrow," she said as she reached into her bag to dig out her car keys.

"You too."

Arizona tilted her head as she watched Callie for a moment, taking in the slight disappointment playing on her features. "I love you, you know."

"I do," Callie said before a smile broke through the shadows that had been playing on her face. "And I love you, too."

"Good," Arizona said before giving Callie a quick final kiss and heading toward the front door. "See you tomorrow night," she called back over her shoulder.

"Good night, Arizona," Callie answered just as Arizona reached the door.

"Good night," she answered before heading out into the night. As hard as it was to leave Callie, she really did have a ton of things to do in the next 24 hours. But first, she needed to run to the mall and buy a bikini.

TBC


	39. Chapter 39

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** I know, I know, finally, right? Sorry this took so long, but like I said, sex scenes take me forever and add to that I've been frantically studying for this pass-or-lose-my-job certification plus 2 other stories going (and a one-shot). Yeah, and a girl has to have a life, too (or so I've heard).

This one is for all of you that liked the slow burn and now want the payoff. Hope it was worth the wait. And there will be another chapter and an epilogue still, so not quite done. Although it might be a few weeks. Between Christmas, New Years, and the other 2 stories, I might not get back around to this for a bit. But hopefully after this you won't mind a little breather.

**INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT NOTE: ** In order to follow policies, I'm posting two versions of this. The one posted here glosses over the explicit stuff and therefore hopefully fits the rating policy of this site. However, I've posted a very explicit version on my LiveJournal ( kels7200 . livejournal . com). Just copy what's in the parentheses, paste it in your browser's location bar, and delete the spaces before you hit enter. Once there, the link is at the top of my Master Fiction List under "Alternate Versions of FF Chapters". Please head over there (assuming you are at least 18) if you want the rated MA version. I didn't write this many chapters to have the story pulled for content. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Okay, now, on with the show…

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 39<strong>

**DID YOU READ MY NOTE ABOVE? READ IT!**

Arizona's hands shook against the steering wheel as she turned off the highway. "Only a few more minutes," she said, breaking the silence that had been building for the last few hours as they drove out of Seattle and down along the coast. Arizona hadn't really factored in the long drive when she'd planned to rent a cottage on the ocean for their weekend, and she certainly hadn't thought about how the time between leaving the courthouse and making it to the cabin would just allow all the nervous tension to fester between them. "If you want to call the kids…" Arizona suggested quietly.

"Oh right," Callie answered as she dug into her purse. She pulled out her cellphone and made the call as Arizona flipped on the dome light. "Hi guys," she said after a few pleasantries with their grandmother. "Are you having fun?"

The loud chorus of affirmative screams came through clear enough for Arizona to hear.

"Good. Well you be good with Nana this weekend. Don't give her any trouble, okay?" She paused and looked over at Arizona with a smile. "Sure, Arizona can come for dinner on Monday. Okay, well, sleep tight. I'll call you tomorrow before bed, okay?" Another pause followed as Callie's eyes drifted off out the window. "Love you three. Good night." She hung up the phone and sighed quietly, her eyes not leaving the distant spot out of the car.

"They want me to come over?"

"Allegra wants you to come over," Callie corrected. "I'm glad they sound like they're having fun. I feel a little guilty leaving them this weekend."

"It was that or draw straws and either you or Owen stay with them. They'll be fine, Callie. They love spending time with their grandmother." Arizona tried to reassure her girlfriend, not only because she was speaking the truth, but because she knew Callie was using the kids as a way to express her nervousness and uncertainty. "We can always go back if you want," she offered, hoping to prod Callie out of her slight funk.

"Don't you dare," Callie said, her head whipping toward Arizona. She then laughed and shook her head. "Sorry. I know I'm sounding a little ridiculous. I'm just nervous is all."

"Me too," Arizona admitted as she shot a look over toward her girlfriend. "It's a good nervous," she quickly added when she saw a hint of apprehension in the brown eyes watching her. "Very good nervous, but nervous all the same." She reached out and took Callie's hand in hers, feeling how clammy it was. "It's okay to be nervous and even a little scared, okay?"

Callie's smile seemed a little tense. "I know."

"You sure?" Arizona asked as she let just a little smile show, hoping to push Callie to relax.

Callie looked at her for a long moment before she rolled her eyes and laughed. "Yes, I am." She then reached up and shoved playfully at Arizona's shoulder.

"Good," Arizona answered with a nod as she pulled into the driveway that would lead down to the secluded cabin. "And just in time, because we're here," she said quietly, her voice barely audible over the crunch of the tires on gravel. When the car came to a stop with the headlights illuminating the front porch, Arizona sighed quietly. "I was really hoping we'd get here before sunset. But there's always tomorrow evening."

"No one could have predicted the judge would get the flu. I swear Owen slipped the bailiff a hundred to make sure we got on Judge Randolf's docket today."

Arizona laughed as she remembered the panic all four of them had shared when they thought the divorce would be postponed until the following week. She doubted the bailiff needed a bribe to make the change. Probably just looking at the obvious sexual tension on all of their faces was enough for the poor man to fear for his life. "Owen was rather anxious to get things taken care of," she said with a laugh. "You know while you were in the restroom, right before we left, he gave me the take-care-of-her speech," she added quietly.

"He did?" Callie's laughter was louder. "What did you tell him?"

Arizona could barely suppress the smile that the memory conjured. "I told him that I'm not the man in the relationship, that we're both equals and that we can take care of each other." She then couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out of her. "I almost told him that I definitely planned on taking amazing care of you this weekend, but I didn't want to get into a pissing match with his male ego."

Callie shook her head with a small snort of laughter. "He's not really that kind of guy, but thank you for not choosing that route." She then got quiet and stared ahead at the cabin. "We're procrastinating you know."

"Why are we doing that anyway? Don't you think we've waited long enough?" Arizona felt just a slight hit of tension in the pit of her stomach as she waited to see if Callie would jump forward or the fear and nervousness would cause her to pause, maybe even run.

Luckily, Arizona didn't have to wait more than a few seconds for Callie's smile to brighten and her eyes to twinkle as she looked over at her. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>Callie's stomach was a mixture of knots and butterflies with her heart keeping time with the flapping wings as they climbed the steps of the cabin's front porch. <em>This is really it.<em>

Arizona lightly grabbed her forearm as they approached the front door. "Wait here a minute," she said with an uncertain smile.

"Okay," Callie drew out hesitantly but with a touch of humor.

Arizona unlocked the door and disappeared inside, leaving Callie alone on the porch. As night was finally settling on the coast, she could hear the crickets against the backdrop of the ocean waves. She really wasn't much for nature, but the ocean had always reminded her of home and it helped calm her nerves. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath of salt-tinged air.

"All set."

Callie jumped and let out a small yelp as Arizona came back out of the cabin. Her surprise caused her to laugh. "Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry." Arizona came over and took both of Callie's hands in her own. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay." Callie took a deep breath and then shrugged. "Nerves and all I guess."

Arizona reached up and cupped her cheek warmly. "Totally understandable. Want to go in or stay out here a bit longer?"

While Callie was nervous and maybe even a little apprehensive, there was no hesitation in her voice. "Let's go inside."

The reply brought one of those truly amazing smiles to Arizona's lips that caused her eyes to dance with joy. "Let's," she whispered as she took Callie's hand in her own and led her inside.

"Wow," was all Callie could muster as she took in the cabin's interior. It was like a fantasy you'd see on TV. The one-room cabin was filled with flickering candles and a few vases full of flowers—red roses mostly. A fire flared in the large stone fireplace. The king-sized bed, which took up much of the open space, was already turned down and Callie recognized the silk sheets on it. "Put my key to good use I see," she said with a quiet laugh as she realized Arizona must have borrowed them when she was at work. She then turned to Arizona, who wore a mildly embarrassed smile. "Arizona, it's amazing. It's like a dream. How did you manage all this?"

Arizona relaxed visibly. "I was afraid you'd think it was too corny."

"No, it's perfect," Callie said as she placed a gentle kiss on her girlfriend's forehead.

"Good. I got it all set up yesterday. The candles are flameless and on a timer so we won't have to get up to turn them off. The fireplace is gas with a remote." She moved in closer and slid her hand under Callie's blazer and along her hip. Her voice was deeper as she said, "I plan on us both being too worn out to get up tonight."

Callie felt the butterflies take renewed flight, but it was a welcome reaction. "You thought of everything."

"I've had a long time to think about it," Arizona said as she used both hands to slip the blazer from Callie's shoulders. "Too long."

The fire inside her that had been smoldering for hours—who was she kidding, for weeks—flared suddenly as Callie crashed her mouth against Arizona's. She lost herself in the force of the kiss as their tongues danced around each other frantically.

It wasn't until Arizona tore her mouth away, panting heavily, that she realized her girlfriend's fingers were trying desperately to unbutton her blouse. "What the hell?" Arizona muttered under her breath. "This shirt must have been made by a six year old sweat shop worker with fingers the size of matchsticks. I swear when we get home, I'm going through your closet and tossing any clothes I can't get you out of quickly."

Callie couldn't help but laugh as she reached up to take hold of Arizona's hands. "Take your time. My fingers are bigger than yours and I can get this top on and off. You're just rushing too much."

Arizona took a deep breath and smiled, a bright flush coming to her cheeks. When she slowed her fingers, the button easily slipped through the hole and she laughed. "Okay, so there's something to be said for patience."

"They say it's a virtue."

"Then we're about as virtuous as they come," Arizona said as she continued to concentrate on unbuttoning Callie's blouse.

Arizona's fingers brushed along Callie's skin as she slowly spread the two sides of her blouse, causing Callie to suck in a quick breath as her legs started to shake in weakness. She had to grab at Arizona's shoulders to keep her balance as Arizona slid the silk garment from her shoulders. Callie took a moment to steady her breathing, needing to calm her heart so that she could savor every moment of this. Even though part of her just wanted to throw Arizona onto the bed and have her way with her—and she knew there would be time for that later—this time she wanted to take in every moment, every sight, sound, feel and taste. She wanted her senses to be filled with Arizona and for that she needed to keep calm.

"Callie?"

"Hm?" Callie looked up into eyes that seemed to be a deeper shade of blue than normal. She smiled as Arizona's eyebrow rose in an obvious cue that it was her turn. "Oh, right," she said as she simultaneously kicked off her heels and pulled Arizona's top over her head, revealing a blue satin bra underneath.

"Brings out the color of my eyes," Arizona said as if trying to read Callie's mind. Arizona then ran a finger along Callie's shoulder until she reached the bra strap. "I'm sure you chose red because you know it's your color. It always looks amazing on you."

Callie chuckled quietly. "So, where's the cheesy line about how I'll look better out of it?"

Arizona half smiled as her hand went down to work on the waistband of Callie's slacks. "That goes without saying." She then frowned. "What the hell, Callie? Where's the zipper?"

"Left hip," Callie said through a laugh.

"Easy access clothing, Calliope. That's an order from now on," Arizona said in an exasperated tone as she finally found the zipper and began pulling it down before pushing the slacks over Callie's hips and letting them fall to the ground. Arizona took a half step back and looked up and down Callie's body, taking what felt like forever to look at every inch of her. "Damn, you are just truly stunning, you know that?"

Callie started moving toward Arizona, pushing her gently back toward the bed. "So you've said." When Arizona stopped as the back of her legs hit the bed, Callie put her hands on her shoulders and gently pushed down. Arizona obliged by sitting on the edge, a sexy smile coming to her lips. "Now," Callie continued as she knelt in front of her girlfriend, "this skirt has been driving me insane all day." She reached behind Arizona and grabbed her ass to pull her even closer to the edge. "Do you know how hard it was to pay attention in court today when all I could think about was doing this?" She started to push the skirt up Arizona's legs, slowly running her hands along the muscular thighs. She went almost painfully slow, letting her eyes drink in each inch of skin as it was revealed until finally blue panties peeked out from the gray suit skirt.

A mischievous smile came to Callie's lips as she leaned forward and placed a feather light kiss above Arizona's right knee. She then moved up further to kiss her inner thigh about halfway up. "God, Arizona," she whispered.

"Calliope," Arizona said, her voice thick with emotion and need.

Callie rose up on her knees and captured Arizona's lips with her own. She quickly ran her hands around Arizona's sides and to the back of her skirt so she could unzip it and yank it down over her hips. Callie broke the kiss for a moment and stared into Arizona's eyes. "You are so perfect," she husked out before capturing Arizona's lips once again.

Seconds turned into minutes and then time seemed to stand still as they explored each other, getting to know the little spots that brought out incredible moans and finding the moments of passion and love mixed inextricably as they brought each other to the height of desire and then back into comforting arms. Callie had never felt so many emotions assault her and it was truly overwhelming, and yet she had also never felt as totally right as she did then.

A tear slid from her clenched eyelids as she just let it all hit her. She was sharing one of the most perfect moments in her life with the woman she loved more than she had ever thought possible. She knew right then she would never share this with anyone else, ever again. It was Arizona, only Arizona, for the rest of her life, and she didn't want it any other way.

When they were both spent from the lovemaking, Callie wrapped Arizona in a strong embrace with one arm, while pulling the blanket up over them with the other. "Shh," she whispered in Arizona's ear as she kissed her on the crown of the head.

"You sure did your homework," Arizona finally said before laughing. She looked up at Callie, her eyes still slightly unfocused, and smiled. "Because, damn, that was amazing."

"Really?" Callie had been nervous before, but after experiencing Arizona's reaction, she was feeling pretty proud of herself.

Arizona rolled her eyes before tucking her head under Callie's chin. "You're a natural." Arizona fell silent then and took a deep breath.

Callie suspected what was on her mind. She tilted Arizona's head up and smiled brightly. "I'm glad, because that was incredible for me, too. Indescribably amazing," she quickly added as she leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Arizona's lips before she could say anything.

When the lingering kiss ended, Arizona let out a quiet chuckle. "You know me so well."

"Of course I do." Now that her heart rate had returned to normal, a pleasant weariness settled throughout her body. "What do you say we just lay here and rest up for a bit?"

"Did I wear you out?" Arizona's giggle was light.

"I'm not too proud to admit that you did."

"Good, because I'm worn out, too," Arizona admitted as she rolled over so that her back was against Callie. She then reached over to take Callie's left hand and wrap it around her waist. "Just a few minutes."

"Just a few?"

"We've got a lot of time to make up for," Arizona said, although her voice started to drift off at the end. It was only a few more moments before her breathing evened out and Callie could tell she had fallen asleep.

Callie gently kissed her shoulder before closing her own eyes. _We do, but we have the rest of our lives to catch up. _ She smiled as she settled her head on the pillow with her nose buried in Arizona's hair. "I love you, Arizona Robbins," she whispered before drifting off to sleep.

TBC …


	40. Chapter 40

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Thank you all for the kind words. I wasn't so much worried about whether I could pull the sex off or not, but more so just about how hard the process is for me. So, sorry to say, there will only be "fade to black" sex in this chapter. But hopefully there is just enough sexy time to give you all a nice encore.

So, this is the last true chapter. There will be an epilogue to show where they end up down the road, but as far as what is going on in their present, this is it. I'm glad you've all stuck with this story. I can't believe it's almost over. Now I get to focus on more angsty stuff I guess!

And now on to a little more sweetness…

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 40<strong>

Callie's eyes opened lazily against the sunshine filtering into the cabin. The light bounced off golden curls next to her and she smiled. It hadn't been a dream. They were really here, together, the morning after making love for the first time. And everything was right in her world.

She eased herself up until she was propped on her hand so she could just watch her girlfriend sleep. Arizona was so peaceful looking, her soft breaths causing one strand of hair to move gently to and fro. Callie was reasonably sure she had never seen anyone so beautiful in her whole life.

She resisted the urge to reach out and touch the soft skin. She wanted Arizona to sleep as long as she needed. They had the rest of the weekend together and then the rest of their lives. There was no rush in waking her lover, as much as she was dying to see the sunlight play in those stunning blue eyes.

"You're watching me sleep," Arizona mumbled without opening her eyes.

"Busted," Callie said with a light chuckle. Now that Arizona was awake, she didn't feel the need to hold back her desire to touch Arizona's skin, so she started running her free hand lightly over an exposed shoulder. "You're so beautiful," she said with a sense of wonder in her voice.

Arizona obviously tried not to smile but she was unsuccessful as her lips curled up and a dimple showed on the cheek not covered by the pillow. "Thanks," she finally whispered. She then blinked her eyes a few times and leaned up onto her hand so that she was on level with Callie. "You're pretty stunning yourself, you know?"

Callie felt a heat come to her cheeks. She covered it by leaning forward to place a gentle but lingering kiss on Arizona's lips. "Good morning," she said as they pulled apart.

"Mmm, yeah, good morning." She reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Callie's ear. "Last night was amazing," she said.

A broad smile flashed onto Callie's face. "Would it be horribly cliché of me to call it life changing?"

Blonde curls bounced as Arizona shook her head. "No, because it was a big change for you. I hope it was life changing in a good way," she said, a hint of uncertainty playing in her eyes.

"Oh, God, yes. Arizona, last night was…" She shook her head, having the hardest time putting into words exactly how she felt about everything she had experienced with her lover. She took a deep breath and searched for something she could say, finally realizing that nothing was adequate enough. "Last night was the best sex of my life and it was so much more than the sex. I don't think I ever quite got why they call it making love before, because I never felt anything more than just the physical pleasure of it, really. But with you, that was making love. I've never felt closer to someone in my life."

A relieved smile spread to Arizona's lips a second before she leaned in and kissed Callie. "I love you so much, do you know that?" Arizona finally said with her lips only centimeters away from the kiss.

"I do. And that's mutual, you know. I've never loved anyone like this." Callie fell down onto the bed and rolled onto her back as she pulled Arizona on top of her. She then reached up and ran her finger along Arizona's jaw. "You've opened my eyes, Arizona, to so much."

"You're not the only one. You taught me how to trust again. I thought after Sandy I'd never be able to let someone in and yet here you are." She took Callie's hand and kissed the palm. "Thank you for being a little stubborn and convincing me this was worth taking a chance on. I've never been happier or more excited for the future."

"Well, let's not worry about the future right this second," Callie said as she let her voice drop into a suggestive register. "Because right now, I want an encore. The future will still be there later."

"Hear, hear," Arizona said as she leaned down and kissed Callie, this time with an ever increasing passion.

As Callie lost herself in Arizona all she could think of was how amazing that future would be with this woman to love and be loved by. She was incredibly lucky. And if she had anything to say or do about it, she'd make sure Arizona felt the same way.

* * *

><p>Arizona smiled as she moved through the door onto back deck where the hot tub, and Callie, were waiting. She had to use her hip to close the cabin door because her hands were full with the picnic basket and bottle of chilled champagne she had pulled together in the kitchen. "So, now that we've worked up a really big appetite, how about a little brunch?"<p>

Callie smiled from where she was sitting in the hot swirling water. "Food sounds heavenly," she said with a quiet sigh.

Arizona's smile only grew when she caught sight of the wet bikini that lay in a puddle by the far side of the hot tub. "I'm thinking that what's under the water is pretty heavenly," she said, her voice dropping seductively as she placed the picnic basket and champagne down on the side of the hot tub.

Callie's eyebrow rose as she looked Arizona up and down. "Well, you'll just have to get in here to find out. But first, I want to see what's under that robe."

"Oh this old thing?" Arizona laughed lightly as she fingered the edge of the robe down to where it was tied at her waist. She felt butterflies dance in her stomach at just the way Callie was looking at her in that moment. She had never seen so much desire in another woman's eyes before. "What do you think I have on under here anyway?"

"I'm kind of hoping nothing," Callie said as she leaned back against the hot tub.

"Oh really?" Arizona tried hard not to laugh a little nervously. She looked out over the beach, relieved to see that it was empty. She had been hoping there would be no potential peeping Toms around. "Well, you might get your wish," she finally said as she looked back down at Callie.

"Let's see," Callie said, her voice suddenly tight with desire.

Arizona licked her lips as she again ran her hand up and down the front of her robe. She was going to enjoy giving Callie a little show, hoping that her lover would return the favor later. With a mischievous grin she slowly undid the tie at her waist, keeping the robe closed with her hand. She then turned her back to Callie and looked over her shoulder. "What will you give me if I show you?"

Callie bit at her lip and Arizona wasn't sure if the red that came to her cheeks was from the heat of the hot tub or something else. But then the slightly shy expression turned sultry as Callie's smile broadened and she rose up in the water until her breasts were just above the surface. Water dripped from the tight nipples, causing Arizona's mouth to go suddenly dry. "How about these?"

"I think that would be a fair trade," Arizona said just as she let the robe fall from her shoulders.

"God," Callie breathed out as her eyes went wide at the revelation of nothing but skin.

Arizona shook her ass and laughed at Callie's reaction. It felt so good to have Callie desire her like this. It had been so long since she had felt anything akin to this. In fact, if she were being honest, she had never felt anything quite like this heady power over Callie, and, more importantly, the power her lover had over her. "Ready for more?"

"Please?"

Arizona couldn't stand waiting any longer, this game both exhilarating and frustrating at the same time, so she turned, smiling a little self-consciously. "You like?"

"I love," Callie husked out as she moved across the hot tub toward Arizona. "Please, get in here now. If I don't touch you, I think I might just die."

"We can't have that, now can we?"

Arizona found herself in the hot tub and in Callie's arms before she even consciously thought about moving. And then they were just lost in each other, exploring each other, the thought of food long since forgotten. Whereas the first two times they had made love, they had languished in the sensations, this time was more heated, more frantic, as they quickly brought each other to another round of resounding climaxes.

Only when they were both satisfied and lounging in each other's arms, did Arizona laugh quietly.

"What?" Callie's voice tickled her ear.

"Nothing. I'm just so happy that I can't keep it in." She sighed contentedly as she leaned back into Callie's arms. "I never thought I'd have this, not after Sandy, and now here we are. Have I thanked you for not taking no for an answer lately?"

"You might have mentioned it recently." Callie then got very quiet as she ran her finger through the water.

"What?" Arizona asked.

"I, um, well I wanted to ask you something," Callie said, finally finishing in a nervous rush.

"Okay," Arizona drew out as she extracted herself from Callie's embrace and turned to look into her brown eyes. There was a hesitancy there that pulled at Arizona's heart. "You can ask me anything."

"Okay," Callie said before letting out a deep breath. "Well, I was just wondering if you'd think about moving in with me. I mean, I know we said we'd wait, but this morning when I woke up and you were there next to me, I'm not sure I can deal with you not being there every morning." She smiled as her eyes fell toward the water. "I mean when either of us isn't working that is. I want this as much as possible. But, well, if you think it's too fast…"

Arizona moved forward and straddled Callie's lap as a smile spread to her lips. "Wow, one night and you've turned into such a lesbian," she whispered with a light laugh.

"Huh?" Callie's brow furrowed.

"U-hauling. Lesbians move in quickly or at least that's the stereotype."

"Oh," Callie said simply but there was still confusion on her face and a hesitancy there.

Arizona realized then that she hadn't answered yet. "Never mind. Callie, I would love to move in with you, but what about your kids? Are they ready to have mommy's girlfriend move in? Are you ready to have mommy's girlfriend there on a daily basis with them?"

"There'll be an adjustment period, but that'll happen whenever you move in. So, let's just get it out of the way."

Arizona reached up and cupped Callie's cheeks. She leaned in slightly until their mouths were only a few inches apart and she was looking directly into Callie's deep brown eyes. She had to admit she had dreamed of building a life with Callie, of spending their day to day lives together, and even of helping her raise her children. It was a dream she had never had before Callie and yet now it was one she was so anxious to undertake. "Yes. Yes, I'll move in with you."

"Really?" Callie asked as a bright smile came to her lips.

"Really."

"Good." Callie kissed Arizona gently. "Now, let me show you how much of a lesbian I am," she said, her voice dropping into that incredibly sexy register she had.

"Please."

TBC…


	41. Epilogue

**No Matter of Chance **

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****:** Well, it's finally time to put this story to bed. I started it almost a year ago as a diversion from Thin Line and it sort of took on a life of its own. I'm glad so many of you have enjoyed this and sorry I won't be giving some of you your wish of this continuing. It's run its course and it's time to focus on other projects. It's been a lot of fun to get to do a Calzona first time, that's for sure. And now for the requisite hokey ending.

I've enjoyed all your comments. It's the only payment we writers get and I know we all work long and hard on these stories that you love so much. A little one line of thanks means so much to us and gets us enthused to write more.

Anyway, thank you all so much for taking this journey with me…and now for a peek into their future.

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

"You're gorgeous, mom," Allegra said as she pulled at her own dress.

"Oh this old thing?" Callie said with a laugh as she looked down at the ivory wedding gown she had just finished putting on.

"I think the only thing older than that dress is me," Carlos said as he walked over to give his daughter a kiss on her cheek.

Callie had found the dress in a small boutique and was surprised to find out it had been used. _Vintage,_ the saleswoman had said. Arizona had laughed when she had heard about the dress and called it a "mid-century antique", but Callie had just fallen in love with it. There was something about it that reminded her of her mother's wedding dress that she had always loved in the old picture that sat in her parents' living room. The veil that she had made to match the one her mother had worn just finished the illusion that she could have been getting married back in the sixties. Well, except for the fact that this wedding was to a woman, and thanks to the state of Washington being rather progressive, a legal one at that. That would have been unheard of back in her parents' day. "You're both just classics," Callie said as she gave her father a hug.

Just then Owen knocked on the door and poked his head into the room. "So, Mark says that Arizona is ready. You ready to make an honest woman of her?"

Callie took a deep breath, finally feeling the nervous butterflies hit her stomach. But beyond that, there was the excitement of finally getting to marry the love of her life. It had taken them three years to get to this day, but now that they were here, she just couldn't wait another minute. "Yes, yes, I'm ready. Let's get this show on the road."

Owen smiled and then gave her a nod. "Okay, see you up at the altar."

Callie looked around the room, happy to have her family all there to take part in this special day. Her mother was already seated in the chapel. Her father was going to walk her down the aisle while her kids would be acting as flower girl and ring bearers. And even her ex-husband was going to stand by her as her best man. It was perhaps a little unconventional, but that seemed par for the course for her and Arizona. And she didn't care as long as they got to stand up in front of their family and friends and proclaim their love and devotion to one another. She hadn't quite understood the meaning of marriage her first go around, but this time, knowing that she had found the one person she was meant to be with until death did them part, she was overwhelmed by the power of it all.

Carlos took her by the arm and patted her hand. "I'm so happy for you, mija. I think you've finally found the one."

"I know I have," she said with a bright smile.

The small group made it out into the hallway and then over to the entrance to the chapel that she would pass through momentarily. She knew Arizona was getting set at the other door partially around the oval chapel. One of the reasons they had chosen this location was the fact that they could each enter at the same time, each walking toward the altar with her father on her arm. The thought of finally seeing Arizona in her gown made Callie's heart race. She peeked into the chapel, seeing everyone seated in the pews. Owen and Mark each stood to the side of the altar, waiting to perform their duties as best men to the couple. "Wish the music would start," she said, bouncing nervously in her heels.

"Any second now," Carlos whispered into her ear.

As if he had a direct connection to the string quartet that was to play during the ceremony, the quiet music starting to float through the chapel. The crowd became quiet at the cue and a few turned in their seats to look at the entrances in the rear of the chapel. Smiles from family and friends reached back to Callie and filled her with such gratitude that they were all there to share this day with them.

"Do we go in yet?" Ethan asked as he fidgeted with the collar of his shirt.

"Just a few seconds. You each have your ring, right?" Carlos asked even though they all knew the rings were actually tied onto the small pillows they were carrying so that they wouldn't be lost.

Max rolled his eyes comically. "Yes, Abuelo."

Just then the tone of the music changed and Callie smiled down at her sons. "Okay, that's your cue. Don't forget, nice and slow like we practiced."

The boys both nodded and then turned toward the chapel. Max pushed at his brother once before starting to walk into the chapel. Ethan had to rush to catch up, but luckily he didn't try to retaliate for the shove. They walked a little quicker than Callie would have liked, but still she couldn't blame them. Kindergartners were not exactly known for their patience.

"You ready, mija?" Callie asked her daughter.

Allegra's smile was broad. "Let's go make her my mom," Allegra said as she turned, almost nonchalantly taking off down the aisle.

"She's a piece of work," Carlos said with a light chuckle. "So like you were at that age."

"I guess that's the grandparents' revenge, huh? But I wouldn't have it any other way." Callie took a deep breath as Allegra made it to the front of the chapel and moved off to the side to sit with her grandmother. This was really it. She was going to marry Arizona and make official what they had grown to know in the last few years—that they had formed a family that would last a lifetime.

Just then the music changed again. They had voted against the traditional wedding march and instead opted for a classical piece that they had fallen in love with when they had gone to hear the quartet they were hiring in concert. "Shall we?" Carlos asked as he looked over at his daughter.

"Yes," Callie replied, her voice tight with emotion.

They started to pass through the door just as everyone rose to their feet. While it was special to have all of her friends and family standing to watch her go down the aisle, it was also frustrating, because now her view of Arizona was obscured. She caught a flash of white and a hint of blonde hair now and again out of the corner of her eye even through the throngs of people in the pews. She was glad for those glimpses, not only for the knowledge that her fiancé was approaching the altar, but in order to try to time their arrivals to coincide.

Then they passed the final row of seats and suddenly Arizona was there on the arm of her father. She was breathtaking in her simple white gown. There were no frills or even embellishments, but the simple off-the-shoulder design accentuated her figure and actually drew attention to the beaming smile on her gorgeous face. Her smile was bright, showing off her perfect dimples and her blue eyes sparkled as they met Callie's. _I get to marry this woman._ She could hardly believe it.

They reached the altar and their fathers handed them off to each other. When her hand took Arizona's, their fingers instantly intertwining in a familiar way, Callie felt such a jolt of electricity it caused her to jump. Arizona nodded at her knowingly and whispered, "You're stunning."

"Me? Look at you. Perfection," Callie whispered back.

Reverend Smythe cleared her throat, causing both women to break eye contact and look toward their officiant. The minister smiled to each of them before raising her head to address those gathered for the wedding. "Good afternoon everyone and on behalf of our brides, I'd like to thank you all for being here with us today to celebrate the wedding of two amazing women to one another."

Callie listened as the minister spoke briefly about the importance of marriage and sharing this important commitment with family and friends. Throughout the short remarks, she kept glancing over at Arizona, unable to keep her eyes off her soon-to-be wife for more than a few seconds. She was just so beautiful and Callie could barely believe she got to finally make their relationship official and total. She wasn't sure she could be more happy than she was at that moment.

"So, our brides have written their own vows. Callie, please."

Callie took a deep breath as she turned toward Arizona, taking both of her hands in her own. Public speaking was never something she enjoyed, in fact it often made her sweaty and panicked. But instead of thinking about all those people gathered there, she instead focused on those blue eyes of her life's love. She fell into them, feeling the love and warmth that shone from them, fill her with strength and support. "Arizona, when I think back now to how our relationship began, I have to laugh. I don't think either of us would say we were anything more than professional with each other. And by professional, I mean we pretty much couldn't stand one another."

Arizona and everyone gathered there laughed. Arizona smiled at her, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she gave just the smallest of nods. "You could say that," she replied.

Callie laughed quietly and looked down to their joined hands for a moment to gather herself before looking back up into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. "But then that all changed. It wasn't easy for either of us to admit our feelings, I know. And boy were you stubborn about giving in to those feelings, but finally we began what has been the most amazing few years of my life. I've found the one person I know I'm supposed to love for the rest of my life. I've found a partner who is there for me and my children, in the good times and the bad. And I've really learned what love is all about. You've taught me that and so much more and I couldn't be happier that today we get to truly commit our lives to one another."

"So," she continued with a deep breath, "today I want to commit my life to you. I want to promise you that I will be with you through all of life's ups and downs. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will support you and I'm sure I will fight with you on occasion. But I will always respect you and rely on you from this moment until our last breath together. And I promise you that I will let you know you are loved as often as I can, because you deserve nothing less. So, today I pledge my life to you and to us, to growing old together, until death do us part."

There was a small pause as she took a deep breath of relief that she had gotten it out just as she had hoped and then she nodded to Arizona so she would know it was her turn. With tears in her eyes, Arizona nodded back. She cleared her throat slightly and then laughed so quietly only Callie could have heard. "That was beautiful," Arizona whispered.

The minister then prompted, "Arizona?"

"Right." Arizona stood up straighter and blinked a few times to obviously keep the tears from falling, but one escaped down her left cheek regardless. "See, you've made me cry," she said louder this time, so that those gathered with them could have heard. "Anyway," she continued, her voice catching on the emotion that choked at her throat. "Callie, I never thought I'd find love and certainly not with a straight married girl."

Callie joined everyone in the light laughter that the comment brought up. "Not so straight," she mouthed to Arizona in a repeat of the joke they had often shared over the years.

"Right, not so straight," Arizona said aloud, but just loud enough for those at the altar to hear. "But then you came into my life and I fought it and fought it. I just wanted us to be friends, but you wouldn't settle and I've never been happier to be wrong. You've taught me what real love is. You've taught me what family is. You even taught me how to be a mother when that was something I would have sworn to you I would never be. And best yet, you made me want that and so much more. You gave me dreams I never knew I had and you've fulfilled each of them in turn. Things aren't always perfect, but each day I get to spend with you and your children couldn't be better."

Callie felt her heart swell at the words Arizona was offering her. They were so heartfelt and perfect, so exactly how they had come to appreciate each other, that tears sprang instantly to her eyes. She smiled through those tears at the love of her life and offered the smallest of nods to her, showing her support and agreement with every word and sentiment.

"So, today I stand before you and before our family and friends. I stand before your children, too, and maybe most importantly. I stand here to promise you that I will always love you, more today than yesterday. And more tomorrow than I do today. It seems like every time I think I can't love you any more, I do." She gave Callie a smile as a red tinge came to her cheeks.

"Me, too," Callie said so quietly only Arizona would have been able to hear.

"I know," she replied just as quietly. Then she raised her voice again so it would fill the chapel. "I want to swear to you that I will take care of you when you need it and I will let you take care of me, which as everyone who knows me would say, is not something I would allow just anyone to do."

There was a small rumble of laughter from Arizona's side of the chapel.

"I will be there for you and your children, every moment, through the good times and the bad. I will honor you and respect you and cherish every moment we have together. I will always do my best to put us before myself, to do my best to help you raise these three amazing kids. Your smile lights up my life, Calliope, it fills my heart with such joy and hope for the future, and I will do everything I can to give you reason to smile as often as possible. And when you can't, I will be there to give you strong arms to hold you and a steady shoulder to cry on. Because today, we become one. Your sorrow becomes my sorrow and your joy my joy. And I couldn't be happier or prouder to be able to call you my wife every day, for the rest of my life."

Tears were now tumbling down both of their faces and Callie couldn't help but chuckle quietly at how emotional they both were. It was so unlike them, but then again that was the power of moments like this, when the future was so bright and full of hope, and their life was showered in their love and the love of their friends and family.

"Do you have the rings?" the minister asked, forcing Callie's mind back to the present as they both looked to her.

"We have them," Max said as he and his brother walked up and showed the small pillows each had carried in, their rings tied with light blue satin ribbon on each.

Both women reached down and gave each twin a kiss on the cheek before liberating the rings from their pillows. They then turned back to the minister as they had practiced.

"Callie, please place the ring on Arizona's hand and repeat after me."

Callie listened as the minister spoke the words of the more formal part of the ceremony, repeating when she paused. "I give you this ring with love and joy. Just as a ring has no end, so is my love for you eternal. I choose you to be my wife this day and every day of our lives." She slid the ring on Arizona's finger.

Arizona then repeated the same words and slid the ring onto Callie's left hand.

"Now," the minister said with a bright smile, "with the power invested in me by the state of Washington, I hereby pronounce you wife and wife. Please seal this joyous union with a kiss."

Callie smiled wide as the realization hit her that she was married to the love of her life. She laughed as the excitement and joy filled her so fully it had to just bubble out. She reached up and placed her hands on either side of Arizona's face just as her wife did the same and leaned in to kiss her deeply. For that one perfect moment, it was just her and Arizona alone in the world. And then the applause entered her consciousness and she remembered where they were. She pulled back from the kiss, still smiling so much that her face was starting to hurt, and took Arizona's hand in her own.

Arizona then motioned with her free hand for the three children to come up and stand in front of them, so that all five of them were looking out over everyone who was celebrating with them.

The minister's voice came from behind them. "I present to you the Robbins-Torres family."

Callie leaned her head toward Arizona. "You're my wife," she said, loud enough for her to hear over the applause that still continued.

"And you're my wife," Arizona said back with a squeeze of her hand.

_My wife._ Callie couldn't be happier.

* * *

><p>Arizona looked over at her wife—she was still getting used to that idea even after their three-year relationship and almost one-year engagement—and laughed with a small shake of her head.<p>

"What?" Callie asked as she put her fork down and took Arizona in with a mixture of amusement and concern. "Do I have food on my face?" She looked down. "In my cleavage?"

"No," Arizona said with an even brighter smile now as she reached over to take Callie's hand in her own. "I was just thinking about what you said during the ceremony. About how we used to not like one another very much."

"Well we didn't. You always seemed like such a sour puss in our staff meetings. I used to wonder how you didn't scare all your patients."

"And I thought you were just a spoiled rich girl. Those Jimmy Choos you would wear just screamed spoiled and vapid."

"Vapid? Really? Can a cardio god be vapid?"

Arizona leaned a bit closer. "I hate to tell you, but it's a possibility. I'm just glad I was wrong."

"Me, too."

Just then the clinking of silverware on crystal started to ring out. Arizona rolled her eyes as it grew louder until everyone was watching them as they called for another kiss. "It's such a sacrifice to kiss you."

"Oh, I know," Callie replied as she closed the distance. They kept the kiss tender yet chaste as applause now replaced the previous clinking. When they separated, Callie smiled, her brown eyes twinkling. "I'm so in love with you."

"Likewise. So, so likewise," Arizona replied before giving her another peck on the corner of her mouth.

A throat cleared on the other side of the table, causing them both to look. Ellis Grey was standing there with the most genuine smile Arizona thought she'd ever seen on her boss. "I wanted to offer my congratulations and also pass on the best wishes from the board. And, um," she stammered before looking down, an uncharacteristic show of doubt coming to her face. Finally she looked back up and fixed her gaze on Arizona. "Dr. Robbins," she started and then smiled slightly. "Arizona, I just wanted to let you know that the agreement we had when you first came to work for us, well, consider it null and void."

"Oh," Arizona replied, completely surprised by the Chief's statement. It was, in a way, an overdue admission of being wrong, which was not exactly something Ellis Grey often did. And really it wasn't necessary as far as Arizona and Callie were concerned. Over the previous three years they had become much more open about their relationship at work. It hadn't truly been intentional but had developed organically as they expanded their social circle among their colleagues. Just a few weeks ago, in fact, those same colleagues turned friends had thrown them a bridal shower that almost every surgeon and nurse they knew—and even a few they didn't—seemed to attend. Still it was a nice, if incredibly late, gesture from the Chief. "Thank you," Arizona finally said with a sweet smile.

"Yes, well," Ellis stammered before giving a small nod and then quickly leaving.

"Did she just admit she was wrong?" Callie asked, an incredulous look on her face.

"Not entirely, but that's probably as close as she'll get, so let's just take it as such. Besides, it's not like there's anyone at work who doesn't know. Roger, the night janitor, even congratulated me last week."

"I can top that," Callie added with a twinkle in her eyes. "Father Downin was in to give last rites to a patient last week and even he offered his congratulations. Completely informally, of course. But the Pope would have excommunicated him on the spot if he'd been there. I was floored."

"Now that is progress."

They went back to finishing their dinner, kissing during the frequent prompts from their guests, and speaking with friends and family who stopped by to offer their best wishes. After dinner, the music started and they were waiting for the announcement of their first dance when Arizona saw Owen talk to the kids off to the side of the dance floor. Then all four of them went over and climbed onto the small stage in front of the band. "What are they up to?" Arizona asked as she saw Owen pick up the microphone and look at it like he wasn't sure if it was on.

"No clue," Callie answered as she leaned toward Arizona and took her hand. There was something in her tone of voice that made Arizona think she might not be telling the whole truth, but before she could call her wife on it, Owen was tapping the mic.

"Good evening, everyone. As one of the best men, I'll be sharing emcee duties for tonight's festivities. But before we get to the toasts and the cake and the inevitable drunken dancing, our children, Allegra, Ethan and Max, would like to say a few words." He handed the mic to Allegra and gave her a small nod before stepping aside.

As the young girl brought the mic to her mouth there was some feedback that made her jump. She then tried it again, slower this time, and tentatively said, "Hi everyone." She smiled when she got a round of greetings from the guests. "My brothers and I wanted to say something before it gets too late. It's almost their bedtime so we'll have to leave just after the cake is cut I think." She sounded less than thrilled about that.

Arizona shot a look at Callie who was beaming with pride. Obviously Allegra had not inherited her mother's fear of public speaking. Arizona leaned over to her wife and whispered, "You know something."

Without taking her eyes off her kids, she smiled. "Maybe."

Arizona's attention was drawn back to the kids then as Allegra continued. "Max, Ethan and I want to say we are so happy for both of you," she said, now addressing Callie and Arizona directly. "Mommy and Arizona are always so happy and that makes us happy."

Ethan stuck his head in to speak into the mic. "And Arizona is a lot of fun."

Everyone laughed, but Arizona simply smiled up at the trio brightly. She was now feeling a little of the pride she had seen on Callie's face earlier. It hadn't always been easy, but over the years she had grown to love Callie's kids deeply, and she was reasonably sure the feeling was mutual. It even seemed strange now that she had ever thought she wouldn't want children. She couldn't imagine not having them in her life.

Allegra pulled the mic away from her brother and rolled her eyes at the interruption. "As I was saying, we wanted to say that we are excited you are officially part of our family, Arizona. And we wanted to ask you a question."

She was taken aback by that a little, but recovered quickly. "Of course," she called up to them loud enough for everyone to hear.

Callie squeezed her hand as Owen took the mic from Allegra. It was so quiet in the banquet hall then that Arizona could swear she heard her heart start to pound. The three kids all faced her and Allegra quietly said something to her brothers before she counted with her fingers. On three they all shouted at the top of their lungs, "Can we call you Mama?"

Arizona gasped. She was completely surprised by the request. "Did you know about this?" she whispered to Callie as she watched everyone look at her expectantly.

"Of course. They asked me if it was okay."

Arizona's heart really started to pound as tears stung her eyes. It was like the whole world stopped for a moment as she just looked at the kids. These were kids that she loved desperately and who wanted her to be their other mother, both in deed and in name. It was touching and daunting and downright terrifying all at once. She jumped when she felt Callie poke her leg, realizing that she was leaving the kids hanging without an answer. "Yes. Yes, of course you can," she said as she got to her feet and moved around the table. The kids ran to meet her as she knelt to get on their level and pull them all into a big group hug. "Thank you," she whispered to them when they were in her arms.

As their guests applauded, Callie came over to join the hug. "One big happy family," she whispered into Arizona's ear before kissing her cheek.

"I love all of you," Arizona said as the tears of joy fell down her cheeks. She then laughed as she hastily wiped at them. "Good thing I wore waterproof mascara today."

"You're beautiful, Mama," Allegra said, smiling brightly.

"Thanks kiddo. You guys are just so amazing. I'm so lucky."

"Let's get everyone back to the table so the boys can get on with the festivities," Callie suggested.

The brides corralled the kids back into their seats at the head table. Mark and Owen began a quick banter to get everyone's attention and then offered a number of humorous stories along with a few heartfelt toasts. Each of their fathers then got up and recounted stories of their little girls, both as kids and adults, showing how truly proud they were of their daughters. Callie and Arizona even got in on the speeches by offering their own along with toasts to their families and friends. The cake was cut and both ended up wearing plenty as they playfully pushed the fondant-covered white cake into each other's mouth.

And then Mark took the mic from Owen, proclaiming himself DJ for the dancing portion of the night. He started by calling Callie and Arizona up for their first dance as wives. They moved into each other's arms, so close that each had her chin resting on the other's shoulder just as the music started. They had asked the kids to help them choose the music and they had found the perfect song for their first dance. The familiar tones of Elton John's "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" had them swaying back and forth to the slow beat, taking in the words of the song. There certainly was more than enough love there that evening to be felt by all.

Part way through, just as the first chorus finished, Arizona pulled back and looked into her wife's deep brown eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For not being afraid to love a woman. For not taking no for an answer. For rescuing me and loving me."

"Seems to me that last one goes both ways. So, thank you, too," Callie said with a bright smile, tears wetting her chocolate eyes.

"You know what we're missing?" Arizona asked as her eyes drifted over to where the kids stood. They would be leaving after this dance, but for now they stood with their father, all three dancing along way too energetically for the music.

Callie must have seen where she was looking. "Our kids," she answered.

"Our kids," Arizona repeated, savoring the fact the she truly felt like they were hers. Somehow she had not only found the love of her life, but the family she never knew she even wanted, but now so desperately needed.

Callie motioned for the kids to come over and the five of them formed a small circle so they could all dance together. Callie smiled across at Arizona. "Better?"

Arizona shook her head. "No, it's perfect."

THE END


End file.
